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Deadlines starting to get me, and anxiety/guilt is building. Still can't wait get a hang of my stomach issues either. Thankful the depression has eased up now I have purpose though.
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Invited to visit a group of friends. I still find social settings anxious, but this should be a nice casual way to build back up to it. Always nice to have some good news to share too!

aw that's good! hope ur day stays good!

6 days ago
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Full day out, for the first time in a while. Good walk along the canal. My botany skills weren't as good as I thought, but I had a nice time. Treated myself to some new books too!
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Completed my first tutorial, and got some good admin done yesterday. Feeling a little more on top of things. Going to have a house guest for a couple days, so we'll see how that goes.
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Feeling a little overwhelmed with the workload I have taken on. Especially since I will lose a whole day tomorrow. I'm glad of the few things I have achieved already. I can only hope tomorrow goes okay.
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Isn't it great to be told your problems are all in your head and you're just making it up. Gee, I wish I had thought of just deciding to be happy... Hot shower has left me in a better mood at least.
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Arranging for help with a GP. Probably long overdue let's hope they can help.
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Got some overdue household chores done. Feeling less guilty about my workload. Might go for a walk.
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Thanks for the hugs. With some good music and a bit of exercise, my head is in a much better space.

13 Oct 2021
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Spent the day in bed with stomach cramps, avoiding the anger of my dad and his broken car. Felt like a child again, hiding in a cocoon. Feeling better now, if a little sheepish.
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I'm now pretty sure that I am milk protein intolerant. This takes away some of my best comfort food and easiest mood pick ups, but hopefully as I listen to my body more, my health and well-being will improve together?

Great observation. Sucks to let go of favorite foods, though. I substituted oat milk for milk and plant protein for whey. Food is medicine...or toxic depending on what we put in our mouths. Still learning what foods optimize health.

11 Oct 2021

Ive done a lot of research and experimenting over the last few years. Finding fermented, whole & plant based foods agree with my constitution. Not only what I eat matters, but how much & how often. Intermittent Fasting has worked well for me.

11 Oct 2021

You're a woman and presumably young. Your hormonal schedule is different and your dietary needs will differ.

11 Oct 2021

But sounds like you're on the right track. You may find Adrenal Thyroid Revolutionby Dr Aviva Romm a useful read. She offers a 4 week program to improve metabolism, hormonal balance, Mind and mood.

11 Oct 2021

Thanks for the advice and for sharing what you have found. I made the change to oat milk a year ago, so I don't have too many changes to make to my diet. It's a good excuse to buy some new vegan cookbooks too!

11 Oct 2021

yes. lots of great recipes online too.

12 Oct 2021
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I've been passed pip to post, but the letter of decision has been revoked, and I have officially been offered a place on the course. My efforts have meaning again.
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Not sure where to go from here, but I feel more in control again. My mood at least is up to me, and I have safety and food for a few months at least. Everything else will have to come second.
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Application officially declined. Drifting. Can't stay focused.
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actions/behaviors we intentionally do to enhance our sense of well-being. Sleep, exercise, meditation, a proper diet are some examples of self-care. Setting boundaries, nurturing healthy relationships, and saying no are other examples.

08 Oct 2021

Thanks Love. I was spiraling out at the time, and ignoring all of my coping mechanisms and important self care steps. Doing better now.

08 Oct 2021

Happens. Sometimes I let things go to s*** & just dive right in to the fire, embracing the suckyness, surrendering to what is.

08 Oct 2021
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Feel so messed around with University. I took part in induction and have began the exercises for my first unit, but today they have changed my application status from 'Submitted/Pending' to 'Unsuccessful'. The tutor said that the admissions system was slow, but I feel like I'm being bounced back and forth. Part time distance learning makes it so unclear. Just what my anxiety needs...

AM I ON THE COURSE OR NOT??!?

07 Oct 2021
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Garden looking bedraggled but healthy after the heavy rain. Few small tasks to make me feel useful.
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Pushed through another self deprecating spiral. Came out feeling pretty. I'm getting better at this.
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Productivity dropped to zero, but I'm getting plenty of sleep and my headache is gone. Just doing okay.
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