Slowly recovering. Making a new strategy to feel better more often.
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I get there too. Minute by minute. Hang on. โ™ฅ

06 Nov 2020
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Life is so repetitive. No matter how much I try to get better I just end back at square one. Back to hating myself, wishing I was never born and thinking everyone deserves better than me.
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Starting to work out when I get home from work now. Figure it's a better way of using my negative bottled up energy from the day.

Thank you William for your sweet comments *hugs*

04 Nov 2020

Good idea by the way, the working out after work ๐Ÿ˜Š

04 Nov 2020
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Only want to sleep... had to cancel all my plans today because I was just falling in and out of consciousness... it was like a nightmare where I couldn't move. Yet it still felt better than living.
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Well the situation has resolved itself. My 'dear friend' has basically shot themself in the foot by lying to one of my close friends and potentially ending my friendship with them. Can't trust ANYONE!
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Dear Friend of mine is going to be evicted because of cutbacks and I feel so useless. I want to help them but I just don't know what or if I can do anything. Worst part is they were only given 2 weeks

A friend is in the same predicament. He got a trailer. I'm letting him park it in driveway. He can save $. Once I was on receiving end and a buddy offered me a room. True friend. I was down, he helped me get back on my feet.

23 Oct 2020

I wish I could offer them a room but I live in a studio apartment. There's no space and I don't think I'm even allowed to have people stay.

23 Oct 2020

It's stressing me out because I refuse to let them live on the street but I'm so powerless it's infuriating

23 Oct 2020

you're a good friend and are concerned for your friends well being. Sometimes we're not in a position to lend a hand as we would like.

23 Oct 2020

I called other friends and shared a few leads I found on craigslist. Do you have something like where you are?

23 Oct 2020
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Even if I get better, then what? I live a boring life on this boring horrible world. I just don't understand or even know what's keeping me from just ending it all. I have nothing and want nothing.

It may seem this way now, but when you get better you'll feel differently. You'll want something, you'll want to live. Just hold on until you get out of this dark place.

16 Oct 2020

Try to have (small) stuff to look forward to, even if its just brushing your teeth and having that fresh feeling in your mouth. Selfcare is important too, ya know. Every small goal you achieve, will lead you to something bigger, better. I promise.

16 Oct 2020
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Visited my grandparents this weekend. Lots of food and great company. Plus plenty of board games where we all had a fun time. Almost sad to go back to my empty apartment...
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Heh it's amazing how it only took two women to destory me mentally. Now I'm just going to stew in anger and frustration so I never fall in love again. Love is a complete fantasy. Not real at all.
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What's the bloody point in anything? I've got nothing to look forward to, everything in life either bores me or gives me anxiety. On top of that I'm an idiot. A completely brainless idiot.

It does seem there's nothing to look forward to sometimes, and then sometimes amazing things happen. Hugs

08 Oct 2020
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Didn't get the apartment... starting to lose hope

Ugh, it's so hard to find a place these days... But you'll find one!

07 Oct 2020

That means there is a better apartment than this one coming free for you soon ๐Ÿ˜˜

12 Oct 2020

I can only hope so Spacekitten ๐Ÿ˜”

12 Oct 2020
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Looked at a new apartment today and I instantly fell in love with it. Really hope I get it. Hope everyone else is having a good day.
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