Praying for you my friend
Yes. Please check in.
Hope all is well, Susanne. We miss you and are thinking about you and wishing you well. I just hope you decided to take a break from this site for a while. Check back in with us sometime, please! *Hugs*
Hope you have a lovely day, Susanne.
I hope everything's okay. I miss you...
I'm worried about you ;s
sure she is fine, i am sure you could find on facebook if you wanted.
don't have her email address. the last time u checked on facebook she was out having coffee
i dont generally use facebook but i had to go look to check. i wont personally give out her details not my place to, but if you find her post with her drawing on and click it you get surname on the google page with a photo.
rather than eu do ü and add Austria
Hope you're okay Susanne. I miss you. x
Hey just checked in and was hoping to catch up with you? I m a little concerned to see you're not here? Maybe that means all is well ! I hope so xx
Damn ! Still not here. Concerned now x
Hoping you are ok Susanne.. Really miss you. <3
Glad to hear she is safe and well Claire. Xx
I still miss you Susanne xx
I'm worried because I haven't heard anything from you in days D: I hope everything is fine, we miss you <3
Seriously, where are you? :( I really really hope nothinh bad has happened my dear... I wish I would have you in any other social media, so I could check on you right now :S I miss you Susanne, come back soon <3
Agree with Jeff, I really just wanna hear that you are ok :(
Oh my dear where are you :'(
I have tried, Alexander :S Did you have her emal or do I remember wrong?
I don't even know her last name, Alexander... If you have her in your facebook friends and know that she is alright, then I'm relieved. <3
I know that Alexander. Thanl you, I appreciate that. I'll try to find her.
I cant find anyone in facebook with her photo and name? There is only 3 persons with that name anyway
Thank you Alexander, I found her. Couldn't have done that without you, so thanks a lot. Now I know she is alright, it means a lot to me :)
I'm with you Anna, miss you too Susanne :(
I really hope you're okay...
haven't heard from you in such a long time, really hope you are okay!
I hope you're okay :(
Some relatives I haven't seen for quite a while came over. At first sight I was happy about it. But they didn't really say anything helpful, quite the contrary, they made me sad, angry and anxious. At some point I pretended to be
interested and stopped reacting to things that made me feel bad. I was completely detached, the only thing on my mind: my soul was thirsty for being alone, silently screaming. I don't know if this is too hard, but tbh I hope they won't visit me again
Sumtimz its just easier bein on our own wen no1 else understands wat we are goin thru!pple may tink dy are helping but they dont understand!u are amazing and u deserve to have sum alone time for urself!
That sounds unbelievably hard. But you managed to try and do something to stop the vampires. They meant the best, I'm sure. Sending you much love and energising hugs.
I'm sorry you've been so exhausted. Take your time to recover
Look after yourself
Sometimes its best to be without those relatives you dont see often, as bad as it sounds they dont have a clue which no fault of anyone can make things worse! x
Sending you bigs hugs :)
I'm so blessed with all the support I get from you pandas <3 my family <3 and friends <3 my therapist <3 and social worker <3 and I'm so grateful =)
Really glad to hear that you have some great supports. <3
Glad to hear your having a better day :)
Happy you're having a better day too!
Hang in girl, from experience I tell you...it will someday, get much better...not sure when or how long it'll take...but omgoodness...it'll surely get better...lots hugs for you!
Thank you all lovely awesome fellow pandas so much, I appreciate your support <3 *bigpandagrouphug* Thanks a lot, sweet Buffy, it's great =) Thank you, dear Natalie <3 Thank you too, lovely Fiona <3 Sweet Wendy bear, thank you very much, I guess
you're right, no, I know it. It's just a matter of time, it needs a little patience. Thanks again for your wise words, huge hugs to you <3
Sounds like you have an amazing support team. You can tackle the world with that!
Sorry to hear youre having a really tough time :( sending you big hugs. Proud you didnt do something you may late regret. That sure takes courage and bravery x
Glad you are feeling better again, and proud of you for not doing something you'd regret!!
Strong Susanne bear, you are the shining beacon. I am glad you feel a little better xx
My beloved pandas, thank you very much <3 Sending lots of cuddly hugs to you <3 Thanks a lot, sweet Natalie, today it's already so much better =) Your kind words are heartwarming <3 Thank you so much, dear Daria, thanks a lot for your sweet comment
it's much appreciated <3 Thank you lovely Binky bear, your kind comment makes me so happy =) Much love to everyone of you <3
Thank you very much, my dear panda pals <3 Big fluffy hugs to you, Meggie, H F, Fiona, Alexander and Melissa <3
*joins you in the dark*
you better not be done with the world for good.
Been there before...really su&ks! Feel for ya...and care...
My lovelies, thank you very much, I can't even find the right words to express, what it means to me, that I can count on you <3 You all are my light in the darkness <3 *biggestpandagrouphug* Thanks a lot, my dear Taryn bear, it helped me so much
to imagine you sitting beside me, not being alone, I'm deeply moved and grateful <3 Thank you, my sweet Alexander, it gets better, I guess I'm not finally done with the world yet ;-) Thank you very much, dear Wendy <3 I l'm sorry to hear you've
been there too, I hope none of us will ever (have to) return to this dark place. Best wishes to you <3
it seems you feel better now and that makes me happy. your comments always mean so much to me, so seeing you sad upsets me
Glad you are feeling little better...hugs!
Thanks a lot, you sweet panda pals, Big fluffy hugs to you, lovely James, Daria, Wendy, desdmonia, Stephen, Binky and T S <3 Thanks a lot, dear Daria, indeed, things definitely improved =) Aww, your kind comment is so touching <3 Thank
you too, sweet Wendy <3
I'm so happy to see you are feeling better now. You are such a bright and wonderful person, you fill me with inspiration. I am glad you took no action. Massive hugs.
You pandas are really an incredible source of comfort and support <3 Thank you so much, dear Meggie, Alexander Fiona, Melissa and Myself T <3 You all mean the world to me <3 Thanks a lot, lovely Myself T, I'm deeply moved, you make my heart wanna
sing =) You're such a kind, caring and wonderful panda and I'm so grateful <3 My biggest hugs to you
I am so sorry that you felt this way. And so so so happy that you are still here, still in this world. It can be awful place sometimes, but usually it's a very good place to be. Sorry that I wasn't here before :( I am so glad that you are okay, I
don't know what I would do if you would be gone. Much love, hugs and support on your way, my strong and powerful dear friend. You can do this!!
No validation for my struggles. I know I shouldn't take it to heart and I really wanted to stay in the green, but it hurts so much. It's like all I've been through is meaningless. Honestly the moment he left, I felt like jumping off a bridge.
Inbetween l'm just crying. [sarcasm on] Yeah, filling out a 10 point questionnaire and using the stethoscope teils you so much about my mental illness and other problems and it teils you exactly, how much help I need. [sarcasm off] I'm so tired of it
I'm so sorry, Susanne xx
My dear fellow pandas, thank you so much for being here for me, it really helps to know you're here and to feel the love through all your hugs <3 And I send loads of them back to you. Never forget that I appreciate everyone of you so much <3
Thanks a lot, sweet Taryn, for your kind comment <3
Lovely Daria, desdmonia and Stephen <3 Thank you so much *pandacuddles*
My beloved Alexander panda, thanks a lot, sending lots of hugs back to you <3 Dear Melissa, thank you too for your support <3 Huge hugs for you
...while having a short walk outside. Being able to have a walk whenever I want and no longer needing a wheel chair makes me so happy =) And I'm pain free today. Plus I had 7 hours of good sleep without nightmares, 1x acid again, but I'll have a
higher done of my homeopathic gastric protection tonight and that should solve it. And I have tried the combination of 3 flashback coping mechanisms and it worked well. Plus I think I can do without anxiety meds, so no further chemicals in my system
I've never felt this happy =) Everything's looking good. Thanks lovely pandas for your support all the time <3
Seeing this makes me very happy! :) I'm so glad you're doing good!
well done this is very pleasing.
Happy to read this!!
So happy for you!!well done!being positive pays off!ur a rolemodel to so many! :)
My heart is filled with joy and relief when I read this my dear friend <3 Long may this last :)
this is so great I am so happy for you!!!!
Thank you all so much, you mean everything to me <3 Your support is priceless and your hugs are a blessing. And I'm so grateful for your positive vibes =) *bigpandagrouphug* <3 Thank you lovely Jeff, Alexander, Silke, Vicky, Claire and Daria for your
heartwarming comments =) Just in this moment, where I feel so low, you pick me up with your love, that's the greatest gift ever <3 Thanks to all you sweet pandas for your hugs, they're much appreciated <3 I hope I can give back as much as I receive.
Thank you two lovelies, Alexander and Melissa <3 *pandacuddles* having you in my heart
I will see if acid regurgitation is due to new pain killers, if yes, I'll have a little more of my homeopathic gastric protection, so no further chemicals needed. All things look manageable today =)
Ahh, acid. To me it comes exactly at midnight.
That's great to see! :)
All you lovely pandas here & in my heart, thank you so much <3 Sending huge fluffy hugs over to you =) Dear Paul, it's a nasty thing. Have you tried gastric protection or something similar, that neutralizes the acid in your stomach?
Thanks a lot, sweet Jeff =) Thank you too, my lovely Claire <3
Dear panda friend, thank you so much <3 Biggest hugs and much love to you.
The moment when they occur is agony, but I'm coping. Had another talk with doc later, he came to my room to ask, if the new pain killer works without causing stomach cramps. Yes, it works so far, I hope this also works with my sleeping pill.
He also said, we should talk with my psychiatrist about additional meds, like for anxiety, that would make me calmer in general and especially after flashbacks and nightmares in addition to my SSRI and sleeping pill. What's your experience with
anxiety meds, pandas? Answers appreciated
I'm afraid I've got no advice of experiences to share but just to say I hope you manage to work things out ok and I'm so happy for you, for managing to stay clean :) brilliant! Good luck with the flashbacks, thinking of you <3
I am so proud of you! every day without self harm is a step towards Recovery. and a month is already so long!! that are amazing news
Aww, thank you so much lovely panda friends <3 I'm so grateful for your kind words and hugs *huggingback* <3 Thanks a lot, dear Clara, don't worry, I will talk to my psychiatrist and she'll answer all questions =) You make me smile and I
appreciate it so much <3 Thank you very much, sweet Daria, your comment really warms my heart <3 Thanks again you two lovelies <3
Hey Susanne! Also no experience with meds but flashbacks cause me to say a particular word and once I say it out loud it seems to make me feel a bit better. I also find physically moving, even just across the room helps me move away from the flashbac
Sometimes they are just too intense and I just have to hold on and wait for the feeling to pass. I hope you feel better soon!
Dear J R, thank you very much for your support <3 I use to count to 5, when I have a flashback, as long as I count I only focus on that and ignore everything else, that helps me through the 'agony' phase =) That's a great idea, I could make 5
big steps away from it. Maybe I can even combine it with the 'safe circle' practice, where you imagine a safe place, creating that circle the way you want it to be and put in memories of feeling safe. I could step in that circle with the 5thstep =)
I will try that out. Thanks again for helping and inspiring me <3 Huge hugs to you
I am so proud of you <3 I don't know about the meds, but what I have heard is that they aren't really good, because they really won't remove the cause of anxiety, and that they might even make you more anxious. I wouldn't take them for my anxiety,
because I believe in natural methods more. Of course there are situations when you need meds, but if I can avoid them and use something alternative, I will :D But I feel you know the methods for anxiety already, so if you feel they don't help enough,
maybe you can try the meds out. I'm hoping all the best for you my dear, I hope you find good solution.
Thank you very much, lovely Claire <3 Oh, that doesn't sound good indeed, but I talked to the doc today, that I'll try it without them. I don't want so much chemicals in my body. If I feel I can't do without those meds, I can still ask my
psychiatrist. Natural methods sound definitely better and you're right, I've already learned about them. I guess, I just need to practice ;-) Thank you so much again, my dear panda friend. By the way, today I tried the one flashback coping mechanism
and it worked well =) Big hugs to you, sweet Claire as well as to you, dear nixiblu, Amanda, Meggie, desdmonia and Beau <3 I'm so grateful for your support and you all sweet panda pals have my love <3
Lovely Rafa, Alexander and Jenna, thanks a lot for hugging me <3 *huggingback*
Stay strong and fight the urge. You can do it!
I'm so fed up with all this, feel like crying. I just want to have recreative sleep. Is that too much asked? Called my best friend to get my self-harm toolkit from my flat and bring it, when she comes to visit me later.
Think how good you'll feel if you resist! I hope you'll be ok, susanne! We're all here for you!
I know the frustration of medication changes & the side effects. Sending you hugs and strength to fight the urge to SH :(
Your not pathetic, its ok to feel those emotions. Im sorry your having a rough time, be kind to yourself <3 hopefully tomorrows a little better x
Self harm toolkit? I'm sorry. Big hugs for you!
Thank you all so much for your awesome support, it's priceless and means so much to me <3 Sending lots of fluffy panda hugs to everyone of you <3 Thanks a lot, dear Amy, gladly you were right, no self-harm relapse, I used healthy alternatives instead
Thank you, lovely Jeff, I thought about that, a month of being clean is too much to sacrifice just to satisfy a spontaneous urge. And I really feel good about resisting =) Thx again <3 Thank you very much, sweet Natalie, I'm so grateful for your
comments and I'm sorry to hear you know that too. Thank you too, sweet Esther, don't worry, it's a toolkit of healthy alternatives, I'm clean =)
Sweet Stephen and Daria <3 Thanks a lot you two lovelies *pandacuddles*
good job staying strong! <3
Thank you very much, dear Amanda, desdmonia and Beau, I'm so grateful for your hugs and send lots of them back to you <3 Thank you sweet desdmonia for your lovely comment, it makes me smile =)
My beloved Alexander panda <3 Thanks a lot for your continuous awesome support <3 *pandacuddles*
Hope you feel better soon Susanne. Hope you got some good sleep. Sending comforting panda vibes xx
Thank you all Vers much for your support <3 I appreciate it and send loads of hugs back <3 Thank you, sweet Binky, at least I got 2 hours more sleep than yesterday =) Thanks again <3
Sweet nixiblu, Amanda and Beau <3 Thanks a lot for your hugs, sending loads back to you =)
Lovely Alexander panda, thank you so much <3 *fluffypandahugs*
Hope you can get some reasonable sleep. It's tough when it becomes something you resent :(
Thank you very much for your support, all you lovely pandas <3 Sending much love and big hugs over to you <3 Thanks a lot, dear John, last night I got at least 5 hours of sleep, not really recreative, but still better than 3 hours =)
You two lovelies, nixiblu and Amanda, thank you so much, sending lots of cuddly hugs and much love over to you <3
Thanks a lot, my dear panda pal <3 Big hugs back
Just thinking: Is it possible, that the pain killers reduce the effect of my sleeping pill?
Hold on to that momentum!
Maybe contact a doctor, it might be possible. Some medication you better not take together
Lovely panda folks thank you very much <3 I send lots of fluffy hugs back to everyone of you <3 Sweet Silke, thanks a lot for your advice. I'm gonna ask doc tomorrow, maybe we can fix that =)
Sorry, dear Paul, I almost overlooked your comment. Thank you very much <3 I intend to do that =)
Sweet panda pals Tasha and Taryn, thank you so much <3 *cuddlyhugsback*
Thanks a lot, dear John, Claire, desdmonia and Daria <3 *huggingback*
Thank you too, sweet Meggie, huge hugs <3
Lovely Amanda, thank you very much for your continuous support <3 Cuddly hugs for you =)
Thanks a lot, you two lovelies Alexander and caapi <3 Hugs back to you sweet guys
Sweet Paul, thanks a lot <3 *fluffypandahugs*
It works... most of the time. Like exercise, benefits come with practice.
Thanks a lot all you lovely pandas, sending loads of cuddly hugs out to you <3 I agree, dear PeaceNLove, things get better, the more I do them. There are enough situations, when I forget that I have a choice to do me something good, but I learn =)
You two lovelies, thank you very much, dear Natalie and Taryn <3 *pandacuddles*
Thanks a lot, my beloved panda friend <3 *lotsofhugsback*
Lovely Meggie, thank you very much <3 Cuddly hugs for you
Thank you, dear Amanda panda, big hugs back to you <3
Lovely Alexander, you really know, when I l could use some extra hugs, thank you very much, I'm eternally grateful <3
Sounds like an up and down day like mine. :)
My dear panda pals, thank you all so much *pandagrouphugs* <3 I'm sorry to hear that, sweet PeaceNLove, I hope you had a better day inbetween <3
Thank you, beloved Claire panda, sending lots of fluffy hugs on your way <3
*huggingback* sweet Amanda bear, thanks a lot <3
It's the first time she laughs, since she were at psychiatrist with my twin sis. Inbetween she set a boundary too, we'll both be here for her, if she decides to accept help. But as long as she doesn't, we won't waste time and energy on useless
worries, we rather enjoy the here and now, just like this almost perfect moment. It doesn't need to being perfect, the weather is lovely, not too hot and those few stitches in my leg don't really matter.
Enjoying the now is all that matters. ??
that's lovely, I am happy to hear that!
Wise choice Susanne. Big hugs.
Reading this makes me happy :-)
My beloved panda friends, thank you all so much, sending huge hugs back to everyone of you <3 Dear Paul, thanks a lot, you hit the nail on the head =) Thank you sweet Claire and Daria, much love <3 Thanks a lot, dear Reba, I appreciate them <3
Aww, I'm so pleased to read that, lovely Binky =) Thanks again all you awesome pandas <3
Sweet caapi, thank you very much <3 *pandacuddles*
Thank you, dear Julia *huggingback*
glad to hear you're feeling somewhat better. lots of warm hugs. hope you'll get a good nights sleep soon. x
Very glad to hear you are feeling more positive... lots of hugs, and keep smiling xxxxx
Good to see you are doing better now. Keep it up! ;)
Glad to hear you're feeling better <3 My biggest hugs, you can do this x
Thank you so much, all you lovelies <3 Sending huge hugs over to you along with my perfect appreciation <3 Thanks a lot, sweet Beau, I guess, tonight it will be the right time for good sleep =) Thank you very much, dear Myself T, I'll do
that, in the end, every bad phase is followed by a good one =) Lovely Paul, thanks a lot, I intend to do that =) My sweet Claire, thank you so much for your encouraging comment <3 Much love xoxo
so good to hear that you are getting better!
Thanks a lot, lovely Daria <3 Thank you too, Stephen <3 Huge cuddly hugs to you two lovelies =)
Thank you, lovely nixiblu, sending lots of cuddly hugs back to you <3
Meditation didn't help, had nightmares, woke up really scared, extreme night sweat, bedclothes had to be changed and I couldn't fall asleep again afterwards. Physiotherapy was exhausting, acute pain in my leg. Psychotherapy was canceled and
my therapist forgot to tell me, that she couldn't come. But I need her so much today. Going through dissociative episodes followed by flashbacks and being overwhelmed by emotional pain. I want this to end.
Such a hard day for u Susanne :( keep trying to have a positive attitude, u seem to be amazing at that!hopefully things wil improve for you very soon x
You can get through this. Tons of hugs!
Sorry, Susannebear...these tough days will pass. Just got to get through them. It's ok to be down and frustrated, but know that better days will come! Sending you strength!
*This needs more hugs* Allow yourself to rest, take a hot shower or bath. Do anything that you do make yourself at ease. Writing down negative thoughts and throwing them away seems to help me a lot.
I'm so sorry lovely. Be kind and patient with yourself through this time. Sending you lots of love xx
Thank you all so much for standing by me with good advice and love <3 I appreciate it so much, it means a lot to me <3 Lovely Vicky, thank you very much, I took yourself advice to heart and told myself the next day will be better, and it is indeed =)
Thanks again for your kind words <3 Thank you, sweet Mackie, you were right and you hugs arrived and helped me <3 Thanks a lot, dear Jeff, I'm so grateful for your support, you were right too, thank you for the strength <3
* your advice ;-) That's really lovely, thank you very much, sweet Paul, I took time to write down all that was going on inside of me, throwed it away and felt really relieved. It helped me a lot to fall asleep <3 My dear Taryn bear, thanks a Iot,
your advice helped meine too <3 You reminded me of how to deal with this situations best. That it's better to accept and let it out, instead of being inpatient and fighting against myself. Thank you again <3
* me * impatient ;-) autocorrection struck XD
My sweet panda pals, thank you, lovely Beau, desdmonia, Meggie and Claire <3 *pandagrouphugs*
that sounds rough. I hope you recover soon, these days won't last forever
Thank you very much, dear Paul and Daria <3 I guess I'm on the way =) You hit the nail on the head <3 *pandacuddles* to both of you
You lovelies <3 Thank you so much *huggingback*
Thank you very much <3 Everyone of you is a gem and I'm so grateful for your hugs <3 Sending loads of them back to you all <3
You two lovelies, thanks a lot <3 Big hugs back to you, Sarah and Anna <3
Thank you very much, my dear Claire <3 I'm so grateful for your continuous support <3 *pandacuddles*
I'm so glad that you have some calm x
Thanks a lot all you lovely, fluffy pandas <3 Sending huge hugs over to you =) Thanks you, sweet Taryn <3
Sweet Meggie, Sam, Daria and Vicky, thank you very much <3 *pandagrouphugs*
Thank you, dear Sarah <3 Big fluffy hugs to you