January
MTWTFSS
    1No Reasons2(5) New year was bad emotionally. Today was ok and i've got to leave the American behind me and move forward with positivity3(7) Muddy walk with friends
4(5) Work cancelled me tomorrow. We are anticipating another full lockdown. I hope Im not out of work again for the month5No Reasons6(5) 1 week into the new year and my resolution not to miss him is wavering.7No Reasons8(6) So I got through another day without calling him. That's good9(5) Gave in and phoned him. Yes I cried. At least now there is no ambiguity. It's over permanently.
(7) My sign to move on.
10(5) Still processing.....
11(5) 12(6) Friend hosting an online pub quiz. It's fun13(4) Lockdown loneliness14No Reasons15(5) I'm so cold. Duvet isn't helping. :( Tried to do mountain climbers- lasted 15 seconds, supposed to do 2 mins. :( Avoided the injection today. :) Don't like the pressure16(6) I'm on a diet! Usually I exercise lots and diet nil. But gyms are closed and my weight has increased far to fast. Day 2. And I feel so full. :)17(6) Friend asked me to go walk with her and her dog. It was my motivation to get out of bed. I'm grateful to her.
18No Reasons19(7) I've done 10 minutes minimum of exercise every day for 5 days. (Sometimes 1 hour time and energy depending) and I feel better. It is no coincidence my happiness dips when gyms have to close
(5) The older I get. The harder I take relationships ending. Perhaps each time I know time is running out to meat my person
20(7) The diet and exercise is working. I've lost 2 pounds. I don't feel different, but the scale shows it. Losing that so quickly shows its surplus. Let's hope some more comes off without difficulty21No Reasons22(6) Tired23No Reasons24No Reasons
25No Reasons26(6)
(5) I did what I promised myself I wouldn't. I started messaging the American. At the same point I will keep an emotional distance
27No Reasons28(7) 29No Reasons30No Reasons31(7)
February
MTWTFSS
1(6) After the first week, the weight is barely moving. And I miss cheese. Sigh. But I cant leave it alone if it is in the house. I'm happy though with the fact I am making meals that are healthy + nutriti2No Reasons3(7) Had the realisation today, the American was keeping me at an emotional distance as well as a physical one. It confirmed my decision to split with him was right, despite the lest few months being tough4No Reasons5(5) Work this week is scarce. But I think I could do with some me time6(6) Chill day. Did some exercise.7(7) I had an excellent date. It was the first time we met, but I think writing 1st date is presuming there will be more. Regardless. I liked him, and the company.
8(6) Lacking energy.9(5) I'm sure it's NOT zero degrees inside, but it feels like it10(5) 3 bad days for the diet. Wasn't loosing weight, so motivation dropped. Will give myself a break. Can start again tomorrow.11No Reasons12(7) Feeling progress in the hearts healing13No Reasons14(7) I had a great day with different girl friends, in reality and virtually. Happy valentine's to all the single people out there. X
15(8) Another positive day with another friend. More green day's :)16(8) Cooked pancakes. I love my new frying pans17(7) Crazy busy day at work. No time for lunch. Now I feel a desire for chocolate18No Reasons19(6) 20(8) Next date. The pandemic is making things progress slowly. I see the positive in that
(5) Already my behaviour is stupid.
21(3) I think the lovely date made me realize I've never loved anyone like I did the American. I have good days, but days the pain cuts so bad. Today is one of the latter. I resent that he ruins a great day
(6)
22(8) 23(7) Wish work was done for the day. Over tired.24(7) 25(7) Lazy day26(7) 27(7) Looking forward to date 328(9)