4 avg
  87 days
  437 hugs
  13 followers
January
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter2To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter3To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter4To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter5To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter6To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
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21(2) Trying to catch a positive vibe. Good thing that happened today was ...
(2) I think I need to stop hating everyone around me for not feeling as awful as I do. Truth is I'm jealous of their ability to cope.
(2) Mood swings bad today. Feeling quite paranoid. Convinced no one likes or cares about me. I know that's not necessarily true but there have been moments today where I've convinced myself.
22(4) Bit better today.23(3) Interestingly I had sugar last night and feel slightly more anxious today.24(2) The thought of struggling through another day seems almost impossible25To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter26To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter27To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
28(2) Just when I think I might have turned a corner something happens to smash my fragile peace of mind29(1) The nightmares have returned. For the first time I dreamt of harming myself30To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter31To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
February
MTWTFSS
    1To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter2To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter3To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
4To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter5To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter6(3) Came across a new term on Twitter - 'rage-ate'. It totally sums up what I've beeen doing to myself for the past month. My comfort eating has escalated to the point of feeling like self harm.7(4) Feeling a little better8(4) A strange mixture of feeling a little emotionally stronger but physically being very poorly. Overall I'd rather be physically unwell because it's better understood9To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter10To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
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18(5) Been off work sick for a week. Getting ready for first day back. Feeling remarkably calm. I've 'allowed' myself to retreat to rest my body so why is that harder when it's my mind that's ill.19To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter20To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter21(1) Just woke up from an anxiety dream that I lost my job. Feel sick and shakey.
(6) Strange that after such a horrible start my day has been pretty good.
22To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter23To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter24To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
25To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter26(3) I wonder what would happen if today I pretended to myself I was meeting all my work colleagues for the first time. Wipe out their history.
(2) I'm sat in my car eating my lunch and crying again. I hate my surroundings at work.
27(1) The irony has just struck me that I am as trapped and caged in my job as the animals are in the zoo.
(3) Amusing myself writing stories in my head where I turn all the people around me into animals
(6) Home. Got some good stuff done today. Took myself off to work in a different office. It made a HUGE difference to my well being.
28(5) Started my day off with a little mindfulness meditation session. Feeling quite calm.
(6) Very surprising to be feeling this good. Today is the anniversary of losing my mum. 12 years since she died. Miss her but it's not as raw. You can get used to even the worst pain.
March
MTWTFSS
    1(2) My elderly dog is not doing so well. Very worried about her
(2) End of the week so relived for some respite from work.
2(1) Said goodbye to my beloved dog this morning. She died peacefully in my arms. 16 years old she was tired and needed to rest ?3(2) Numb and empty
(2) Sticking to my OH like a limpet. Feel weak
(3) Had a little food and a nap. Feeling a little better.
(2) Feeling flat and depressed
4(1) I always seem to feel worse in the mornings
(3) Got through the day and felt better about things as the day went on. Mood slipping down again now though. Maybe linked to tiredness?
5To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter6(2) A friend took me out last night to cheer me up. Felt okay. Low again this morning though.7To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter8To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter9To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter10To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
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25To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter26To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter27(2) Started 10mg citalopram yesterday Starting the day feeling very low again but not as bad as yesterday. Been awake since early hours. Unwell too. Bad chest. Shaky. Anxious.
(2) Having an anxious wobbly episode. This puppy we got is exhausting me and I keep having automatic negative thoughts that this has been a huge mistake.
(4) Mood lifting. Chatted to a couple of friends on the phone this morning.
(2) Just woken from a much needed nap but feeling anxious again.
(3) Doctor warned me that meds could make anxiety slightly worse for the first week. I'm hoping that explains why I've not had my more usual upswing as the day went on.
28(3) More sleep so not quite as anxious this morning
(3) Definite lift in mood over the course of the morning. Sat outside in the sunshine for a little while watching the puppy play
(2) Dog tired
(5) Visit and some little gifts from a friend this evening.
29(2) Bad nights sleep. Feel awful30To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter31(4) Feeling a little better
April
MTWTFSS
1(1) Morning anxiety
(3) Adjusting to new prescription of Citalopram. Anxious, shaky and dry mouth. Feel horrible but hope it will be worth it if I can stick out these first few weeks.
2To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter3(3) So tired all the time. Keep having naps.4To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter5To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter6To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter7To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
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May
MTWTFSS
  1To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter2To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter3To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter4To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter5To view data older than 6 months, become a Silver Supporter
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