January
MTWTFSS
    1(4) Time of month started yesterday, sleep schedule messed up. Tired, foggy, sad but functioning. I should just keep my mouth shut, feel like everything i say is stupid and pisses people off. Was just2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
4(5) Meh its Monday. Not doing bad just tired and a bit irritated. Dogs been having troubles, vomiting a lot. New food to prevent her bladder stones isnt working out for her. I'm frustrated at her owner5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(5) Love the dude but Im frustrated with brother in laws actions and attitude, everyone babies him and he's 36. It's one thing to help, it's another thing to enable him and his $hitty behavior9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14(6) Hoping for the day off tomorrow, probably won't happen though. Doing pretty good. Figuring out dinner and watching BF play video games15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(3) Wtf i woke up fine but then I was having interactions with people and i just couldn't seem to communicate properly my thoughts are all jumbled and I just feel stupid and worthless. depressed now and i17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22(6) Since my last update my moods have been pretty good actually. Can feel hormone changes and I get easily irritated but depression is mostly mild. Get to see family this weekend which is gonna be nice.23(5) Had a dimwit in traffic today threaten to shoot me after he aggressively whipped around us in traffic. I could tell he was just talkin smack so I kindly told him 'F yourself in the face with a cactus'24(4) Stressed and anxious about some family stuff
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(6) Pulled muscles in my neck, was hard to sleep because it was very painful, could not get comfortable at all. Biofeeze is a lifesaver though! Tired but pretty mellow, big snowflakes falling And it's so27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
February
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(6) Really tired from not sleeping well. I bought myself a Nintendo Switch and Animal Crossing. I'm finding it to be very theraputic, I love it!10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
March
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
29(4) Communication at work is unclear when it comes to my performance and certain policies, it frustrating. It needs to be over already. Very tired, barely slept. I feel sad and rejected even though I unde30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
April
MTWTFSS
   1(5) My job has grown stagnant. It's a decent job but im honestly sick of it. Not sure what else I'd do. Would have to look carefully for another. I haven't worked out in public for over a year. Customer2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(5) I get that BF doesnt feel good today but he's being a grumpy A- hole and im trying to not take things personally but if I even really talk or try to offer any help he just gives a sarcastic answers4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(5) Moods been up and down today, feeling a bit better this moment tho. People have told me i should be flattered when hostess at a restaraunt asks me if I want a kids menu, but it's actually humiliating11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(5) Last night was good spending time BF's grandparents who are visiting from out of state. I've got to find a way to get better sleep, Im very fatigued. Our Poor dog is sick with stomach issues and she
(4) Took off work early today and slept. Im honestly having a really hard time right now emotionally and the depression is becoming too much. It's so hard to open up about it cuz articulating my feelings
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(4) STRESSED OUT ? trying to figure out how to handle a crazy situation and the worst part is I had to tell my brother about it first before we can address it with everyone so now with the information i17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18(2) Honestly im tired of existing. I wont do anything, but sometimes i just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so low, my thoughts are racing, things are too much. I don't feel like myself and
19(5) Time of month started a week early, I think the immense stress I was under messed with my hormones. More cramps and physical symptoms than usual but at least emotionally I feel okay. Things have20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21(6) Blood tests on dog came back fine which is a relief. She likely will need a couple tooth extractions and other teeth cleaned. Trying to figure out options and cost. It's probably gonna come down to22(4) Pharmacy had unexpected shortage of my mood stabilizer so I ended up going 3 days without cuz I didn't time things right. Back on them today but im feeling pretty depressed and foggy right now
(3) Im sick of feeling disassociated, sad and fatigued so much lately. I just want to feel genuine joy again and feel present in life's moments. It feels like it's just passing me by and im floating above
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(5) This is day 2 of decreasing my dose of mood stabilizer. Angry/sad Mood swings off and on. Will have to find another way to work thru them cuz i can't stand the way that med makes me feel anymore!25(5) Day 3 of decreased medication dose. Feelin the Sunday blues, the weekend flew by so fast! Feeling meh. Mood swings are more frequent and seem to shift a little more quickly. Feelin a little less
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27(5) Day 5 on decreased med dosage. Felt pretty good yesterday. Today I'm feeling a bit anxious and sad. Lots to do around the house but lacking energy28(6) Day off, got to sleep in and got a couple things done around the house. Not feeling as foggy and mentally disconnected. Finding it easier to be present in the moment and think a bit more clearly.29(6) Day 7 on decreased med dosage, feeling sleepy and pretty mellow. Off work early. Time for kitty cuddles and naps ?? Embracing this lovely moment of peace and quiet30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
May
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2(5) Day 10 decreased med dosage. Feeling okay, some mood swings. Finding I'm more prone to agitation and anger than before, but still happy to be feeling more present and alert
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(4) Today was pretty good up until the evening. Something triggered a Major mood swing in me and i haven't been able to stabalize myself from it yet. Feeling negative, grouchy and sad. Also, I really hate7(4) Im not dealing well with frustration and irritability past couple of days. I go from calm and happy to angry and wanting to cry at the slightest thing I hate it!8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(4) Time of month started. Feeling hella moody and volitile all day. Really hoping I feel better emotionally tomorrow20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(10) First time in a long time I've been genuinely happy. BF and I took time off work to spend together this whole week and it has been fantastic. Went to the shooting range with him, my mom and brother, had steaks afterwards. Today is my Birthday, and I feel so incredibly blessed for my life and the people in it.29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
June
MTWTFSS
 1(6) Stayed up too late, pretty tired. Vacation is over, time to start working again. Going to try and get some things done around the house after.2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(5) So Understimulated at my job, it's pretty easy but so very redundant and stagnant! I really hate it sometimes. It's making the day drag, im getting irritated. Feel like a bored animal stuck in a cage
(5) I've felt very off today emotionally/mentally. Gonna shower and go to bed early, hoping to wake up feeling rested and better tomorrow. Excited about getting some work added to my tattoo tomorrow!
4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(4) Busy weekend. Didnt enjoy being blindsided by big yard projects that we didn't know we'd be doing until last minute when BF's mom ( who is also our landlord) decided we needed to tackle a bunch of things all at once. Im fine with doing things, just give me a heads up. Lots of arguing among family while working on stuff and tension was high!
7(4) Feeling pretty down today. Im hoping the work day doesn't drag. Trying to get a sleep schedule established for mornings, I find it hard to stick to being that I'm a night owl and always have been. Going to bed earlier, not sleeping too late on days off, and by far hardest for me is not taking a nap after work. Notice my mental state slowly improves tho if I can just stick with it8(7) Had a lovely day spending time with mom and brother. I've got some worries about brother's safety and security in his neighborhood because theres lots of gang activity/violence near his place. It's ridiculous!9(6) Very burnt out at work and Im worried it's affecting my performance. Been waiting for repurcussions of some sort but communication with manager and supervisor have been vague about such things. Gotta find a way to refresh myself, I feel stuck! ?10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12(5) Since Wednesday I've Been working on reframing my mindset about my job and picking up more hours so i can actually afford things. Counting my blessings, trying to practice being more mindful and having gratitude. Going to a friends party tonight and im kinda anxious cuz there's gonna be a lot of people there I don't know. BF will be on me about drinking cuz he worries about alcoholic tendencies13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
14(6) Stomach upset but otherwise Feeling decent. Learning to deal better with the monotony of work and just get through it without as much frustration as before. Saturday's party was great, we met some awesome people and had wonderful conversations.15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(5) Knowing I need to make some lifestyle changes but feeling stubborn about it. Working more hours, will have more money, I'm just tired. Need better sleep. Hormones kicking my butt17(4) On the verge of not feeling okay. Unpleasant, serious conversation earlier about the way things were handled regarding some past family issues. It's been a long day, working a lot more hours. Time for bed, I'm mentally burnt out18(4) Time of month started today. Crying for first 2 hours of work because I kept messing things up and my brain is just not working well. I am drained and feel SO tired. Haven't slept well all week. Cramps, bloating, fatigue. Feel like Theres so much to do and I just can't right now19(5) I feel decently better today but i got anxiety about work. Didn't realize my supervisor was trying to get in touch with me yesterday until I saw email about it later today and now it's eating me as to why. Won't know until Tuesday and it's bothering the hell out of me. What did i mess up i wonder?20(5) Feeling kinda flat and neutral. Work is slow which is kinda nice. Feeling a sense of impending doom about some things
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22(5) Stayed up super late watching scary movies with BF, it was fun! Brain feels weird today, I feel strange and out of character. Unusual thoughts. Pretty Sleep deprived and foggy, memory is bad. Can't wait to take a nap after work! Hopefully can recharge a little23(4) Im feeling some pressure about a situation that I'm not comfortable with but feel like I don't have a choice in because im just going to be judged negatively if i dont comply. In general I do not feel positive about much right now, im not in a great mindset. Depressed.24(4) Not sure how to pull myself out of this negative headspace today. I am feeling out of sorts and its almost like I feel guilty for just simply existing. My whole life I was always the kid falling behind, not understanding things easily like the other children, always stressed and anxious, scared of my own shadow, easily prone to cry, finding it hard to speak to anyone. As an adult i've improved on25(4) Feels like I'm barely keeping my head above dark water today. I woke up Feeling okayish but I feel myself sinking back into the darkness. I have a communication barrier, a seeming incapability to verbalize the sadness/anxiety/anger im feeling inside. I need to get it out but I'm having so much trouble.
(2) I have never felt quite like this before, completely alone in my head, negative thoughts tail-spinning wildly out of control. Panic, frantic, scary thoughts the likes of which I've never had before. It's hard to ask for help. It's hard because I don't want my family and other people that care about me to worry. even though they'd say im not a burden, I would still feel like one. Sometimes the only
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27(6) I made it through the storms of my mind. It was scary at times, but yesterday and today have been much better. I felt so drained and i slept a lot yesterday. Poor quality of sleep is not to be taken lightly, it can REALLY mess with my emotions. Today im actually going to get some things done
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30(4) STRESSSSSSSSED. Trying to keep my bearings.
July
MTWTFSS
   1(3) Fell hard Back into depression and anger.. I feel like I'm being punched in the heart, I just want to scream and cry. Past couple of days felt like things were coming together and I was feeling positive but it all just went to sh!t earlier today. In-law family drama and I doubt it's gonna stop. I'm having so much trouble stabilizing my emotions and centering myself. I need to start going to
(2) Journaling my thoughts and feelings. Really not in a good place in my head today. I just want things to be okay but i feel hopeless.
2(6) Opened up to BF about some of my mental health issues and strengthened our bond. Had some very much needed intimate time with him. So very blessed to have him by my side. Going back to my increased medication dosage and spreading the times out more when taking them to minimize side effects. The unpredictable extreme lows on decreased dose are not worth the risk to my life. Feeling better today3(6) Feeling pretty good right now. Lazy day watching tv with BF.4(5) Feeling cranky! Im all for a little bit of fun but stupid people firing off illegal mortars really close to my house (it shakes the damn house!) at 2am lastnight really pisses me off when I have to work the next morning. Dog was panicking all night no matter what we did. Gonna get her a thunder jacket today and see if that helps her.
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(5) Feeling okay just tired as hell. Desperate for sleep right now10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(5) BF's grandparents are in town, been spending a lot of time with them and are going fishing tomorrow which will be fun. I really wish my PMS wasn't starting now, it's making me so irritable and quick to sadness/anger. Feel like crying off and on. Tomorrow should be good though. Hoping getting out of town for the day will make me feel better.
(4) I feel anxious, depressed, overwhelmed and overstimulated. Trying not to be snappy with people but I'm having a hard time with these mood swings.
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(6) Time if month started yesterday. Cramps, bloating, fatigue aren't fun but I'm feeling pretty decent emotionally today so far. Have spent every day with BF's family for the past week which has been pretty nice but im looking forward to having some down time when his grandparents go back to Arkansas. It's been draining especially being around BF's brother so much17No Reasons18No Reasons
19No Reasons20(7) Never thought I'd do it but today marks Day 6 cigarette free. Feeling pretty great about doing something to improve my health! Off work early, decided to climb back in bed and am enjoying some rest. My moms coming over to hang out later, looking forward to it ?21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons
26No Reasons27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31(7) Relaxing on the couch watching tv. It's a lovely, uneventful weekend. It's raining and thundering ?17 days smoke free and going strong! Stomach has been sluggish since i quit, been trying to be more mindful of what I'm eating to get things moving
August
MTWTFSS
      1No Reasons
2(5) Had to deal with something disgustingly uncomfortable and inappropriate at work today. Absolutely not okay with it And it's repeatedly looping through my head. Ordered some pizza, ate my feelings and now im snuggling my kitty. Im done with today!!3(5) Feeling irritable and tired. Down time between shifts, perfect time for a nap!4(7) Buzzed off my hair again and it feels so liberating!5No Reasons6No Reasons7(5) Im okay but also a bit down and anxious. I dont feel quite right. Planning to get things done around the house while BF is at work tonight, feel a bit overwhelmed though8No Reasons
9No Reasons10(4) Hormones ugh! Time of month started today which explains why i was so tired and irritable yesterday. It's not a bad day, I'm just moody, easily prone to anger and sadness for the tiniest reasons.11(4) As the day progresses I am feeling more down. Periodically feel like crying. Hormones seem to be winning today so far. Tired, cranky, sad12No Reasons13(5) Was anxious about doing first ever work team meeting call over the computer because I am socially awkward but it actually made me feel better and less isolated from the world. Pleasantly surprised. Hoping i can keep these depressive mood swings in check and be productive today. Hormones have been my enemy past few days14No Reasons15No Reasons
16(5) Feeling super grumpy and apathetic this morning. I hate Monday mornings. I dont give a crap about doing my best at anything today. Not enough sleep, intrusive depressing thoughts lastnight keeping me awake. Everything is pissing me off17No Reasons18(7) Feeling pretty mellow, not as tired. Will be a short work day today. Plan to get a couple things done around the house and binge watch my favorite anime ?19(5) Foggy brained and feeling blah. Feeling a bit depressed. Climbing back in bed for a nap. Maybe it'll help... I don't know20No Reasons21No Reasons22(4) Even though i find it way more comfortable having my hair buzzed off, I find myself feeling less attractive. BF tells me if I like it then that's all that matters and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. He's supportive of it but i can't help but wonder if he finds me less attractive now but doesnt say anything. It's also possible my perception of it is incorrect. Having a lot of self doubt
23(6) I woke up so exhausted and fatigued this morning, sleep quality has been terrible lately. Cognition was terrible, mood was so low. I said screw it and Called off sick from work. Went back to bed and slept until 2:30pm. Feeling better emotionally and feel like I'll still be able to go to bed tonight too.24(4) So many intelligent conversations with BF about science and the mechanics of how things work. He takes so much time to explain these things to me and I feel i have so little to offer in return. I wish I were smarter, more put together. Hes truly amazing and I honestly feel sometimes like i dont deserve him. I have always felt like a useless human just taking up space In this world25No Reasons26No Reasons27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons
30No Reasons31No Reasons
October
MTWTFSS
    1No Reasons2(4) I hate my sensitivity to hormone changes, PMDD and bipolar together are emotional hell. I actually had a pretty decent night, it was all going fine until a couple hours ago. All it took was a slightly raised tone of voice to trigger me. Fight or flight tried to kick in, then I felt intense sadness and anxiety wash over me all in an instant. I keep feeling like im gonna cry.3No Reasons
4No Reasons5No Reasons6No Reasons7No Reasons8No Reasons9(7) My brother got married today. It was a lovely ceremony And reception. So happy he found a wonderful woman to spend his life with, feel blessed to have to and her daughter officially part of our family ?10No Reasons
11(4) Today was long, work was exhausting and frustrating. Extra glad my work day is over with..12(5) Feeling irritable, aggressive and cranky. Feeling unusually burnt out and intolerant at work today. Took a nap between shifts which temporarily helped for a bit. Had a couple outbursts while I was home by myself, feeling uncomfortable in my skin and emotionally just crappy mood13(6) Have the day off today. Feel so relieved to climb back in bed and rest. The morning weather is crisp and chilly, completely overcast. Maybe I'll get some things done later or maybe I will just rest all day, we shall see.
(6) Have the day off today. Feel so relieved to climb back in bed and rest. The morning weather is crisp and chilly, completely overcast. Maybe I'll get some things done later or maybe I will just rest all day, we shall see.
14No Reasons15No Reasons16No Reasons17No Reasons
18No Reasons19No Reasons20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons
25No Reasons26No Reasons27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons