I cant grasp the concept of death, what happens after it? What happens to our soul? Do we know we're dead, or just not exist anymore? It scares me.
I understand, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Personally, I'm a Christian, which helped me sort all of that out (and a lot of other things, I highly recommend it.), but accepting mortality is hard. Good luck, I hope it turns out well.
You're a worthy human being
I feel like this a lot. Try to hang on in there. Tomorrow, you may feel better.
I know it might be hard. But if your friends don't check in on you as often as you want. Tell them. Tell them you need that help from them. The true friends will stay and help.