6.2 avg
  706 days
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  122 followers
PTSD episode last night. Got triggered and cried a bunch. Feeling kind of embarrassed. Working on letting that shame go. I've got a weird brain and I'm doing my best.
Charles P
12h ·

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Penelope P
11h · LEGEND

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John T
10h · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
8h · HERO

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Tayla O
4h · 6+ MONTHS

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I don't really want to see anyone today, but we're going to visit some people. Made plans a while ago. Will be home tomorrow. I'm feeling perpetually jetlagged because I work nights.
Jeff M
2d · LEGEND

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Jeff M
2d · LEGEND

I bet that takes a lot of adjustment. I have a friend who's an overnight nurse in the hospital. Her family is adjusted, but it's tough after years. Still, the body will adjust!

Tayla O
2d · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
1d · LEGEND

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Ian D
22h · 6+ MONTHS

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Alicia B
13h · LEGEND

Jeff, my job is much easier, I think that will help :) thanks

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Had my first big stress and the first crazy thing happening at work. Hanging out and visiting people this week. Feeling OK.
Shelley H
2d · HERO

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Tayla O
2d · 6+ MONTHS

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Ian D
2d · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
1d · LEGEND

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Feeling good. Meditating a bit and setting goals for relationships, with mom for example. Making plans for summer. My first salary is due tomorrow. It's pathetic but I'm still glad and kinda proud.
Tayla O
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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Bea M
5d ·

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Robert H
5d · GUARDIAN

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tEnT S
5d · 1+ YEAR

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Albertine M
5d · LEGEND

It's not pathetic at all! You should be proud - you're doing so well and you've worked hard. Enjoy the moments when you can see how far you've come x

Jeff M
5d · LEGEND

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Ian D
5d · 6+ MONTHS

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Anna D
4d · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
4d · LEGEND

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Manda P
4d · LEGEND

Yep, that is definitely not pathetic. You should be so proud! It's a big deal! 😘

Alicia B
4d · LEGEND

Thank you guys

John T
4d · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
3d · HERO

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nixiblu .
3d · HERO

Yay you. X

Jen B
3d · HERO

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Feeling much better today but decided to take the day off from going outside. Slept in, tidied up my room and just chilled. Going to work soon.
nixiblu .
6d · HERO

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Manda P
6d · LEGEND

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Tayla O
6d · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
4d · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
11 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
I've had a flashback episode last night followed by a long panic attack and now I'm completely drained and filled with self-loathing. And yet I don't know how to rate this because my bestie has made
Alicia B
11 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

me laugh and feel cared for and happy

Alicia B
11 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

So I guess it's a 5? Or a 6? I don't know. Whatever it is I'm feeling so lucky.

corrado M
11 Jan 2020 ·

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John T
11 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Astrid R
11 Jan 2020 ·

Something similar happened to me last night

Tayla O
7d · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
6d · LEGEND

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Manda P
6d · LEGEND

Panic attacks are the worst! So sorry you went through that.

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7 Alicia B
10 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Doing good though low on energy. Watched The Unicorn Store tonight. It's cute.
Jeff M
10 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
10 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Tayla O
10 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
11 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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8 Alicia B
08 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Work week done. I feel much better after telling my best friend and lovey about my anxiety and the thoughts behind it. He's the best and I love him to bits.
Manda P
08 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
08 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Glad you have someone like that!

Robert H
08 Jan 2020 · GUARDIAN

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Tayla O
08 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Jen B
08 Jan 2020 · HERO

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nixiblu .
08 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Ian D
09 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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6 Alicia B
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Very quiet night at work. Too quiet! Used the time to read and do some emotional literacy exercises. I've been slacking. Happy times will do that to you :) I'm worried about a lot of things but very
Alicia B
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

grateful for everything I've got right now. I'm scared of the future sometimes, but it was not so long ago that I felt I had no future at all. As a matter of fact, I've felt like that for years. Being worried is ok. It's only human.

Alicia B
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

I'm doing the best I can and I'm planning on keeping at it.

tEnT S
06 Jan 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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Taylor S
06 Jan 2020 ·

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Taylor S
06 Jan 2020 ·

You're correct, it's only human. Proud that you've accepted that fact, it's the first step of improving your mental health. Don't be too worried about your future, focus on the moment when it's happening, and when the future comes you'll be ready. :)

nixiblu .
06 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Jeff M
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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John T
06 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Alicia B
07 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, Taylor

Jen B
07 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Aurora R
08 Jan 2020 ·

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6 Alicia B
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Listening to some music by the light of a candle. I haven't done this in years. It's pretty magical. Kiwi the cat is sitting next to me staring at the candle, too.
John C
05 Jan 2020 ·

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John T
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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me M
05 Jan 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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nixiblu .
05 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Jeff M
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

There are all sorts of great meditation techniques focusing on the flame of a candle. It's powerful!

Tayla O
05 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
05 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

I looove candles & the name Kiwi for a cat! 😻

Anna D
05 Jan 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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9 Alicia B
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
I've finished a painting today. It's really saying everything I wanted it to and that's an amazing feeling. Only problem is that it's very, very triggering for anyone who might cut. I'm not going to
Alicia B
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

post it on insta for that reason. I've even triggered myself tbh. Tomorrow's a new day though, and today has been a useful experience.

Tayla O
02 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
02 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
02 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
02 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

I'm glad you shared it. It is a such a powerful piece!

Alicia B
04 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, Manda, I hope it was ok

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8 Alicia B
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND
Happy New Year, pandas!
Manda P
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Manda P
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Happy Happy New Year, my dear friend, Alicia! I hope this coming year is your best yet. Thank you for being so amazing! xx

Shelley H
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Shelley H
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

Happy New Year Alicia xxx

nixiblu .
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

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Tayla O
01 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

Happy new year xx

Tayla O
01 Jan 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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Anna D
01 Jan 2020 · 1+ YEAR

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Alicia B
01 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, Manda, and I hope this year is your best as well! It's got the makings of it, right?

Manda P
02 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

It sure does!

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6 Alicia B
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Feeling better now that I'm taking meds at the same time every day. It's such a relief to feel stable, and not my usual feeling of never being on solid ground and like I'm made of glass. Let's hope
Alicia B
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

it lasts, eh? Spent som

Alicia B
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Stupid phone. Spent some time with I's relatives, it was boring but not stressful. Not for Lee

Alicia B
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Jeeezus! Not for me. I'm at work now. Had a nice night. Going home in an hour.

Bea M
30 Dec 2019 ·

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Jimbob W
30 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Metron A
30 Dec 2019 · SUPPORTER

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Tayla O
30 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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corrado M
30 Dec 2019 ·

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Manda P
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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me M
30 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
30 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Glad it wasn't stressful. That's so tough to manage. Also glad you are taking your meds properly. That really helps things out.

nixiblu .
01 Jan 2020 · HERO

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John T
02 Jan 2020 · LEGEND

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6 Alicia B
27 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
I would like to share an experience I've had with my SSRI's. They seemed to be working very well but then I started going to work, which is at night so I started taking the pills at very different
Alicia B
27 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

times (midday or 6pm) and they've basically stopped working. I got depressed and started feeling fragile and unstable. After taking them at the same times for a few days I am feeling better. So, you know, watch out for that.

Bea M
28 Dec 2019 ·

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Tayla O
28 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
28 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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corrado M
28 Dec 2019 ·

hm. i used to take it at 7:50 before going out but then it's the holidays so in the last week i took them at different times (between 9.30 and 11 depends on the day) and i felt i was getting worse.

corrado M
28 Dec 2019 ·

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nixiblu .
28 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Manda P
28 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Meds are such a pain. I know I can't sleep at night until I take mine & I don't even have a sleeping pill.

Albertine M
29 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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6 Alicia B
24 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
I'm very sleepy today but I'm going to talk about things that were good this year. A very meaningful and important relationship in my life has grown and become stronger (I think). I've found a job
Jen B
24 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Alicia B
24 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

that I enjoy. I've started taking SSRI's for the first time. I've become more stable and a little more confident. Alex's moved out so my life has become much less stressful. People that are important to me have been in good health for the most part.

Alicia B
24 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

It's been a good year. I'm rather flat as I'm writing this but that's because I'm tired and in a depressive phase. Even so, I'm very grateful for everything and everyone. Especially for Pandas! Happy holidays.

Shelley H
24 Dec 2019 · HERO

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corrado M
24 Dec 2019 ·

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me M
24 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
24 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
24 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

❤️❤️❤️ The happiest of holidays to you, Alicia! ❤️❤️❤️

Tayla O
24 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
25 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
22 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
I've had a brilliant dream. I came to earth from another planet with my parents the brain-sucking leeches. They would attach at the temples and suck some of my brain out every night. It felt only a
Alicia B
22 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

little uncomfortable, and kind of homey and predictable. I realized though that in time they will suck out too much and I'll turn into a leech myself. So I pulled them out of my brain (which hurt) and threw them on the ground and stomped on them so

Alicia B
22 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

they would never find the way back. The unfamiliar planet looked frightening and lonely. The house where I tried to make a home was shabby and felt unsafe, but it was better than the prison of leech hypnosis. The end.

Manda P
22 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
22 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Glad you were able to make it out with the leeches. Sounds frightening!

Tayla O
23 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Spacekitten V
23 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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nixiblu .
23 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Anna D
23 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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John T
25 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
I did good. Didn't mess up, didn't forget anything. Didn't have the time to get enough sleep today (appointment at the hairdresser's), so feeling tired and sleepy.
Aurora R
18 Dec 2019 ·

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John T
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Tayla O
18 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Jen B
18 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Anna D
18 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Ian D
19 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Jeff M
19 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Nori K
21 Dec 2019 ·

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5 Alicia B
17 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
I'm very worried about working alone tonight. But that's the whole point of being a night porter! (I know, I know, it's hilarious). Let's hope it's a calm night. It is supposed to be as far as I know.
corrado M
17 Dec 2019 ·

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Mark D
17 Dec 2019 ·

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Emily W
17 Dec 2019 ·

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Tayla O
17 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Anna D
18 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Jeff M
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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John T
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
17 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Last shift with a colleague, tomorrow I've got my first night alone. I'm looking forward to it but I'm a little worried, too. Mood is much better by now but I'm not back to enjoying life again yet.
Alicia B
17 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

I should have put a 1 last time and a 4 today, but I've received the most wonderful early Christmas present and it's kept me happy even in parallel to the crisis.

Bea M
17 Dec 2019 ·

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Robert H
17 Dec 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Metron A
17 Dec 2019 · SUPPORTER

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Jeff M
17 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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me M
17 Dec 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Tayla O
17 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
18 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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5 Alicia B
16 Dec 2019 · LEGEND
Had my first public dance performance. Enjoyed it, hated myself in the video though, plus got triggered by one other performance. I did OK, I didn't forget any moves, and I've only had 5 classes in
Alicia B
16 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

this style, plus my knee, so I really should cut myself some slack, but I was triggered and I felt like a disgusting, fat, horrible troll and really wanted to self harm. I didn't though. Now going to work.

Penelope P
16 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
16 Dec 2019 · HERO

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Manda P
16 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
16 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

I'm sure you looked beautiful out there! Well done on not self harming. That must've been tough. xx

Alicia B
17 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

Thank you, Manda panda

Jeff M
17 Dec 2019 · LEGEND

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Tayla O
17 Dec 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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