5.6 avg
  1451 days
  21915 hugs
     1(5) Had too much to drink last night. Feel dizzy.2(6) Just chilling. Going to exercise and then do family quiz over Zoom
3(5) Got a call with the doctors today. I know the Pill is causing/worsening my depression because I came off it earlier this year to get the coil and I was fine for a bit, until I accidentally pulled it
(6) Been reading to the birds, going to meditate and play animal crossing.
4(6) Exercised, been cleaning. Going to call nan.5(4) Was feeling good earlier.. exercised, spoke to mum. Then Ryan was down and he said it was about how I'd reacted to something the other day (because of my OCD) that had upset him so I've cried and been
(5) Salad for dinner. Watched Umbrella Academy. Going to play some Animal Crossing, meditate then sleep.
6(4) Struggling today, haven't even done my exercise yet
(7) Went to Padley's Gorge with Ryan. I love being in the forest.
7(6) Feeling up to doing some work today8(7) Had fun playing animal crossing with Jake9(6) Was feeling a bit down earlier because of a bad dream, but been relaxing and playing games so feel better
10(5) Feel obligated to go to a friend's house because Ryan wanted to go. It's going to be in the garden and just a few of us but still really worried. Esp because people aren't taking the virus seriously.
(3) I can't do this. Crying at their house. Awkward af.
11(4) Allergies really bad. Eyes red and sore.
(3) I hate rigging with a passion
12(4) Worried about money. Feel bad because I'm not earning anything so all the pressure is on Ryan.
(5) Watching Seven Deadly Sins
13(3) Doctor was unhelpful
(6) Played Bananagrams with Ryan
14(5) Today has been up and down.15(6) Been playing games. Played the rest of the Trials of Mana demo and then some Eqqo. Watching Blue Exorcist movie now.16(6) Quiz with family and then video chatted with mama ?
17(3) Feeling low
(6) Tidied up my hair
18(5) Allergies
(6) Completed the adventure on Ring Fit Adventure, proud of myself for keeping up a daily routine of exercising, it's funny it took a game to do it!
(3) My sister wanted a video for her birthday and watching myself I just feel like I come across as really awkward and always have felt that way about videos of me. I voiced my insecurities to Ryan and he
19(5) Spoke to Ryan about how I was feeling, he said I shouldn't hide behind jokes when I'm feeling that way. Had some cuddles and he reassured me, feel a bit better.20(6) Beautiful morning ? just video chatted my sister because it's her birthday today21(6) Feeling good after exercise, playing Fall Guys with Ryan and then gonna do some work22(7) Had fun playing animal crossing with John23(7) Family quiz and then video chatted with mum, going to play either Eqqo or Animal Crossing for a bit now
24(8) I am radiating positivity
(5) My asshole bird Sif has ruined my night. Thanks.
25(5) I really cba today26(6) So far today I exercised, Skyped mama, had therapy appointment, did my Flow treatment, did some texture painting work and now I'm going to make a salad for dinner ? I am worried about Ryan though27(5) Struggled to wake up and get up this morning28(6) Was down earlier but have since been enjoying playing WoW and Fall Guys with friends29(6) Playing Fall Guys again with friends30(7) Feeling great after exercise
31(6) Had a beautiful dream last night, determined to have a productive day today!
 1(6) Getting lots of work done today ?2(5) Frustrated
(6) Got a good amount of work done ?
3(7) Enjoyed walk with Ryan and John, loved seeing the deer and giving them carrots4(4) Unmotivated, barely done anything today.5(6) Been playing Not Tonight most of the day6(6) As I am starting to get better I can see Ryan getting worse. I wish I could help him. Today has been good apart from these worries.
7(5) Proud of myself for getting up earlier today and for calling the doctors twice today. Trying to do some work but finding myself slightly frustrated with it. Wish the technical stuff was minimal.8(4) Didn't sleep well last night9(7) Great evening with Ryan - Prosecco and Back To The Future ?10(6) Did some work, got Dev Day work to do in an hour. Not looking forward to cervical smear tomorrow.11(2) Self harmed after argument with Ryan12(6) Trying to take it easy today13(7) Today was enjoyable. Video chat with mum, exercise, hoovering, shower, played Animal Crossing, then Earthlock, watched new documentary on Netflix, had dinner and read to birds.
14(6) New dahl recipe I tried was yummy, of course I added more variety of spices to it than what was in the recipe haha15(5) Feeling stressed and frustrating over the rig not working properly. Wondering if I'll ever be good at rigging/skinning/weighting characters.16(4) Fed up with life
(6) Dad just called me to see if I was ok and it was the sweetest thing ever
17(4) Was really struggling this morning to do anything.18(7) Enjoyed spending the day with Ryan, except for slicing my thumb open19(8) Enjoying being with family ?20(8) Really great day. Painting in the garden, nan came over, played animal crossing with Jake and Rob, spending time with family.
21(7) Been painting in the sunshine again, having trouble mixing the colours how I want them but looked up a tutorial so I will go back and fix them tomorrow22(7) Been painting in the garden again23(6) Fixed the rigging problems on one of the characters, had therapy, played some Bananagrams with mum, etc.24(4) Blender can't decide when it wants to work and when it doesn't. Fed up with it. Then mum tells me I have no patience, I'm sorry but when you've tried to do the same thing like 20 times knowing it25(6) Just watched Elona Holmes with family, really enjoyed it.26No Reasons27(6) Relaxing with family today
28(4) Mum seems to be getting annoyed with everything I say today
(6) Finished the painting, was good to be out in the garden again. Wish I had one myself.
29(5) Mum only ever wants to be around me when I'm happy. God forbid I have any other emotion. She claims to want to help me but instead of being understanding she just criticises me and makes me feel worse
(6) Think I've finally made a rig that works how I want it to ?
30(5) Therapy was hard again today. Don't really feel like its helping either.
   1(5) This morning was emotional, Ryan called me because Sif (our bird) flew into the wall and fell and then into the bookcase and fell. He didn't look good for a bit and I was really worried but thankfully2No Reasons3No Reasons4(7) Had fun playing Among Us with sister and friends. Going to play board games with mum as well now.
5(6) Today I played Cluedo and watched the film 'Juliet, Naked' with my mum and sister. Had to be careful with my grammar there.6(6) Last full day with family, I'll miss them.7No Reasons8(7) Fun evening with Ryan9(6) Chilled out day10(6) Enjoyed playing Among Us with friends and sisters today11(6) Struggling to keep up with social interactions at the moment, feels like too much. Had another chilled out day today though.
12(6) Got back on exercise habit after half a week off, managed to do a bit of animation13(3) Struggling with my depression today, can't seem to do anything14(4) Today has been difficult again15No Reasons16No Reasons17(5) Not feeling great. Tired.18No Reasons
19(5) Worried about Pikachu. Still feeling a bit ill. Don't even enjoy animating anymore, fed up with this project because I know it's going to look awful.20(7) Lovely evening with Ryan celebrating 5 years together. Ordered Indian food and got dressed up nice despite not going anywhere.21(6) Tired again but enjoyed chat with mama22(5) Dizzy and tired, wondering when I will be better23(5) Still tired because of whatever this illness is. Got some work done today and yesterday too. Really disappointed with Scorpion s4 ending. Fed up of mould growing in bedroom again.24(5) Fed up of having to tell Ryan to do basic things like pick his dirty clothes off the floor and put them in the washing basket. I'm not his mother.25No Reasons
26(6) Feels good to get back to exercising27(6) Didn't get enough done today, but enjoyed playing Fall Guys in the evening. Ryan got a new job, hopefully he is happy there, I'm so proud of him!28(5) Today was emotional and my eyes are still stinging. I had an argument with Ryan but we've made peace.29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons