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  1119 days
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Psychiatrist didn't give me anything for anxiety &, for some reason, raised my Luvox dose back to what we thought was making me dizzy. Who knows? Tardive Dyskinesia is bad. I went from a 1 on...
Manda P
3h · LEGEND

...the scale to measure it the last time he checked to a 7 today. Not good. He is going to prescribe something if it's not better in the 3 weeks until I talk to him again. Daughter having a friend over tonight. She hasn't seen her friends in 4 months

Manfred F
3h ·

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Michael W
2h · HERO

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Michael W
2h · HERO

Luvox was a very unfun medicine for me. What are you taking that is causing TD of you don't mind me asking? That's pretty serious! Are there no alternatives that wouldn't cause it? Clozapine is one that does to mind.

Manda P
2h · LEGEND

I've been on Clozapine for well over a year now. The TD started a long time ago. I've been on so many meds that it's hard for me to tell what started it. We had slowly lowered my Clozapine & now he thinks the higher dose was hiding the TD.

Robert H
1h · GUARDIAN

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Therapy went well. Reported a panic attack on the 2nd & two, almost three, yesterday. Speak to psychiatrist tomorrow. Don't have much hope for him prescribing something. Worrying so much about...
Manda P
1d · LEGEND

...them returning to school. This happens every year but it's amplified by a million with them being out since mid March & all the COVID sh*t they are going to have to deal with.

Manfred F
1d ·

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Manda P
1d · LEGEND

Thanks for the hug, Manfred!

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Just got off the phone with my (ex)stepdad. I didn't call him on Father's Day & had been feeling bad about it. It was good to talk with him. I'll be going for a visit soon. Therapy in the morning.
Samantha C
2d ·

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tEnT S
2d · 2+ YEAR

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I thought the dizziness & anxiety got better with the Luvox reduction but it's still there. Really worried about BF & daughter going back to school. BF is barely hearing anything about plans. Nervous!
Manfred F
3d ·

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I made dinner tonight. I'm glad to give BF a break from cooking even if it's just one meal. It was really good! Super hungry now though. Might have some ramen even though BF won't like that.
Samantha C
4d ·

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Robert H
4d · GUARDIAN

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Lowering the Luvox has definitely made a difference. Only felt dizzy once today. Still have anxiety but a lot of it is worrying about what the hell I'll do when BF & daughter go back to school. It...
Manda P
5d · LEGEND

...is always rough after the normal summer break but they've been home since March due to Coronavirus. BF doesn't ha e a clue about what they'll do with school. It's gonna be impossible to keep everything sanitized, socially distance, & so much more.

Robert H
5d · GUARDIAN

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Manda P
4d · LEGEND

Thanks for the hug, Robert!

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So dizzy & lightheaded. Took my reduced Luvox for the first time last night. Hope this helps SOON. Daughter started her period. I just happened to see she signed up for a period tracker when I...
Manda P
7d · LEGEND

...checked her email for a verification. I never look at her email & it just so happened she had started the day before. I asked her why she didn't tell me & she said she knew where the pads were. 😆

Lenny +
7d ·

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Lenny +
7d ·

Gosh she really sounds like she has her head on her shoulders.

Lenny +
7d ·

I definitely wish that I had a mom to bond and tell me about my period though. So maybe there's probably much more room there.

Samantha C
7d ·

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Ann L
7d ·

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Ann J
7d ·

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Manfred F
7d ·

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Manda P
7d · LEGEND

Thanks, Lenny, & thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Michael W
7d · HERO

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Michael W
7d · HERO

Luvox was so trippy and hazy for me it was like I was in a constant state of doing shrooms. It was awful...

nixiblu .
6d · HERO

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Manda P
6d · LEGEND

Sorry to hear that, mik. It was definitely what was causing the dizziness & anxiety. I feel so much better after just a couple lowered dose days. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! 💚

Alicia B
5d · LEGEND

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Alicia B
5d · LEGEND

💜💜💜 your daughter sounds so cool

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

Aw! Thanks, Alicia. That makes me happy. She actually is pretty damn cool!

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4 Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND
No word on an anti anxiety med but I ended up calling them about my dizziness. I've reported it many times & now that I'm doing yoga it's a big problem. I can't bend over w/o getting super dizzy.
Lenny +
02 Jul 2020 ·

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Lenny +
02 Jul 2020 ·

I hope you get the adequate help/ diagnosis soon ❤️

Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Lenny! They called back & we are lowering the Luvox he had raised. If it doesn't help, he's having me reduce my Lamictal. Fingers crossed it works!

Lenny +
7d ·

Very cool. Yes definitely fingers crossed. I just started titrating lamictal this past March. I'm kind of seeing a difference now. But I'm still wondering if there's anything for those severe moments. You know?

Manda P
7d · LEGEND

I've been on the same dose of Lamictal for 13 years. All kinds of meds came & went. Hopefully lowering the Luvox will help. I can barely stand this!

nixiblu .
6d · HERO

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5 Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND
Hoping to hear from my psych tomorrow. I might have to wait till the 10th. Finding that I have more motivation & I wake up early but go back to sleep. Caffeine free & yoga everyday to help anxiety.
Robert H
02 Jul 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Shelley H
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

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nixiblu .
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

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6 Manda P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Did yoga today! Setting a rule that I can't get on my phone until I do it. Therapist is going to talk to my psychiatrist about getting me on something for the anxiety. Fingers crossed bcuz this sucks!
Manfred F
30 Jun 2020 ·

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Robert H
30 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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nixiblu .
30 Jun 2020 · HERO

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Laura B
30 Jun 2020 ·

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Alicia B
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

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Shelley H
01 Jul 2020 · HERO

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Bipolar Bear .
01 Jul 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Shelley H
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

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5 Manda P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Therapy tomorrow. I feel like I've been waiting years even though I just talked to her a week ago. The anxiety is still out of control & I obviously have a lot to unpack with the whole mom mess.
Matthew N
30 Jun 2020 ·

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Robert H
30 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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corrado M
30 Jun 2020 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
30 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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6 Manda P
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Texting with my MIL. Told her my parents are alcoholics & that played a part in the whole mess with my Mom. It's been nice talking to her. Getting closer with her more than ever before. Who knew?!
Manfred F
28 Jun 2020 ·

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P B
28 Jun 2020 ·

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Alicia B
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

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Alicia B
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

That's so nice! Very happy for you.

Manda P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia! She's been in my life for 15 years & the majority of those were not pleasant. I'm learning to just ignore her ridiculousness.

nixiblu .
29 Jun 2020 · HERO

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nixiblu .
29 Jun 2020 · HERO

Yay. Sounds like a change. Progress. X

K T
30 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

That's great Manda! COVID has some perks if we search for them!

Manda P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, ladies! xx

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5 Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Mom apologized & said she wouldn't say anything bad about me or young people. She's taking a break from social media to 'sit back & reflect'. This is all because Sis went off on her for yesterday.
Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thankful to have my sister & childhood friend who were there for the WHOLE mess that started all my disorders.

Manfred F
27 Jun 2020 ·

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Ira T
27 Jun 2020 ·

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Laura B
27 Jun 2020 ·

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nixiblu .
27 Jun 2020 · HERO

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P B
27 Jun 2020 ·

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Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, my wonderful Panda friends. 💚

Kris B
28 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Alicia B
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

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K T
30 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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1 Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I got into a huge fight w/mom. She said that all us kids (me, Sis, & brothers plus their families) are nuts because we are against Trump & are BLM. She said I never cared about her & my stepdad. 😳
Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

She said daughter doesn't even know reality. I'm still so fired up. Thankfully I was able to talk to my sister & she helped a lot. They are selfish alcoholics that chose their dream life over her children.

Manfred F
27 Jun 2020 ·

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Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks for the hug, Manfred. I can't stop obsessing over this. I don't talk to my therapist until Tuesday. I don't know how I'll make it till then!

Robert H
27 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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J L
27 Jun 2020 ·

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corrado M
27 Jun 2020 ·

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corrado M
27 Jun 2020 ·

so sorry you have to experience this. oh the bright side, you are 100% right and they are wrong.

Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, corrado. It is nice to know I'm right. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Kris B
28 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Alicia B
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

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K T
30 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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K T
30 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

Try journalling or if journalling is too difficult, sometimes I try to draw how I feel. Or even just draw out the words!

Manda P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

That's a good idea, KT. I haven't journaled in such a long time. It has helped me through so much stuff. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! 💚

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6 Manda P
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I've decided to completely cut caffeine. I've limited to 1 pop in the morning since Tuesday & will be getting caffeine free pop for myself tomorrow. Hopefully this helps with the anxiety. Have been...
Manda P
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

...waking up around 6-7AM & feeling like I could stay up, but always lay back down. Have had the motivation to do chores. Feeling bored with life. Hope I'm not becoming manic.

Sergey F
25 Jun 2020 ·

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Alicia B
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

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Robert H
25 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Manfred F
25 Jun 2020 ·

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Shelley H
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

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Kris B
28 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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6 Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Therapy. She kept saying she had 1 more thing to tell me & that she could talk to me forever. That made me feel good! She said if the anxiety gets worse to let them know & she would advocate for me.
Susu M
23 Jun 2020 ·

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Manfred F
23 Jun 2020 ·

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corrado M
23 Jun 2020 ·

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Spencer N
23 Jun 2020 ·

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Albertine M
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

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Albertine M
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I think we could all talk to you forever! But what a great thing to hear from your therapist!

Spacekitten V
23 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Aw! Thanks, Al. That's sweet of you to say. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! ❤️

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4 Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Talked to psych today. Told him I'm having constant anxiety & had 2 panic attacks in the past week. He said he'd give me Ativan but studies show benzos don't mix well with Clozaril. Upped my Luvox.
Robert H
23 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Laura B
23 Jun 2020 ·

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10 Manda P
22 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I went to my sister's new house today. It's over an hour away & I actually just met her in town, but I'm still proud I made it. Her house is beautiful & it was so nice to sit & talk with her. Happy!
Robert H
22 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Raven R
22 Jun 2020 ·

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paul M
22 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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corrado M
22 Jun 2020 ·

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nixiblu .
22 Jun 2020 · HERO

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6 Manda P
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Slept till 1:30PM. I woke up around 9AM but DIDN'T EAT & went back to bed. Daughter asking a lot of questions about marijuana. We are going to tell her I use it soon. Will be nice to not have to hide.
Manfred F
20 Jun 2020 ·

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Robert H
21 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

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nixiblu .
21 Jun 2020 · HERO

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7 Manda P
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I've lost 4lbs since I started decreasing my Clozapine! I'm excited for a future where I lose a lot more. Going to Sis's new house on Sun. An hour drive. I'm already nervous. Making a sugar cream pie.
Metron A
18 Jun 2020 · SUPPORTER

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nixiblu .
19 Jun 2020 · HERO

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Albertine M
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

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Albertine M
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Well done! How was your pie?:)

nixiblu .
20 Jun 2020 · HERO

Sounds delish

Manda P
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

It was amazing! The crust wasn't pretty but I'd say it was a good first shot. Going to make another one tonight because I still have half of the dough I made. Daughter wasn't too big of a fan though.

Manda P
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I've missed you, Albertine! Hope you are well. xx

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