Been struggling but received a text tonight from someone I'd missed. Positive Communication can heal even if sometimes we don't think we want it nestling in our own solitary comfort zone.
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So angry irate with my brother and father at mo. I've just come out of hospital after 2 1/2 months and they're so overbearing. 'Asked both to leave' yesterday so they condemned me on WhatsApp group.
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In hospital. Rls. But s better day than most
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Feeling better today. My sister in law had me sectioned I'm sure to avoid me spending Christmas overnight at their home. I would have stayed upstairs. She was wrong.It was horrific.Recovering strongly
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Still in hospital sectioned. Buying little things to cheer myself up and kicking football about a bit and the punchbag. Feels so good.
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All over the place. Can't get a grip. Halved meds due to weight gain; now hitting me 2 weeks later. Knew it was stupid. Esp in run up to Christmas stress. Don't learn from mistakes. Confused. Why.
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Was so strong. So good. So happy. So healed. Then my mother on family WhatsApp group subtely accused me of making things up - again. So low now. What to do. Too little support to come off group. Down.
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Feel like s--t and terrified he's going to hurt himself or worse as in the past. I needed to end it he was abusive in every way. Emotional blackmail but self-knowledge not helping. 5 yrs a long time.

This is the pattern of abuse. Threatening to hurt himself. And if he abused you. So let him hurt himself as much as he wants. Just make sure he doesn't hurt you. Hugs

18 Nov 2019

You can and will be ok.

04 Dec 2019
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Feeling ***ty. Don't really know why. Exhausted and can't stop crying until eyes are sore. Unavoidable to feel emotional after ending a 5 yr relationship. Even if he was abusive.

Its a big thing getting out of an abusive relationship, the worst is over, the healing is hard but needed, if you ever need the pandas, we're here

07 Nov 2019
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My ex threatened to come round anyway 2 nights ago when I stated I WOULD call police. And meant it. He didn't. I feel so sorry for him he has so little. Just praying doesn't damage himself. Praying.
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So very very exhausted with feels like I'm fighting all the time.Then Adrenalin prevents me sleeping and I spiral upwards into a mainly manic mixed state. So bored of it.Family won't accept my Bipolar
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Head still a bit gone after ending abusive relationship- eg:thought I was in love again -with someoneelse! this am -! maybe I was wrong. Not sure requited!!? Mixed signals!Calmer headspace soon please
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He's been gone 2 weeks. I feel normal alive again. I can relax. I'm not terrified confused disorientated +stressed. So good. I can focus on me. +spend my money on me +my 29 yr! daughter. Not just him.

Good on you! Getting rid of a toxic relationship - the best thing you can do! Onwards and upwards to what you deserve xxx

04 Nov 2019

Echoing what Clare said... Good for you for making a change for the better! ❤️

04 Nov 2019

Thank you. Your support means so much. Head still a bit gone - thought I was in love again - with someone else! this morning - maybe I was wrong.

05 Nov 2019
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It's been 5 days since he left now. [he] Cried screamed+ threatened. I didn't think I could do it.Prouder than think family believe I'm intrinsically weak. He's still texting. Just keeping door locked

He's telling me he's selling all his stuff. He has v little and I normally support him. But can't my daughter too. My heart is no longer so vulnerable to being wrung. Tho I did cry to the darkness first days. Silence and trees so peaceful seem now.

31 Oct 2019

Little walk after post. My daughter's love and insistence kept me going daily on that. Only think I enjoy so freely right now. Thank you.

31 Oct 2019

I've been there for six years (and still haven't really gotten out and can go back). Take care of yourself.❤️

31 Oct 2019
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*** just ***. Told him to go. Unfortunately left door unlocked. Still here second night later. Too dangerous to tell him to go while he's drinking. Need to wait until he goes back home again ...

... and just hope a locked door keeps him out without his threat at being asked to leave of 7 months ago of 'im going to burn this house down.' Not prayed for a while. Praying for it to be over now.

20 Oct 2019
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*** just ***. Told him to go. Unfortunately left door unlocked. Still here second night later. Too dangerous to tell him to go while he's drinking. Need to wait until he goes back home again ...
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I'm OK today. Not sure why. He's here watching footie downstairs.Just meditating so much could be anywhere. 'Compounding' is term for repetition of session? It works.don't think I'd be here without it
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