more mindful and conscious of the things i think and say and some behaviours that im personally not happy with within myself. I also saw how my mood changed today when someone said a snide comment near me. My mood was off for a while after that and
I noticed my mood shift and thoughts process and tried to work on calming the feelings i had in those moments it felt like a struggle. But at some point i was over it. I have realised how much i need to work on allowing others words affect me because
Today what they said wasn't needed at all and I could understand the ignorance in the situation so i shouldnt have to overthink things when i know what it really was about but its shown me how quickly something can change my mood. I need to stop
Caring about unimportant things. I need to learn to let it go and not worry. My mood was really disturbed for some time and i went from super joyful to more quiet and mentally occupied with the thoughts.
But overall today i have learnt alot more about myself and i will keep working on the bad and the good
To better myself
But its ok im fine this morning.just a bit tired from sleeping late
I hope i wake up feeling good
I haven't felt like that in ages. Its triggered me a bit. And from the way i saw people acting there its put my mental state in a weird place where im fearing things. Being watched or been spoken about. Even though the girls were not talking about me
Or my friend just hearing them talk about people made me and her feel so odd being there. It was kind of funny cause me and her tried to escape the event. we were hiding for almost an hr till the coast was clear because people wanted us to come
Inside the main bit but we kept making excuses saying its hot in there. But we just felt so uncomfortable with the vibe that was there. Even when we walked in and said hi to everyone alot of them looked rude and some didn't say hi back which is fine
But its kind of rude. Its really not hard to be nice.
We knew it wasn't our type of vibe the minute we walked in. But what im feeling now is a fear of people for some weird reason. Im ok mentally still a bit shaky with my mental health but im stable. So i can handle these little random thoughts and f
Feelings but it did affect my anxiety. I like being around friendly people. I felt like i was around people that you see commenting on social media posts with alot of hate and negativity.
Feeling off, i still felt more comfortable around everyone else. I don't think i could hang out with her by myself. Theres nothing wrong with her shes cool but I feel very uncomfortable the anxiety i felt was weird. Maybe the vibe just isn't right.
I feel like i don't want to be around people for a while but ill need to be for certain things like work etc. I feel really sad but its not affecting me too bad. But i can tell that internally something is up maybe some painful past events are
Slightly in my mind. It feels distant whatever i am feeling or thinking.
Google is so bad sometimes. I know this. Be strong ❤️
night but spoke to my dad and felt better but was still worried a bit. Now I am worrying a little bit again. I will be able to sleep better tonight though just going to do yoga before i sleep now. Last night I felt my self in a depressive state cause
Of the worrying but it didnt trigger me too much. So I am alright.
Thanks Anna :)
I have had some decent birthdays but it never felt complete because i never felt present in each moment. Was just too depressed and i can remember how things felt mentally. I remember in 2015 i had a birthday that felt great based on the experience
But i pretended to be ok mentally i really wasnt. The next day i sat in my park being grateful for the experience and the great people but i also remember feeling hopeless that i was not mentally well
2015 was a good birthday for the blessings that i had that year but mentally was in pain. Now this time around i felt free mentally. I dont think i have ever experienced this before. An actual good birthday where i feel great and
I am not even pretending to be ok. I didnt celebrate but i had everything i needed family and lovely caring people and my time in the park. I can't explain how amazing i feel to just reflect on my day knowing i actually had a good one.
It feels like theres so much growth and healing. And i am still going strong mentally. Itl be a year depression free in 5months. Although ive felt up and down randomly i still was able to function and it just feels like im healing. Im very grateful.
I will continue to be grateful forever. This is such a big deal to me.😭😭😊
Next year itl be even better and i will keep having an increase in my mental health
Never a truer word said my friend. Whole heartedly agree 😳
I can over think many things two😺you are not alone 😺
I know the feeling..
That i 'might'not be able to make rehearsals because i finished one rehearsal that day and it made me weak so i said ill eat something and see how i feel to know if i can come. And the person in the chat had a go at me thinking that i just dont want
To come. I explained that my iron levels are low so I always get weak especially from doing too much he replied with 'Don't care'
I left the grp chat and i remember being ok the train crying i really tried to hold those tears in but it really hurt. And i was the only one who kept attending rehearsals when most people werent coming and they didnt know i was depressed
I remember when i was the only one that showed up and the studio was closed so we just sat in a cafe writing notes and he said to me i look so sad but i didnt know how to tell him i was depressed. But for him to make me feel so rubbish in the grp
Really got to me. This was years ago but seeing the reminder on my phone as my phone saves things on photos app it wasnt a pleasant memory.
I saw more of another situation with other people for a very pointless misunderstanding. And then i saw photos of a memory that i didnt feel ready to delete but it upset me a bit seeing it.
I can see growth within myself from those times.im proud of me.if i was depressed now seeing those memories would have put me in the spiral that i end up in when i start believing im a bad person and all the negative thoughts that comes with it