1 Bean W
NEW NEW
i have been fully sober since february. last august i was diagnosed with BPD, CPTSD and other disorders. my therapist is great. but my substance abuse continued until i found out i was pregnant. i chose to terminate it. up until april i was fine as far as i could tell. but since then i've found that i'm experiencing a lot of flashbacks and paranoia that reminds me intensely of when i was in active
Bean W
  NEW

addiction. it's not giving me cravings at all. it's extremely distressing. the things i'm re-experiencing are specifically of a time i was N-BOMBED. it was horrendously in my head. i felt electric pins and needles in the back of my brain and now,

09 Jul 2021
Bean W
  NEW

what was once a comfortable dissociation, is not extremely distressing. i am constantly looking over my shoulders and feel like i'm still high on occasion. i can generally talk myself down but it sometimes makes it to where i just want to lay in bed.

09 Jul 2021
Bean W
  NEW

the floaty feeling i used to enjoy just taunts me. i feel so out of touch. i'm not sure if i'm just dissociating, or if i'm genuinely experiencing a mild psychosis. i use mild bc it's manageable. it's not out of control but it's definitely a nuisance

09 Jul 2021
Bean W
  NEW

#addictionrecovery #bpd #cptsd #dissociation #depersonalization #hppd

09 Jul 2021
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