Aimed for more 'alkaline' foods for dinner, and watched some videos online of 'counselor carl' on codependency. Went to some social things earlier too, not a bad day. Time for a cup of tea now :)
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fine, i'm slightly in pain and rather worn out... maybe i'll have a proper rest like i was actually intending to do!

11 Oct 2019

thank you both for the hugs :) I did have a rest that night, watched a documentary series I needed to catch up on

13 Oct 2019
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Feeling good. Don't sweat the small stuff. There's always a hope; leaning into friendship really helps.
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Tired. I've got so much to do but can hardly concentrate. Been lying down for a while. Time to get some food now, I think. Wondering what my friends are up to but don't want to bother them

You can always send them a text, can't you. If they are busy, they won't answer, but you won't disturb them.

21 Apr 2018

I often feel like I'm bothering them anyway, but yes that is a point :) Thanks for the reminder.

22 Apr 2018
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Feeling a little overwhelmed recently. Happy to see MP is still here along with some familiar pandas :) I found out about this site about a year ago and remember it helped me to calm down sometimes.

thanks for the hugs!

21 Apr 2018
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Cute cat gif for whoever needs it: https://giphy.com/gifs/cat-kisses-hugs-MDJ9IbxxvDUQM/fullscreen :)
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I have been isolating myself (in real life) out of fear. I forgive myself and am now choosing to seek greater connection with others again so that I can be a kinder, better person and a better friend.
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Am considering taking a break from MP, in terms of posting at least. But am so grateful, and feel touched by the kindness I've seen and received. This is such a lovely place and I'm glad it exists. :)

It's also been a good reminder to me, that it's okay to feel sad, anxious, lonely, unconfident. Sometimes bad things happen that are not our fault, and it can really hurt to experience the aftermath of these things, but even if we can't change the

17 Jun 2017

past, there are little things we can do now to look after ourselves better and be in a better position to change things tomorrow. I'm just repeating cliches here probably, but this site has reminded me of the need to just not be so harsh on myself..

17 Jun 2017

and maybe to not be afraid of being brave sometimes. :) *hugs* to anyone who reads this, anyhow.

17 Jun 2017

Big hugs and take care x

17 Jun 2017

Look after yourself Natalia <3

17 Jun 2017

A lot of beauty and wisdom in your post. It's a celebration of kindness and connection, acceptance and present moment awareness. There's gratitude and self-compassion. These are all beautiful qualities we can continue cultivating on or off MP. Be well

17 Jun 2017

Thank you for the hugs Pandas, and thanks for commenting, Ali, Cindy, Love. Your words means a lot, thank you. You take care, too, all of you. Xx :)

20 Jun 2017
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Had a really good day... spending time with lovely people + facing certain anxieties. 'Anxiety' makes me feel a little vulnerable but it's okay. Doing what I can will probably make me stronger.

Thanks Jeff, Cindy, Lou and Garry :)

16 Jun 2017

it is okay to be vulnerable, to feel anxious when uncertainties arise.

16 Jun 2017

Thanks Binky and Love. x

17 Jun 2017
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I'm so sleepy, a bit bored and a bit lonely. Today wasn't too bad though.

sleepy and a bit lonely here, too! That's why I'll go to bed, to escape the loneliness. Being tired makes everything worse.

14 Jun 2017

Thanks, L. *Hugs for you too* I agree, being tired sucks. Sleep is good :)

15 Jun 2017

Getting a good rest does help, definitely

15 Jun 2017
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Reflective. Want to confess a secret: I isolate myself a lot because I hate the thought of being looked at or seen. Being perceived, defined, judged perhaps. Worried to tell anyone 'case it sounds mad

Yet feel like it is driving me mad sometimes. I spend a lot of time getting dressed almost every day because I often feel my clothes make me look bad. Then I end up feeling so drained sometimes

13 Jun 2017

because I can't wear anything without feeling like I'm just not quite right, or good enough. Then I end up feeling mega selfish for thinking about myself so much. Plus I end up neglecting my physical

13 Jun 2017

and social needs, which is silly of me. I'm working on my shopping habits at the moment, trying to get some new clothes, but it's hard to get the balance right between what clothes I like

13 Jun 2017

and what actually looks and feels good altogether. Whenever I try and tell people about it, they seem to think it's pretty trivial, but it upsets me more than anyone seems to realise.

13 Jun 2017

I simply don't have many clothes I can comfortably wear, because I have isolated myself for years, whether because of bullying incidents or introversion or just finding it hard to be social.

13 Jun 2017

It's not a good mix. Not sure what else I can do, other than keep working on improving my wardrobe. Want to find ways to improve my confidence but it's hard to exercise a muscle when it is so fatigued.

13 Jun 2017

Hi Natalie. Sound really difficult not being comfortable in your own skin and worrying about being judged. Not

13 Jun 2017

Not sure if changing the wardrobe helps or perhaps working on the confidence to be happy in your appearance is the key to your happiness?

13 Jun 2017

Thanks for commenting, Noel. Not sure yet, I'll try to work on both. Just not sure how to work on confidence yet. I want to start volunteering soon to get out more. It's been hard for me at uni. I just wish there were some little things I could do.

13 Jun 2017

You're welcome Natalie. I think working of confidence is hard. I find I am vain about my appearance but not always confident in the company of others. I am more confident when I am liking myself (reflected in my Panda score)

13 Jun 2017

Sorry auto correct changed your name Natalia

13 Jun 2017

Thanks everyone for the hugs and comments. Xx

13 Jun 2017
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Evening: caught up with some friends and then watched some tv. Wish I wasn't so socially awkward.
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Afternoon: felt ill (sore throat, probably from not eating well), low confidence, skipped lunch again cause I was meant to get shopping but didn't know what to wear out. Need to do laundry.
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Sunday night: ate dinner late but glad I ate at all. Pretty much had to, was really dizzy. Changed to comfier clothes first. Then watched some OITNB :) and did some little tasks I'd been putting off.

Thanks for the hug, Jeff. x

12 Jun 2017

Look after yourself dear Natalia - know it's not always easy x

12 Jun 2017

Thanks for the hug, Cindy. I'll try :)

13 Jun 2017
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Feel guilty for letting silly fears get in the way of not being a better friend. But I'm trying. Got to move on and get on with things; hopefully I'll feel better about myself today.
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Feel really drained, not sure if it's because of: skipping lunch, eating sugary snacks, stressing out at the thought of going out, stressing over my appearance, overthinking in general.. I'm hungry :(
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