included. (Talking of stones because I got me a rose quartz pendant. And a hexagon one , turns out that has spiritual significance too. Anyway). My hopes are: getting in touch with the higher self. Be more giving, forgiving and kind. Worry less about
what I'm getting, stop trying to read people's minds, stop trying to foresee the future. Practice acceptance, fearlessness and self-sufficiency.
love me, or had doubts so strong they poisoned the whole thing for me. In a way, being certain I'm unloved is comfortable for me. It's easier, less anxiety-inducing, it feels like home. My childhood home. Lonely, cold and hopeless.
I need a change...
Get out of your comfort zone and feel the love
Sounds familiar to me too. X
never happen. Keeping the emotions deemed 'bad' to myself. They are just emotions produced by my badly wired brain. They're not my fault. What if all the bad premonitions are correct though? I don't know how I'd deal with that.
antidepressants or even going off them for an experimental while. I've survived 35 years without them, after all, and they weren't all bad, and it's not like I've been particularly happy on them. It's up and down anyway, and the problem is the
intensity. DBT will help with that.
Sounds like the meltdown was a purging. Glad you emerged the better from it.
better even after two days! Good luck to me.
Of course you will get through this :)
Bye bye, wierd mole!
Thank you guys 😊
Weighted blankets are the bomb!
You're doing great! Keep painting!
Thanks guys 😊
It's great! I hope the happy phase will be the longest possible :)
Thank you, Anna!
several times he thinks reading personal things like journals and messages is one of the worst things he can imagine
I still feel uneasy about keeping a journal in the home, trust issues and all.
believe it, so I don't really feel bad. The day has been tough for me, I've cried for most of it, but I got a bouquet and takeaway from E., and he's been so good to me that I can't help but feel really happy from time to time, when I get a lot of
attention. I am an insatiable black hole of longing, and it's never, never too much affection.
Tonight has been better than previous nights because I got my Propranolol. Even though I'm on a super low dose, turns out it helps with my anxiety. Tempted to ask if I can take more. Will ask psychiatrist on the 8th.
Sorry to hear abt your sister. Most people would be terrified to receive a cancer diagnosis.
Thank you, love. She is terrified,.it's a dangerous one
That's really great!
a lot of the time, and still she is unhappy that she eats things 'one is not supposed to eat', like candy and ice cream and cheese and other fatty stuff... I mean, you've just had a brush with death, you may well have a dangerous type of cancer, and
yet you are still obsessed with weight loss or not gaining it, anyway. Main news of the week (according to sis)? Younger son has lost weight. God, my family is weird. All of them, completely obsessed with the way they look, especially their (and my)
weight. And so was I before j read Intuitive Eating and worked on myself. I still am obsessed, to an extent. But putting looks above all is a losing game. We're all getting older, and so are out partners and potential partners... Are we going to deny
ourselves love and closeness and sex , cause we're all getting older and less attractive? *** no! I,.for one, intend to have sex for as long as I physically can.😁
that would be unbearable? I don't know. I'm just scared. Nothing has ever been good for long. No-one has ever been reliable. My roots go deep into the hollow. Will this fear ever end? They say there is such a thing as a corrective experience. Not all
relationships are doomed, there is like a 10% chance. One thought I find soothing. As people come into your life and go, try and bring something
into their life to make it a tiny bit better. Everything else is in the hands of gods. 😊
to preserve it. Moving to a new apartment. A new romantic relationship that is definitely one of the most important ones of my life. A diagnosis of BPD. My first attempts at therapy. Taking responsibility for my life and my heart. It's been
life-changing, and I haven't even mentioned the pandemic yet. May we have some peace, some healing and lots of love in 2021.
experienced the utter, devastating despair that their own mind imposed on them? I know it's just a word. Everyone has a right to it, and they are using it as a positive one rather than a derogatory...that's a good thing. Still, I'm irritated.
I understand you. It's because you can't imagine the psychical pain unless you live it, so it makes them overuse the word 'crazy'.
This bothers me too. Most of them have no clue about being truly “crazy” & it's just a bad look for mental illness.
is fine, everything is great, actually, it's the way I always wanted. Minus the parallel Goblinverse, in which negative thoughts keep on turning and turning in my head making me paranoid and scared. How come I can't allow myself the tiniest hope
that my heart won't be broken anytime soon?