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Big weak moment yday resetting a longish nice spell. Will I ever manage to stick it? Just pretending everything is normal.

Just keep going and try not to be too hard on yourself... :) Everyone has weak moments...

22 Dec 2014

You will manage - you're really strong and you really want to do this, for yourself and your family. Tuxi's right - we all have bad moments

22 Dec 2014

and we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves (as I know only too well). Hope things improve, David - big, strengthening hugs.

22 Dec 2014

Thanx Juno, Tuxi :), Anna, Cindy :), Kat, & Amanda. I just wish a I was a better person ...

22 Dec 2014

Thanx desdmonia & Tasha

23 Dec 2014
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Took 2h off work and went for a run in the forest on this rare sunny day :) Now some catching up ....

Sounds gd

09 Dec 2014

sounds lovely

09 Dec 2014

AWESOME! :D

09 Dec 2014

Thanks dear Pandas :)

09 Dec 2014
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Celebrated my birthday today (even if it's actually on Monday). Mixed feelings, though mostly positive. The usual mood swings, some irritability but also some nice time with the kids :)

Happy birthday, David! I hope you'll have a great day tomorrow :).

07 Dec 2014

Aww. Happy birthday 2u, happy birthday 2u, happee birthdaay 2 David, happy birthhhhday 2 uuuuu! Hip hip hoaray! :) I cnt sing btw but hv a gr8 time!

07 Dec 2014

Happy birthday tomorrow! Hope you'll enjoy it! I'd bake you a cake, but you're in the wrong part of the country to receive it! Big hugs

07 Dec 2014

Big big birthday hugs, enjoy happy moments with yr family n friends.!

07 Dec 2014

Happy Birthday, David! Enjoy your special day!

07 Dec 2014

Happy birthday for tomorrow :) x

08 Dec 2014

happy birthday David! So glad you had a good day with your family. Hope your 'real' birthday is wonderful too. x

08 Dec 2014

Hallo David. Have a very happy birthday!

08 Dec 2014

Thanks Anna :), Anonmous :), Juno :), Amanda :), Tasha :), Cindy :), and Almut :) Big hugs back!

08 Dec 2014

Happy Birthday David, Hugs

08 Dec 2014

Thanks H :)

08 Dec 2014
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Still going strong :) Uncertainty about work next year is holding me back, but still much better than lately. Sorry fellow pandas if I haven't been very active here lately. Thinking of you ..

just glad you're doing so well, David - when I haven't seen you on MP hoped it was because things were going well for you

03 Dec 2014

glad that that seems to be the case - it's nice of you to share the good too, tho I'm envious! Big hugs

03 Dec 2014

Thanks Anna, Tankgirlbex Cindy :)), Juno, Kittycat, paulina, desdmonia, and H. Warm hugs back :)

04 Dec 2014

sounds great. keep going strong

04 Dec 2014

Thanks Esther :)

04 Dec 2014

... and Tuxi.

04 Dec 2014

Thanx Tasha

04 Dec 2014

Big hugs, happy tht yr going strong. Thinking of u2 n wishing u well fellow panda x

06 Dec 2014

Thanks Amanda & Anonmous :)

07 Dec 2014
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Feeling quite good, except for the continued unproductivity at work. Nice week with the kids ahead. Much better climate with SO.

yay! what are you going to do with the kids?

01 Dec 2014

That's true :) enjoy them!

02 Dec 2014

Such good news, David - I'm sure productivity at work will come. Have a good time with your kids and SO...

01 Dec 2014

Glad you're feeling better :) Enjoy the time with the kids! Hopefully work improves soon as well :)

01 Dec 2014

Thanks Juno :), Danny, eusebius, Cindy :), and Sierra. Big hugs back

01 Dec 2014

Thanks Esther, Tasha, Anna, Amanda & desdmonia. :)

01 Dec 2014

Esther, probably nothing exceptional, but just having them around is a big comfort. We'll probably go climbing a couple of times :)

01 Dec 2014
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Just low. Always dreaded confrontation and will probably always do. Would just like to be left alone sometimes (or most of the times?)

So sorry you're feeling low, David - I certainly relate to your feelings (I'd like to be left alone *most* of the time. I'd wondered how you were doing, as I hadn't seen you post.

29 Nov 2014

Hope your low passes quickly - big, comforting hugs for you.

29 Nov 2014

Thanks all for the hugs and Cindy for the kind words. Big hugs back

29 Nov 2014

Hope you feel better soon x

29 Nov 2014

Thanks Anna and Tasha :) ... Feeling better now

29 Nov 2014
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Had a mostly positive weekend. Nothing exceptional but some nice moments. Need to make something out of this new week.
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Tasha got me thinking ... We are animals blessed and cursed with powers we cannot understand or really control. We are pointless, horrible, and magnificent beings, ...

... speeding and crawling through lives mostly on autopilot, with moments of purpose, chaos, despair, and enthusiasm.

22 Nov 2014

Hmm thts deep. Thank u 4sharing. Big hugs x

22 Nov 2014

We are selfish compassionate bastards, kept upright by the tension between curiosity and cowardice, lust and duty, pride and shame.

22 Nov 2014

I like tht last bit it really hits d nail on d head.

22 Nov 2014

Thnx Anonmous, ... a bit of a late night philosophical release that was. Big hugs.

22 Nov 2014

That was really deep, I guess sometimes these feelings are all just a part of life and of being human.

22 Nov 2014

Yes Tasha, even though most of the times we just try to cruise along just to realise we haven't the faintest idea of where we are going. Hugs

22 Nov 2014

Bit early in the morning for thinking metaphysical thoughts, but the ideas you express about paradoxes and tensions seem to be part of what is suggested by the picture.

23 Nov 2014

I've been studying that picture a lot since you posted it, and your words are definitely illuminiating the picture for me, and vice versa.

23 Nov 2014

You're right Cindy. I realise now the two posts are very much, though unintentionally, related

23 Nov 2014
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'Charade' http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/fa/e9/d2/fae9d223dd4401d5f8e27d2da009cd4c.jpg

Kind of how I'm feeling most of the time if I really stop to think about it.

21 Nov 2014

Big hugs back pandas

21 Nov 2014
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Meeting went well. I went for the 'full disclosure' / 'coming clean' version. Feels good, even though there is still a lot of work to do. Still trying to get fully over having been dragged into this.

really glad everything went well

20 Nov 2014

So pleased for you, David - especially when it sounds like you'd been put in an invidious position. You're doing so well - big hugs

20 Nov 2014

Thanks Alex Cindy and H :)

20 Nov 2014

Thanks Amanda and Pat :)

20 Nov 2014

Thanks Anna :)

21 Nov 2014
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Feeling anxious about tomorrow's meeting. Not sure whether I should bother to go into details and waste taxpayers money or just get it over with as quickly as possible.

Most of all I need to put this behind, and work on implementing changes that will support me and my loved ones in the long run.

19 Nov 2014

That's such a nice way of defining your goal. Hope the meeting goes okay tomorrow.

19 Nov 2014

Go into details :-)

19 Nov 2014

I hope the meeting goes well.... If you think going into details is likely to result in a better outcome, it may be worth it...

19 Nov 2014

I hope it goes well...deep breaths.

19 Nov 2014

Thanks you all for the support! Tasha, Anonmous :), Anna, Tuxi :), Amanda, Pat, HF, Cindy :), and Alexandra, ... you make my day better

19 Nov 2014

Late thanks for Pat, Esther, and desdmonia :)

20 Nov 2014
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Feeling more positive today, even if I didn't sleep too well. Home situation slowly improving. Great Panda support. Thank you guys.

Glad you're feeling more positive :)

18 Nov 2014

What a positive post, David - really happy for you. Hope it continues to go well

18 Nov 2014

Thank you Tasha, Juno :), Chloƫ, Vanessa, Cindy :), Anna, Tuxi, and Amanda. Still feeling reasonably good.

18 Nov 2014

Thanks desdemonia

19 Nov 2014
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Mixed feelings. I see I'm relapsing & convincing myself it's OK (not!). Slippery slopes. Headache. Looking forward 2 climbing after work. Looking forward 2 having kids home for (most of) the week.

So sorry, David - hope the climbing and being with your kids helps. Look after yourself; thinking of you. Big hugs

17 Nov 2014

Thanks Cindy, Juno, and Becca. Big hugs back

17 Nov 2014

We're here 4U!Wen U clim & see kids,MayB suk up dose Luvly feelins &use dem 2slow Ur slide!Big Hugs!

17 Nov 2014

Take care! I hope you'll enjoy the time with your kids. :)

17 Nov 2014

Debi gives good advice. Enjoy those moments even more than one may normally & use them to carry you thru the rough times.

17 Nov 2014

Thank you all for the support! You're absolutely right Debi. Big hugs back Debi, Tuxi, Amanda and Anonmous,

17 Nov 2014

... and Pat :)

17 Nov 2014

Thank Tashs :))

18 Nov 2014
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The day just started and I'm already feeling exhausted. Head's heavy, motivation is non existent, news at work not good by any means. Better than lately at home though.
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4h of manual work on the house kept me busy for a while. Mood was dipping fast after that but picked up again a bit now that I'm with my Pandas :)

Returning your big hugs - hope your mood continues to pick up.

15 Nov 2014

Keeping busy always helps me feel better tho it's hard to find motivation. Mood can quickly turn sour when I stop tho. Glad MP lifts you up. It does me too!

15 Nov 2014

Thanks Cindy, Esther, Andrea, Amanda, Pat, and Kat. I'm up to at least a 5 thanks to you :)

15 Nov 2014

Thanks Tasha. Hugs back

15 Nov 2014

Thanks Anna :)

15 Nov 2014

Thanks Anon, Pat, and HF

16 Nov 2014
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Recently added Karl Jenkin's to my Stabat Mater collection and I'm loving it :)

I don't know that recording - sounds like I ought to look it up...

14 Nov 2014
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'You promised me a Symphony' http://aegis-strife.net/illustration/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/You-promised-me-a-Symphony-by-Mario-S%C3%A1nchez-Nevado.jpg
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That emptying anguishing feeling when things are not any more just fears or thoughts in your mind but are actually happening,, ... when a machine gets in motion which on which you have little control.

So sorry, David - lots of hugs! If it would help to talk, let me know. Take care.

13 Nov 2014

Sory that Ur in such pain &feelin so lost,David!!!Is dere Sumthing U can do 2distract self &Shut up Yr hed?Hugs!

13 Nov 2014

Thanks Debi, Anna, Tasha, and Cindy. Much better now after a couple of hours. But as I said, Debi, it's not just the head, its hard facts that I have to deal with. I'm sure I'll cope, ... somehow

13 Nov 2014
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Travelling for work 2day. A bit of a change could do me good.

Thanks guys!

13 Nov 2014

Sounds good... Hope you had a good day! :)

13 Nov 2014

Thanks Tuxi and Esther. The day was good. The return home not quite. Got something in the mail that made me cry

13 Nov 2014
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