6.2 avg
  804 days
  5184 hugs
  133 followers
Vogue and a hike today. Now home, tired and wanting to chill. Forgot my phone when I went out and not being connected to J has made me feel lost. Can't live without that man.
Manfred F
22h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22h · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
22h · LEGEND

That's so sweet. I bet he feels the same about you!

Alicia B
21h · LEGEND

Thank you, Manda, I don't know if he does :) but maybe yeah

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I's mum visiting. Her kid is back with us. I wish I was somewhere else with someone else right now.
Ann J
2d ·

*Hugs*

Johnya T
2d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
2d · HERO

*Hugs*

Ann L
2d ·

*Hugs*

Manfred F
2d ·

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Manda P
21h · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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I've had the loveliest day today hanging out with J. online. We chatted, we read a book, we laughed our entire heads off. I can't wait to be together irl. It's going to be amazing.
Laura B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d · LEGEND

So glad you guys have each other! 💞

P B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Johnya T
4d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
3d · LEGEND

Thank you, Manda, so am I :)

Anna D
3d · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

me M
3d · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

K T
2d · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

K T
2d · 6+ MONTHS

Sounds great, Alicia! Glad you had a good day! :)

nixiblu .
2d · HERO

*Hugs*

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Arkadiy the Pegasus is back home! That's my bicycle, that's what I call him, and he needed some maintenance, and he is better than ever now. Will celebrate with a long ride tomorrow. Yay!
Shelley H
6d · HERO

*Hugs*

Jen B
6d · HERO

*Hugs*

Macaila F
5d · NEW

*Hugs*

Macaila F
5d · NEW

*hugs*

Anna D
5d · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Johnya T
5d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

👍

nixiblu .
4d · HERO

*Hugs*

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4 Alicia B
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Had vogue early afternoon, looked at myself dancing and thought 'hey, you look pretty good, gurl!'. Then changed at home to go cycling, caught a glimpse in the mirror here and suddenly felt so huge
Alicia B
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

and ugly. My brain is something. Man, mood swings suck.

Andreas F
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
28 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
28 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

Every time you think you're ugly, just remember the times you think you're pretty :) I'm sure you are pretty.

Laura B
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

P B
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manfred F
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Tayla O
29 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

You are beautiful & never forget it. Let's try to come up with some nice things to say about ourselves. We sure do have caring hearts! 💞

Johnya T
7d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
7d · LEGEND

I think I'm good at listening and understanding people. I sure do try :)

Manda P
7d · LEGEND

I think I'm a great listener, too!

nixiblu .
7d · HERO

*Hugs*

Spacekitten V
6d · 1+ YEAR

You are all strong and I admire that. I guess I get stronger everyday, too. The fact that people take the time to hug other pandas, or even react to some, makes you all beautiful, caring people. Alicia, treat yourself like you would treat your best f

Spacekitten V
6d · 1+ YEAR

Your best friend!

Johnya T
6d · LEGEND

Yeah! Treat yourself like you treat your best friend!

Alicia B
6d · LEGEND

💜 right back at you, Spacekitten

Manda P
6d · LEGEND

Great words, Spacekitten!

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4 Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I hate the way I look. Is it because my brain defaults to this feeling so that it doesn't have to worry about other stuff, or is it just because I'm a huge fat big enormous blob? According to the
Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Internet, I am

Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I am in the middle of the overweight spectrum. I'm not obese, I just need to lose like 8 kilos and I'll be with the norm

Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Do I really have to be horrified by the way I look? Can't it be seen in a different way? I feel fine, I lead an active life, my weight does not stop me from doing anything I like doing. Why the *** do I need to give it a second thought? I'm so tired

Anna D
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

You're not a fat blob. I'm sure you're a cute person. If you are healthy, there's nothing to be worried about on your weight! ❤️

corrado M
27 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

me M
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

me M
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

Anna is right

Johnya T
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Ann L
27 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, girls :)

Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

You're beautiful, Alicia! Beauty comes in all different sizes. I'm not happy with my weight either. My therapist reminds me that I'm a woman & am supposed to have some curves.

nixiblu .
27 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Jen B
27 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tayla O
27 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Alicia B
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, Mandy. We shouldn't even be worrying about this stuff this much, we are loved and cared about. But... It is what it is.

Manda P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Exactly, girl!

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5 Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I. is quite unhappy with how little I seem to want to participate in our life together. I enjoy my solo bike rides too much, I don't tell her how long I'll be gone, I don't bring in enough money,
Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I don't seem to want to spend time together, and I'm just too cold overall. It's all true, of course. I've always felt kind of tense around her, and I've never been so very in love that I would want to spend every free moment with her.

Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I suddenly find myself being just as distant as my ex. I'm not a great partner, I guess. Then again, it's not like I've ever had my needs met. Why would I be happy and grateful and full of ideas of things to do together?

Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

On the other hand, aren't joint art projects a thing to do together that only I invent around here? Ugh.

Alicia B
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

This needs to end.

Manfred F
27 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
27 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Johnya T
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Anna D
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Tayla O
27 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

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7 Alicia B
26 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Cycled to and back from the psychiatrist appointment. It was nice. I am soon to be assessed for BPD. My sweet potato mock pizza has turned out as mush, but it tasted great. I don't know what I'm more
Alicia B
26 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

afraid of, finding out I do have BPD, or that I don't have it

Alicia B
26 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

June is almost over. I'm going back to work in July. I am waiting for October to come. Please, universe, make my wish come true.

Ann L
26 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Kris B
26 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Laura B
26 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
26 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Shelley H
26 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manfred F
26 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Tayla O
27 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

me M
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
27 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

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6 Alicia B
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Had double driving this morning, was so tense my back hurt. I need a massage. Went on a bike ride. I've got a helmet of my own now, it's ridiculously pink (as is my hair) and I love it. Will take the
Alicia B
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

paperwork to the driving school now, then cook and eat, then go back to school for a theory lesson. It's kind of nice, being busy. I've missed the escape of it.

Manfred F
24 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Johnya T
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Ann L
24 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tayla O
25 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

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6 Alicia B
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Got some things off my chest. Feeling numbed out. Back in the saddle today! Did a lazy 25 k, my knees feel tired.
Manfred F
23 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
23 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Peter R
23 Jun 2020 · NEW

*Hugs*

Tayla O
24 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Johnya T
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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5 Alicia B
22 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I. has asked me some questions I don't quite know how to answer, or maybe I just don't have the balls yet. I'll have to give myself a little more time.
nixiblu .
22 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Johnya T
22 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Anna D
23 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Tayla O
24 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

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6 Alicia B
21 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I. says: 'I think I'm too simple for you. Too normal'. I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. Ever since I was a kid. Even my elder sister has said that (more than once). I. says about her
Alicia B
21 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

boyfriend: 'he is a simple man', and smiles. This is why I'm on moodpanda. I like complexity, because it's me. I say about J.: 'he is as weird, if not weirder than me' and can't help lighting up like a chandelier.

Alicia B
21 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I'm home.

corrado M
21 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Johnya T
21 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Ann J
21 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

me M
21 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
21 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
21 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

Weird and complex people are great :)

Alicia B
21 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Yasssss, Anna 😊

nixiblu .
21 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tayla O
22 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I'm definitely a fan of weird & complex people! We are the spice of life. So thankful you have J!

Alicia B
22 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Were the real spice girls xD

Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

😂😂😂

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6 Alicia B
19 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Feeling better thanks to support from J. He is the best! Done my hair lilacy pink, it's uncomfortably bright again :)
nixiblu .
19 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Shelley H
19 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tayla O
20 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Johnya T
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Yay you two! That hair colour sounds great

Manda P
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
20 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I wanna see the hair!

Once logged in you can be part of the community
3 Alicia B
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
8 days in a row does not technically make it a depression, but I'm going with calling it that anyway. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be sober for this, but I am. I can't stop crying when I'm
Alicia B
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

alone. It feels like... Like I've lost my small child at a supermarket, and there is still hope but I am dying inside. I don't have any kids, I'm just guessing.

Alicia B
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

It feels like someone's just died, and I can't quite believe it yet, but I'm grieving.

me M
18 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
18 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Ann L
18 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Johnya T
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Tayla O
18 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Oh, no. I'm so sorry your are feeling this way. Don't give in to the drink! Lots of love. 💞

Nicole H
19 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks, Manda.

nixiblu .
19 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

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6 Alicia B
17 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Having a first aid course today, feeling sleepy and bored. Irritable lately. Driving was fun though. Unsettled, could be a side effect of Bupropion.
Spacekitten V
17 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Johnya T
17 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
18 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tayla O
18 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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5 Alicia B
16 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Slightly anxious all day before my first driving lesson with an actual instructor. It was moved from early afternoon to evening. Hope it goes by quick.
Anna D
16 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Snail M
16 Jun 2020 ·

I'm learning to drive too. I have bad anxiety about it. I wish I'd learned younger

Alicia B
16 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

It was actually great fun for me today. Yay!

Alicia B
16 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Snail, hope you learn to like it, too. Big hugs.

Johnya T
16 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Snail M
17 Jun 2020 ·

Thanks. Just being in cars as a passenger makes me nervous 🙈

nixiblu .
18 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tayla O
18 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

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4 Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
The last episode has triggered distrust and overthinking in me that I can't shake. I am really bad at romantic relationships. I am a good friend, relative, colleague, but being in love feels so
Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

vulnerable. It does feel great as well, don't get me wrong, but not when the goblin is doing their thing.

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

This is a problem. I need to fix it. I'm not sure I can. I need therapy.

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I have finally seen the Goblin, I know where they are coming from, I know now why I've been avoiding loving anyone for so long. I am much more aware but I still feel all the same things. For the first time I'm not sure I can change anything.

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

And if I don't? I'll ruin everything with J. The only way I can come at the problem right now is letting go of control as much as possible. Don't try to control the other's feelings. Don't try to control your own. Let yourself feel. You know life is

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

not worth living when you suppress everything. A relationship is not worth much without trust, but hopefully you'll get it back. Hopefully, soon.

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Especially since it's more of a faith issue, really. Not religious faith, but faith in humans and in connections they make.

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Could I conceivably have faith in something I've never experienced? Maybe I just need time. And therapy, yes.

Johnya T
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Max T
15 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Ann L
15 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

corrado M
15 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
18 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Quiet day, long walk in the woods, wrong shoes but still nice. Shoulder is very sore where I took some skin off as I fell. The only clothes I can bear on it is my silk dressing gown. Feeling queenly.
Shelley H
15 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Beth W
15 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Johnya T
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Anna D
15 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
18 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Alicia B
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
A cat has jumped out in front of me as I was cycling. Cat's fine, but I've ripped my bad knee to shreds. Otherwise a nice day. It's weird, how injuries almost make my mood better. It's a pity I won't
Alicia B
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

be able to go for a bike ride for at least a week. I was getting into a nice routine there.

Alicia B
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

This morning was lovely, I am very much in love and getting over my episode.

Robert H
14 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Manfred F
14 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
14 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Shelley H
14 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Shelley H
14 Jun 2020 · HERO

Feel better my friend XXX

Tayla O
14 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

corrado M
14 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, bearsies

Manda P
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Sorry to hear you messed up your knee again. Hope you have a quick recovery. So happy you are doing well! 💞

Johnya T
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Alicia B
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, Manda, it looks horrific, but it's just a flesh wound. It'll be fine, though it probably won't be pretty.

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Alicia B
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Working on a painting called 'never beyond repair' last night really helped. As did a talk today and some cycling. But most of all it was a breakthrough in talking to Goblin (if I had DID, they
Alicia B
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

would be a protector/prosecutor). As soon as I made a promise not to kill myself whatever happens next, they stopped torturing me. Makes sense, if I'm dead, they're dead too! The sense of relief that washed over me as soon as I made that promise was

Alicia B
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

incredible. I am still a bit sad, a bit frightened, and since I've stopped suppressing my emotions I feel like I'm skinless, and everything is just too intense. But that's life, I guess. That's who I am

Alicia B
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

No use trying to pretend.

Alicia B
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Persecutor, of course *eyeroll*

Manfred F
12 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Sending love, sweet friend. xx

Ann L
12 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Ann L
12 Jun 2020 ·

Hold on my friend.

Alicia B
12 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you, lovelies

Jen B
12 Jun 2020 · HERO

❤️

Tayla O
13 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Johnya T
14 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community