I had a big cancer scare but everything came back ok. It made me look at life differently. I'm so thankful for BF, daughter, my family, & his family. I feel like I'm finally letting go of my abusive ex. BF told me how worried he was about my health & it was a reminder that he does love me & doesn't want to leave me. 2 couples that we had went to their weddings are already divorced. At peace!

Relief! Great to know you're well. Reflecting on our mortality can give clarity & perspective. Reassuring to know you're in a loving relationship with someone who cares.

03 Jul 2021

I'm glad you are clear

06 Jul 2021
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I feel so depressed. I lowered my Luvox a couple weeks ago, but only 25mg. I think it's just that this back sh*t is wearing me down. Waiting to hear from a surgeon. No vacation again this summer. Sad.

I think it might be from the pain too, I'm having a problem like that too. I hope you feel better soon, think of you every day.

18 May 2021

Aw, little Manda! Sending you big hugs and lots of love.

19 May 2021
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Therapy today. Got a call during it to schedule another epidural steroid injection in addition to the two I had a week ago. She said the pain doc is gonna refer me to a surgeon for a discectomy.

Oh no, surgery is always so scary! But it should help. I even enjoy them kind of, because they make me forget about all my emotional instability. I'm weird. Hope it goes perfect!

28 Apr 2021

Whatever the decision, hope it works out for the best.

28 Apr 2021

Thank you, Pandas! The injection was easy peasy this time, but they did give me a Valium. πŸ˜†

28 Apr 2021
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Today is BF's 44th birthday. We aren't doing anything special. It's been exactly one year since we ate in a restaurant. We're ordering pizza tonight. Pretty happy about how a money issue turned out.

Hey, Manda. Welcome back. Thanks for the update. Happy birthday, bf.

27 Feb 2021

Pizza and time together is special ☺️

28 Feb 2021

Great to have you back 😌

28 Apr 2021

β€οΈπŸ’šπŸ’œπŸ§‘πŸ–€πŸ’›πŸ€πŸ€ŽπŸ’™

28 Apr 2021
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I've royally screwed my back. Initially hurt it ~5 years ago. Occasionally it would flare up for a few days. After trudging through a foot of snow up & down the lane everyday, it caught up & OMG...

...it hurts SO F*CKING BAD! My Nurse Sis had me take 800mg (double the instructed dose) of ibuprofen & it didn't help a single bit. She was shocked & said I have to call the doctor on Monday. She said I need an X-ray/imaging to see what's going on.

20 Feb 2021

I was used to the pain occasionally because it only hurt to do certain things. Now EVERYTHING hurts. Just sitting here, I'm dying.

20 Feb 2021

Oh Manda. I hope the pain eases quickly

20 Feb 2021

Ouch. Back pain can be temporarily debilitating. Hope you find relief soon.

20 Feb 2021

Welcome back btw. Unintentional pun. We missed you.

20 Feb 2021

Aw! Thanks, Love & Pandas. I saw the doctor & she just told me to take ibuprofen twice a day. Today is the first day it's felt a bit better. My therapist recommended a chiropractor. I've never been to one. Thinking about it.

27 Feb 2021
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I hate myself because I can't stop eating. The reduced Clozapine didn't help my appetite decrease or make me feel less tired. I talk to my psychiatrist on Monday. Interested in what he says.
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So nice to have a $17 increase on my Disability check. I can write BF a large check for help with bills & still have $30 to myself every month. I can get so many thrift store books with it! Happy NYE!
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Today is daughter's 14th birthday. I can hardly believe it. She's growing right on up. We let her have 1 friend over. They are video gaming right now. I'll pick up pizza later. She picked out a cake.

Happy birthday to your daughter!! πŸŽ‰

29 Dec 2020

Thanks, mik! Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. ❀️

30 Dec 2020
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So tired & hungry all the time. I hate it. I'm hoping with BF & daughter home on break that I lose some weight. Struggling with it so much. Excited for Christmas. I hope everyone likes their gifts.

I too am struggling with weight. I realised I gained even more weight since I last weighed myself. I thought that by not weighing myself, I was protecting myself from a trigger for emotional distress but maybe I have just been hiding from the truth?!

23 Dec 2020

My joints have been hurting. I can hardly stay standing too long or walking too long without my back hurting. I have never been like this before. It is difficult to get my head around and I can't see myself losing all the weight.

23 Dec 2020

So I can relate to how you feel. Stay strong, Manda. Christmas can have so many expectations for being picture perfect happy families etc., when often there is so much unresolved tension, sometimes even trauma,so much temptation to eat so much crap,

23 Dec 2020

missing loved ones who have passed away etc. etc. Take it easy on yourself and start small. It is such a difficult time to start a diet or to try losing weight because we are surrounded with even more temptation than usual! XxX

23 Dec 2020

It is lovely that you are looking forward to Christmas and the joy of exchanging gifts though, that's great! Have a good Christmas and don't be too hard on yourself about the weight right now! Xx

23 Dec 2020

Thanks so much, KT. It's nice to have someone that understands. It's awful to have struggles with something like eating. Everyone has to do it, it just doesn't go easy for so

29 Dec 2020

...so

29 Dec 2020

...some. We're in it together! ❀️ Thanks for the hugs, Pandas!

29 Dec 2020

Definitely in it together! Here's to better things in 2021!! ❀️β™₯️❀️

01 Jan 2021
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Slept past alarm. Daughter keeps doing it too. It's driving BF crazy. Only got yoga done before they came home. Made my final Christmas order. So excited! BF decided I could keep back over $30 to...

...spend on what I want. Usually just drink, food, candy, or Goodwill books when I'm out. Feels good to have a softer pad. Therapist did say I needed more financial freedom.

03 Dec 2020

I'll have an increase on my Social Security Disability check next year. Not much, but it'll be a big difference. I'm so thankful for my government's assistance!

03 Dec 2020

I overslept and forgot about an occupational therapy phone appointment today. 😬 These winter days and new routine being in family home for Xmas!!

23 Dec 2020
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Didn't get up at 10AM & BF seemed disappointed but I did yoga, treadmill, & shower all before they got home. I'll take it as a win. Another present to wrap & ordering more on Thursday. So excited!

I'd take it as a win, too.

02 Dec 2020

Well you did an amazing job!

02 Dec 2020

Sounds like a win to me. Go you. Xxxx

02 Dec 2020

Thank you, my lovely Pandas! πŸ’š

03 Dec 2020

Wow, well-done, Manda! You are doing so well with your exercising! I am really struggling to motivate myself to start because I am having joint pain and I am scared of enduring pain or of making something worse than it already is!!

23 Dec 2020

I've been majorly slacking with my yoga & treadmill. It's so upsetting. I just gotta make myself do it!

29 Dec 2020

Still, it's better than nothing which is pretty much where I am at. No-one is perfect all the time! Don't be too hard in yourself, Manda! You've done it before and you can pick it back up again! 😘

01 Jan 2021
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Therapy & psychiatrist today. He's finally raising my Vyvanse! It'll be a week until I get it. Really hope it helps. New routine: alarm set for 10AM EVERYDAY. Breakfast, yoga, treadmill, shower.

I hope you feel better soon

01 Dec 2020

those are positive morning routines.

01 Dec 2020

Thanks, Pandas. πŸ’š

01 Dec 2020
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Tree is up, undecorated (is that a word?) because of course Pog climbs it. Doesn't knock it over though so that's good. He gets lots of water squirts. BF & daughter have a 2 day week of school.

funny. I can picture the cat climbing it... and getting squirted.

23 Nov 2020

Thank you Manda for the image. It made me smile. I'm so happy that you and pog are enjo6each others company. I should think about getting a tree

25 Nov 2020

Thanks, nixi! πŸ’™ I sure am thankful for him. He makes me so happy. Well, he gets into a lot of trouble by still being kitten-ish & I've snapped a couple of times. I always feel bad after I do it.

30 Nov 2020

It is a funny sight, Love! Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

30 Nov 2020
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Still no Xmas tree up yet. I joked, but was serious, that I'll put it up myself. I'll do it the next time I get up. Although, realized my back pain started on Nov 11. It should've gone away by...

...now. Luckily, I found copies of the exercises I'm supposed to do for it from when I hurt it initially. Starting them tonight! Covid test was negative. πŸ‘

19 Nov 2020
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BF & daughter staying home the rest of the week. Still waiting on Covid results. I think we're feeling better though. It'll just be a lot of coincidences if it's not Covid. Christmas tree tomorrow!
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Where the hell have I been?! My back pain has been acting up so I've been off the treadmill. All 3 of us have felt ill so we got Covid tests this morning. I did all the grocery shopping so we're set.

Not going to any family Thanksgivings. We are gonna do our own. Mom said to start a new tradition. I'm so excited for Christmas. Can't wait to give my gifts! We are gonna put the tree up soon. Stopped in Goodwill today & came home with 9 books for...

17 Nov 2020

...under $10. It makes me happy! New Hearthstone expansion so that'll keep me busy too. I guess a 4 because i don't physically feel well.

17 Nov 2020

Hope you and the fam recover quickly from whatever is ailing you. In the meantime, you've got some good books and plenty to look forward to.

18 Nov 2020

Hope you're all feeling better ❀️

18 Nov 2020

Get well soon!

18 Nov 2020

Thank you, sweet Pandas. πŸ’œ

18 Nov 2020
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Scrubbed the tubs. It's my most hated chore. They're stained. At least I know they're clean. Beautiful day. Sis is going to get an Apple Watch. Looking forward to competing with closing our rings!

it's out if the way now. yay!

10 Nov 2020

Oooh good old sibling rivalry! Just kidding, I know you two love each other to bits. :)

10 Nov 2020

I'm ready to kick her ass! 🀣

11 Nov 2020
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Had a voice chat with our awesome Pandas, John T & Alicia B. It was so nice to talk with them! I can't wait to add more of you guys to our group. Just ask & someone will add ya. Yay for Panda love!

OH MY GOSH!

08 Nov 2020

I'd love to join some time

08 Nov 2020

John! πŸ˜‚ We'd love to have you, Albertine. You were my first thought when John asked for any Pandas to add.

08 Nov 2020

Bless:) Hope I can live up to that!

08 Nov 2020

Yeeees, Albertine, find me on insta and I'll add you, I'm abstracttherapy

10 Nov 2020
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BIDEN WINS!!!!!!! πŸ₯³ πŸŽ‰ What a day to remember. Definitely shed some tears when it was announced. Gave the car a good cleaning. It's gorgeous out. Might do yard work tomorrow.
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So ready for the election to be called. I gave myself $175 out of my disability check to spend on Christmas gifts this month & will next month. Spent $150 today. I am so excited to give gifts!

What did you buy?

07 Nov 2020

I bought a nice hardcover book about the history of the world map by map because BF is a big history & map fan. I also got him a set of PlayStation coasters, a clock that has math problems as the numbers for him to hang in his classroom, & a Funko...

07 Nov 2020

...Pop from one of his favorite video games. I got daughter a cool notepad & a great tumbler cup for my Sis that thanks her for being my sis & that if I had a different one I'd punch her in the face & come find her. πŸ˜‚

07 Nov 2020
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