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Everything feels perilous and impossible right now. I hope this time passes soon.
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Some really good news for my partner today and I am very happy for her and with her!

Awesome!! Congratulations to her and you—as the news has a baring on you both!

08 Jul 2021

Thanks, Bridget!

09 Jul 2021
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Travel vaccination stuff so complicated for a first time traveller đŸ˜• but I'm proud of myself for at least handling it like an adult.

Called several places today for info and I don't like calling places, brings anxiety, but I did it. Also saw my doc today and got some things at least moving in a direction.

05 Jul 2021
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Really great night with R, much needed!
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Accent practice went well; apparently I'm doing much better than I could even hope for!
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Accent practice went well today, good to get it started.
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Have my first job interview today, let's see how this goes. I may not end up getting the job or accepting it, but mainly it's the experience I need to get.

Decided not to go the interview after all after discussions with mom. I will likely be travelling next month and she's right to say it's not enough time to work, wouldn't be easy to leave and would waste employer's time, and that I will have so many

28 Jun 2021

more opportunities for job interviews and jobs themselves if I want that experience. I can't really deny that, and it's true I didn't have these more concrete travel plans until two days ago and I applied earlier than that so now things have changed.

28 Jun 2021

I may still have an opportunity to work somewhere/do something smaller where the employer knows I'm just doing it for a little while but I can't be accepting a big job for the time being. It kinda sucks and kinda doesn't because I'm really looking

28 Jun 2021

forward to travel.

28 Jun 2021
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Did some good work today and had a good evening with R.
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I don't want to stay where I am. I have an opportunity to go elsewhere and have a whole life there and it's what I want, I want to make changes that reflect that finally. It needs to show.

Change is often all that's needed :0)

24 Jun 2021

Thank you, Chris. I'm hearing that a lot these days and want to finally do it. Looking for ways.

24 Jun 2021
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A big change I've done is reminding myself that I am only responsible for me AND that I'm not required to defend myself to others.

24 Jun 2021

Thanks for your reply, Bridget! How'd you go about not defending yourself? I definitely have problems with defensiveness :/

24 Jun 2021

My therapist reminds me (weekly) that I'm not responsible for what others think (if they believe I'm lying or something)—that is a reflection on them and not me (I remind myself of this daily and will even say it to the person—most often my husband).

24 Jun 2021

That's helpful. Thank you :)

25 Jun 2021
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Stomach is turning because of anxiety and sadness. Haven't felt this sad in a while and it's terrifying that soon it could be worse.
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Really hate these back and forth feelings. One side of me looks at the facts that things aren't working and that I may be too immature to make them work, at least right now. Another side can't let go and keeps wanting to keep trying in the hope that over time they'll get better and I'll become more equipped to handle things right. I'm so confused and can't reach any decision.
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