Just feeling junk, would quite happily do myself some injury but not that way inclined but the though is there. Its annoying been stable for 10 months now its all wiggley

happens to us all. Storms come. We try to keep a steady hand on the rudder and an eye on our destination. It's hard sometimes when we are tossed about by circumstance.

25 Jul 2018

It's good that you were able to recognize the harmful thought arising, acknowledged it's presence, but did not engage it or allow it to take you to a place you did not care to go. Those are moments of victory.

25 Jul 2018
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Oops to long since last post. To summarize been up and down alot, was referred to mental health again, saw different people now on quetiapine and diagnosed Bi-Polar 2.
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Doctor tomorrow hopefully he is in a cooperative mood, as I really need some adequate help. Thanks for the support you give.

Has anyone heard from him?

20 Dec 2016
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Achieved a month back at work, thought things were stable but then bang depression hits hard and now its all messy. It's so frustrating. I will get asked what triggered it but no answer to that.
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Low but at least no anxiety atm. Spending a lot of time beading jewellery as it helps focus the mind and calms. Now have a fair amount of jewellery and nothing to do with it.
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Been awhile not much going on, still off work. Was thinking about going back next week bit them bam I take a downward spiral. Getting out walking kind of helps for a while. Just want some proper help.
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Its been bullocks lately, anxiety high, depression low. Saw a mental health person they didn't really help much wants me to go on some courses and that's it. Need to up my meds.

still off work, whoch doesn't help and no matter how hard i push myself to go out and do things rather than just staying in where its safe its not helping.

21 Jul 2016

there has been suggestions made of bipolar, which would be fine but they can't agree on that. i reckon bipolar 2.

21 Jul 2016

got scout camp this weekend not looking forward to it. making myself go fed up of letting people down just because I struggle being around people or out atm due tp anxiety.

21 Jul 2016
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Most things ppl say or post are lies, only looking for attention. Why be nice when it comes back and bites you. Online or IRL just don't trust anyone. Remain alone its easier.

Sorry that you feel this way :( I hope you don't feel like that here in Mp

23 Jun 2016
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Starting to feel the effects of the lower dose of meds while I come off one to go on another. It should be worth it in the long run just have to get through this.

Glad to see you on green x

18 Jun 2016

Wearing off meds is hard. Im working on this too

18 Jun 2016

urgh dislike this basically going back to the start sure it will be worth it in the end. indeed it is hard Amanda I hope it isnt to bad for you. Thank you all

18 Jun 2016
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Been to doctors saw a different one, been signed off for a month, referred to a psychiatrist and have a appointment for bloods. Finally progress made to move forward. Still long road but hopeful.
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Fairly meh, nothing has changed no matter what I try. Going anywhere near people is to much just tense all time and silly things putting me on edge. Not sleeping well have been having nightmares

and i haven't had them since i was very young. being alone is also a struggle so really stuck can't be alone but can't be round people. don't really want to go back to doctors not sure he really gets it. got to have a health review at work i know its

12 Jun 2016

routine but its not like they can do anything and I'm not doing it on purpose just for time off. its such a bugger at the moment.

12 Jun 2016
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It will do, made some bracelets today, look nice and keeps me busy while off work still. It feels different to how I have been with the depression before, feels kind of sinister.

Glad to hear you have something to keep yourself distracted =) Otherwise a little worried about the sinister feeling. Can I do anything for you? Huge hugs to you my deal panda pal <3

11 Jun 2016

knowing that you are doing well is enough if i can't have you with me.

11 Jun 2016

Aww you're such a lovely one <3

11 Jun 2016
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Ended up crying myself to sleep and more this morning so haven't made it to work today. Its annoying me now I just want to be working.

Oh no, I'm so sorry to read that :-( Sending you the biggest, comforting panda cuddles <3 Can I do anything more for you, my beloved panda friend? Thinking of you <3 You're always in my heart

08 Jun 2016

you can always come keep me company, but other than that you do enough. its been fairly productive today spent several hours beading a necklace. the holes are so small.

08 Jun 2016
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Returned to work yesterday after being off for a month with my depression, it was ok people seemed pleased to see me. Today on the other hand almost didn't make it in, and just a huge struggle.

and it's only just coming up 8:00 a.m. going to see if I can finish earlier.

07 Jun 2016

Sometimes it's best to go with how you feel. Might you be tired after first day back? It's mentally exhausting to see colleagues after a long break.

07 Jun 2016

Pleased to see you back on MP, my beloved panda friend <3 I'm sorry to hear about the struggle. I agree with Tristan, listen to your body and soul and take care my dear <3 From the bottom of my heart all the best to you and huge, protective hugs <3

07 Jun 2016

no not tired, it feels more like i am slipping backwards again. had to leave early as it got to much.

08 Jun 2016

thank you all

08 Jun 2016
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Signed off for another week. Not that I mind. Made a new appointment with DAS hopefully they will be better this time round. Now just need something to look forward too.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Sending you so much love and light along with huge cuddly hugs and best wishes <3

20 May 2016
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Interesting week last week, very up and down didn't want to be near anyone didn't go work but got lots of odd jobs done at home. went docs today been signed off for another week.

So sorry to hear, it was so up and down :-( Hopefully the next week will be better. Thinking of you, much love and huge hugs to you <3

16 May 2016
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Due to start work now, had to phone in and say I won't be in as my depression has got the better of me. Now feel worse but continuing to push against it was making me feel worse so gave up.

6:05 a.m. now bored, but oh well it is what it is.

09 May 2016

Take care of yourself. Xxxxxx

09 May 2016

Oh my dear, so sorry to hear that :-( If I could, I would fight this damn depression, because you deserve nothing less, than happiness <3 Please stay safe, my beloved panda friend <3 Sending you loads of hugs and much love.

09 May 2016
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Fair to middling. Why is it so hard to be honest and say yeah struggling today, but no say that you're fine and pretend. Why is it so hard to have a normal conversation without being silly or rude?

or make friends? always more questions than answers.

06 May 2016

I have those same questions...let me know if you figure anything out!

06 May 2016

I don't know the answer. Why is it so hard to say those things... Because if we could, maybe someone could help,, or try to make you feel better. Send a lot of hugs - we are all in this together xxx

06 May 2016

One time I met someone new when I was hanging out with my friends & he said 'how's it going?' and I was like 'yeah, not so great right now - here's what's going on' & we had a great chat & became buds. But I know that was a rare encounter.

06 May 2016

Normally I would have said 'fine' and if I hadn't the other person would have been nonplused/put off.

06 May 2016

Margret B, that's just awesome! I wish more people had the courage to do that. I wish I did!!! I am trying to say not so fine, with some people I trust at the times I need too though, just to see if it can make a difference to me.

06 May 2016

Why? Maybe we are just afraid of getting hurt. Because we ha

06 May 2016

have to open up to say we are struggeling. I know that I am afraid of it. Always feeling so vulnerable, when I am honest about my feelings and stop pretending. And we don't want to hurt others, don't want to pull them down. I often feel like a

06 May 2016

burden when I share my feelings within others. I'm trying to change my behavior, trying to turn to people I really trust, people who love me. They always know anyway when I'm down. Telling them how I feel and letting them help me, helps them as well

06 May 2016

they don't have to worry so much, when they can help and make me feel better <3

06 May 2016

Yes, I think you are right Susanne. Fear of getting hurt and pulling people down. But I am realising that if you can find the people to be honest with, it strengthens relationships with them and can change things for the better.

07 May 2016

Very well said =) And I agree with you, dear Myself T <3

07 May 2016
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