It's been a year of chaos.. I'm excited? Apprehensive? About trying to track my mood again...but it's neccessary. Working on my recovery yet again, haha.
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Apprehensive about going in to work tonight. My coworker (friend) informed me that our coworker is going to 'be mean' to me tonight, because of Wednesday. All I can think is 'grow up.'

He's older than me and yet is acting like a child. Treated our other coworker poor last night-- because of me?? What is wrong with him? I don't understand petty behaviour.... I'm dissociating today, so I am hoping that I can keep my mouth shut and

05 Jul 2019

refrain from speaking my (venomous) mind tonight. I'm too tired- physically and emotionally. Fingers crossed I don't walk home mid-shift..because I very well may do it.

05 Jul 2019

I mean.. I apologized. The event is in the past- time to move forward from it. If he doesn't want to move forward, then that's on him. I'm going to wear my hematite tonight..I need something to rely on.

05 Jul 2019
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Going through MoodPanda and sending virtual hugs feels nice.. I feel less alone. I hope you all are having a fine day.

Likewise

05 Jul 2019
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Bipolar crash yesterday..Still recovering and feeling very bad. Yesterday I had a panic attack in the bank lineup. Anxiety attack at another store- too many people at once. People stared/watched.

I let a coworker down yesterday -- horrendous guilt still today. More so angry at them. I never confirmed taking half of their shift, but they assumed&made plans. I didn't go in (bad mental health day/nausea) and they confronted me about it.

04 Jul 2019

I had high anxiety for the remainder of the day. Came home and decided that I'm quitting my job. Awoke this morning feeling very drained. Perceiving someone as being rude-- my 'nose it out of joint' so I'm trying to stay mindful.

04 Jul 2019

I am definitely finding another job ASAP though... my coworkers have zero concept of bipolar depression, let alone mental health days. I have limits and 2 of them never respect that. I'm tired of being loyal/caring too much for people/a workplace

04 Jul 2019

(..) that has no care for me. I'm loyal to a fault, and as worried as I am about a new job (my wrists are still flared up) I'm going to devote myself to a place that respects/cares for me in return.

04 Jul 2019

Thank you xo

05 Jul 2019

Bipolar crash so

06 Jul 2019

nds like a cool mame for a band :)

06 Jul 2019

Jokes aside, I hope you're feeling better now.

06 Jul 2019
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Productive day - learned some Canadian history, enjoyed the weather, and gardened all afternoon with family. Super sleepy..so I'm turning in early tonight xo
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Welp, today seems to be an 'up day' mentally..? (I live with Bipolar2/BPD co-morbid.) I'm slightly confused, but pleasantly content. I think it's a placebo effect of trying to be 'good' to my body.

I've been waking up before noon (I work evenings & last week's goal was to wake prior to noon.) I think the actions of trying to be mindful (by using MoodPanda and journalling again) - as well as the sun/pleasant weather- are helping lift my spirit

30 Jun 2019

I feel as though my body is 'low,' yet my mind is 'high' - I'm too tired to try to understand it. -- No more thinking, Spence! Time for that tea. I hope you are presently well!

30 Jun 2019

Yikes I did not think that through-- I meant 'I hope you are well,' as in to you, the reader, ah. I don't often talk to myself via writing :p

30 Jun 2019
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Very sore day today.. I struggled to open two windows - applied emulgel and now I notice the body pains&aches. Very fatigued and I have done minimal today.

I'm feeling a little sad, but I plan to have a hot shower in an hour or so. Took my omegas and ate a healthy lunch. Going to make a comfort-tea and work (gently) on my arthritis journal hah. Hoping everyone is feeling okay today x

30 Jun 2019
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Yay long weekend!! 🍁 Looong shift tonight, but my wrists feel okay. I'm hoping to give Tai (my water dragon) some lovin' and sprays, before his lights go out. 🐲

Enjoy your long weekend - hopefully the shift went quickly

30 Jun 2019

Thank you Albertine! The shift took it's time but coworkers and I gradually made it haha!

30 Jun 2019

Water dragon?

05 Jul 2019
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I've done some stretches for the day. I'm off to work- hoping for an easy shift. 3-day 'holiday' because of Canada Day, woohoo!
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Feeling motivated to 'Plan' after work (using Arthritis.ca learning modules.) I have rheumatoid arthritis - as of mid-April my wrists became target. I'm in pain and swollen every day.

I'm still painful, but an ice-bath has me feel a little better. I see a good friend at work tonight, so I look forward to her company; apprehensive about work because other coworkers are ignorant to arthritis.

28 Jun 2019

That is really tough, Spencer - sorry you have some colleagues who are unaware. My partner was just diagnosed (his mother also has it). Glad to hear you're looking after yourself

30 Jun 2019

Thank you for your kindness, Albertine. I hope that your partner can be gentle with them self! I find the stigma behind age to be more difficult than the pain-- I'm finding that folks still believe it is 'a disease for old people.'

30 Jun 2019
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Once logged in you can be part of the community
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