Hard to stay present and enjoy moment w friends.
We all do that. The issue is we care more about our actions than others do in reality. What seems big to us is small to others. If we can learn to realise that something's are not worth worrying about it will help us massively.
You're not the only one that gets such thoughts, and you won't be the last...I've been there myself. There are most certainly many many people in your life that really care about you, so please don't ever think otherwise!
Thoughts of wanting to tell ppl that I'm not okay or that I am like this because of my past... hurts my head
Low back probs here too.