5 avg
  1018 days
  9244 hugs
  181 followers
Therapy went well. No EMDR this time. When she asked how I was, I said I was back to binging ever since they went back to school so we spent a whole other session discussing my damn eating disorder.
Manda P
1d · LEGEND

We've decided that's what I need to target. Not all the feelings surrounding neglect & abuse in my life. The eating disorder was my first disorder & I've been suffering with it for 22 years!

Manda P
1d · LEGEND

We'll get to that other stuff. I can't imagine how it'd feel to be free from the thoughts, feelings, & behaviors concerning food, body, & weight.

Snail M
1d ·

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Ian D
23h · 6+ MONTHS

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corrado M
20h ·

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nixiblu .
8h · HERO

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Period time. Boo! Woke up early to be able to sign for my Vyvanse & it never came. Therapy tomorrow. Was supposed to go grocery shopping after but will hurry home to sign for the meds. Been gaming.
Natalie C
2d · GUARDIAN

Big hugs x

Alicia B
2d · LEGEND

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Ian D
2d · 6+ MONTHS

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corrado M
2d ·

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Jeff M
2d · LEGEND

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E M
2d ·

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Bipolar Bear .
1d · 1+ YEAR

What game you playing?

Manda P
1d · LEGEND

It's called Two Point Hospital. BF got me hooked on it. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! ❀️

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Slept a lot. Played Two Point Hospital for awhile. Still not using the treadmill. I'm afraid to weigh myself. Been binging & obsessing about food ever since they went back to school. Disappointed.
corrado M
4d ·

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Jen B
4d · HERO

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Nas W
4d ·

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Anna D
4d · 1+ YEAR

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nixiblu .
3d · HERO

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nixiblu .
3d · HERO

Regardless of what scales say. It is a mindset that is difficult to change. Peace to you Manda. Xx

Manda P
3d · LEGEND

Thank you, nixi. xxπŸ’™xx

Manda P
3d · LEGEND

Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Jeff M
3d · LEGEND

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Jeff M
3d · LEGEND

I started watching Brittney Runs a Marathon lats night (movie on Amazon Prime). Silly, but a good reminder of setting tiny little goals to start anything. Maybe set a goal of walking 10 mins on the 'mill?

Manda P
3d · LEGEND

I will definitely check that out, Jeff. I did get on there yesterday but only for 8 minutes because I got dizzy. I'm doing a 3 speed with a 3 incline. Not something to write home about but it's better than nothing, right?

Jeff M
2d · LEGEND

That is absolutely better than nothing, and it's a huge accomplishment! Just get the body moving. Everything gets easier with practice! All you really want is to get that heart pumping.

Manda P
1d · LEGEND

Thanks for the encouragement, Jeff. I was just talking to BF about how I'm going to make myself get up at 9AM everyday & do the treadmill & yoga first thing. I've said this before but will really give it a shot. He said I should do it for two weeks.

Manda P
1d · LEGEND

And then revaluate which probably means I'll feel really good & want to keep it up.

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Thought I was handling it well, but I feel so sad that I don't have friends I can hang out with when I see BF hang out with work friends/old friends. I wish all the Pandas lived in the same place.
Jake G
6d · CHIEFPANDA

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Josh R
6d ·

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Snail M
6d ·

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Nas W
6d ·

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Ian D
6d · 6+ MONTHS

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Ian D
6d · 6+ MONTHS

So do I.

corrado M
6d ·

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Jeff M
6d · LEGEND

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Jeff M
6d · LEGEND

I wish that too, Manda. I don't have any friends either. There are some people I run with, but even after leading a group on Saturday, no one invited me out for food after. It's hard...be thankful you have your bf and daughter!

corrado M
6d ·

panda commune

Ian D
6d · 6+ MONTHS

We should all holiday (vacation for all of you American pandas) in the same placeπŸ˜†

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

Thanks, Jeff. I guess I do need to be more thankful for my BF & daughter. I'm sorry you don't have built in friends like that.

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

Ian, sounds like a plan! 😊 Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! ❀️

Alicia B
5d · LEGEND

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Alicia B
5d · LEGEND

I'm in! Where to first? I'd love a panda hang, you guys are the best.

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Keep sleeping till noon no matter what time I go to bed. BF was gone 9 hours yesterday watching football with friends. Daughter & I had a nice time by ourselves, especially watching Dr Lupo play Sims.
Snail M
6d ·

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6 Manda P
10 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Slept a lot. Was supposed to use the treadmill as soon I woke up to prevent going back to sleep but I suck at life & didn't do it. Ate too much. BF going out to watch football with friends tomorrow.
John T
11 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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5 Manda P
09 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
I think they're finally done burying our power line. It was a 3 day process. Now I can wake & bake. Haven't done that in a long time. BF says daughter didn't look at him once during dinner. He's sad.
Spacekitten V
09 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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corrado M
10 Jan 2020 ·

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Jeff M
10 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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5 Manda P
08 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Slept a lot. BF wants me to tell my psych I am sleeping too much. Like, 14 hours? Sometimes more. Also started binging as soon as they went back to school. Actually felt full & should've stopped.
Robert H
08 Jan 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Spacekitten V
08 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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nixiblu .
08 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Ian D
09 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Jeff M
09 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
09 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Well, good that you're realizing this. That's important! Always good to bring up to your doctor if you're (or he is) concerned!

Manda P
09 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Jeff. I will definitely mention it. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

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4 Manda P
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
BF & daughter go back to school tomorrow. I hate this part of school breaks. I will miss them so much but I'm sure it'll be nice in a way. No appts till therapy on the 17th. Mom still feels distant.
Tayla O
05 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Alicia B
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Alicia B
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Appointment date twinsies! Hope it feels nicer than you expected.

corrado M
06 Jan 2020 ·

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Jeff M
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Bipolar Bear .
07 Jan 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
07 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia! I'm honored to be any type of twinsies with you! It hasn't been too bad without them but, to be honest, I've spent most of the time sleeping. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

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6 Manda P
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Visited my aunt & uncle today. It was nice to chat for awhile. I love them & don't think they are in contact with anyone else from my immediate family. They are struggling in a lot of different ways.
David M
04 Jan 2020 ·

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Albertine M
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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corrado M
04 Jan 2020 ·

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Albertine M
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

They must have appreciated your visit a lot, Manda.

nixiblu .
05 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Jeff M
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Albertine. I want to do it more often. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Alicia B
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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5 Manda P
03 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Did some EMDR at therapy focusing on the emotional, physical, & sexual abuse done by my ex. Still don't feel like I'm fully allowing myself to process it all. Such mixed feelings. Confusion. Hopeful.
nixiblu .
03 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Iris K
04 Jan 2020 ·

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Alicia B
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Alicia B
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

It's hard to process something like that. You will in time though. Hugs

Manda P
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia. I'm happy to be at a stable point & able to finally tackle my messy life. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Albertine M
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Albertine M
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Such good news about how you're feeling x

Jeff M
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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5 Manda P
02 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Keep sleeping till noon. Have to get up at 7:45AM for therapy tomorrow. It'll be painful. Still not using the treadmill regularly. Maybe force myself when they go back to school. It'll be so quiet!
corrado M
02 Jan 2020 ·

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Shelley H
02 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Ian D
03 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Ian D
03 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

Lovely spending time with the kids but it is nice to have some peace when they go back😊

Jeff M
03 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
03 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

There are lots of tips to establishing habits. They say that it takes a minimum of two weeks, which isn't that much time. Just tell yourself you'll use it for two weeks. Set aside a specific time. And don't worry if you fall short!

Manda P
03 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Ian. You're right, it will be peaceful. I should adjust just fine. Jeff- thanks so much for the tip. It does seem easier if I set a smaller goal to meet. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

nixiblu .
03 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Albertine M
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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5 Manda P
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Gotta take the Christmas tree down today. That's always sad. Therapy on Friday. Looking forward to it because I forgot a huge experience to tackle with EDMR. I totally spaced & it's a huge deal.
Iris K
01 Jan 2020 ·

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Laura E
01 Jan 2020 ·

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5 Manda P
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
NYE with just me & my man. Took some Vyvanse so I can stay up with him. Daughter's friend's mom invited us to stay for their party. No thanks! but it was sweet of her to invite us. Gonna vape.
Alicia B
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

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5 Manda P
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Woke up to a panic attack. Daughter had a great time at her sleepover. She had already went to 2 parties, then her own, & now a NYE party. Quite the social butterfly. I'm glad she has so many friends.
Keara B
30 Dec 2019 ·

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corrado M
30 Dec 2019 ·

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Ian D
30 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Shelley H
30 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Bipolar Bear .
31 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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nixiblu .
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

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5 Manda P
29 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Daughter & I got the house cleaned before her friends come over tomorrow. Lots of laundry I need to catch up on though. Mom seems distant. Didn't even get daughter's bday card in the mail. Weird.
Robert H
29 Dec 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Albertine M
29 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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sonny S
30 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Alicia B
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Alicia B
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Hope everything is OK with you and your mom.

Manda P
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia. I hope so, too. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. ❀️

nixiblu .
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

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6 Manda P
27 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Bloodwork & groceries. Daughter going to a sleepover. Went to one last night & having her own bday sleepover on the 29th. She'll be 13! I'll be a mom to a teenager. Not sure how that happened.
Keara B
27 Dec 2019 ·

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Alicia B
27 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Alicia B
27 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Congratulations! You're raising a lovely person :)

Bea M
28 Dec 2019 ·

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nixiblu .
28 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Manda P
28 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Aw! Thanks, Alicia. She is an amazing person. I'm thankful to be her mom. Just hope I haven't screwed things up too much. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! ❀️

Albertine M
29 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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7 Manda P
26 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Had a nice time at BF's mom's family Christmas meal. I made puppy chow to take there & people actually ate it! Talked to my stylist & realized I'm probably gonna screw my hair up dyeing it myself.
nixiblu .
26 Dec 2019 · HERO

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8 Manda P
26 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
We had a great Christmas! Good meal with 'FIL'. My sister stopped by & spoiled me & daughter with lots of gifts. I am so thankful I got to see someone from my family on a holiday. Grateful!
Robert H
26 Dec 2019 · GUARDIAN

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corrado M
26 Dec 2019 ·

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paul M
26 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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6 Manda P
24 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Excited to open presents in the morning! Christmas lunch not so much. We'll be going to both sides of BF's family & then again on Thursday to his mom's for a meal. Sis coming tomorrow. Want to sleep.
Spacekitten V
24 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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nixiblu .
25 Dec 2019 · HERO

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nixiblu .
25 Dec 2019 · HERO

I get it. Have a good one Manda

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