I haven't self-harmed for a few weeks now but something this evening has thrown me so much I'm really struggling with urges. It has been hard to control them and this has shown me how fragile I am

I feel like I should be able to cope with 'normal' problems like this without feeling the need to hurt myself

14 May 2015

I've been there before. I don't know what exactly caused my urges but I know making myself be around people made it where I couldn't go through with the urge because someone would see.

15 May 2015

Thanks everyone. I managed to control the urges so I'm pretty proud of that. Still feeling quite vulnerable today but I'm doing what you suggested Stacy and making sure I'm around people

15 May 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Given in and decided to go home to my parents' house for a few days to get some much needed tlc. Being in bed sick is bad for my pain and my mood so I need some support.

oops meant to comment! My friends and boyfriend would look after me but they have work and he has his dissertation due/ exams to revise for so I'd feel bad taking too much of their time

04 May 2015

I hope you'll get better, soon!

04 May 2015

Sounds like a really good decision - hope it helps, Kate.

04 May 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Still feeling unwell today. Trying to rest up, sleep seems to be the only thing that really helps

Hope it helps Kate x

04 May 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Help MoodPanda - become a MoodPanda Patron

MoodPanda is here to help people.

We don't use adverts, and our community is free to join

Becoming a patron is a way to gift us with your support, to help us do what we do, and to help MoodPanda be here for others

Thank you for being a part of our community.

Not feeling (physically) 100% today but had a good evening at the theatre yesterday and walked into town to see a friend this morning which was good for my mood. Have a good bank holiday pandas!
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Better today I think. Making plans so I have some reasons to make myself get out of bed over the next couple of days. I know staying in bed is bad for my mood but it's all I want to do! Must resist!

best of luck Kate - I know that feeling only too well! Sounds positive tho x

02 May 2015

Congrats for trying, Kate. That's the first step. Hope whatever plans you make, you have fun. x

02 May 2015

Thanks everyone :) I went to the theatre and I spent time with a friend this morning

03 May 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
I'm ok. Repeating that until I believe it (hopefully)
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Was able to volunteer for quite a long time today. Hasn't boosted my mood as it sometimes does but I'm fine.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Today improved as it went on, which I really didn't expect. Hoping for a good night's sleep. Hope you pandas had good days
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Much better than earlier. Going to try and keep this feeling going tomorrow
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Felt kind of on top of things earlier and then all my plans crumbled. I know things come up and people have to cancel etc but I feel really shaken

Sounds rubbish Kate. I hope you feel better soon, try not to let it ruin your day (easier said than done, I know) & maybe make some new plans if you feel up to it? It could be something as simple as reading a book in the sun? Big big hugs.

27 Apr 2015

Thanks Jodie! Yes I think I'll try to fill the time. It's not just today but I guess I'll take one day at a time

27 Apr 2015

I often have the same reaction. Sorry your plans was cancelled!

27 Apr 2015

Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the support! Thank you pandas. Big hugs!

27 Apr 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
So proud I managed to read a book today. Feel so childish saying that but my concentration has been so badly affected by my meds that I have hardly read over the last year

I've been there so I know exactly what you mean- and how great it is to properly read after so long

26 Apr 2015

That's great, makes me feel inspired to try and read again after a long time

26 Apr 2015

I love reading :)

26 Apr 2015

Thank you for all the support! Willy I hope you do, even if it's only a chapter! Whatever feels manageable and fun. I stopped putting pressure on myself to read 'good' literature and just chose something fun!

27 Apr 2015

I was the same, I have always loved reading but since I've been ill my concentration has been so bad. I missed reading so much but recently I've been able to do it again and I'm so grateful

27 Apr 2015

I'm so glad you've been able to read again :)

27 Apr 2015

Yes Kate that's key, I was reading this Rushdie

27 Apr 2015

novel that was making me really depressed, I need to pick up something more fun ans positive, what are you reading Kate?

27 Apr 2015

I have the exact same problem! It's GREAT you read some! So hard to get past that barrier. Good job!!

27 Apr 2015

Anybody here on Goodreads? https://www.goodreads.com/

27 Apr 2015

Daisy - I'm so glad you've managed to start reading too :) willy - I read a book in a series I like by Simon Brett. It's a sort of detective story but very light (not violent or anything).

27 Apr 2015

Cat: it's always good to know I'm not alone but I'm sorry you've had the same problems! Hope you can read a bit soon. Thank you for the link Audrey, I'll check it out!

27 Apr 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Sorry I've been away Pandas! Things have been busy and confusing. I've been a bit 'head in the sand' about how I've been feeling. Hope you're all doing ok
Once logged in you can be part of the community
I have individual and group therapies today. Usually they feel like safe places but with the recent problems with other therapists I really don't feel like opening up. Just want to go back to bed :(
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Feeling positive. It's been a good weekend without my usual dip. Considering last week, I'm feeling ok. Love my friends and my boyfriend - they've really supported me the last few days

That is so great - glad you have such good support

19 Apr 2015

Yes Cindy I'm very lucky :)

20 Apr 2015

i'm glad to hear you didn't have that weekend dip :)

20 Apr 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Had a pretty good weekend. Reconnected with a friend, spent time with my boyfriend and worked on my blog. Hope you pandas are ok
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Feeling much better after talking things through with my boyfriend and friends. Never going back to see that 'therapist' again! Seeing a friend today for the first time in a while -hope we reconnect
Once logged in you can be part of the community
So upset with how people who are paid to take medical care of me are treating me- sending me away from therapy sobbing uncontrollably so all I can do is sit on the pavement is NOT ok

Oh Kate that's awful. sending you super big hugs.

16 Apr 2015

They really can be so awful sometimes, it's seems that a lot of them lack the empathy & kindness required for their roles.

16 Apr 2015

So sorry, Kate. That sounds horrible. :( you should find someone kind and understanding. These people sound incompetent. Praying for you. x

16 Apr 2015

That's ridiculous!!

16 Apr 2015

That is so wrong, Kate - comforting hugs. x

16 Apr 2015

Thank you pandas :) I feel a bit better

16 Apr 2015
Once logged in you can be part of the community
About to see my individual therapist. Really scared for group therapy this afternoon after what happened last week. Determined to make myself go
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Back in London for this week's set of appointments. Feel bad I didn't see my boyfriend this weekend but I needed to see my grandad before his op. Feeling quite good for this week & ...
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Quite painful and tired today but resting now and going out for dinner later
Once logged in you can be part of the community