hey it's been a while c': a lot of uneccessary things have happened in the past six months, and ive hurt a few whom i love so badly that they've left. i'm considering serious suicide and i need help.

there are obviously many other factors to why i'm feeling this way, but right now i just need help

30 Jan 2019

i dont even know what kind of help i need but i just need help

30 Jan 2019

Sorry you're having such a bad time. Have you seen a doctor?

30 Jan 2019

I've seen a councellor and a psychiatrist but nothings worked

30 Jan 2019

Please talk to someone. It's really good that you know you need help. Now find it. That's even harder, but it's clear you want that help. Talk to family or a friend. Talk to a professional (find a new one). Call a help line. Something!

30 Jan 2019

I'm so sorry to hear this, Elizabeth - hope Jeff's advice helps you. Keeping you in my thoughts

30 Jan 2019

Thanks, Jeff and Cindy - at least I've recognized that I need help :'D i just wish councelling and all that stuff was free

31 Jan 2019
Once logged in you can be part of the community
oi oi 14 exams down 4 to goOoOoo... So far pretty good though c:

And good luck to all students with their finals out there!! C:

23 May 2018

Wow! Welldone you!! If I had 18 exams, I think I would crack up! You're nearly there! Keep up the great work!! 👌🏽🤗

23 May 2018

18 exams, wow, that is so much.. and you are almost there!! Try to stay focused even for the last ones.

23 May 2018

Thanks, you guys :D I hope you all are doing well atm!

28 May 2018

Have you finished all the exams yet?

28 May 2018

No, two more weeks left C': Thank you for checking in!

05 Jun 2018

Almost there, well done!, it must have been so stressful! Proud of you for getting this far

05 Jun 2018
Once logged in you can be part of the community
IGCSE's upcoming C': slightly worried

Good luck with it. Do you feel you are prepared?

06 May 2018

Thanks :) And yeah I think so 😬 I hope so

06 May 2018

Do the best you can, that is all anyone can ask of you!! We will be thinking of you

06 May 2018

Thank you so much, Lieteke!! 😊 I'll do my best

07 May 2018
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Help MoodPanda - become a MoodPanda Patron

MoodPanda is here to help people.

We don't use adverts, and our community is free to join

Becoming a patron is a way to gift us with your support, to help us do what we do, and to help MoodPanda be here for others

Thank you for being a part of our community.

Really nice today. 😊 Haven't felt this refreshed in a while now

Really good to hear :)

04 May 2018

I hope you're doing great too :D

05 May 2018

That's important. Sounds like you got rest, a second wind... and the clarity that comes with that.

05 May 2018

Yeah I really did :D I hope you're doing great too ❤️

06 May 2018
Once logged in you can be part of the community
I hate overthinking what others think of me
Once logged in you can be part of the community
I'm honestly so grateful for my friends. So grateful for this community too c: Today felt good.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
how do you stop worrying about what others think and get the courage to ask for help?

Some will say if you love yourself (and you're the only one who sees who you really are), you won't care what others think. For me, I rebelled against what others think and took pride in being different and outcast, and I stopped caring.

02 May 2018

Regarding asking for help, that's hard. You have to just do it. Start small, maybe? Call a friend just to talk or bring up something minor with a parent or doctor? Ease your way into it, or leap in and admit you need help. That's the hardest step!

02 May 2018

Asking for help is a big thing! But it will make your life so much easier!! Just think of the worst thing that could happen ( and probably won't). So what if the say no, what if they laugh at you or think you are mad. You will survive it and move on.

02 May 2018

They most probable will be very happy to help you.

02 May 2018

Thanks Jeff and Lieteke C: I know for a fact I'm quite a sensitive person, so not caring will be kinda hard

03 May 2018

I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts though c:

03 May 2018

Also about asking for help, if i'm really honest i'm just scared of to what extent i'll be judged :'D

03 May 2018

And what if ypu try it anonymous, through a helpline? You can do it under another name. So even if they judge you, which they won't as they know you are struggling with something, they don't know who you are.

03 May 2018

Yeah I have considered it.. I hope it'll be a reliable site though

03 May 2018

Thanks by the way C:

03 May 2018
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Once logged in you can be part of the community
you make me smile even when i don't want to :)
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Thank you for showing me the difference between 'I am me' and 'I am LOOKING at me'. Thank you for helping me find a way to understand myself better than I ever have through just those 5 words.

The way we talk to ourselves matters. I am x vs A part of me is x or I am having the thought that I am x or I am experiencing x, does not negate the experience, but reframes it, giving us space, some distance to be objective.

11 May 2017
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Everything's stuck in a giant knot of confusion & fear. I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I start saying honest things. I'll hurt others, & I'll hurt myself. Some things are better knotted.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
i think i have the right key but just the wrong doors in my way

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time, Elizabeth, but your posts display such insight and lyricism that I 'enjoy' them (if you see what I mean:) ). Good to hear that you write - keep going with that. Big hugs xx

08 May 2017

hey Cindy, thank you for your kind awareness :) and yes I do enjoy writing a lot - I'm glad to hear you appreciate my updates :)) Hehe bigger hugs back!! I hope you're having a great day xx

09 May 2017

You will find the right door, I promise Elizabeth M. Drop kick that stupid door that is standing in the way!

09 May 2017

hehe thanks Luna!! I'm taking your advice for that one ;)

09 May 2017
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Whenever I try to start a conversation, it makes me sound so stupid, so hopeless. People get bored easily and walk away. I have so much to say, but I just don't know how to express my words correctly.

Sorry to hear that Elizabeth. No one is boring.

07 May 2017

hurts to be dismissed like that. Message to the world: your presence can be a real gift. Please, let's be kind to one another.

08 May 2017

You're wanting to be heard- no judgments, no walking away, no advice, just be present, listen, let's connect. is that it?

08 May 2017

Thanks, Rorschach :) I will try.

08 May 2017

Thanks, Noel. It's alright.

08 May 2017

Love: Thank you too -- and yes, I just want someone who can listen. They don't even need to talk... I just want someone who won't walk away.

08 May 2017

Thanks, Rorschach! I'll definitely check out that book. And I think that's a really good point you made there, I do try my best to avoid uncomfortable silences. I understand how being genuinely interested is important, I just feel like I give out

09 May 2017

a bad 'aura' before the conversation starts (if you get what I mean)... Then suddenly both of us feel slightly uncomfortable with each other's company, and so a conversation is avoided/ended quickly

09 May 2017

Although I do enjoy the silence with someone I'm comfortable with. In fact, I would actually prefer to have more 'silence' than actual conversations with another... Thank you so much for the insight Rorschach, I really do appreciate it :D

09 May 2017

That's a really good advice, Rorschach. This is something I still have to learn and to understand. I can be comfortably silent with people, but lately most of the time it's turned into uncomfortable for me because I think people are ignoring me.

09 May 2017

I've had this problem with one friend in particular. She enjoys talking as much as silence, while I'm constantly in need of attention. Not a good combination, and that's why it hasn't worked lately. I really need to work on myself.

09 May 2017

Carnegies book is a classic. I recommend it to my students. Another book on communication is Marshall Rosenbergs NonViolent Communication.

10 May 2017
Once logged in you can be part of the community
All of my words have been blown off the page. My page. My book. My book that used to hold me together. Now, pages have been ripped, torn out, lost. I could rewrite them, but empty pages are gone too.

That's a beautiful metaphor, I bet you could re-write anything, or write the story of your illness once you get better. It will get better, I promise, if you seek treatment and hang on in there, everything will be all right. Big hugs.

06 May 2017

Thanks, Asya :) I do enjoy writing, although sometimes I find it so hard to get the words out, even on paper hehe. Thank you so much for the support, I hope things will get better - and I wish you well too. Bigger hugs back XX

06 May 2017
Once logged in you can be part of the community
just because i'm cheerful doesn't mean the scars are gone. most people just don't seem to get that.

You're resilient. Sounds like you're needing caring atm. Sometimes the old scars prick

06 May 2017

My diary cares for me, and she's the one who keeps me strong most of the time hehe. But of course, thank you for your kind words. And the hugs - I really appreciate it. All of you. :)

06 May 2017

Diaries are good listeners. :) Mine date back 3 decades. A beloved English teacher introduced me to the practice.

06 May 2017

That's really nice. ^~^ It must feel good to flip through hundreds of previous entries and remind yourself how far you've come. I started writing mine 4 years ago, and I agree that diaries are great at listening <3

06 May 2017

It is interesting to see how goals and dreams change, how fears and anxieties dissipate,to see snapshots of how we think at any given point in time.

07 May 2017
Once logged in you can be part of the community