Start my new job tomorrow. Feeling anxious.
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Really not feeling too well today. Covid jab number 2 has made me feel really unwell, plus I'm lonely 😞
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Just had a nice date with builder Nick. Still no sexy time though. Grr. Maybe he's a gentleman and I'm just a Randy little tiger 🀣
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Been in a good mood all day. Worried it'll come crashing down around my ears soon. Hopefully my meds are a safety net.
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Adjusting to life on my own. Been broken up with boyfriend of 9 years since June now. Want to move on and find my Prince Charming
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Have a stinking cold but I feel ethereal. Just had a banana and some water. It's 4am. Lemsip on the go. Plus a herbal concoction I made. Calm and relaxed. A little on edge but I'll be ok.
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Can't sleep. Probably won't sleep all night. Tried everything. Sat colouring but even that's no match for the voices in my head. Grr.
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Sleepy. Glum. Emotional. Going through so much right now.
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Trip up north and a day out with the parents. Feeling good.
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Gradually recovering following a big ol' manic/psychotic episode. Signed off work till end of June. Sigh. At least I have time to recover.
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Didn't go to work. Trying to fight. This is hard.
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Been awake ALL NIGHT. Paranoid delusions. Fearful 😒
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Gone midnight. Should be asleep! Distracted and overthinking again! Grr! Must... sleep....
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Today has been HARD. 3 Drs appointments (one over phone), a hard chat with my manager, a chat with my old NHS coordinator. Feel drained. Still super anxious. Spent the afternoon sleeping. Repairing.
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Couldn't get an appointment at Dr. until 9:50, which means over an hour to wait. Cooked a nice breakfast. Eggs on toast & orange juice. Eating mindfully is lifting.

Good for you. Your breakfast sounds lovely. Yummy.

16 May 2018

Sure is. Cooking can be meditative, brings us deeper into the moment. Lots of delicious smells and colors and sounds, the chopping of onions, the cracking of eggs. Love the texture of food, too.

16 May 2018
anon u
  NEW

Yum!

18 May 2018
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Crying. Long shower full of rumination. Terrified of speaking to Dr. & even more terrified to let work know. Maybe they'll understand? Maybe they'll let me go? Sobbing. Feel like a child.

Thank you

16 May 2018

It's going to be okay Herbie. This will pass *big hugs*

16 May 2018

Hopefully. I'm in the middle of a mixed manic/depressive episode. A huge rollercoaster of ups and downs, twists and turns. It's confusing as hell :/ thank you for your support and hugs. It means a lot

16 May 2018

Thinking of youπŸ’œ

16 May 2018

Thank you Lieteke πŸ’•

16 May 2018

Hoping the tears help purge whatever was bottled up. A good cry now and then can be cathartic and relieving.

16 May 2018
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Just woke up. Brain is scrambled. Feel like I didn't sleep well... like maybe I was panicking in my sleep? Feel super tired but still... alert? Muddled.
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Almost midnight. Can't sleep. Feel hungry. Feet are cold. Baby next door is WAILING (she's teething) & I'm anxious about Dr. 2moro. Gonna discuss the mixed manic/depressive episode I'm going though
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Starting MoodPanda again. It's important to monitor my moods, but when I'm β€œOK”... sometimes I'm a bit β€œWhat's the point?” The point is, I have a dual invisible illness. This stuff is IMPORTANT.
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