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Woke up early again. Happy but a little drained. A little confused with my feelings at the moment.
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Feeling good but a little nervous about today's appointments, not sure what to expect. Grateful for progress though. Discovered a new type of music though, bluegrass, so have been enjoying that and it really slows my head which is nice.
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Woke to early with a bad headache that I can't shift. Head a little distracted but have managed to start some work. Think I feel ok today but to tired to be sure.
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Grateful for a better day visiting mum. Opened up to her a bit and she seemed to be pleased I had. Felt drained after though. Had a good evening.
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Tired and cold, but feeling fairly good. Hopefully it maintains so mum doesn't get the worst side again.
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I wish every day was a Saturday. Park run in the morning then straight over to dad. Grateful that he was awake again. He was very emotional again, smiled at us and then started crying everytime, and clearly very distressed. I wish I understood what he was thinking now. Babysat this evening and I do like pretending I have children.
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Grateful my mood has lifted and happy this week is over.
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Woke to early but not feeling to tired. Feel 'delicate' still so must make sure I look after myself. Stay calm and take time if I need to. I can't change a lifetime overnight, stop trying to rush everything and making myself so desperate.

that's it. patience. It takes time to rewire the brain. Your Inner guide speaks wisdom. Sounds like it will lead you to pec

6 days ago

Peace.

6 days ago

...maybe big pecs, too, if it gets the notion to start bodybuilding or some s*** like that.

6 days ago

Thanks everyone. And the inner guide has assured me bigger pecs are not coming 😂

6 days ago

💪big guns maybe?💪

6 days ago
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Most difficult day in a long time. Very triggered by work and it was close to reckless decisions. Made it through and hope sleep helps.
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Tired, dejected and feeling lost and scared.
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Had a good morning and then mood just nose dived. Very negative thoughts that I couldn't shift. Managed quite a lot of work though so grateful for that.
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Have woken tired but in much better place in my head, not happy but not so low. I think the stress of waiting for appointments is taking a toll. So grateful for the support I have at the moment but must ensure I don't become dependant on them and must try and increase my circle.

If you're aware of it I don't think you can become dependent? Sounds like you know what's going on! Good to hear that you've a lot of support around you

20 Oct 2021
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Very upset and agitated most of the day for no real reason. Working was very difficult. Managed to pick up mood in the evening but still low.
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Woke early and with a headache again. I need to help myself and sleep earlier even though I don't want to. Feelings a little confused, happy and sad at the same time.
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Finally got some work done, could have done more but didn't even need to in the end. Positive mindset most of the day and then a good evening.
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Yesterday was another difficult one. Took me all day to try and get my head together. Mum keeps seeing me on bad days, not ideal but I don't think it's related. My head feels a bit clearer today so I really must get some work done 😂
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Not sure how I go to bed so happy and wake so low. Can't remember my dreams as usual but I know they woke me again. Am I really doing the best I can to help myself or have I just got tunnel vision again - I need to reflect on this.
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Really good day. Dad was awake and looked at us so that was a nice suprise. Then fun swimming before back to sisters house. My head and thoughts have also got a little more rational so that's good and I think helped me be happier.

this helps, thank you for being generous enough to share this with us!

16 Oct 2021

You are welcome Itch. I didn't think of it as being of any help to others but if it is then thats nice to hear, thanks.

17 Oct 2021
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