3.2 avg
  759 days
  6464 hugs
  102 followers
January
MTWTFSS
 1(7) Happy New Year Pandas???.. Thanks for being there through the good and bad times. Starting green, as we received some good news today. Heres hoping for a nicer year for us all ?2No Reasons3(5) Still feeling drained, trying to rest and work from home.4(6) Bought some flowers for my Mum & Nan online, just a little thanks for helping me through this rough time. They arrived today & look lovely a nice surprise for them. ??5No Reasons6No Reasons
7No Reasons8No Reasons9(2) Two hour journey to hospital by train each way, so hard when not yet weight bearing and having to hop. A lot of pain & blisters from crutches :(10No Reasons11No Reasons12(5) Operation update: Met doctor Wednesday one is healing and doing better than expected?. Unfortunately the other scar is struggling & very sore. ? I don't know how to feel.13(3) 8 weeks post op, from my first operation. Still not feeling well :( Every meal feeling/or being terribly sick. Got sickness tablets, but not much help.
14No Reasons15No Reasons16No Reasons17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons20(4) Why does a good day, always follow by a bad day? Yesterday treated mum & Nan to lunch at restaurant. Today, im 5 weeks post op recovery. In so much pain & allergic reaction to new medicine. ?
21No Reasons22(5) Nice evening out with family to remember my beautiful aunt, still doesn't seem real that she left us so suddenly 3 years ago. You will always be loved & missed ?? xx23(5) Returned to work for the day for meetings, longest day of my life. So nice to see friends & colleagues but absolutely shattered?. I'm so glad I'm working from home tomorrow.24(2) In so much pain... worn out from yesterday. Long day tomorrow at Hospital.25No Reasons26(4) After a long day travelling yesterday to hospital. I'm in agony?. Still the same one healing & one red raw. Back at two hospitals next week.27No Reasons
28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31(3) Fed up of hospital appointments & travelling. 10 and half weeks post op, still not walking?.. struggling with work deadlines so im working my own evenings/weekend. It's lonely working from home. ?
February
MTWTFSS
    1No Reasons2No Reasons3(5) Good weekend with family. ? Cousin who lives 5 hours away came to Nan's & the rest of our families visited today. So nice to see her but so hard to say goodbye.
4(5) Booked the week off work, last few days have drained my energy. I'm planning to sit at home & rest. Leg still really sore and painful with the cold weather. ??5(5) Tired! ? I should have been resting, but went for out this morning & bought lovely gifts for my Nan's birthday. Came home to help my other Nan with online banking. Resting tomorrow legs hurt.?6(3) Didn't really want to see anyone today, overly tired irritable & in pain?. Saw Nan at our house though which was nice? tried to fake smile. Good to have a week off from hospital appointments.7No Reasons8(5) Sickness strikes again. ?9(1) New neighbours have caused so much stress today, trying to extend their house without permission in all directions. It will block our window & driveway. Parents are fuming & thinking of moving ?10(5) It's been another crappy day.. so bad i got bored & started working from home. Me & Brother went out for dinner tonight.. just wanted a break from being at home. I like our sibling time ?.
11(5) Back to the office tomorrow - I've been off so long, I'm not sure I want to go back?. Only second day back since my operations as still not walking. ?12No Reasons13No Reasons14(3) Busy week, new scar has broken down. So disappointed?. Hoping it's just a step back rather than the operations not worked as it was healed a few weeks ago. Give me strength!15No Reasons16(1) Doctors made a good atempt to kill me today?. Changed my medicine on repeat prescription (without mine or hospital's permission) if taken with my morphine would cause a fatal overdose in minutes!17No Reasons
18No Reasons19No Reasons20(5) So exhausted? back & legs hurt. Mum & Dad away on holiday, I miss them. Trying my best to work, cook, tidy house & look after Nan's feels impossible. Just want to sleep forever!21(2) Why does everything have to be so damn hard? I'd give the world just to be happy, even just for the day! :-( hate being stuck in pain with a low mood.22No Reasons23No Reasons24(5) Visited Nan's to check she's ok, cleaned the bathrooms & Kitchen, ironed brothers work clothes. Now bed now such a backache. ?
25(5) Done the washing & turned my brothers t-shirt from white to pink. I don't know whether to laugh or cry??. Felt this constant sickness today. So tired need sleep?26(5) Busy next few days with returning to work??. It will be first time travelling on transport alone since my operations & have the dreaded long journey to hospital tomorrow. Nervous. ??27(2) You know it's bad news, when the consultant says Natalie you will hate me but... you need to be in plaster. If this doesn't work it's going to be more aggressive surgery. ?????28(0) It's really been a draining week. I'm already feeling extremely low from my perfect scar breaking down & the possibility of more aggressive surgery. Now my job hanging in the balance. ??
March
MTWTFSS
    1(0) Got my union involved - may have a case of disability discrimination in the workplace?. In meantime, I'm refusing to work my notice period due the stress caused?
(1) Keep wishing I would have taken them tablets - when my Dr messed up prescription. Together with my morphine it would have been an o/d. What's the point of living if you're so unhappy! ???
2No Reasons3(0) Requested urgent meeting with my boss to discuss work. I'd give her one final chance to apologise. Meanwhile seeking advice from the union as to next stage. Stess had led to not eating/sleeping.???
4(1) Emailed my friends this morning, letting them know I'm leaving before the company does. They are really sad too.? a lot of them want to meet outside work when im better. Planning leaving drinks ???5(2) Started applying for a new job, ? less money but if it's means a chance to be happier it's worth it.. work meetings tomorrow & hospital. I honestly don't know how to get through this month. ????6No Reasons7No Reasons8(5) Good meeting with union yesterday ?.. they are making enquiries as to whether they followed correct processes to dismiss me. ? working hard on a new job application.9(6) Submitted application last night, been emailed online tests as application has reached next stage???10(2) Terrible chest pain ? so 2AM, I'm awake thinking of getting up and trying to work through my never ending to do list. Give me a break!
11(2) She's broken, stressed, tired, depressed, sad, weary but if you ask how she is doing? She will still say fine ? #Superwoman?12(6) When you pass the application stage, online tests and now have been invited to an interview for something you have always been interested in ????? #13No Reasons14No Reasons15No Reasons16(2) Today has been a really down day, I hate living with a disability.. still got a really bad cold so feel even more rubbish. ?17(5) Hurry up Friday - thanks to holiday entitlements, i will be leaving the company that terminated my contract after I returned from my surgery?. Continuing working with my other team for 6 months.
18No Reasons19(5) Anyone else have problems with the app on android phone? Mine keeps crashing following a phone software update
(2) Work overload, done so much for my manager who was on leave. Not even a thank you ??. Its just rude and lack of respect. I'm glad I'm leaving her team/company Thursday. ?
20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons
25(3) Why has it always got to be one problem after the next? Work, health.. my week off is full of appointments ?26(2) So its going to be a long few days in hospitals with breathing problems/bad chest pain.. really need a break but the battle continues.27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons
April
MTWTFSS
1No Reasons2No Reasons3No Reasons4(7) Big interview/assessment day yesterday (1400 applicants, only 24 of us made it to the final interview) awaiting outcome??. Today my boss found out & trying to get me a permanent employee...5No Reasons6No Reasons7(5) Now been ill for 10 weeks with chest pain and shortness of breath, been called back tomorrow for results. ??
8(6) Getting ready for my birthday meal ???9No Reasons10No Reasons11No Reasons12(3) Started with my new teams at work, followed by two big journeys to Hospital. I'm absolutely shattered & sore! Another month in plaster cast too. ?13No Reasons14(5) Shopping today, bought little gifts for my cousins & their little babies, a cake for my uncles birthday & a really nice handbag that my mum liked so I gave it to her. Got myself Jean's and jumper! ?
15(1) When you automatically say 'I'm fine' because you know noone will understand. Pain wins again. ??16(2) I'm so ready to tell them to shove their job up their arse! I mean yes its important to be employed but if your already hating life & this is making life living hell. ??17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons20No Reasons21No Reasons
22(2) Not the best bank holiday, full of pain. ? Given myself an extra day off work.23(2) Work so hard for my days off to be back in Hospital. Last week, they tell me to take more painkillers & since not been able to eat through constant sickness. ?24(2) Still feeling sick. Got new anti sickness meds. Big arguments at work today. I raise concerns and they force me to work with FOUR managers! How is this fair I can't do it! ?25No Reasons26(1) More work problems ? I'm expected to help out at meetings for the partner company, who ended the contract & recruited someone else. Explained no & my reasons. Told your opinions may change?27No Reasons28(5) Today marks six months since my operations. Since November I have relied on crutches to move/walk any distance and still pained. In two weeks, I'm due to be out of cast.. excited but scared.
(1) Every painful day, every sleepiness night & medication dose. I always wish I was strong enough to free myself of this life. Tonight's hurtful comment made by family..
29No Reasons30No Reasons
May
MTWTFSS
  1(5) You know your workplace is bad, when you get the trade unions carrying out survey. Following a large number of staff complaining about discrimination/harassment & bullying! ?2No Reasons3No Reasons4(5) Exhausted, so stressed with work?. Day off and just feel down in dumps. Applying for new job.5(3) Day started well visiting Nan, before extreme pain kicked in?. Trying to slowly reduce medication due to ongoing side effects. ?Plasters off next week anxious as not walked in six months.
6No Reasons7No Reasons8No Reasons9(1) Horrible few days, hosp and talk yesterday they tried 5 times & couldn't get cast off due to swelling. Finally off but in absolute agony. Came home & tried to make my work hours. ?10No Reasons11(3) Mouth is sore, since breaking front tooth yesterday?. Got fixed for £70 but still to painful to eat12No Reasons
13No Reasons14(5) Got myself an interview! ??15No Reasons16No Reasons17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons
20(1) Feeling super sad lately, 10 days & it will be the 15th anniversary of my traumatic surgery which has caused a lifetime of pain & further operations. No matter how hatd I try, it still upsets me. ??21(7) Great start to the week?, Interview yesterday offered & accepted new job today?? .22No Reasons23(1) Really struggling with pain, feels impossible to control.. breaking down in tears each night from trying to pretend to be 'ok' what a life! ?24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons
27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons