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A lot of work to do and it's stressing me out, but i'm sure i'll be able to finish it. Feel calm and motivated. And interested in learning and hobbies again! finally lol
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impulsively spent a lot of money today. feel like *** because of it. and i was really motivated this morning and thought i finally would be able to resist the urge..
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Bought lots of junk and overate again. All i can think about it food but my roomates are here so i cant get it. I hate myself sm for not being able to stop doing it its been years

It did get better though so im hopeful ill beat this habit eventually

23 Mar 2021
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i hate social media sometimes. I really need to stop looking at the accounts of people i miss or like. It does nothing except make me sad. + mild anxiety today, just lots of tests and ~socialization~

I deleted it and it was one of the best things I've done

22 Mar 2021
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just working all day. super spaced out. got a free pizza!
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i actually feel okay now. idk if this is because i took some things off my chest yesterday or because i didn't sleep much and it's cortisol.

also feel embarresed about how i acted and what and how i said some stuff. but i guess they've definetaly seen worse lol and i just need to get better at talking abt my feelings and being vulnurable

20 Mar 2021

growing edges

20 Mar 2021
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So i went to first therapy appointment. I was fine? Idk i was very akward and didbt know what to say most of the time. But overall feel ok today

you're doing the right thing

19 Mar 2021

thank you! i hope you're right

19 Mar 2021
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just struggling a lot today. i hate how my updates are always so negative, so here's a positive: i'm surrounded by lot of kind, smart and creative people. i'm glad i know them, even if we aren't close

why tho? i think it's important to be surrounded by people you like. I used to be surrounded by a lot of toxic people, and it's very refreshing to know people how aren't like that

18 Mar 2021

Thanks for the hugs, pandas 💖

18 Mar 2021
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An ok day for once!! Felt terrible at first + headache but spend some time with my classmate and it was fun
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Very sad today. Feel like i've accidentely been kinda an asshole to some of my classmates today. I didnt mean to, just have no energy to socialize, which probably came out as me being rude/hating them

also planned an appointment with a therapist. she offered a discount so i can't miss that chance lol. kinda nervous

15 Mar 2021
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Thought i didn't have a problem with irrational thoughts anymore but it turns out i still do. Today some of them were proven wrong and now it's seems so ridiculous that i thought they were true.
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My appetite fluctuates a lot. I either don't eat at all or eat non-stop. At least it's good that i'm alone so no one can see this
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a bit more energy today. went grocery shopping, bought my favorite snacks and cooked my favorite meals. like sucks but a least the food is good
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very spaced out and exausted. everything seems hopeless, have 0 motivation. i have no evergy to even form a sentence in my head, not to mention do my tasks. still managed to eat and shower though.

when will it get better? it's like no matter what i do things either stay the same or get worse. i mean i'll keep trying, i'm just frustrated, i guess. i sleep well, eat well, have all the posibilities to have a great life in whatever defition, but i

12 Mar 2021

still feel terrible for no reason. i would be mad if i had energy to. hopefully i'll feel better soon

12 Mar 2021
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Taking a day off. Impulive urges, but im able to resist them. Bought some sweets to eat while watching tv shows and yt, later 'll practice my hobbies. Still feel like *** but now a bit less stressed
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