January
MTWTFSS
    1(7) 12am wake up. Decides to record a meditation in Spanish. Will edit & upload to Insight Timer. Want to translate in Italian & Portuguese, too. Early am meditation, swim, run.
(6) Napped. Uploaded music: https://m.soundcloud.com/j-felix-408176358 Prepared Ethiopian meal: gomen (collard greens), misir wat (red lentils), atakilt wat (potato & cabbage), injera bread.
2(7) Recording/editing. Budgeting/planning.
(8) Uploaded a meditation in Spanish to Insight Timer and a blog post. Feeling productive. Small steps. Meeting goals. I derive as much pleasure from the process as from the final result.
(8) Mother was discharged and is home. Her spirits are up. Good. Going to work on bathroom. I'll finish someday.
3(7) Last day of vacation. Midday nap & swim rejuvenated me.
4(8) Back to work. Seamless transition. Early wakeup. Meditation to get centered. Prepped breakfast with kids. Run/swim. Helped kids with remote learning. Prepared my lesson (photo compositing/editing).
(7) Ran to grocery store with boys on cargo ebikes cycling beside me. Got my miles in + errands done + time with boys. Stacking must-dos.
5(6) Tired. Woke up at 1; returned to bed at 7. Slept an hour. While I was up, decided to meditate. As I still couldn't sleep, decided to write. Posted a blog. I'll nap midday.
(6) Did little. Needed that. I did buy a CBD supplement to help transition to bed. Aiming for a better night's sleep.
6(7) Sleep wasnt optimal, but better than the previous night. Ran. Arm workout. Entered grades. Stimulus check this week or next. Xwife & bf broke up. Didn't care for the guy. Going down for a nap.
(9) Swim/run at beach. Beautiful day out. Happy to be outdoors, in nature.
7(8) Up since 2am, but why resist? If the body is alert, I'll use this time wisely.8(5) I have a man crush on Elon Musk. Finished his biography. He executes on his ideas, and thinks BIG.
(7) First day with new class. Smooth transition. Studying Mandarin on break. Not much is sticking. Making more progress in Italian & Portuguese. Expecting to b fluent in both. News feeds are in Por.
(8) Applying Spacekitten's productivity hack. Drove to bike shop. Bought patch kit. Patched 2 inner tubes. Fixed flat. Ocean swim. Run on beach at sunset. Laundry. Yoga. Training kitten to walk on leash.
9(9) Rear rim trued. Midday nap. Purchased better snorkeling gear for open ocean swimming in winter. Neoprene gloves & shoes arriving tomorrow. Introduced boys to stock market game. They're already in, but
(8) When I read and speak in Italian, can't stop gesturing with my hands. Mama mia! What a moving language.
10(8) 7am wakeup. 1hr meditation (breathwork, TM, laughter yoga), swim/run. A lot I hope to make progress on today. Mind calm & settled. Energy levels good. Ready to attack!
(9) Friends stopped by. One helped me with plumbing. Made W. African jollof (rice) for another who popped in. Published blog. Prepared lessons for tomorrow. Squeezed in a few deadlifts & running drills.
11(7) 330 wake up. Earlier than I wanted rise, but will make most of time. 1h meditation. Studied Italian. Going to swim/run before breakfast. Working remotely. Will nap midday.12(7) Adding water and sunlight to morning routines. Sunlight to set my circadian clock and water for energy & hydration. Went for a swim with improved gear. Makes a difference esp in cold.
(9) Recorded and uploaded a 10 part a capella to Soundcloud. https://soundcloud.com/j-felix-408176358/nkosi-sikelel-iafrika Definitely best part of my day.
13(9) 3am wakeup. Recorded a guided meditation. Will edit and upload later today. Morning swim. Walked kitten on leash... although not sure I should call it walking. More like zigzagging.14(7) Slept 9 hours. I feel like a video game avatar that just gotten recharged and has enough energy to play to the next level.
(7) Light run. Taught audio engineering. Put up drywall. Ran errands: mail, groceries, dishes. Prepared Senegalese chickpea mafe & Indian naan. More classes. Neck workout. Hyper-productive.
(8) Nap. Moved furniture. Rearranged room. Recycling run. 2nd pt job. Home improvement stop. Lesson planning. Full day.
15(7) Productive morning. Spoke to attorney re: business & estate planning. Midday nap. Rested for second half of day.16(8) New day! Ready to attack my own bull** and get after what I said I'd do. I have a list of ongoing passion projects. But first, calibrate the mind, sharpen the blade so it can cut through obstacles.
(8) Organized meditation retreats Jan-Mar. Sent out invitations. Had kids help with breakfast. Ran 3mi. Finished putting up cementboard & taping. Trying another naan. bread recipe. Going to nap. Reset.
17(6) Ran few miles. Drive by birthday celebration w/son. Took kitten for walk in woods. Brought home tree stump. Son wants 2 build tower 4 cat. Enjoying homemade alcapurrias & egg drop soup leftovers.
(6) Bonfire @ beach w/kids, friend & kitten. Kitten was in her element, climbing trees, prowling, exploring (on leash). Nice way to end day.
18(6) Plants keep on giving. The pulp from juice, the scraps & leftovers from cooking are boiled to make veggie broth. The remainder is composted & used in garden to grow more plants. Nothing wasted.
(6) Trying to go 21 consecutive days without criticizing, gossiping, or complaining. Hard. Probably one of hardest challenges I've done.
19(6) Sitting in sauna. Warming up muscles. Yoga afterward, then facilitating una clase de meditación en español.20(7) Good night's sleep- 3rd in a row. Breath work. Taking it easy today. Goals: swim, install waterproof membrane, leg workout.
(9) Snow. Went to beach with son & kitten. My son waded into the surf. Bad @$$ 10 year old. Kitten on leash.
(8) A good day. First day no complaint, criticism. Set timer every 20m to ring & remind me of intention.
21(8) Light work schedule gives me time to work on house. Ran to youth center where I won grant to share tech with kids. Ran home. Work workout.22(8) Meditation. Glass of H2O. Pushups to failure. Egg sandwich w/olives, avocado, asparagus, mushrooms on homemade naan. Protein shake w oatmeal, berries, yogurt, peanut btr etc. Fueled up! Ready 4 day.
(5) A little sad, but welcoming & embracing it. Relaxing into it fully.
23(7) Swim. Led meditation session by beach. Had fire going. Nap. Ready for second half of day.
(6) Worked on bathroom. Assembled shelf for mom. Watching Dr. Chatterjee interview James Nestor on breath work while stretching. Looking forward to reading his book, Breath. Drafted essay on yoga nidra.
24(7) Life has no meaning. We give it meaning. Sand, water, sky. I say a beautiful beach & so it is. Rocks. I say a majestic mountain and inspire it with awe. Life. I say a gift or curse & so it is.
(8) Ran 4 mi to drop off coats for kids @ x (which I stuffed into camel pack).Writing/research. Classes in physics, Mandarin & an architecture class in Italian through Coursera. For me, learning=joy.
25(7) Back to campus. Enjoying time with kids.
(7) A lot of cooking. Prepared meals for next few days. Uttered first complaint/criticism after 4 day streak. Reset to day 1. Practicing new ways of communicating, negotiating, resolving conflicts.
26(7) Midday meditation did me good. Posted essay on benefits of yoga nidra. Snow. River plunge. Taught meditation class in Spanish. Finished Hidden Figures.27(6) Working remotely gave me perspective. Was able to rest midday more regularly. Made a difference in affect. New schedule is too busy. Will address with colleagues.28No Reasons29(7) Slept 10 hours + midday nap. Light run & leg workout. Rested. Back to normal.
(7) Younger son apologized to his brother. That's encouraging.
30(7) Slept 9 hours + midday nap. Led meditation retreat. Back to quarantine, but prefer working remotely. The schedule is less demanding. Havent had time for usual pursuits.31(6) Another 8-9 hours of solid sleep. Meditation & early morning swim. Mild frustration with persistent issues: noise, kids bickering, unnecessary work demands... will explore solutions to each.
February
MTWTFSS
1(7) Got to the beach for an early morning swim before winter storm hit.2(5) Flat.3(7) Colleagues were open to changes in schedule which would allow us more time for planning or, in my case, resting & resetting. Enjoyed a midday nap.4(7) What Hindus and Buddhists call Maya, the ancient Greeks called illusion. The Toltecs called it mitote, the dream. 'If you go into the dream & start challenging your beliefs...'5(8) Productive work week. Took a dip in freezing river. Body came alive. Yoga nidra midday. Deep rest. Homemade veggie alcapurrias for dinner.6(8) Positive thoughts pinging the brain. 1h meditation: 15m breath work (suizen w/shakuhachi + khoomei), 15m TM, 15m metta, 15m laughter yoga/pranayama. 1-on-1 breakfast w/daughter.
(8) Homemade pizza. Walk w/friend. Hours on piano/keyboard.
7(4) Sad.
(6) Embraced the sadness and expressed it in words. What came out was a draft centered around purpose.
8(5) Sad-ish.9(6) Rested. Wrote grant. Andrew Huberman podcast.10(7) Teaching kids 'enemy image' meditation technique + shared Ekmans Atlas of emotions to help them understand timeline (how emotions unfold). Teaching what matters.
(6) Nap. Ahh. Needed that. Going to prep dinner & dessert with my daughter... if I can get her attention. Its dad vs SpongeBob.
11No Reasons12(7) Slept well. Light breath work, loving kindness meditation. May I honor the light that animates me. May I connect with it, taking time to be without having to 'do,' whether productive or not-accepting.13(8) Slept well which indexes to improved mood- which is a function of body's chemistry regulated by hormones- which are reset & optimized after deep, REM sleep. 10 y.o learning to solder. Proud of him.
(5) expectations unmet... assuming responsibility for the attachments, the misperceptions.
14(6) Slept well. Light breathwork. 30m meditation. Calm, but something is off. Can't identify.
(7) 4mi run. Chest workout. Nap. Drove 100 mi for injera bread. Kids helped prep Ethiopian meal. 10 year old is building a cat tower. 12 year old posting his music & art online. Proud of them.
15(7) Slept well. Meditation. On piano for a few hours. Need to manage time. Have several items on to-do list I want to complete.
(5) OK. Just north of meh. Grateful & rested, but feeling frustrated, disappointed, off-purpose, flat.
16(6) Working from home. Blog post, exercise, piano, yoga.17(7) Setting aside confusion. Resting in the certainty of being. Content with what I am sure of. Giving attention to the reality within me. This present moment has a realness the past & future do not.18(8) 30 min meditation. Impact Theory podcast with neuroscientist. 4.5 run to work.
(8) A good day. Morning run kept me on high all day. Frequent yoga breaks with kids. Midday yoga nidra. Connection with people I care about deeply. Support for a friend in bad place. Intermittent fasting.
19(8) Enjoyed 2 hr conversation w/parent. Wrote recommendation 4 former student whom I've kept in touch with 11 years. Watched him grow from a boy to an awkward adolescent to a confident young man.20(8) Led a meditation retreat this morning. Took a nap. Going to make vegetable fried rice for dinner.
(8) D is a good soul. Stays in trailer prkd in driveway since Nov. He needed to cut expenses, pay off debt + save for home. Love having him w/us. Like family. Got laser light 4 cat. Funny.
21(7) cooking last 3h. Protein shake with coconut milk, papaya, dates, banana. Country potatoes & eggs for breakfast. Veg tamales for lunch. Body rejoices and says thank you.
22(8) Rested during lunch break. Feeling rejuvenated. Now students are doing midday meditation to relax.
(7) Homemade pizza. Used garlic naan recipe for dough. Helping son with cat tower build. 12 year old posting time lapse video of himself creating vector art. In bed early. Experimenting.
23(6) Experiment failed. Woke up at midnight. Was up for 2.5 hours. I'll need a midday nap.
(6) Midday meditation. Very restful. Facilitated meditation in Spanish later in the day. In bed early. Made a few adjustments. Experimenting.
24(7) Midday meditation/rest. My well being is enhanced when basic needs are met: eg need for sleep & rest.
(7) Finished Four Agreements while sitting in sauna. Havent sat in weeks. No ice baths either. Missing this. Want to build a tub just for icing. Will sweat some more, then bath & bed. New variable 2 test.
25(7) A good day. Cycled to work. Empathized with kids in conflict. No solutions, no attempt to fix. They figured that out on their own... as I trusted they would. Midday meditation. Now sweating in sauna.26(7) Slept well. Meditated + breath work. Body/mind calm, relaxes. I'll head to river for a cold water dip before work if I can get out of house on time. I miss the pain.
(8) Payday. Paying myself 1st. Transferring $ to savings & investments for self & clan. Informed tht meditation would be featured on Insight Timer. Good news, yet equanimous. Posting anyway.
(7) Made batch of tamales for dinner with mom & daughter. Helped son w/cat tower build. Met w/accountant for help with taxes. Next year, will be more organized. Keeping detailed budget & filing receipts.
27(8) Rested. Meditation. Listening to heartbeat. Breath slows to 6 per min. Counting breath & heartbeat simultaneously. All else falls away. Thoughts remain on periphery.
(8) Helped out friends. Leftover tamale goodness for lunch. Nap time.
(8) Learning Blender alongside son. Used it years ago. Wish I had continued practicing. Would've had 3-4 years under my belt. Starting again. Intending to commit.
28(8) Watching thoughts. Negative ones are easier to cut than positive ones, but, in meditation, attachment to all mental elaboration is cut. Bondage is still bondage even if fetters are of gold.
(8) Accompanied son on his run, cycling alongside him on my Brompton. Then prepared some seed trays with daughter (onion, spinach, kale, tomato, cilantro). 3D modeling with oldest. Nap time.
(9) Ran 5.2 miles (8.3k) to friend's house. He introduced me to Feldenkrais techniques & sat through a Dan Harris guided meditation. Ran home listening to David Goggins. In sauna. Hot bath afterward.
March
MTWTFSS
1(7) Poor night's sleep. Ate & exercised too late in the day. Caffeinated drinks after 3. Hot bath elevated body temp. Mood is good, but may drop if tired.2(3) Needing 2 sit here with the dejection, the frustration. Not rejecting this. Welcoming the purge, the hollowing out. Need a shift. Fundamental changes need 2 b made & will be w/ or w/o my participation
(7) Despite lack of sleep, in good spirits. Enjoy sharing communication frameworks with students. Also teaching on cognitive distortions, IFS, monitoring self-talk.
3(5) 5.5. want to stay home, rest, spend time on passions... rejecting the hours ahead. Blended with thought...but I can see what the mind is up to.
(5) Cat went missing. Shes microchipped. Hope she finds her way home or is found. I'll post flyers around the neighborhood tomorrow if she hasn't returned. Enjoy your adventure, Kittenz.
(8) Found her!
4(4) Frustrated & disappointed, but if I can increase the intensity, these seemingly negative e-MOTIONS will motivate me to make the lifestyle changes I've been slow to make. Alchemize them 2 resolve.
(7) Going to bed with mind focused, intentions clear, motivated... transforming anger into the f** you! intensity that rallies the fighting spirit. Emotional alchemy.
5(6) A lot of ground I hope to cover this weekend. I've got the energy from the emotions of anger & disgust to drive me to the edge of independence.
(8) Decided to leave my job... then a friend forwarded me info about a great opportunity not far from home. Would be perfect for my kids, too. Serendipity.
6(9) Led meditation @ Boys & Girls Club. Asked participants to consider donating to club. Thinking to offer free retreats to raise money for orgs like the BGC, food pantries, animal sanctuaries, etc.7(7) Cold river dip. Tiling/grouting shower floor. Began setting brick. Recorded music. Watched movie w/friend.
8(6) Reflecting. Helpful. Getting needed clarity. On another note, seeds R germinating. Magical. People are like plants. Some need lots of water, some like it dry. Some thrive in sunlight, others in shade.
(5) Reminder not to take it personally, not to assume & to see the good in others. Cant blame others for my projections or unfinished inner work.
(5) Headache, but in bed.
9(6) Stopped car to compliment man training his dog to heel. The mind is like a puppy. With patience and love, we can train it to heel. Be gentle with your puppy mind.
(7) Took cat to park. So alive. Chasing squirrels. Former student contacted me. Working for Space X. Raised by single mom, undocumented maid. She sacrificed. He's living the American dream. Proud of him!
10(6) Headache persists. Hmm. Curious.11(6) Noon meditation. Rejuvenated.
(8) Unexpected tax refund. Grateful.
12(7) Payday. Saving & investing. Budgeting down to penny. No waste. Progress toward goal of financial freedom. 2017 lost almost everything to Xs foolish divorce. Built back. She's living @ poverty line.
(8) Interview went well. Unexpected blessings put long delayed goals finally within reach.
13(7) Led a meditation by the beach. Then enjoyed a midday nap. Slept deeply. Needed that.14(8) 2 week vacation. Going to make the most of the precious time.
(5) Irritation arising.
15(7) Meditation=defragging. Bone meal for my plant babies. Attending to most disagreeable must dos first.
(7) River. Cold exposure. Quieting the distracted mind just long enough 2 notice flock of white cumulus clouds crossing pale blue sky, shadow of a tree on hillside. Reminds me of branches on a nerve cell.
(6) Finished reports. Modeling in Blender with sons. Bike ride to park with 2 youngest + kitten. Pizza & movie night.
16(5) 12am wakeup, but still asleep in the mitote, the dream. Want 2 interview Lord Yama, god of Death, like Nachiketa in Kathopanishad. 5 for indifference to my co-creations & illusions, joy & suffering.
(8) 20m breathwork (Wim Hof Method). Ran to clinic for COVID vax, then ran home. Took dip in river. 29°F/-1.6°C. Now sitting in UV sauna. 140°F/60°C. Defensive measures. Nap nxt.
(8) Who taps out when the opponent we wrestle is just another part of the illusion called self? The adversary may be a friend sent to grow the beloved. If you can't outbox your inner demon, try judo.
(5) Prepped seed beds w/daughter. Cooked random finger foods w/kids: egg rolls, alcapurria, kale chips, caramelized brussel sprouts. 3D modeling w/son.
17(8) Extra $. Seed money. If I'm prudent, if I'm responsible, if I'm attentive to the needs of my market, curious if I can grow those seeds into a tree that bears fruit season after season. #incomeStream.
(8) Tortilla española for breakfast. River plunge. Light chest workout. Bought Wacom Intuos. Will try out trial version of Toon Boom. Progress toward goals.
18(8) Knish & leftover tortilla española 4 breakfast. After years of fails, finally got knishes right. 1 of favorite foods when I was a kid growing up in NYC. I'd get them from street vendors. Yum!
(9) Light run. Back to hardware store with mini me, my 10 year old. Should finish tiling wall by the end of the day. Mini me wants to jump in river, too. Love that boy!
19(5) 3am wake up. Writing, then back to bed. Not rested. Irritable. Lots to do.
(5) X came for kids. They were with me this week; they'll be with her nxt. She imagined divorce would fix her problems, fill the void, that life would be rosier. Illusions do not index to reality.
(6) Sono corso dall'ufficio del dentista. Studiare l'italiano mentre aspetto che venga chiamato il mio nome.
(10) Connected Roli Equator plugin to Garageband. Oh s*! Expressive polyphony & limitless synths. Its abt to get real! Need to reinstall Logic Pro.
(7) Downloaded trial version of Toon Boom. Looking fwd to playing with it. Worked on br remodel last 5 hours. Underestimated time & cost. Oh well. Will spend most of tmrw working on it.
20(8) 3am wakeup. Excited for day ahead. Tempering with breathwork, meditation.
(8) Working w hands- grouting, installing cedar shiplap. Flow state. Resting now. Tired, but content. Enjoyed last meal of day.Ate more mindfully, savoring, illusory little self cross fading into Being.
(8) Grateful for this existence. Grateful for this life. Appreciating the little self called me- his mistakes & failures, too. Cat lying at my feet.
21(8) Connection. Coffee. Kittenz. Flying to Las Vegas this afternoon to visit my favorite person & bff, big sis.
22(5) Jet lag, but in good spirits. A 5 for weariness which can be corrected with meditation & rest.
(8) Meditation with sister & her business partner. Light run. Yoga nidra. Deep rest.
23(9) Self-discipline is an act of self-love and self-respect that transcends the little self. It's an expression of gratitude for the Mystery pulsing within & for the Creator of this amazing form.
(8) Finished To Be Honest, memoir abt growing up in a family that was radically honest. Poignant & insightful. Adding to favorites. Run am & pm. Pushups. Nap. Cold/Heat. Led meditation.
24(8) In harmony with life as it is. Acceptance. Grateful for this gift of life: its suffering & joys, wins & loses, the good & bad. Enjoying the s***show!
(8) Sis is a massage therapist. Got a free massage, then yoga nidra. Going to take her out to lunch.
(8) Drove 2 Red Rock Canyon with sis to film. Uploaded a song I was editing on plane with new software: https://soundcloud.com/j-felix-408176358 Experiments with different genres of music.
25(8) Rumi: The wound is the place where the Light enters you. What hurts you, blesses you. The cure for pain is in the pain. Stand the pain. The sky will bow to your beauty, if you do...
(8) Airport. Good 2 see sis. Finished Breath. Great book. Lots of practical strategies for improving health, managing emotions with breath and other minor changes to enhance well-being. Will apply.
(7) Happy to be home, but itching to travel again. Thought Kittenz would be happy to see me. Nah...
26(7) Connection. Meditation.
(4) Hard to communicate with so much anger & bitterness in my heart for the X. Disdain & mistrust cloud judgment. The practice of forgiveness & compassion might heal this hurt if I trust that power.
27(7) Led meditation class. Contributing 2 well-being of others snapped me out of funk. Boys learning 2solder. Finding the good. When upset, I filter during refractory period, minimizing good 2 valid8 emotn28(6) 5.5. Rounding up. Back to campus. Preferred working remotely, more time. Late wakeup. Modified morning routines: used Paced Breathing app to slow breath to 4-6 per min while preparing for work.
(5) Woke from nightmare where I was beating son for defiance as I had been irl. Yesterday, J was hard on himself bc soldering project failed. Helped him process frustration, challenge distortion & reframe
(6) Hour of breathwork. 9 rounds of hyperventilation+breath holding. As chemoreceptors tolerate higher thresholds of CO2 buildup, baselines are reset. Improves ability to remain calm in discomfort...
(7) A run to boost mood. Finished book on science of fear. Appreciate the objective, scientific study of emotions. It's similar to the curious, open, nonjudgmental attitude we adopt in meditation.
(5) Light run, music, laying brick. Project taking more time & costing more $ than expected. Listening to audiobook on Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Good stuff. Similar to exercises we do in meditation.
29(8) 'Do not be confirmed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.' That's a Christian way of saying F*ck the world!
(7) Shoulder workout. Yoga nidra for midday reset. Run to youth center to work with kids & teens. Uploaded to Soundcloud.
30(7) Experimenting w/sleep tape 2 force nasal breathing. Neti wash+Tibetan Tsa lung+kapalabhati w/Wim Hof Method seems 2 improve pulmonary capacity, CO2 tolerance & retention. Using paced breathing app...
(8) Introducing kids to the mathematics of rhythm. None of that Sally has 6 apples b.s. Using drumbit. Exposing them to polyrhythms & best drummers from different traditions: Ghosh/tabla, Hidalgo/conga...
(7) Daughter helped space bricks. Cute. CAD/CNC cancelled; registered 4 MIG/TIG welding. Completed basic Italian app. Didnt learn much, but keeps mind greased. Finished book: Acceptance Commitment Therapy
31(6) Squeezed in some yoga nidra. While I didnt go as deep as I would have liked, def difference in energy, affect & mental clarity.
(6) Lessons from kids: why walk when you can run or skip; feel fully, then let go & play; smile a lot; when you laugh, really let go; pay attention to the details on a butterfly's wing; trees R 4 climbing
(8) 2nd round of yoga nidra @ work. Went deeper. Found tote bag 4Brompton. Will try to board plane w/it as carry-on. If I pull it off, will change how I travel. Downloaded Logic Pro. Grateful for my life.
April
MTWTFSS
   1(5) 3am wakeup. Tired. Mild headache. 1h meditation. @work green leadership. More defections. Planning my exit. Too bad X wants to stay. I had offers from great schools out of state. Can't leave kids tho.
(6) Midday break. Mental reset.
(6) Two 30 minute nidra sessions @ work. Rested another 30 min @ home. Must've been exhausted. Feeling rested now.
(8) So grateful. Kids helped grout. Packed. Flying to DC to visit niece + work.
2(8) Brompton fit in overhead compartment. Excited abt that. Means I can get around under own power & save $. Nxt steps: add Swytch electric kit & outfit 4 touring.
(8) A nut has to sit in darkness for a time and crack before it can become a tree.
3(9) Breathwork+meditation+deep sleep. Deep appreciation 4 the many gifts given to enjoy this moment. Celebrating blessings of mobility, sight, hearing, breath, health, cognition, awareness, life itself.
(7) Run. Took kitten to park. Hardware store for materials. Nap.
(6) Finished tiling stall. Finished Being Wrong, a book on... being wrong. Appreciated author's investigation into human fallibility, inflexibility, hubris & aversion to being wrong...
4(7) Slept well. Usual morning routines to orient mind toward peace & joy. Looking fwd to day. Setting intentions. Progress toward goals inner & outer.
(8) cooking a.m. (Chinese fried rice, pupusas, tortilla Española, energy bites); music p.m. https://soundcloud.com/j-felix-408176358/reggae
(8) Nap. Took Kittenz to park, then river. I waded in. Cold. Uploaded blog post. Edited video. Finished a book on Polyvagal theory. It's a physiological approach to wellness. Our states shape our stories
5(8) 4.7mi (7.5km) run 2work. Will cover same distance home. Getting miles in. Teaching children communication frameworks. Explicit instruction+psych techniques (eg cognitive distortions, polyvagal theory)
(7) Applying Mew Technique. Chewing hard gum to sculpt morphology. Hard chewing develops tone of jaw muscles. Tongue chewing sculpts palate. Result: improved breathing, sleep, digestion...in theory anyway
(2) Fellas, marry wrong & you will pay for it month after month year after year. Enter any contract and you will pay for breaching of contract. Marriage is different. You could be a good husband & father.
6(5) Uninterrupted night's sleep. Breath work (humming+polyphonics) & meditation. Metta for myself & others (including X). Body stiff. Tired. Day begins.
(6) Clouds lifting in mind sky. Top down strategies like acceptance & radical responsibility + bottom up strategies (mindful movement) alleviate the self-imposed constrictions. If I can impose, I can undo
(7) Ordered Swytch electric kit for Brompton. Intangible idea is becoming tangible. Goal coming to fruition. The ability to create in the material world from thought is affirming. Thoughts become things.
(7) Wait! You're telling me Ron Watkins, the conspiracy theorist behind QAnon, is half Asian & Enrique Torres, the leader of Proud Boys, is AfroCuban? Haha! What a joke! Appreciating irony. White Power!
(5) Tired. Boxing gear for boys. I'm a pacifist, but loved the sport. Learned to stay calm in the ring. Anyway, want my kids to learn the art of self-defense. It is possible to strike with compassion.
7(6) To-do-list: cycle 2 work, prep lesson, record audio track, TIG/MIG welding. To-be-list: curious, kind toward self & others, present (notice some new detail you've missed).
(7) Not Wayne Dyer fan, but this one's a gem: 'What you think about expands.' Practice gratitude & you find more to appreciate. The more grateful, the more content.
(5) Little-self maintenance is exhausting.
(5) CAD/CNC class canceled, so registered 4welding. Attended, but dont have bandwidth or any pressing projects where I can apply learning. Will prob drop & re-register when I have something specific 2 do.
8(7) Life's a gift, but a puzzle my puny intellect cannot solve. I asked my cat abt the Mystery, she purred. I asked the sun, it shone. I asked the pine tree, it stood. Just be. Just allow. Just accept.
(7) Teaching 8 year olds life skills: how to breathe to self-regulate, communication frameworks, the science of well being, the emotional timeline- http://atlasofemotions.org/
(5) Pour 1 cup salt into 2 cups water. Drink. Body rejects. Pour 1 cup salt into freshwater lake. Drink. Salt imperceptible. Analogy: Salt=problems; container=mind- spacious & open or closed & narrow?
(7) 45m yoga nidra during lunch break. Went deep... Baikal Lake deep. Feeling human again.
(6) Finished 1st audiobook in Portuguese. 65% comprehensible. I can read it, but pronunciation was harder. Have been spending time w/language- news feeds+guided meditations in Por. Aiming for fluency.
9(9) Grateful for my mother! Kept my promise to my dad to look after her. ?10(6) Finished Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty. Completed 50 day news fast+50 day YouTube ban (except for tutorials or relevant content I needed for work or projects). Failed 50 day complaint free challenge
(8) Breakfast. Gardening with daughter. Heading to Boston shortly for injera bread, accessories to outfit Brompton for next week's tour & to see T-Rex. Love that girl. Miss her.
11(8) Met T yesterday, the last woman I was intimate with before going monk. She melted into my embrace. Felt good, I admit. Kiss was soft & unexpected. Bad boy. Think like a monk. Think like a monk. hehe.
(6) Midday nap. Early morning run to market. Run+groceries done. Bicycle upgrade+home improvement next to-dos.
12(6) New day. May I use the mind well. May I go deeper into Mystery.
(5) Mild sadness & disappointment. Position I applied for closed. Guessing they restructured & suspended search. Accepting & trusting.
13(7) What a difference a good night's sleep makes!
(7) Don't judge; bless. OK, how? Hmm, downloaded Blipblip app. Chimes every 20m- a reminder to extend goodwill. Why? Counters both negativity bias & attribution error. What's neg bias? Tendency to see neg
(5) Sad. Spoke w/colleague. New admin team destroying culture. I agree. Worried abt possible risks assoc w/ change, but planning anyway. Need to be independent. Scary... but exciting, too. Hopeful&nervous
(7) 2nd vax shot. Grateful to researchers, scientists, businesses that distribute them, govts coordinating effort, medical team.
14(5) Blah. Vax symptoms mild but feeling it in body which affects mind/mood. Should've stayed in bed. Will rest midday and/or go home early if condition worsens. Fight, Immune System! Fight! Fight! Fight!
(5) Coworker's father dying. I sit with her. Sounds like today or tomorrow will be his last day here. Practicing gratitude this a.m., an 8 year old boy said, 'Grateful to walk this earth.' Me, too.
(5) 20m yoga nidra a.m. + 1h nidra p.m. Headache. Lungs feel constricted. Breath work. Took shower + 2 Tylenol. This is temp. Compassion for those who suffer chronic pain. May they find relief!
15(6) Slept 12 hours. A lot of sweating last night. Guess immune system is now battle ready.
(5) Colleague's father passed. Sad around that. Life is precious & brief. Pausing to wonder what lies behind the mystery. Might be a homecoming, but for us on this side of ignorance- grief & loss.
16(6) Not as centered as I was during lockdown. Less time for hobbies, passion projects, self-care, balance. Insight is unsettling but only because it demands a positive response. I can accept & reframe...
(8) Indian food. Celebrating mom's birthday. Grateful for my life.
17(6) Fort Lauderdale, FL. Was hoping to find a spot to camp out... hosteling instead. Maybe tomorrow.18(6) Found quiet spot in a mangrove to camp. But forgot bivvy sack (a kind of shelter). What an amateur mistake! Of all the items to forget. The bugs will be crawling over me tonight. Please no mosquitoes.
19(8) Slept ok. No mosquitoes. Florida's coastline is crowded with people, hotels, beachfront homes. Found my own quiet spot in the mangroves. No humans! Solitude.
(7) Glad to be home. Editing videos. Finished book on neuroscience of memory. Useful.
20(7) It takes many years of concentrated effort & practice to become good at anything. Anything could also be pessimism, self-hatred, complaining, self-absorption, etc. 'Use your mind well.' -Dhammapada
(7) Unexpected bonus. Friend offered beachfront home to host meditation retreats. That was unexpected, too. Finishes Chatter: The Inner Voice, Why It Matters & How to Harness.
(7) Old college roommate getting married. OMG! I'm super excited!!! Can't wait for the wedding = stuff guys don't say. hehe. Knocked out 750 pushups. Booyah! Breath work before bed.
21(6) Being petty & judgmental. Sarcastic. Gossiping. What's the need here? Maybe Little Self feels insignificant. Wants to feel special, better than. Trying to mask insecurities. It's all good, little one
(6) 5 min morning meditation not enough. Irritation build-up. Colleagues frustrated. Holding that. Still, upbeat because I have strategies to correct, reorient & reframe. A 30 min reset & I'm good.
(8) Cycled to work. A few dozen pullups. Midday reset. 3 mi run. Music. Art. Letters of appreciation from parents & students.
22(7) Using BlipBlip 4 interval training of mind, specifically 2 counter tendency 2 judge, criticize & find fault. Blips every 20m. Allows me 2 correct, extend compassion&goodwill. Ego resists. Growth edge.
(8) introducing children to Heart Maths heart rate variability sensors & science of self regulation. Most impactful lessons I can share. Everything else is secondary.
23(6) Created enemy image of someone. Reacting to illusion I've miscreated in my head with thought. Now I need to undo/delete/erase the monster I've conjured. Curious abt why mind does this.24(8) Flowers... beauty & perfection. Stamens surrounding pistil. Beads of water on wood table. Appreciating details. Tadpole morphs into frog, caterpillar to butterfly, seed to tree, egg to human.25(7) Feelings dont define reality. You feel defeated, but you still show up. You feel beaten down, but you still get up. There's strength in you.
(7) T stopped by. She wants a relationship; I don't. Happy to be a friend+support her, but I prefer the monk's life 4 now. She feels good in my arms, but not breaking discipline or compromising strength.
26(7) Time for yoga nidra The human needs rest.
(6) 'I must be cruel to be kind.' Sometimes compassion demands fierce honesty. If my child is about to run into traffic & I yell at him or grab him forcefully, it may hurt. Love is not always gentle.
27(7) Planted tomatoes, eggplant, mint. Hope it's not too early.28(5) Slept poorly. Tired. Affecting mood. Mild lethargy. Brain fog.
(7) A bush. New leaves budding. Thorns red at base, beige tipped. Beautiful details everywhere in nature. When mind is still, not stuck in thought, I notice...
(6) A box of licorice tea from colleague. Appreciating the kindness. Nature walk with students, then hrv training. Communication: intro to Gottmans 4 Horsemen + antidotes, cognitive distortions, practice.
(5) mild irritation. once triggered, brain finds more of same.
(8) Bought a galvanized steel stock tank. Will use for ice baths as portable one had a tear. Going to build sauna soon. For now, portable UV sauna suffices. Led meditation in Spanish.
29(6) Experimenting with sleep tape. Taping mouth shut with strip of painter's tape at night to force nasal breathing. Last night forgot, affected quality of sleep.
(6) Mediating conflict. To he heard & seen, takes time, care & skill. I don't fix. I create space so people can be heard & understood. The process itself does the work. Open to learning more.
(7) Back to old routine: 1-3 rounds of sauna/ice bath. Feels good. Cold sucks when in it, but invigorating afterward. The discipline of relaxing into discomfort is transferable & valuable.
30(6) meditation. ice bath am. cycling on St John's wort & ginseng for balance & energy. Cycled to work. Modeling my workout routine for kids. 50 pushups every half hour. Adds up. Some emulate.
May
MTWTFSS
     1(4) Friend's husband died this morning. Was hoping he'd recover from cancer. Their 2 children were students of mine. Most loving family I know. Very concerned for A. She's strong, but...
(8) Led meditations in English & Spanish. Bonfire on beach with kids, cat & friends.
2(7) Early wakeup. Breath work (Wim Hof, bhastrika, sodarshan) & meditation (focused attention, Conscious Mental Rest, body scan). Fell asleep. Rested.
(8) Piano. Friend visited. Back workout. Shake: protein, ashwagandha, ginseng, macuna pruriens, chia, flax meal, fruits, peanut butter. Ticket 2Florida 4 weekend. Yoga nidra. Taking kids 2 beach+icecream
(7) Homemade pizza for fam. Prepped kids lunches. Sitting in sauna before ice bath plunge. Shower then bed. Wishing peace and blessings to all.
3(7) Slept well. 30m meditation. a.m. cold bath, protein shake+matcha, ashwagandha, ginseng, muruna pruriens, peanut butter, flax, chia, fruit. Prepped breakfast for kids. Ready for day/week.
(6) Lunch: pizza, fruit, raw veggies. Raw veggies take no prep. No nutrient loss. Harder to chew, working jaw muscles; changes morphology of face, promotes more effective breathing.Ready for midday reset.
(7) Sauna, then ice. 5HTP & moon milk before bed: triphala, cinnamon, honey, cloves, cardamom, coconut, nutmeg, turmeric, ginger.
4(7) Communication focus: needs vs strategies. When we are clear abt our needs, we can choose more effective vs maladaptive strategies for meeting them. I need a drink is a strategy. I need peace is a need
(8) Yoga nidra. Midday reset. Mind is clear, calm & rested. Simple habits to restore mind to its natural state.
(8) Planted broccoli, cabbage, cilantro & cucumber w/daughter. Son met new friend @ park yesterday. Sounds like home life is unstable. Terrific kid. I thank God for the connection. He'll be safe here.
5(7) Todays communication strategy for students: requests versus demands. Easiest way to tell the difference is by what follows if I say no. If punishment, stonewalling, etc follow, it was demand.
(8) Grateful... even for misfortunes & setbacks. It all resolves to the good for my soul.
(5) Irritated by overwhelm. Too much to do, too many demands on my time from too many quarters. Got most done, but simmering annoyance here. Time for bed: unplug, let go, relax.
6(7) 40m meditation, cold bath, supplements. Brought kettlebell to work. Mini arm workouts during downtime. Looking to improve strength in coming months.
(7) HRV exercises. Found 5.5 breaths per min whilst seated yielded highest hrv versus lying down & 4 bpm. Will experiment with class to see if their results improve. Today's CBT lesson: catastrophizing.
7(6) Intention: maintain 7:1 positive to negative comment ratio w/children, loved ones, students. Ratio researchers found in healthy relationships. Squats while on duty. 15 kindergarteners mimicked. Cute.8(7) Canceled trip. Needed rest. Slept in. Feels good.9(8) Could've spent weekend camping beach side, snorkeling. Chose to stay home & rest. Needed this more than sunshine & surf. Enjoyed mundane things: playing piano til wrists were sore, gardening, reading
(8) Blessings to all moms on this Mother's Day.
(9) 2 neighborhood boys stopped by. They made themselves right @ home. Had Alexa play their favorite music @ full volume, used gym, joined us for lunch. To win trust of kids is a joy & responsibility.
10(8) Enjoying this gift of being human. I don't understand the Mystery that animates this frame I call 'my body.' Pretending to know numbs curiosity & limits possibility. Appreciating the unknowns.11No Reasons12No Reasons13(7) Took day off to rest. 4 me, downside to celibacy (no PMO) is build up of sexual energy which manifests physically as intense headache, mentally as a restless desire. Was tempted to call T.
(7) Reharming. Watched Jacob Collier reharm a Herbie Hancock melody for inspiration. Sick! Discovered Lewis Taylor. Psychedelia. Feeling that!
14(6) Sunshine. Exploring dances from around the world with children- Kuduro (Angola), Azonto (Ghana), Baile de Los Viejitos (Mexico), Popping/Dubstep (USA). Next week, classical Indian & Bhangra, haka (NZ)15(9) Last min flt to Florida 4 beachside camping.. Snorkeling.16No Reasons
17(8) Glad to be home. Slept well. 1 hour of meditation. Deep absorption.18No Reasons19(5) A technique is like a canoe I use to reach the opposite shore. Now that I've crossed over, I leave the canoe behind. What helped would now be a hindrance if I continued with a canoe on my back.
(5) That an historically oppressed people could be so oppressive is sad, but not surprising. We unequivocally support this. Hypocrisy. Disgusted with humanity atm.
20(6) In How Emotions are Made, neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett asserts that brain constructs emotional experience. Consistent w/claims made by advanced meditators. Emotions don't just happen to us.
(6) 'When I say responsibility, I'm not saying people are to blame for the tragedies in their lives... Sometimes we're responsible for things not because they're our fault...
21(9) Sitting in ophthamologist's chair. Getting eye exam. Optmap captured image of eye. I could see the retinal nerve which looks like a root. AMAZING!22No Reasons23(7) Morning with my children. Son helped with garden. Grateful. Building vanity for bathroom. Walk by the beach with friend/mentor. Troubleshooting tech issues. Time on piano. Finished Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad, a memoir of illness & recovery.
24(7) Finished Awakening Your Ikigai by Ken Mogi. Ikigai is a concept of Japanese origin. Ikigai is shorthand for these 5 habits: starting small, attention to detail, mindful presence in the here & now, non-attachment/no self (doing the work for the work's sake-not for self-promotion or aggrandizement), and sustainability (some of the oldest extant businesses in the world are in Japan). Useful reminder25(5) Flat... and the skies are blue; I notice. The trees sway with the wind, shadows reflecting off my steering wheel as I sit in my car which is parked in the driveway. I'm in no hurry to walk in the house. Decompressing, observing the cirrus clouds & flowers in bloom.
(6) Finished Think Again by Adam Grant, a book about challenging our biases, assumptions, etc. Good reminders. Took daughter & cat to park. Cat is popular with kids. Cute.
26(7) Raw garlic clove for health. Cycled to work. Commissioned to create meditation video in Spanish. Hope to finish today. Extra money earmarked for a laser cutter. Want to create/sell themed seizan benches. Also could use for home remodeling projects. Looking to create Japanese themed room- tatami matted, sliding fusuma or shoji doors, etc
(6) Reading Ilhan Omar's memoir. I admire her pluck & fighting spirit. First Black Muslim woman & Somali refugee to be elected to the House. She was opposed by Somali elders in her community who held strong patriarchal views. She was also opposed by many Muslims who renounced her embrace of the LGBTQ+ community. Agree or disagree with her politics, I admire her confidence, resilience & spirit.
27(6) A few of my cat's groupies found out where we lived. Daughter & I went to park. That cat is a minor celebrity. The kids are adorable!28No Reasons29(8) Day 1 of a 3 day fast. Canceled travel plans. Preferring to relax at home. The inner refuge of mind is as beautiful as any place I've been.30No Reasons
31(7) Day 3. Breaking my fast today. I'll do a longer one over the summer when I have the time to go deeper, allowing the body to weaken & recover. Broke my celibacy vow with T. Not sure how I feel abt that. She loves me, but I'm too detached, too indifferent. I'm trying to cut worldly attachments, not add more links to the chain of bondage. Oh well. I'll sort it out.
(7) First meal to restore my strength. Dreams are vivid when I fast. In one, I met an aboriginal elder & shaman who wanted to instruct me on dreamtime. His name was Wangyal or something like that. When I woke up, Googled Aboriginal wangyal. Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist teacher has a book on: The Tibetan Yogas of Dream & Sleep. Going to get that book. Also found reference to Wandjina...
June
MTWTFSS
 1(7) Reading Brain Fog Fix & How Emotions Are Made. Both emphasize importance of the basics for optimizing health & well-being. No surprises: diet, exercise, sleep, meditation, nurturing social connections, gratitude, cognitive reappraisal. It's all abt maintaining proper body budget & chemistry. Diet is OK, but need to make minor adjustments: avoiding sugar, eating foods w/low glycemic index.
(8) Upbeat. Optimistic. Hopeful. Financial review. Totalling up assets. No liabilities or debt other than mortgage. Not where I want to be, but I have a plan. Saving aggressively, investing. The elder I will be is depending on this younger me to get it right. What I save and invest is for him and his descendants. They will also bear the cost of my extravagance, excesses, or failure to plan.
(5) Flat. Tired. Ebb in circadian cycle. Low tide.
2(7) Dreams have been instructive lately and profound in their subtlety. Nicola Tesla, Einstein, Edison, Benjamin Franklin & other luminaries used the dream state to stretch the imagination, to problem solve and to tap into the creativity of the subconscious mind. Memory is consolidated during sleep. In adults, neural plasticity is enhanced. Silva Method has strategies I'll revisit.
(5) Flat. Low energy. A midday reset might help. Guessing my mood is a function of weariness.
(6) 30 min midday meditation/reset. Rested just enough to recover balance. Cycled home. Stopped @ health food store for power foods: quinoa, sprouted grain bread, flaxseed meal (for my shakes), nutritional yeast. Don't know what to do with quinoa. Chickpea salad maybe? An hour on piano. Back workout all day... pull-ups, rows- 525 reps so far. Mask mandate lifted for the vaccinated. Relief.
3(7) Slept poorly. Creatine/triphala powder washed down with homemade ginger + turmeric juice before bed probably messed up sleep cycle. Some experiments fail. Feeling good atm though.
(5) Tired. Human weary. Need a word for that feeling. It's a kind of cave-longing, a need for space, quiet, no-doing. Heading to bed. Vacationing soon.
4(8) Took day off. Driving with fam to New York City to visit uncle. Meditation, yoga, exercise, healthy breakfast & lunch. Mind calm.
(5) 7 hour drive drained brain's battery. This present NOW is my point of power; it's where I can recharge. All things considered- rain, traffic, an accident- much more even keeled than I would've predicted.
5No Reasons6No Reasons
7(5) Morning meditation. Healthy breakfast. Watered the garden. Mild case of work dread. The work is aligned with my purpose, but the job is not. This realization nags at me, demanding action. I am working toward that end... slowly. Too slowly it seems. The output does not match the urgency. Ah well. There are more pressing problems & much greater suffering in this world than the petty ones of mine.
(7) Drove to sawmill. Picked up rough cut board with live edges for rustic vanity top. I cut it to size and sanded it. Will stain this week. Working with my hands takes me out of my head. Guess that's one reason why I enjoy it so much. I'm more present.
8(5) Tired. Mild headache. Off purpose.
(6) Nap helped. Root issue- closer alignment to purpose- won't resolve with a nap. But a clear mind helps. This transition may take time, but the resolve is there and the intent is strong. The next 3 months will be telling. Use the time wisely.
9(7) Day off. Slept well. Meditation.10(5) Enjoyed time with T, but she wants a relationship. Yuck! Woke up with a headache. 2 days of mtgs ahead. Blah!
(7) Planning last minute trip to L.A.
11No Reasons12(6) Crap! Missed flight. Rerouted. Looking forward to seeing family and friends.13(9) Wonderful to see & connect with people I love dearly.
14(10) Got to see family, friends and former students who are now thriving young adults with families. My heart is full!15(9) Grateful. Heart full of peace, love. Closer to purpose & passions whilst on vacation. Puzzle for creative mind to solve: How do I turn vacation into vocation? Put another way: How do I make my avocation my vocation? OK, get to it Subconscious.
(6) Many flights have been delayed. Many passengers are stuck. They're angry, frustrated. I get it. My flight was delayed 3 hours. Definitely not the first time. But don't take it out on the agents, people! They're trying to help. They're not lords of the skies. Many are lashing out on them. Childish. Not cool. I bought the agents a bunch of snacks & drinks to lift their spirits + offset the bs.
16(9) Happy to be home, to sleep in my own bed, to see Ms. Kittenz, my children & neighbors. Jet lagged but my heart is content. Cat nip growing in my garden is attracting strays. #PusherMan17No Reasons18(8) Scheduling trips to visit people I love- guys who are like brothers to me in Arizona, my nephew in Montana, aunt in New Jersey, uncle in New York, college friends in California. Love needs to watered with time & attention. Will be criss-crossing the country this summer for love's sake.
(8) Took car in for inspection. All is well. I want to keep her for as long as I can. She has 165,000 miles on the odometer and is 9 years old. She's been faithful. In another 20 years she'll be a classic. She's paid for and gets me where I need to go. A paint job and some minor body work is all she needs to look like new. I respect the engineering and mechanics that went into building her.
19(7) My cat is a chick magnet. A cat on a leash is like a Ferrari without the ridiculous sticker price.
(8) Short, restorative power nap. Felt like I was out for an hour. Only 15 minutes. Feeling refreshed. Led short meditation session.
(6) Took daughter to a birthday party. Then visited a friend recovering from pneumonia. Made him soup. Watched Luca with daughter. Bedtime. Good night, good morning or good day.
20(7) Slept well & deeply. Refreshed. Ready to enjoy another day. May all be free from suffering. May all experience true peace and happiness. May we grow in compassion & love for ourselves & others.
(8) Boys made me breakfast for Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to all dads. https://youtu.be/fUR5ks-t9TI
(7) Somewhat productive. Worked on bathroom, some music. Kinda wanted to accomplish a bit more: exercise, writing...
21(9) 4 hour drive to New Jersey. Had dinner with an old friend from high school. Chillin in Brooklyn with my uncle22(5) Blah. Flat. But started exercising again after a 2 week pause. Time on piano. Art. Yoga later. Fear & worry around changes to come.23(8) Cooked with T: Jamaican ital stew & ratatouille. Designed 2 meditation themed tshirts: https://www.instagram.com/p/CQfGItTMAxa/?utm_medium=copy_link24(8) Phoenix, Arizona. Staying with a friend who is like family. He's experienced more challenges in last few years than I knew about. Happy to be here.25(9) Excellent meditation practice. Set interval bells to ring every 2min for 1 hour. Moving attention throughout body, resting in 30 different locations. Exploring subtle movements throughout, heightened interoception & proprioception. Concentrating power & attention. Taking back power instead of diffusing it. Still need to learn how to control heart rate. How do the yogis do it?
(8) Drove to Tucson to visit a friend who is as close as a brother to me. Enjoyed time with him, his wife, children, grandchildren and foster kids. A lot of love in that house.
26(9) Pranayama: bhastrika, kapalbhati, bahya, nauli kriya, then meditation: body scanning. Friend wants to start a business. Saw his email this morning. Asked me if I'd be willing to teach meditation. Definitely open.
(7) Drove to Sedona for filming. Beautiful landscapes.
27No Reasons
28(8) 2am wakeup. About to cycle to airport again. Yesterday, made it to gate as passengers were boarding. Couldn't get a seat though (I fly standby). Cycled back to friend's apt (32m/51.5km). Good exercise. Napped, then hit gym for full body workout. Jumped in pool. It's hot here (110F/43C). It's abt 80F/26C now. Will load Brompton then ride.
(7) Punctured front tire on ride to airport. Replaced inner tube. Just made my flight. Layover in Baltimore. Looking forward to home. Feeling deeply grateful. Wishing all peace and health.
29(7) Slept 12 hours. 1h meditation. Ginger/turmeric beverage + creatine. Added pliability training to exercise regimen. Used roller, peanut ball & bands. Copping ideas from Tom Bradys TB12 Method. Yoga. Ital stew & eggs for breakfast. Feeling rested, healthy, ready for the day. In love with this life.
(8) 30m nap. Just right. Did some work @ immigration center. Helping them set up new language lab: connectivity, configuration, setup, etc.
(8) Took son to swim lesson. Saw friends there. Coached son through strength/conditioning exercises. Father-son bonding. My mother was with us. She got some exercise in too.
30(6) Sleep was suboptimal which reflects in mood and overall affect. Tiredish. A nap will likely correct. Friend helping with plumbing job; I'm helping him with resume. More pliability training this morning. Added that to regimen. Think it will make a difference. Muscles will be longer, relaxed, smoother. Already noticing improved mobility, flexibility. Less discomfort when I use roller & peanut ball.
(5) Tired. Grumpy. Travel plans botched. But day was good overall. Plumbing in bathroom is done. Did some tech work at immigration assistance center, gardening.
July
MTWTFSS
   1(5) Another night of poor sleep. Affecting mood. Cranky, but containing it. Long day ahead. Flying to Las Vegas with kids to visit Big Sis-my favorite person on earth. Kids are excited. Daddy Discipline needs to temper their excitement so that it doesn't spillover at 30,000 feet. Attending to all details- slip off shoes, no metal, electronics at the ready to remove at security checkpoint, snacks, etc.
(7) Made it to Las Vegas safely. Kids did well. Explained my expectations before the flight.
(10) Great to see sis. Kids were very excited. I've never seen my daughter this happy. Met an old friend at airport. That was a bonus. It's hot here, but sis has a pool. She decorated their room with balloons and gifts. I love her!
2(7) Went to 3 different markets for spices, fruits, vegetables and other foods. Sis wants to improve her diet. Got her the basics to prepare different international dishes and juices. Will be cooking for her & her housemates in the coming days. Brings me joy. Kids are happy. They spent most of the day in the pool.3(7) Slightly better night's sleep. Circadian rhythms still off. Adjusting to 3h time difference. Morning meditation (pranayama + body scan). Tortilla española & caramelized Brussel sprouts for breakfast. Ethiopian coffee. Time in pool w/kids. Want to experiment with sister's Cricut with them. Boys school in BOS contacted me. Interviewed yesterday for giggles. 30k more. What? That got my interest.4(5) Irritated. Cooking, cleaning, buying stuff needed to keep family well fed while the rest relax in jacuzzi, watch TV, play video games. Feeling aggravated like the Little Red Hen, except I'm not above speaking my mind before it escalates. Going to nap off grumpiness then insist others help with meal prep, cleaning, etc. And they have. Just want others to shoulder more, but they don't know how.
(6) 2 naps helped. Going to alternate bet jacuzzi & ice bath for a few rounds.
5No Reasons6(6) Hiking with kids. Prepared egg drop soup for breakfast, falafels for lunch, Ethiopian food for dinner. Midday nap. Pool time with kids + jacuzzi & ice bath. Made time for artwork & scriptwriting. Video 1 is almost complete.7(6) Heading home. Grateful.8No Reasons9(5) 1am wakeup. Neck pain- stiff, hard to move. Other mobility issues. Hmm. Guessing long hours sitting triggered this, but not underlying cause. Oh well. 2 Tylenol & hot shower helped a little. 230am. Back in bed. Might as well meditate as mind is alert.10(6) Slept in, then enjoyed a midday nap. Needed that. Tired. Guessing the travel and jet lag have taken their toll on the body. Light workout. Watched movies. Early to bed. Wishing all good health, rest, peace.11(7) Meditation was targeted. Training was deliberate. 3 different techniques. With each, focus was specific.
(8) Weeding. Will harvest a few eggplants, kale and broccoli for lunch. Leg workout. Nap. Took kitten to park. https://www.instagram.com/p/CRMho8ds-U2/?utm_medium=share_sheet
(6) More gardening. Prepared a Moroccan eggplant/lentil dish. Groceries & bank deposit. Wish I had more time for music, art & writing. Light meditation before bed. Good night or good day to all.
12(7) Gym. Good meals & healthy shakes/juices. Dialing down on nutrition. The more I learn about gut health, the enteric brain, and the gut/brain connection, the more mindful I am about what I put in my mouth. Music. Artwork. 2 hours teaching programming @ youth center. Paid mortgage. Got ticket. Heading to Los Angeles in a few days.13No Reasons14(5) Flat & a little sad. Accepting it.15(7) Flight cancelled. Rebooked. Drove home. Went to gym. Took a nap. Enjoyed lunch. Took cat for a walk. Returned to airport mid afternoon. Waiting to board. Snacking on carrots, asparagus, almonds. Calm.16(9) Spending time with the people I love. Everybody has a story. Catching up on everyone's drama, sufferings, triumphs. Such is the human condition. No one gets out of here unscathed or untutored. Life assigns each soul a curriculum for its growth & edification. Some of the lessons are hard; our greatest teachers often present as our greatest adversaries... or so I tell myself in my unknowingness.17(10) Led a guided meditation at a dojo in Los Angeles. Feels good to help others and to connect them with their own beauty and power.
(5) Ex-wife demanding more as per usual. Behaviors like hers disgust me! Marriage was the single biggest mistake of my life! By far the dumbest decision I ever made. #regrets
18(8) Time with friends. Great to see A. I love her so much. Happy that she's in a good place. Don't think she realizes how good. I highlighted it.
19No Reasons20(7) San Antonio, TX w/T. She really cares abt me. I hold her love that with deep appreciation and tenderness... but I'm apprehensive, too.
(7) Finished Adrenal Thyroid Revolution: A Proven 4 Week Program to Rescue Your Metabolism, Hormones, Mind and Mood, by Aviva Romm, MD. Definitely recommend for all women- her target audience... and the men who love them (fathers, husbands, lovers, etc).
21No Reasons22(8) Slept well. Breathwork. Collected data on O2 & heart rate while practicing. Cold bath. T made breakfast. Working on videos, scripts, voice-overs. Hope to complete today + record video.23(7) Enjoyed time w/T. Trip was too short. Boarding soon. Heading home.
(8) Home. Enjoying time with children.
24No Reasons25(5) Family drama. Slept poorly. Sore throat + mild headache. It'll pass. Breathwork + meditation with hrv sensor. Results not as good as when healthy & rested. Healthy breakfast +fresh juices, ice bath & sauna, exercise + nap may help.
(6) Kale chips and a Mediterranean eggplant dish with sesame rice for dinner. ginger tea with mint. carrots/turmeric root drink. Many, eggplant & kale from garden. Chest workout, yoga, pliability training. Sitting in sauna. 3 rounds of sauna/ice bath. Hope these measures help body recover sooner from whatever it is that is ailing it. Everyone in household at Ts & with X were sick. Tag. You're it.
26(7) Still sick, but mobile. Poor night's sleep, but will nap. Shoulder, back workout. Yoga & pliability training. Legs stiff tho. Enjoying an Andrew Huberman podcast. Sitting in sauna, then ice bath. Preparing ital stew for breakfast though it is almost noon. Need to add more fermented foods to diet. 1st video complete. Hope 2 record voice over for 2nd video today.
(7) Sick. Blah. It'll pass. Accepting. It has already reminded me of the preciousness of good health. Grateful. Spent most of day scripting & recording. Productive. Wishing all peace & health.
27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons