That really sucks Alicia, I hope you haven't caught it too 😔
Love you lots dear Pandafriend. I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time
That is so true about decisions. I hope things turn out ok. Glad you are out of despair though!
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i'm so glad it's helping! my wife uses it too . . . i tried it some years ago and it didn't jibe well with me . . . it's so interesting how different all of our internal chemistries are
It works for me for a time a then stops, unfortunately. Right now I am in need of a lot extra something.
nothing at all for a while to be honest. I am exhausted by paranoia and intrusive thoughts. Life is tough, and here goes another person offing themselves to prove it. So many of them! Why are human brains so weird?
We're not made for knowing the things we know....
People can certainly be weird! :(
I hope that you don't have to go through more days like that, sending you some cheerful thoughts (like a wholesome kitten video ✨)
That's not an easy way to finish your working day.. I feel you.
be gentle with the self of you
Hold on there. Take care of yourself by having nice, healthy and warm breakfast all the time. :P
Thank you Itch and Tami :)
That's ok, I have a life and it's a good life and we were not a good fit. Actually, he is one of the reasons I often feel guilty. One of the times I messed up big time. We used to keep in touch and this year was the first time he didn't say
Happy birthday to me. That's ok too, I wasn't bothered. Maybe I shouldn't write to him. Who the *** knows what's best for him! I'd like to help somehow, but maybe the best way is to stay gone?
I also got news about Theo's brother having surgery for his cancer. Both brothers getting it the same year, what are the odds? My sister is feeling ok for theoat part though she needed a brief hospitalisation for a digestive issue (due to having a
part of her intestine removed due to cancer). Life is happening everywhere. My best friend might be getting romantic with someone. E's brother is having his second child. People are having important things happen to them all the time, including me,
and yet here I am, stuck in my head in a circle of the same thoughts turning and turning and turning. Please, let me out! It hurts and it's so stupid and pointless and unimportant and I've spent my whole life like this, fixated on one small thing in
front of me as if there was no past with its vast multitude of experience and no future that certainly contains serious issues and death, but also all sorts of fun. I am so sick of my mind. It's a cage, and a small one at that.
nodding into this
Can comfirm I probably won't be getting romantic unless we are both inexplicably super horny. Which for her might be asking a lot, sadly.
>^..^< (T.L.I. (Too Little Information (lol)
Lollll you guys
I'm pagan. There, I said it. I've felt pagan ever since I was little, in my own meaning of the word, and now it appears there are many many people in this world that consider themselves the same. There, I said it :) Never liked any of the organised
religions. Anyway, I don't know what to do to heal the things I've done. There is no one left to apologize to. Can doing good for others be atonment of sorts? It doesn't seem fair. I don't know. I have to think about it.
Maybe we don't need religion to let go and forgive ourselves. When we grow and look back, we can see how we were unskillful at times. That hurts. But we can acknowledge that we were acting in accordance with that past level of consciousness.
when we know better, we do better. And when we do better, there many be some remorse around past mistakes.
how is that landing?
It was good , love!
aww sweetie drugs are bad for you try going for a run to clear your mind, and hey you might run into some people you may know
One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made... But it's brought me to where I am and it's actually a great place to be. So screw her, I don't even remember she exists unless she does something nasty like she did today. She is not interesting or
important enough for me to feel hurt over. Or even angry. I never loved her (like I said, big mistake). It's a good lesson though. Be more serious about whom you tie yourself to, future Alicia. You deserve respect and love - and fidelity, by the way.
You deserve attention and care. We all do. Especially pandas. We've been through enough.
Also, you deserve to feel free to be yourself. Don't you forget that. It's really important.
You can always text me 💕
of people around. But I'm taking care of myself and it helps. I keep myself hydrated and fed and I remind myself that my mind can play tricks on me and everything isn't as bad as my brain can make it seem sometimes.
I was just listening to a Byron Katie interview. I like her process, called the Work,for dealing with intrusive thoughts that upset our balance.
I should check that out!
the inline skating trip to Frankfurt and a real vacation! On an island in the Mediterranean! How amazing is that???