5 avg
  994 days
  9130 hugs
  178 followers
Just took a shower after too many days of being trapped in bed with a sickness & fevers. CLEAN SHEETS! Gotta stay up for adult time. First there was the UTI, BF's tooth fiasco, & a bug going around.
Jimbob W
16h · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Jen B
15h · HERO

*Hugs*

Carmen H
15h ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6h · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6h · LEGEND

Ugh! I hope everyone is feeling much better!

Once logged in you can be part of the community
Feeling A LOT better. Actually took my Vyvanse & got some caffeine to get me going. I was able to eat ramen for lunch! BF & daughter now sick too. At least we aren't puking. That's never fun!
Ian D
1d · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
18h · HERO

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
Sick since yesterday. Nauseous & feverish. Skipped going to Chipotle with BF & daughter but I'm finally feeling hungry. Think I'm gonna try a soft pretzel when they get home. Glad to be outta bed!
Albertine M
3d · LEGEND

Feel better soon! Soft pretzel sounds like a good start

Manda P
3d · LEGEND

Thanks, Albertine! I thought I was starving & ended up feeling sick after only half of it. 😒

Danielle C
3d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
2d · HERO

*Hugs*

Shelley H
2d · HERO

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
Relaxing day. Slept in & have been hanging out with BF. Finished Pet Sematery & was so disappointed. I've moved on to someone more my style & am reading a Ruth Ware book. Already enjoying it.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
BF had a big dentist appt today. Infected broken tooth that needed an extraction & bridge work. I feel bad for him. He has tomorrow off so I look forward to spending the day with him. I want a nap. 😴
Alicia B
6d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
6d · LEGEND

Poor thing. Hope he feels better soon.

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia. He's still sore & a little swollen but hopefully it'll feel better soon. He's a trooper!

Once logged in you can be part of the community
Therapy went well. We were supposed to pick a topic to work on with EMDR but there is just SO MUCH & it's all connected. She says I'm opening the door & seeing what's in the room. She says this is ok.
Manda P
7d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
7d · LEGEND

Ugh, hugged myself. Wanted to say that this is bringing up lots of old memories. Crazy to miss my ex when I think he broke me.

Jake M
7d ·

*Hugs*

Danielle C
7d ·

*Hugs*

Ian D
7d · 6+ MONTHS

We have to keep feeling these things to get over them properly, hard but stick at it.

Ian D
7d · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6d · LEGEND

I hope you manage to clear out that room and decorate it with all sorts of good stuff that makes you happy! Subconscious feng shui! (I like this metaphor!)

Manda P
6d · LEGEND

Thank you, Pandas. I like that metaphor too, Jeff. Will be sharing it with my therapist!

Alicia B
6d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
6d · LEGEND

I like the sound of that too, Jeff

Once logged in you can be part of the community
4 Manda P
29 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
I have a freaking UTI. Hope it goes away or else I'll have to call the doc on Monday. Thanksgiving went well. I didn't worry about it months in advance like I used to so that was nice. Therapy Monday.
Jake M
29 Nov 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
01 Dec 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
01 Dec 2019 · HERO

Belated happy Thanksgiving Manda Panda

Manda P
01 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Thank you, sweet nixi! πŸ’™ Thanks for the hug, Jake!

Jen B
02 Dec 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Alicia B
7d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
7d · LEGEND

Oh no, Hope you're feeling better by now

Manda P
7d · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia! I managed to flush it out of my system in a day. Thank goodness because UTIs suck!

Once logged in you can be part of the community
7 Manda P
22 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
Started a new video game & am having so much fun with it. Mom sent us a check for $300 to spend as Christmas gifts. So generous & much needed. New computer, treadmill, $3600 dental work for BF.
Bipolar Bear .
24 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Alicia B
24 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
24 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Love it when there's a game to enjoy! What is it?

nixiblu .
25 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manda P
28 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

It's called The Outer Worlds. It's awesome! Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
19 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
Did my first EMDR session yesterday. I read it can have uncomfortable side effects & I had a panic attack today which doesn't seem like a coincidence. It was awful. And, I'M LOSING WEIGHT!!!
Jen B
19 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Spacekitten V
19 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Jeff M
20 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

sonny S
20 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Natalie C
22 Nov 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

paul M
22 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Alicia B
24 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Manda P
16 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
Wasn't going to be able to get the new med until Tues, but it actually got here today! I took the 50mg after already taking 40mg. Haven't had anything to eat today. Hungry, but waiting on dinner.
Manda P
16 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
16 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

BF built me a new computer today & the treadmill has been ordered!!

Westvord S
16 Nov 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
17 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Ian D
17 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

paul M
17 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Alicia B
17 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
17 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Sounds like a good day :)

Jeff M
18 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

I hope the meds help! And the treadmill too! I use mine a lot. I hate it...treadmill is 50x harder than exercising outside. But in the cold of winter, it's a necessary evil for me!

Manda P
18 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Pandas. Jeff, why is it harder than exercising outside?

Jeff M
19 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Mentally, it's way harder. Seems to go on forever, and way too easy to stop. If 2 miles from your house, you have to get home. If tired on treadmill at 2 miles, you can easily stop. It's the mental thing, I think. But I use mine all the time!

Manda P
19 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

I see. All I know is I'm gonna start out slow. Haven't done much of any physical activity (besides yoga) since I was in high school.

nixiblu .
19 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Jeff M
20 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Yes, put it on a good walking pace. Somewhere near 4-miles/hour (15-min/mile). That's a brisk walk. Anything to get the heart pumping! And do like 10 mins fast, then an easy walk for long enough to watch a show. Build up! You'll see results quickly!

Manda P
20 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks for the tips, Jeff! I am super excited to start this!

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Manda P
15 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
Saw psychiatrist. Upping Vyvanse putting me at 50mg. Max dose is 70mg. Sleeping thru the night most days & drinking a ***-ton of water. Going to try & set a bedtime/wake up time & yoga every morning.
Tayla O
15 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Annika M
15 Nov 2019 · NEW

*Hugs*

Wendy R
15 Nov 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
16 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

paul M
16 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

tEnT S
16 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Alicia B
17 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
17 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Good luck with your routine, I know it's very important.

Manda P
18 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia! Routines really are super important for Bipolar peeps. My therapist thinks I'm already on a pretty good schedule. Might not torture myself to wake up at 7AM. Maybe I'll feel different if I can get up & start my day with exercise.

nixiblu .
19 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
07 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
Started vaping again. I gotta remember how just a few days off made me feel so much better. Mom is sending a check to us for Christmas. Will miss the surprise of gifts. BF ordered my computer parts.
Daisy O
07 Nov 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
08 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

John T
08 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
10 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

tEnT S
16 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 Nov 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
02 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
All I want to do is play WoW but my computer is so screwed up. BF is researching building a new one. Gotta wait on Black Friday deals. Haven't vaped in 3 days & have been sleeping thru the night. Yay!
Robin R
02 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Tebby B
02 Nov 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
02 Nov 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Alicia B
03 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
03 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Good news all around! Wonderful :)

Manda P
03 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia! Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

paul M
03 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

paul M
03 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

Yay! :)

Bipolar Bear .
03 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Jeff M
04 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

tEnT S
16 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
01 Nov 2019 · LEGEND
Waiting for the mail to be delivered. Increased Vyvanse dose is supposed to be here. Can't wait to take it. My computer is f*cked & it's basically unusable. BF might end up building me a new one.
paul M
01 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

John T
01 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Natalie C
02 Nov 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
30 Oct 2019 · LEGEND
Still no med so I called. Glad I did because it was overlooked & no one knew it didn't get sent out. Now I have to wait till Friday. 😑 Bingeing during the day the moment they went back to school.
nixiblu .
31 Oct 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Jeff M
31 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
31 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Sorry, Manda! You'll get through until Friday. Try not to feel too guilty about binging...sometimes it brings some needed comfort.

Manda P
01 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Pandas. Med should be here any minute. I'm laying off the pot to get this appetite under control. Sorry you made yourself ill, KT. I know the feeling.

paul M
01 Nov 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Natalie C
31 Oct 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Alicia B
30 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
30 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Oh, that's just beyond sucky! Ugh. So many screw-ups when it comes to mental health, unbelievable!

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

I caved last night and ate a good deal of chocolate (and crisps -you probably call them 'chips' - and Pringles and soft drinks). I am allergic to cocoa and milk. I felt I'll after. Then follows shame

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

I had been doing well avoiding the chocolate for a good while. . . I guess I made the excuse to myself that I could fall off the wagon once or twice and that it was unrealistic not to. . . So I empathise. Don't be too hard on yourself. Xxx

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

I haven't been on too much lately so I haven't seen your latest posts . . .I hope you get your meds sorted. It can be so frustrating when the health system fails you!!

Bipolar Bear .
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Robin R
30 Oct 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Manda P
28 Oct 2019 · LEGEND
10mg Vyvanse increase. Hope it helps. Gotta be awake when it's delivered bcuz it needs a signature since it's a controlled substance. Worth it though. I have started my first Stephen King novel!
Billy J
28 Oct 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
28 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
28 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

I've been thinking that I should at least read one book by King in my lifetime... But kind of can't bring myself to start. Do you like it?

Robert H
29 Oct 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Ian D
29 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

Which one have chosen?

Ian D
29 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Jeff M
29 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
29 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

The Stand is one of my favorite King books...really one of my favorite books at all. Which one are you reading?

Natalie C
29 Oct 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
29 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

I went with Pet Semetary on the recommendation of the phlebotomists I see. So far so good, but I'm not very far in. I hope I like it because he has so many famous novels.

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

Enjoy the novel Manda Panda!! Xx

Bipolar Bear .
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

Pet Semetary is a good book :) hope you enjoy!

Manda P
01 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Pandas! πŸ’š

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
27 Oct 2019 · LEGEND
Last day of Fall Break. Vyvanse isn't doing much. I'm going to call tomorrow & see if I can get an increase. Maybe a *little* lessening appetite. Also zoned in on my video game so maybe it is helping?
Jen B
27 Oct 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Natalie C
27 Oct 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Jeff M
28 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! ❀️

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

Good to have a distraction. 😁

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
19 Oct 2019 · LEGEND
Slept till noon. Still tired. Saw psych yesterday & came away with a prescription for Vyvanse. It's a stimulant. I asked for it. It's used for Binge Eating Disorder. School's Fall Break has started.
nixiblu .
19 Oct 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 Oct 2019 · HERO

How does it work Manda? Hope you are doing well. Xx

Manda P
19 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, nixi! I get my meds delivered in the mail so I haven't been able to try it yet. Hope you are having a good weekend! πŸ’™

Shelley H
20 Oct 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

paul M
20 Oct 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Alicia B
20 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
20 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

New meds buddy :)))) Hope it works well! Can't wait to find out.

Manda P
20 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Alicia! Same here! πŸ’–

Ian D
20 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND
I finally had to tell BF about the ED Hell. Not EVERYTHING. God, no. I said I had β€œso much going on” but he said it's only 1 thing... weight/body/food. Over 20 years in this nightmare. 1st disorder.
Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

I weigh between 150-155lbs. Puke. (I don't, but used to. Will never go back there.) Crazily enough, my small Patagonia winter coat fits, & zips!, so I'm thankful for that. I guess the weight is spread out or something? I only crossed 150...

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

...within the past couple of weeks. Therapist says she thinks I'm lonely. Gee? You think? BF says he is with me as much as possible yet it still doesn't feel like enough. I'm out of the episode. Yay!! I win & yet here I cry. Felt soooo sick when I...

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

...when I woke up. Headache since yesterday, upset tummy, nauseated. Vaped, so ok for now. Daughter's first Jr High School Play today. 2 performances. $5 to get in so we are only going to the late show. BF's dad will be there. I don't want to miss...

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

...this. No fever. Sipped OJ that I probably shouldn't have bought. We don't really drink caloric beverages unless you're me. Well, a coffee or tea every now & then. I'm in bed with the mattress cover heater in & I think I'll stay here.

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Hugged myself. Lame..

Jeff M
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Not lame to hug yourself. Self-love is important. You have to love yourself how you are, even while you strive to be healthy (physically and mentally). You're a strong panda, Manda! You can do this...

Jeff M
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Also, I wish you could find an outlet during the day to be around people. I know it's not easy. Volunteering, a yoga class, something so you're less lonely. Easy to say, I know...

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, Jeff. I really do need to come up with something to get me out of the house. My sister has been pushing the volunteer idea for a long time. Will definitely ask my therapist for help with ideas.

nixiblu .
17 Oct 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
17 Oct 2019 · HERO

Hugging yourself is great. A step towards liking, ( or dare I say loving) yourself

nixiblu .
17 Oct 2019 · HERO

Also glad for you fitting into the coat. Go you!

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, nixi! πŸ’™ My thoughts are so f*cking distorted. I thought there was NO WAY I'd even be able to get it on.

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Oh, I guess I might like myself ok sometimes. On a good day.

paul M
18 Oct 2019 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

paul M
18 Oct 2019 · 1+ YEAR

Planning small tasks, that sometimes helps to fix distorted thoughts. Also, now I crave OJ :) haven't had it for years.

Manda P
19 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks, paul. I hadn't had OJ in forever, too. Get some!

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

I find starting small with even just a trip to a cafΓ© can help to get out of the house. It's human interaction, you can choose to order to takeaway or to drink your coffee in. You can choose to stay and write and read a magazine or to leave as soon

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

as you have drank your beverage . . . But ultimately, take home point - you are in control of how long the interaction lasts for. I have found it made a difference for me in the past. And maybe it could be an easier/less daunting first step than

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

volunteering/a regular commitment where you might feel guilty for pulling out of or embarrassed or overwhelmed. . . I guess it depends on how much anxiety the social interaction invokes!!

Manda P
01 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks so much, KT! I never thought how the time spent is up to me. That does make things easier.

K T
05 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

Glad it helped in some small way at least! πŸ™‚ Did you try anything yet? πŸ™‚

Manda P
07 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Not yet. I'm going to have my therapist help me come up with some ideas.

nixiblu .
07 Nov 2019 · HERO

Even on days you don't like yourself so much. Remember, we like you. And we are cheering for you

nixiblu .
07 Nov 2019 · HERO

Ps

nixiblu .
07 Nov 2019 · HERO

Ps. Give me wine over soda or juice. Lol

Manda P
08 Nov 2019 · LEGEND

Thank you, sweet nixi! πŸ’™

nixiblu .
08 Nov 2019 · HERO

Manda. We love you.xx

K T
09 Nov 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
4 Manda P
04 Oct 2019 · LEGEND
SO TIRED! Snuck in a 45 min nap while waiting to leave for therapy. Just want to get back home so I can sleep again. In ED hell. I want to die. I don't think I'll be able to fit into my winter coat. οΏ½
Ellie R
04 Oct 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
04 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
04 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Big hugs, Manda - so sorry to hear this. Hope therapy session helps you. Thinking of you xx

John T
04 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
04 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thank you, Albertine. My session helped but boy is there a long way to go! xx Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Jeff M
05 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
05 Oct 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
11 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Natalie C
14 Oct 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Oct 2019 · LEGEND

Thank you, my dearest friends. πŸ’š

K T
31 Oct 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community