5 avg
  1539 days
  14765 hugs
  1No Reasons2(5) Back to work after nearly two weeks off! Yikes, I could barely remember my password. I didn't do very few of the things I planned, but I'm okay with that. Was a good time off. Feeling a bit off today.3No Reasons4No Reasons5(4) Maybe it's post-holiday letdown/dead-of-winter blues. Maybe I expect too much from people and my life despite countless evidence otherwise. But I'm feeling low today despite sunshine. Oh well.
6(4) Didn't get out to run this weekend. Ran (far fewer) treadmill miles instead. Still counts, I guess. Didn't eat as well as I should have. Full week of work. Got ghosted by someone I was talking to.7(5) Was so tired yesterday. Not sure why. Perhaps coming down with a cold. Did my run with group last night and a few miles on treadmill this AM. Work is stressful and busy this week.8No Reasons9(5) Planned to run last night, but it was so cold, and blisters are bothering me, so stayed home. Oh well, still did treadmill yesterday and today. Work has been stressful, but easier today/tomorrow.10(5) Got free tix to go to beer dinner last night. It was delicious (though slept terribly after) and fun. Even though I knew the folks I was with, I wish I was there with a friend.11No Reasons12No Reasons
13(4) Very lonely weekend, so compensated as I always do: went to a bar and ate/drank. Wanted to be better at that in the new year. Feeling all the food/beer this morning. Busy next few weeks @ work too.14(5) Trying to keep my recurring feelings of guilt and loss and sadness in perspective. This isn't anything new or worse. I can keep going and survive despite them.15(5) Yesterday was not a good day. So I compensated by going out to the bar after work and having tacos and beer. Lonely and quiet, but I guess I needed it. Better start today. 5 miles on treadmill.16(3) Feeling very down on myself today. Feeling very weak. Last night was a waste. Make too many excuses. Tired of dealing with everything by myself.17(5) Felt emotionally hung over yesterday. Focusing on perspective. I can only control this exact moment right now. The future will take care of itself. That's somewhat freeing, I guess.18No Reasons19No Reasons
20No Reasons21(5) Super cold this weekend. Managed to run 8.5 miles Saturday and 8.5 Monday on trails. So cold and snowy! But it was so beautiful yesterday, with the snow and sunshine. I loved it!22(4) Horrible night's sleep last night. Feeling pretty crummy this morning. Couldn't get on the treadmill, so have to go run snowy hills tonight in the cold. Work stress is high as well. Ugh.23(5) So tired yesterday. But did go run hills on snowy trails. Only 3.5 miles, but it was a lot of work! Fun hanging out after with folks, helped my mindset. 2 miles on treadmill this AM and more tonight.24(5) Good run last night on snowy sidewalks. Still felt a little alone with my beer in the group after. Oh well. Going to be a wet weekend (rain and snow). No plans, so will be lonely.25No Reasons26No Reasons
27(3) What a crummy weekend! Almost makes me glad to be back at work (eh). More in comments.28(5) Feeling better. Okay run last evening, but my legs are sore! Dreary weather all week. January has gone on so long...I hate this time of year. Have light lamp at work, don't know if it helps.29(5) Tuesday nights used to be my radio show. Now I kind of relish them as a calm night. Found a good bar that has good tacos and beers, and I like the quiet and solitude.30(5) I didn't go run last night. No real reason why. I know it will get easier when it's less cold and snowy. I hope so. The pressure of training is pretty heavy. At least I stayed in instead of going...
(4) Skipped the run tonight. So cold. I'm just tired of winter. January is unending. Beer and food to soothe my current mood and make me feel worse later. Life is a hard daily grind.
31(5) Last day of the month. In order to kickstart my running habit this year, I ran every day this month for at least 2 miles. Averaged 5.25 miles a day. Feel pretty good about that.
     1No Reasons2(3) Local bar did an IG poll: Do you have plans for the big game? Options were 'Of course' or 'Naw, I'm not into football'. What about the option for 'I have no friends and no one wants me around'?
3(4) Guess I expected to feel crappy day after Super Bowl. Ate and drank way too much. Game was okay. Didn't really care much. Wanted to go to bed. It's tough when you want the weekend over and don't...4(5) Knee was hurting yesterday, but had a good run anyway, surprisingly. Nice chat with a guy after about his mens' group. Intrigued. Slept ok despite dog barking at 2 am and sick this AM.5No Reasons6(5) Ran some hills last night. It was cold, and I had low energy, but glad I got it done. 5 miles on the treadmill and 20 minutes of shoveling snow this morning has me sweaty and tired at work.7No Reasons8(4) Loads of ice and snow the last two days. Barely left the house or accomplished anything. Today was wrong. Stupid drivers. People fighting (literally) in the grocery store parking lot...9No Reasons
10(4) Not a very good weekend. Didn't get out much due to snow and cold. Very lonely. Slept a lot. Finding it hard to face Monday.11(5) Feeling pretty good physically this morning. Massage yesterday helped my legs, and good icy run last night with my group. Slept pretty good, and got 5 miles on treadmill this morning.12(5) Yesterday didn't finish great. Lots of anxiety and feeling sorry for myself. Slept horribly, but managed to get up and on the treadmill. Amazing how much better I feel physically after running early.13(5) Twice I talked myself out of going running last night, but finally got out there. Was so anxious and short tempered, but running helped so much. It was hard w/ the snow. And no one else came.14(4) Didn't run again last night. Today is so cold. And I hate V Day. Made plans to meet a friend for happy hour, but forgot it was V Day. Hope that's not awkward. Stomach off today. Really tired.15(6) Ran this morning with my favorite running person. 8 miles of snowy trails in 5 degrees F but beautiful blue sky and such nice winter quiet. Now beer at my favorite place. Feeling okay.16No Reasons
17No Reasons18(4) Guy veered toward all of the runners last night to either scare us or something. Was really frustrating. Snow this morning made the commute horrible. Not a good end/start for today. So tired.19(5) Yesterday was very much a nothing day. Didn't sleep well. Back has been hurting lately. Much colder again today. Nothing interesting to say. Want winter to be over.20No Reasons21(3) Just had to replace my furnace and have electrical work done, and now I need a new washer, which stresses me out because I don't have money and I have to do laundry so often due to running...22No Reasons23No Reasons
24(4) Crummy weekend. Stressful having to shop for appliance I can't afford. Stress over not running like I should. Didn't feel well. Ate and drank too much (as always). Anxious. And then Monday. Ugh.25(5) Good run last night. Was nice that the sidewalks were clear and the temps weren't too cold. Looking forward to more light in the evenings soon. Feeling tired and anxious still today though. Sigh.26No Reasons27(5) Got my new washer yesterday. So hard to be an adult and spend tons of money for things that aren't even fun but necessities. Ran last night in mud, but too tired for treadmill this AM.28(3) Struggling. Self-medicating with beer and comfort food far too often. Feeling low and sluggish and tired despite plenty of sleep. Nothing this weekend to look forward to. More dark and cold and wind.29No Reasons
      1No Reasons
2(3) Yesterday was 2-year anniversary of my neighbor and friend taking her life. It really hit me yesterday how much my life hasn't been the same. I think about her often and why she made that choice...3(4) Tired. Struggling to get up and run on the 'mill in the morning. Registration opens next week for the big race I targeted in fall. Don't know if I'll be ready. Much further behind than I should be.4(5) Started watching Dracula on Netflix on the treadmill this morning, and it's stupid and trite and totally sucked me in (no pun intended). Really tired of this virus news. Frightening...5(5) The sun was shining yesterday, and I took a brief (chilly) lunch walk. Got a breath of optimism and energy, which was quite nice. Perhaps it's the slight weather improvement.6No Reasons7No Reasons8No Reasons
9(6) The sun shone bright, and temps were in the mid-50s. I sat on my back stoop with the dog and soaked it all in. Amazing how good it felt to be in air that doesn't hurt your face.10(5) Nice run last night in shorts and a t-shirt for the first time in months! Working at home today so ran again outside (strong wind though). Slept poorly last night. Achy and bad dreams. :(11(5) Drank too much, but the dinner was fun last night! And delicious. Suffering this morning. Got cold again, unfortunately. Feeling the weight of all this virus dread. Blah.12(4) We have our first local case of the virus. Wonder if the St. Pat's race this weekend will be canceled? Things feel very crazy right now. I hate the general state of panic people are in...13(4) Life has changed in the past few days. Scary times. Need to stay away from constant media fear-monging. Looking forward to a long run tomorrow in the woods. But today, stocking up on staples again.14No Reasons15No Reasons
16(4) Working at home. Really hard to get motivation to work. Avoiding media right now. Fear is far more dangerous than the virus. Protect yourself mentally as well as physically.17(4) Yesterday wasn't so bad. Worked at home. It was sunny. Went out and ran and got beer before bars/restaurants closed. Today is dreary, and now I feel lonely. Envious of those with loved ones.18No Reasons19(4) All these people sad that social isolation means they can't be with friends and family. And I'm over here thinking that I've been preparing for this my whole life...20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons
23(5) Well that weekend was quiet. Ran on the treadmill Saturday and trails with a friend Sunday (which is bad now, but oh well). I wish it was spring. Would help me a lot. Back to 'work' today. Be well.24(4) So yesterday felt tough. The dreary weather matched my mood. Was super short, and everything made me want to scream. I ran in the rain alone to keep my running group streak going. Hope today's better.25(4) This song came up randomly and seems fitting. 'I am going to make it through this year if it kills me...' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTBEP-ASQJs26No Reasons27(5) Still not good at being as productive working at home, but dog sure appreciates it! He's laying on the floor beside my desk right now. I'm glad I have him, or the loneliness would be really tough!28No Reasons29No Reasons
30No Reasons31(5) Went for a run yesterday. Mondays are my group runs, but can't do that. Did a virtual happy hour on Zoom. Was really surprisingly fun. Getting pretty lonely, and anxiety impacting my sleep.