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Can't say I believe in magic properties of stones and such, but I believe in placebo effect, and anyway who cares, I know today self-care felt possible, and I'm in an overall loving mood, self love
Alicia B
10h · LEGEND

included. (Talking of stones because I got me a rose quartz pendant. And a hexagon one , turns out that has spiritual significance too. Anyway). My hopes are: getting in touch with the higher self. Be more giving, forgiving and kind. Worry less about

Alicia B
10h · LEGEND

what I'm getting, stop trying to read people's minds, stop trying to foresee the future. Practice acceptance, fearlessness and self-sufficiency.

Mandy H
6h · 6+ MONTHS

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Max T
1h · LEGEND

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Ann L
36m · GUARDIAN

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John T
27m · LEGEND

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Looking back at my life, I've never been able to believe I was loved in a relationship, not beyond the first couple of months, anyway. I think back to ex after ex, and I was either sure they didn't
Alicia B
2d · LEGEND

love me, or had doubts so strong they poisoned the whole thing for me. In a way, being certain I'm unloved is comfortable for me. It's easier, less anxiety-inducing, it feels like home. My childhood home. Lonely, cold and hopeless.

Alicia B
2d · LEGEND

I need a change...

John T
2d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

John T
2d · LEGEND

Get out of your comfort zone and feel the love

me M
2d · 1+ YEAR

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Max T
2d · LEGEND

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Ann L
2d · GUARDIAN

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Tayla O
2d · 6+ MONTHS

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Jen B
1d · HERO

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nixiblu .
15h · HERO

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nixiblu .
15h · HERO

Sounds familiar to me too. X

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Lots of sadness with spikes of joy. Intrusive thoughts and paranoia won't let me be. Tired of being depressed, of wasting all my time on thinking of people that don't matter and situations that may
Alicia B
3d · LEGEND

never happen. Keeping the emotions deemed 'bad' to myself. They are just emotions produced by my badly wired brain. They're not my fault. What if all the bad premonitions are correct though? I don't know how I'd deal with that.

John T
2d · LEGEND

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Tayla O
2d · 6+ MONTHS

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Had a meltdown two days ago, felt a bit weird last night as well, but woke up feeling good today. Very light, very me, if that makes sense. Face skin looking more alive. It's worth trying new
John T
4d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d · LEGEND

antidepressants or even going off them for an experimental while. I've survived 35 years without them, after all, and they weren't all bad, and it's not like I've been particularly happy on them. It's up and down anyway, and the problem is the

Alicia B
4d · LEGEND

intensity. DBT will help with that.

Love !
4d · LEGEND

Sounds like the meltdown was a purging. Glad you emerged the better from it.

Ann L
4d · GUARDIAN

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me M
4d · 1+ YEAR

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Anna D
4d · SUPPORTER

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nixiblu .
4d · HERO

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Chance of getting a new flat for cheap. Watched Loving Vincent tonight. Experimenting with antidepressants without Doc's advice, irresponsible but I really know what to do... Hair and skin doing
Alicia B
5d · LEGEND

better even after two days! Good luck to me.

John T
5d · LEGEND

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Anna D
5d · SUPPORTER

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nixiblu .
5d · HERO

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Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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Got my weird mole removed. Did some grocery shopping. Drove around with E. for his work. I'm still suffering from splitting. I don't know what to do about it. I'll find a solution, I always do. Right?
Cyclothymic Teddy B
6d · NEW

*Hugs*

Lili C
6d ·

Of course you will get through this :)

Lili C
6d ·

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Cyclothymic Teddy B
6d · NEW

Bye bye, wierd mole!

Natalia F
6d ·

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Max T
6d · LEGEND

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Ann L
6d · GUARDIAN

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Anna D
6d · SUPPORTER

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nixiblu .
6d · HERO

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Alicia B
6d · LEGEND

Thank you guys 😊

Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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5 Alicia B
13 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Woke up flat and sad and worried and irritable and sad. Been like that all day. It's been an ok day though.
Taya P
13 Jan 2021 · NEW

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Taya P
13 Jan 2021 · NEW

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Sara H
13 Jan 2021 · 1+ YEAR

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John T
7d · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
7d · HERO

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Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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6 Alicia B
12 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Got a weighted blanket, it's VERY relaxing. Played some video games. Had a lovely chat with bestie. Wish I had a bit more energy, but it's hard to stay motivated at a stagnant lockdown time.
Alexandra C
13 Jan 2021 ·

Weighted blankets are the bomb!

Alexandra C
13 Jan 2021 ·

*Hugs*

Mandy H
13 Jan 2021 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
13 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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John T
13 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

You're doing great! Keep painting!

Alicia B
13 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

Thanks guys 😊

nixiblu .
7d · HERO

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Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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6 Alicia B
11 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Morning was lovely, then heard a song and got upset. Feeling very vulnerable, but ok.
John T
11 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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Anna D
11 Jan 2021 · SUPPORTER

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nixiblu .
11 Jan 2021 · HERO

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nixiblu .
7d · HERO

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Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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8 Alicia B
10 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Feeling wonderful all day, basically
John T
11 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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Anna D
11 Jan 2021 · SUPPORTER

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nixiblu .
11 Jan 2021 · HERO

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Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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8 Alicia B
09 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Had a bit of an upset time today but back to feeling good again (thank you, E.) Painted backgrounds for my triptych, a side of Heartburn and a fragment for another painting. Happy.
Ann L
10 Jan 2021 · GUARDIAN

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John T
10 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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Max T
10 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
10 Jan 2021 · HERO

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AD S
11 Jan 2021 · NEW

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AD S
11 Jan 2021 · NEW

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Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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8 Alicia B
08 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Looks like my depressive phase is over! All of a sudden I'm not worried, I enjoy people, and going places and doing things. I am able to look at my life and acknowledge that I am truly happy.
John T
08 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
08 Jan 2021 · HERO

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Tayla O
08 Jan 2021 · 6+ MONTHS

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Anna D
09 Jan 2021 · SUPPORTER

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Anna D
09 Jan 2021 · SUPPORTER

It's great! I hope the happy phase will be the longest possible :)

Spacekitten V
09 Jan 2021 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Alicia B
09 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

Thank you, Anna!

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7 Alicia B
07 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Lovely morning. Propranolol helping. Some self care. Face masks, watching stand up, going to try and journal more often. I don't like doing it digitally is the problem. And though E. has told me
Alicia B
07 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

several times he thinks reading personal things like journals and messages is one of the worst things he can imagine

Alicia B
07 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

I still feel uneasy about keeping a journal in the home, trust issues and all.

John T
07 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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Ann L
07 Jan 2021 · GUARDIAN

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Tasha S
07 Jan 2021 · GUARDIAN

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Tayla O
08 Jan 2021 · 6+ MONTHS

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5 Alicia B
06 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
My sister's tumor turned out to be cancer after all. They've removed everything, so I think there is hope, but she feels doomed. Life as she knew it is indeed over. I am sort of in shock. I can't
Alicia B
06 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

believe it, so I don't really feel bad. The day has been tough for me, I've cried for most of it, but I got a bouquet and takeaway from E., and he's been so good to me that I can't help but feel really happy from time to time, when I get a lot of

Alicia B
06 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

attention. I am an insatiable black hole of longing, and it's never, never too much affection.

Alicia B
06 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

Tonight has been better than previous nights because I got my Propranolol. Even though I'm on a super low dose, turns out it helps with my anxiety. Tempted to ask if I can take more. Will ask psychiatrist on the 8th.

nat !
06 Jan 2021 ·

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Diamond G
06 Jan 2021 · NEW

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Ash H
06 Jan 2021 ·

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John T
06 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
06 Jan 2021 · HERO

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Love !
06 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

Sorry to hear abt your sister. Most people would be terrified to receive a cancer diagnosis.

Alicia B
07 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

Thank you, love. She is terrified,.it's a dangerous one

Tayla O
08 Jan 2021 · 6+ MONTHS

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7 Alicia B
04 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Talked to mom on the phone, opened up about some of my feelings. She called again a couple hours later to ask if I was having a bad phase, and to tell me I was special, beautiful and lovable. 😒 Awwww
John T
05 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Ann J
05 Jan 2021 ·

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Tina C
05 Jan 2021 ·

That's really great!

Ann L
05 Jan 2021 · GUARDIAN

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7 Alicia B
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
Sister is back home and back to her grumpy critical old self. Drugs looked so good on her! Ah well. She has lost weight after the surgery, she is basically skeletal at this point, and she is nauseous
Alicia B
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

a lot of the time, and still she is unhappy that she eats things 'one is not supposed to eat', like candy and ice cream and cheese and other fatty stuff... I mean, you've just had a brush with death, you may well have a dangerous type of cancer, and

Alicia B
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

yet you are still obsessed with weight loss or not gaining it, anyway. Main news of the week (according to sis)? Younger son has lost weight. God, my family is weird. All of them, completely obsessed with the way they look, especially their (and my)

Alicia B
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

weight. And so was I before j read Intuitive Eating and worked on myself. I still am obsessed, to an extent. But putting looks above all is a losing game. We're all getting older, and so are out partners and potential partners... Are we going to deny

John T
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

ourselves love and closeness and sex , cause we're all getting older and less attractive? *** no! I,.for one, intend to have sex for as long as I physically can.😁

Ann J
02 Jan 2021 ·

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Spacekitten V
03 Jan 2021 · GUARDIAN

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Love !
03 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
03 Jan 2021 · HERO

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Esther B
03 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
01 Jan 2021 · LEGEND
So much anxiety almost every night. I need my Propranolol. Gotta wait two more days. Paranoia, and gripping fear? What am I afraid of, really? Being alone, being unloved, or is it a blow to my ego
Alicia B
01 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

that would be unbearable? I don't know. I'm just scared. Nothing has ever been good for long. No-one has ever been reliable. My roots go deep into the hollow. Will this fear ever end? They say there is such a thing as a corrective experience. Not all

Alicia B
01 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

relationships are doomed, there is like a 10% chance. One thought I find soothing. As people come into your life and go, try and bring something

Alicia B
01 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

into their life to make it a tiny bit better. Everything else is in the hands of gods. 😊

Anna D
02 Jan 2021 · SUPPORTER

*Hugs*

John T
02 Jan 2021 · LEGEND

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8 Alicia B
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND
2020 was a big year for me. New job in a new language and a new industry. A divorce (not on paper yet, but in our hearts definitely). A shift in a very important relationship, hopefully I will be able
Alicia B
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

to preserve it. Moving to a new apartment. A new romantic relationship that is definitely one of the most important ones of my life. A diagnosis of BPD. My first attempts at therapy. Taking responsibility for my life and my heart. It's been

Alicia B
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

life-changing, and I haven't even mentioned the pandemic yet. May we have some peace, some healing and lots of love in 2021.

Ann L
31 Dec 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Mandy H
31 Dec 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

me M
31 Dec 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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Spacekitten V
31 Dec 2020 · GUARDIAN

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John T
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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Daniel L
31 Dec 2020 ·

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Anna D
31 Dec 2020 · SUPPORTER

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Ann J
31 Dec 2020 ·

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2 Alicia B
30 Dec 2020 · LEGEND
Some people call themselves crazy in their Instagram bio because they are trying to seem eccentric and interesting... It annoys me so much. Have they ever felt ***al? Unable to function? Have they
Alicia B
30 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

experienced the utter, devastating despair that their own mind imposed on them? I know it's just a word. Everyone has a right to it, and they are using it as a positive one rather than a derogatory...that's a good thing. Still, I'm irritated.

Ann J
30 Dec 2020 ·

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Anna D
30 Dec 2020 · SUPPORTER

*Hugs*

Anna D
30 Dec 2020 · SUPPORTER

I understand you. It's because you can't imagine the psychical pain unless you live it, so it makes them overuse the word 'crazy'.

Max T
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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Ann L
31 Dec 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Manda P
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

This bothers me too. Most of them have no clue about being truly β€œcrazy” & it's just a bad look for mental illness.

John T
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
30 Dec 2020 · LEGEND
Worried about my bestie. Feeling guilty for not giving enough attention lately. I can't seem to get back to proper functioning after my December depression. As for life on this end, everything
Alicia B
30 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

is fine, everything is great, actually, it's the way I always wanted. Minus the parallel Goblinverse, in which negative thoughts keep on turning and turning in my head making me paranoid and scared. How come I can't allow myself the tiniest hope

Alicia B
30 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

that my heart won't be broken anytime soon?

Ann L
30 Dec 2020 · GUARDIAN

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John T
30 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
31 Dec 2020 · LEGEND

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