Today is my sisters wedding. Haven't slept much the last few days. My house is still not organised and Monday I have to go back to work. Feel like I need vacation, just doing nothing.
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Thinking about my ex a lot today. Just deactivated my IG again because of him. Wish I could remove him and all the memories from my mind!
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My last night at my parent place. I'm gonna miss it here. Miss the dog and my room ๐Ÿ˜• think I'm a bit anxious.

I can understand, it's hard leaving our comfort zone. I wish you luck on your future..

6 days ago
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Exhausted. Primed the kitchen and living room walls today, so so tired. Tomorrow I have to put on coat 1 white and the day after coat 2 white. Didn't like how my sis was acting towards her kids today. I don't know her like that. I know she's verry stressed but I really don't like to see that. Struggling with it.

Sorry to hear about the stress of your sister and having kids.. Stress can make us do and act funny.. Sounds like your found something to take your mind off of it though:)

19 Jul 2021
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I'm so exhausted from the bachelorette party yesterday. But it was a good day. Today my dad is placing the 'baseboard?' In my house so I have to get my day started now. Wish I could stay in bed and be lazy all day.
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This morning I found 2 chickens dead and 3 are missing. It's probably not since tonight but the night before. ๐Ÿ˜” I'll get new ones once all the work inside is done and I can start cleaning 'het kippenhok'. Working at the house again today, feeling very tired. This evening I have to go clean up the location for the bachelorette, and bake pancakes. Wish it was bedtime already๐Ÿ˜
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Feeling tired. First day of 'vacation', I'm going to buy curtains for upstairs and then work in the house. It's extremely rainy today.
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Ik mis liefde. Ik mis graag gezien worden, dat gevoel.
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Yesterday I had to work half a day, then I went to the house. Julie's goth father came help me painting. Mom worked in the garden. Today I worked at the house from 1pm till 7pm, not that long but I'm feeling so exhausted. Mom worked it the garden again. Now I'm taking a bath and think I'm gonna watch S03 from virgin river. Try to relax.
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Bad headache again today. It's hectic, moving house and working. My body is hurting for 3 days now, it's probably stress. I took some time off from work from the 15th. But I could start sooner than expected in my new home. It's a bit too much for me. It's difficult to relax, I'm constantly thinking about the house and what I still have to do and so. I'm feeling completely exhausted.
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Having more contact again with Julie's goth father again (a long time ago we're we're in a relationship) I always thought he hated me bc he was heartbroken when I ended our relationship. We were getting alone good as friend, I could be myself and laugh with him. All that ended bc of the breakup. So stupid.
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My body is hurting so bad this morning, feel like sh***. It was a busy weekend. It'll be a busy month. Feels like my body needs some rest.
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Lately I find it difficult to focus at work. My mind is all over the place, with the house and moving plans. Also bit of a headache.
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I went to bed at 7p.m. because I was so tired. Now I'm lying awake for 1,5 hours. Can't sleep anymore. But that's probably because I'm thinking about buying a house with my sister. At 9.30a.m. I'm gonna sign the papers. The moment is finally there. Only just realising that now.
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Earlier this week I dreamd about Tim. The past night I dreamd about Steffen. Where is it coming from. It's been so long ago. And Steffen in never was together with, I did like him at that time tho.
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Had a bad night, only slept 4,5 hours. Normally I need double of that. Head is feeling weird, like I'm on some meds. But I'm not. Don't understand, have that feeling for 3 days now. Trying to make the best of it.
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Asking someone to listen or just be there bc you're feeling lonely isn't that difficult. But it feels like it's not possible to me.
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