I've been extremely busy with work these past days but now it's over. It's the first time I take part in the historical re-enactment in my city and even if I was so busy serving drinks I didn't--

really SEE the competition properly, it was a very nice atmosphere!! I'm just very tired now and I got a bad sunburn on my back. I'm happy I took part in this event!!!

16 Jun 2019
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I've been sick all day and I'm starting to worry there's something worse than I thought behind these (increasingly) frequent episodes. I should check a doctor soon, but I'm scared to find out
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I've been working lots and I'm happy I'm receiving some nice feedback. It seems I'm doing things right and it's been a huge boost for my self-esteem! Just wish my best friend would understand me more.

Like, I know we used to talk way more than this, but I'm absent for a very good reason. He should be happy for me instead of pushing me away even more, and it makes me sad I might be losing him for... getting a job?? I hope it'll pass

09 Jun 2019
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My first night of work went perfectly! I was scared I'd make mistakes but everything went smoothly and I even had fun. I hope this good mood will last, I haven't been this happy in months! :D
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Just came back from the rehearsal of the games that will be held at the historical Palio. I'll be an official judge and I'm a little scared of making mistakes... but also very happy! It'll be fun :)
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Had fun today calling a far away friend and watching things together. We're slowly growing close and I like this feeling. A little anxious about my first night of volunteer work, but also excited :)
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Nice day so far. Apparently my ex is obsessed with the idea I'm spying on her on social networks, which is obviously fake - I unfollowed her everywhere and I haven't even *opened* her profile in days.

It's pretty obvious at this point that everything she accused me of was a stupid lie and I'm absolutely innocent. It may sound selfish, but I am relieved. At least I know I'm a better person than she is.

04 Jun 2019
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I'm starting to enjoy being by myself again. I guess some initial loneliness was predictable. After all I'm single after 6 years AND I just moved to another region. I felt like my life would be-

-over now that I'm all alone again. But it's not, and maybe a breakup is what I needed to understand I need to appreciate myself more instead of always wishing for others to stay with me.

03 Jun 2019
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It's been a promising day so far. I'm not anxious for once, and I even made some progress with my Spanish lessons. Now I just hope nothing ruins this peace, maybe I can breathe today
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I wish I could have some peace for once. I was already feeling horrible about my ex cutting ties with me entirely, and now my best friend isn't even *trying* to understand I need some alone time.

I spent a nice evening with my parents though, so at least I feel a little better than this morning.

31 May 2019
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Woke up to realize M unfollowed me everywhere. I know it's a natural consequence and that it would be pointless to follow each other if we don't talk, but still... so it's over for real this time

I'm just scared of all the rumors she's going to spread around since she's absolutely sure I did something bad, even if I proved to her I did not. Knowing people hate me and talk behind my back is exhausting even if we live far away from each other

31 May 2019
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I feel a little better after going out with some friends. It will take a long while to forget what happened this morning with M, but if she was making up problems between us that didn't even exist-

-then maybe it's better for me that things went this way, so I'm free from a fake friendship that would have led me nowhere. I just wish it didn't hurt

30 May 2019
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A 'friend' randomly accused me of something I didn't do and decided to cut ties with me out of the blue. It's going to hurt for a long while but at least now I'm free from their daily mood swings
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Terrible anxiety attacks today. Also, people telling me they don't feel like talking to me specifically because I'm boring didn't really help my condition... feeling a little worthless at the moment

What a horrible thing to say. Know that that person is ignorant. You are a fascinating person (as are we all), and you don't need someone like that in your life.

29 May 2019

Just be kind to yourself.

29 May 2019
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Finally it looks like many things in my life are going the right way, and it's been a long time since I last felt this relaxed... Now I'm just scared it'll be only a temporary relief
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Tonight I'll finally meet the other members of an association I joined, I'm excited but also very anxious about introducing myself and stuff... I'm not good at being around people :(
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I'm fine even if I'm all alone today, which is pretty unusual. Still feeling a little flat, but not being anxious for once is actually nice.
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