3.9 avg
  361 days
  1982 hugs
  33 followers
January
MTWTFSS
 1(4) about H, It has to come from within me, I'm working on it to be decisive. About loving more myself. I told him I don't meet but you have to release me. it's hard for me alone, the fears are stronger2(1) I stopped exercising for two days. Feeling bad about it. H continues to call I can't stand it, it's too much for me, I can't stop the connection. Because he is obsessed with personal problems.3(5) I had a vision that there was a bridge that I had to cross in order to move on. but instead of crossing it, I build it, although it has been wide and stable, and I can pass it easily. I keep build it4(5) I thank to my pains, because of them I learned to love myself, to take care of myself, to eat healthy, to sleep well, to breathe! Today I'm the most healthy I've ever been.
(2)
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(5) I did blood tests, I don't lack a vitamin and everything is normal. But the pain only gets stronger. It's just a pain that is all day and does not give me rest.
(5) He wrote to me, we chat, about work and things, and then out of things I realized that he think I'll marry him, and I realized that I'm in trouble I sometimes just prefer not to think about it than to
7(5) I didn't meet with H for about two years
(4) I feel alone. I feel that I will never achieve my goals, because of the pain and the time that passes, there is no way. I am alone in pain, feeling that there is no chance
(3) Every time H makes contact with me I am less happy, I don't understand why he sees that I don't meet and continues to waste my time, only a bad person can do such a thing because he sees that it is
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(4) H presses to meet. but I say no. I don't want to see him, he puts stress and tension into my life, someone I don't trust. I don't want to, but I'm afraid I'll meet him by accident or by persuasion or10(1) I hate my job. And I'm in pain. And until I thought I found a cure I could not apply because I needed time and I don't have time because I have work. I want to resign. And from despair I wrote to H
(5) Thank you God, I love you, sorry.
11(4) Now I have fears that H will leave and I will be left alone, or I will recover from the pain and I will not be able to return to being me and I will be healthy but alone,12(5) I have strong pains. I don't know if I should call in the morning to work and say I'm not coming this week, because I know I have committed myself and must go.13(5) In the end, we decided that I would not come to work at the beginning of the week and see if I could arrive later in the week. and I don't know whether to go to the doctor tomorrow because
14(5) I moved away from friends because I was in pain, I couldn't meet them. I could hardly speak. They didn't understand. It was hard for them. And now I think what will happen if I no longer have pain?15(5) I went to the doctor and he was so nice to me. and gave me a medicine, and now there is only one problem. I have to go back to work, and they call me under the pressure to come and I have
(3) H couldn't talk, so I asked him with who he was, so he got mad and began to write threatening messages as if he had not promised me promises all these years as if I were nothing to him. I just want
(5) I pray for a sign from God that I can safely leave that I will not be alone. I also pray for courage, strength, brave, self-confidence, and do the right thing. and stay safe from H
(5) Thank you God for everything, thank you.
(5) H says he's so sorry he didn't answer. What does he think I'm stupid, that a person can't answer an entire day he is with another woman and not at work!!!!!! I didn't tell him that. Because
16(5) I'm full of adrenalin, But what will I do with it? start offering all the people I told them 'no' to meet?
(5) I don't want H in my life. I'm afraid he'll haunt me forever. When he gets angry, a monster comes out of him. I hope I get out of it. I do not know how to stop it,
17(5) I feel good today. Only H, can make me feel bad now if he will be bad to me. I don't know how to deal with feeling good for several days in a row. I'm 6 but because of my fears I'm 5
(5) I don't want to be happy and then be disappointed but I think the medicine the doctor gave me works. I want to go out, live, sing, and the pain is less strong but I'm full of fears
(5) I worked today, a whole day, and still have the strength as if I did not work at all, I am so afraid, suddenly that the body no longer hurts There are so many energies to live
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(4) I think of H, I can't think he'll be with another woman. although he deliberately tries to make me jealous, it can be real, I'm afraid I'll feel good without pain and suddenly I want to be with
(3) I'm afraid of the side effects of the medicine that helps me against the pain. It makes me a headaches, tired and lack of appetite
20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(1) I don't want to go to this work anymore, until I get well, one day at work destroys all the hard work. I worked two weeks. Hate it, I'm really disappointed
(4) I feel better. Thank you God for making me feel better.
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(5) I move from an extreme from missing him. To the extreme of, to think how I get him out of my life. my good thoughts please stay, those who remind me that he was bad to me, once bad, always27(5) I'm so tired. I stopped with the medicine but, will the side effects last forever? Until I began to feel good. There seems to be a mechanism within me that, once feeling good, must somehow destroy it
(5) There is a power within us that is not affected by anything external good or bad, it is calm, it is above good and bad.
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(5) Yesterday, on my way home, I saw clothes I wanted and stopped to buy, and that made me feel happy, because it felt right. and I'm glad I have a job that I can make myself happy and buy whatever I want
(5) I know(feel) H isn't my one. I wish I were smarter than the beginning, to say that it's just friends and nothing more. like all the rest of the women, he helped them, who remained only his friends
30(5) I had a scary dream. Where I must go to therapy, to remove restrictive beliefs, to find my one. and without it, I will not succeed alone. and it was so scary because I believe I can do it alone31(4) I don't like H. He hurt me and then claims that he loves me. I want to block him and forget him forever. but I'll start from the inside. untill I'll get stronger
(5) I had a good day. I found things I was looking for for a long time, I had a chance to give and realized it, and only H wasn't nice and that's good, because I plan to cut him out in conversation
February
MTWTFSS
    1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2(1) It's going to be a long day, that doesn't pass, bad, depressing, what more can you ask for, I hope this day will pass quickly3(2) I didn't sleep well at night, and it would ruin my day. and after yesterday's tension I'm exhausted. but I hope it's over and today will be better. I hope it will not happen today too,as yesterday.
(3) today was better and I am grateful, I need more faith in God, that no matter what, I'll be all right, more believe in myself. hope to be able to get them. I want to be myself and to accept myself
(4) I know how it feels to have a good friend, that you feel good beside him, that you want to see him happy and successful because it does not threaten you, that you are not jealous of him because
4(4) I don't know why two weeks ago I felt so energetic for a few days, and now so low. There seems to be more work to do5(2) All I wanted was faith in God. but God apparently didn't want me, because now I don't have him and I have nothing. but I thank to what I have and hope that if I work harder I will succeed.6(4) I slept so deep and good as I did not sleep in life but not for the good reasons. I hope it will not take revenge on me the next night because tomorrow is a busy day, I will try to enjoy it7(2) I don't want to go to work but I have to, in the cold in the rain. and I got the flu. Every time someone next to me gets the the flu I get infected.
(5) I'm strong and I'm not naive. Although H thinks I'm naive and can be exploited, but I'll get out of it.Yes, I need practical help to get out of it but until that happens, I keep myself away from him
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(2) Everything looks fine, but I'm in a bad mood.
11(3) I can't sleep, H tried to make me jealous and succeed, and I can't block him, it's also the time of the month that I have to be strong now until it passes. And not response12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(4) H hung up and said he was busy. It's because he is with another woman, in any case he is allowed to, because I have not met him for almost two years. But I do feel obligated. And he does lie to me14(2) I have not been able to sleep in recent days.
(2) I feel alone. I am alone, now that I need someone there is no one.
(2) I wish something (good) happens in my life. I've been in a static state for so many years. I wish there would be a radical change for the better. And that my person would just knock on my door.
15(2) I feel alone. All the hard work I do and no results. Maybe just a slight improvement. So why at all. What's all this for?16(4) H was angry at me for not sharing with him that I I didn't have enough money from work, and it frightened me. Then he asked me to take a vacation with him so that I could recover,17(2) Since the pressure H put on me I'm not calm, I can't sleep at night, I can not with this pressure, people who put pressure on me and try to control me I can't live with it. I want to get out of that
(2) I feel low
18(3) I'm not where I wanted to be. I gave everything. I was left alone and now it's hard to start from the beginning. I know that if there is no change this month I will not be able to continue this19(2) My throat in pain. I feel stressed, H also makes me stress, and I worry that this feeling has been so long, and the medicine I have taken is over and there is no prescription from the doctor20(1) This day passes slow, does not move
(2) I wish I could turn back the time
(4) I used to do things that I can not do without, exercise, eat healthy, sleep, and once it made me happy that I managed to get through a day with exercise today, It is necessary.
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22(4) I had the most amazing dream in the world(10), but I still wake up to reality, so just 4 for now
(6) I slept well at night, today I do about nothing, still need more money even though I had an income this week. But with such a dream I don't care what happens, I have an angel who protects me
(6) I feel ok, my dream was so good that it affected me and suddenly I am less afraid. I really hope that tomorrow will be fine at all levels?
23(2) Feeling bad, as if there's nowhere to run, everything is closing in on me24(4) I feel better, even though I didn't sleep at night, I managed not to write to H, if I had my medication it was perfect but I don't have the strength to go to the doctor and ask for a
25(6) I feel ok today. Today I took some pictures, this month I didnt work a lot and I grateful that I did not have to go out in the rain, but I do need income very much
(1) I feel alone. H, is the only one left and didn't give up. I don't know what I'll do if he goes with another woman. I can't stand it. Where would I meet someone who would make me
26(4) I feel that I miss him and that I can't live without him, tomorrow morning I'll probably feel differently, I'll update,27(3) Strangely enough, the feelings did not pass today. Apparently I have a fear to love so as not to get hurt and whoever does not give me all the confidence I will not let the emotion take over
(3) I made a mistake at the beginning of the relationship I met him even though my intuition told me not
(4) Now, I don't feel want him anymore, and I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it. And I can't, because I'm afraid of his reaction, I knew my feeling would change, and it probably depends on
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
March
MTWTFSS
    1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
4(4) I don't have any unhealthy food in the house, there's only healthy food, I can't take this detox anymore. Trying to quit caffeine as well. I need junk food, and chocolates. It affects me.5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(5) If you don't get something you want it is just that something better than the one waiting for you forward, keep looking. And you'll get more than you imagined.
(5) I want to organize and keep only things that make me joy, That's the only thing that gives me a passion right now, which I want to do.
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(4) Didn't sleep well
11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12(4)
(5) Only when you get out of the low (bad habits, addictions, toxic relationships and so'), you realize how low you were.
13(2) 14(1) 15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(3) I slept okay, I cried all morning. I'll try to call the job I left, I don't know if they'll take me back because I've had many sick days. But I need money,
(2) I don't have anyone close to me who I know will never hurt me. I'm in the worst mood I've been in years. I can not find any strength. I need a income and secure
(4) I want to be me again, to smile, to be a big sister, an admirer, a smart that everyone wants to be around, friendly. To smile as before. I wish an angel enter my life that would make smile again
17(5) I can't change the situation right now, wherever I go I'll feel worse, so I just wait until I have a desire to do something
18(6) I feel better, but I ate something that made me feel bad, but in general I try to be as positive as possible.19(4) Without exercise today, without healthy food, I want to go on vacation somewhere far away. I'm going to spend money and hope it will come back to me, more important that I feel better. Good luck to me
(3) I went shopping, still feeling bad, I'm out of face cream and all my face with redness, H calls every day on the other hand when I'm feeling bad he's suddenly busy, and he gives me no
(2) I've been stuck for ten years and if there will be no change there will be no point.
20(4) Life leads us to old age, from here we will go and become only older and older21(5) I had good sleep, exercise, healthy food, I try to be positive but can't be happy as long as I have not achieved my goals22(5) Yesterday H called, the conversation felt really bad, and after that, my body ached because I felt bad, I didn't fall asleep at night. Today after self-thinkin, care, breathing, I was very calm,23(1) It could have been a good day, but it's a bad day.
(1) I understand how bad I went through and how strong I am, to continue despite everything. I will have to check my faith in God, no more blind faith, only from experience with proofs
(1) I Hope tomorrow will be better. Thank you God, for this day has passed and going to be over soon
24(2) I was born to a place I didn't feel I belonged to, I always knew I belonged to a different place. I hope that I will be able to be authentic and realize myself from this place as well
(5) I want to release H, where do I start? How to tell him that I want him only as a friend, if I'm not convinced myself that that's what I want
25(5) Nothing happens, but at least I'm five, at least I'm not in the tension of one, and I have a calm26(5) Still calm, I love it. Only H takes me out of the peace, tries to cut, I'm afraid of his reaction, and he tries to make me jealous, I'm afraid to cut and then feel bad again, so in a relatively quiet27(5) I slept well, still calm, I don't know what to do today ... I hope I'll find a guidance
(4) Feeling bad, my plans for tomorrow have been canceled, the situation is not something and H is playing games with me, I hope I will find the strength to end the relationship forever or find my
(4) When you are alone in life and you do not have one supporter and not one back, then it is more difficult to make decisions that require strength and courage, so that you have nowhere to fall.
28(4) Night of nightmares, but begins the day in the hope of making right decisions and improving29(5) I can't let H go because he helped me in the beginning we met. He was a friend before, always there for me, always nice, always listening. And I know that maybe
(2) Here comes Saturday again. Suffering begins. and it could be worse, I could be all week ten, on Saturday if I'm not lucky I'm zero
(1)
30(4) So I read H old messages from a year ago, and suddenly I thought I could never trust him, anyone who spoke to me like that during an argument. Even though it happens 'only' once a year, and the31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
April
MTWTFSS
1(5) I feel good, but I have negative thoughts like I'm afraid H will try to take revenge on me as he promised If I try to move on, and while I stay stuck like that because of him2(5) I don't understand you sometimes, God, but I hope I'll understand you in the end3(5) These down that come from the outside, and interfere with us feel good, are necessary for a life of progress, they strengthen us, these situations happen only from the outside and as we want to
(3) tired
(5) I am the most decisive since I knew H, I hope never to forget it, and not to think about it. I know for a fact that he is not my man. That I'm not attracted to him and that I've never been in love
4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5(5) I realized I had a lot of anger toward H, because of what he did to me in the past. and the fact that I didn't forgive him and that I have anger in my heart is the one who doesn't let me release him6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(4) I feel stres. I'm alone, I don't see a way out
(4) Very tired, I had an exhausting day, and an exhausting week, and days not available for rest
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12(3) Trying again medicine for my pain, it causes me side effects, bad taste, fatigue, impatience. And that doesn't help anyway. Why try. I'm tired of suffering from pain that the doctors can't find a13(5) I feel so alone14(5) I can't think he'll be with another woman. most of the day I'm fine, all I can do is do my best
15(4) I don't know why God do this to me when I work really hard but I remember who I was before, the only thing that strengthens me, to be this thing again
(5) My passion today is simply to clean and order my house and get chocolate or something sweet. How will I clean my inside? My body? And my thoughts? like I clean the house
(3) I went back to sleep in the morning, it did not happen to me for months. I'm really drowning and I don't know how to get out of it. The only person who was there for me is blocked
16(5) Day 2, when I got up late and did not exercise, I wanted to get up at seven and got up at nine instead of getting up to exercise.
(5) I feel not connected to any people in the world
(5) I allow myself to sleep, not to exercise, to eat less healthy. Because it's all right, because I'm not a robot. But in the end I'll get up. After many months of routine I am allowed a little release
17(5) I was busy with people all day and I did not have time to think and I thought about him. Then they needed help and I knew that if I was in contact with him he would help because he understands it18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(5) I said no to job next month, I want to invest in my health. They'll call next week and I think I'll refuse.20(4) When I'm with people I miss him more. When I'm alone it's easier, but when I'm with people I don't have time to try to remember the bad things.21(1) My family who said that they hated H so much and that I deserved someone better, don't care about me, they were not there for me, they keep criticizing me. They don't deserve me to succeed and that
(2) Any way if he is impatient now it is not my fault, the one who loves always loves and does not give up after five years of promises and trying. I left him but I'm not going back, I share my feeling
22(5) I met a friend and felt a bit like I once was, it was nice. After a few busy days I hope to rest. Because I wasted some money, I will probably agree to work in May but hope everything will work out
(3) At home, alone, thinking
23(5) It was a relaxing day, cleanliness and order, exercise, rest, still needing more rest, thoughts still but still wanting quiet24(4) I wish this week (Includes weekend) will end very quickly.25(4) I got used to sleep early and waking up early, but my family changed my routine, I slept well for many weeks, and now that they come back late I can't sleep, that's why I hate weekends26(1)
(4) I feel better, I don't know why, but trying to change attitude.
27(1) Bad sleep. I didn't exercise for almost a week(Not because my fault), another day of doing nothing forced upon me
(1) Can't sleep
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
29(5) I had the most amazing dream in the world. I felt as if everything was real, as if I had received energy from it, an amazing dream. I felt love, feelings that I had not felt before,
(5) Now I feel really good&calm without him, The problem is that after five years of getting to know him, I know, It's the time he makes contact (when I'm good without him) and brings me down.
30(5) Not very well sleeping at night, it absolutely affects my day.
May
MTWTFSS
  1(3) Still not sleeping well, yesterday I decided not to let it affect me and be happy even though. today it's stronger than me.
(5) Although I didn't sleep well, I did good, I exercised and arranged. but I'm getting a little heavy thoughts, will I have to be alone because I don't feel it with anyone?
(5) There are people who are interested in me and I don't feel like them, I can't open up with them, it's not that, I'm serious, but can't compromise
2(4) Tired, bad sleep
(4) I didn't slept well the last few nights. I feel that my whole body aches, is detached, hungry all the time, not calm, now I understand how important sleep is and why my worst periods were
(2) I don't feel like I want to sleep or can sleep, and I don't care, I don't care if I don't sleep anymore, I don't really care. I'm tired of everything. Surrounded by people who don't understand me
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4(1) 5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6(7) I feel better, I slept well, but, I think a bit about him and miss talking to him. It has to do with pms over
(5) People at work are so rude, and I have no power for anything, I just want someone to understand me and appreciate me. That's it. H appreciated me but he didn't give me what I wanted.
7(5) Very strong pain, poor sleep at night8(1) I didn't sleep well at night
(1) I slept another hour in the morning because I was exhausted but got up more exhausted. I don't have a deep sleep. I'm exhausted
(2) I have strong pains in my legs after walking a few days ago, and the pain doesn't pass. Usually it passes. and I don't want to see a doctor. so I try to ignore it.
(3) Another sleepless night. thoughts about H, that's the longest I think, we've been in no contact, I don't know how I feel, this time if he will not make a contact and I will not contact him either,
9(3) I didn't sleep at night, so I fell asleep until nine in the morning, I hate that it happens I like to get up early.
(2) I miss talking to him. The days when he was normal and good. I need to know what's going on with him so I can let go. I don't know how I feel but I really want to move on.
(4) I need a partner I'm a person of relationships and it's hard for me alone without anyone to share.
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
13(5) I slept not so well, I had a sweet and smart dream. Feel weak and tired, have to go through the day..and the week..
(5) I exercised (I made an effort), managed to sleep a little at noon, the house is clean and tidy, but the mood is not too high.
14(4) I slept very well, I made a cake, (and realized that I preferred to buy cookies or get a cake instead of making a cake), I forced myself to exercise. But I have no energies at all ..
(5) I made dinner, the cake delighted others so it makes me happy too
15(5) I feel alone. Everyone, including my family, is making progress in life, and only I make cookies and work at work just to survive the month. And nothing progresses. so it's true that I'm free now16(1) The worst day ever. I was traveling two hours on each side, and I was burned from the sun even though I applied sunscreen. I got up at six in the morning and I'm tired, and I'm burnt from the sun
(1) I have a lot of anger toward H, I usually forgive quickly, but I can't forgive him. He lied to me for five years and it's been a long time and I don't know if I can ever forgive him.He ruined my life
17(2) I saw a video of a baby trying to crawl and I understood, you have to look forward, Just like the baby trying to crawl forward, not backwards. the look always forward, and the thought too..18(5) I learned to apply sunscreen every two hours when I go outside. I learned to put myself first. I realized that I had feelings for H that I had to deal with them, that if I heard that he moved on it19(5) I woke up at six in the morning, with a dream, I don't think I can fall asleep again: /
20(5) I started the day at seven, everything was good, but I hate a day of traveling two hours on each side and being in the sun and hot, but at least I feel better and that's thanks to the right21(6) I feel better, although there is room for improvement, but at least not worse. I'm trying to think creatively, and continue focusing on my own focus, I'm also grateful for what there is, but equally,22(5) All is well, I'm afraid of the day I'll not sleeping well because of the pms. When I'm not sleeping well, my mood goes down.23(2) 24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(6)
(3) I feel really bad because the sun burned my skin and everything is still red and especially painful in my face and it did calm down but didn't go completely, it really affects me badly.
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27(5) I let myself sleep until nine in the morning. Right now I'm not motivated to get up, hope it gets better
(5) I ate chocolate and ice cream, tidy the house&clean, all is ok
28(4) H wrote me a message that he 'loves me'. I didn't answer him, but afterward I replied that this connection is not healthy for us. I knew it would come. But I've been through a lot since I blocked
(2) It takes me down, I hope I can sleep today. And I have two busy days to come, tomorrow and the day after I waited for them and now I have no energies.
29(1) I wish I could tell him I moved on, and never contact me again. I've already said that before, and it didn't work. and this is the circle for five years.I cut off.overcomes. Forgetting.30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
June
MTWTFSS
     1(4) A visit from my sis who got cold. I'm really afraid to get contagious, as I did the last time I was near people who had a cold. 4.52(4) I feel a bit sad. After H made contact and left me with question. (Did he moved on? Or waiting) And mostly bring me back. And my feeling that I'm on Hold.
(1)
3(2) The house is clean. There is food (and cookies) I did some exercise (mainly stretching) but the mood really low. I hope, after all, that I did not catch the cold, or maybe it is because I did?4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5(4) I feel quite low in the past few days, crying (and this does not happen to me often). I also have pain so I will have to make an appointment with the doctor. But I'm hoping to get back to myself,6(4) Very tired after the day. Travel. There was no sun:). The sun burnt is better:). Feel very lonely into the weekend.7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(3) Time does not pass this long weekend. Too much (unhealthy) food, too much sleep. I'm tired of everything that does not change.
10(2) 11(4) Very tired. I got up at six in the morning to work.
(3) I want to get into bed, and not go out. I have nothing to look for outside. There is no point in anything. Only time passes but no change. I don't have the money to go on vacation or go abroad,
12(2) I don't know if my mood is bad, because H has made contact and since then. He wrote again a few days ago.13(1) The whole family includes my brother's children want to come to me for a weekend. I prefer to be with H and not to go through this suffering. Maybe I'll actually take a suitcase and move in with H14(4) I feel lonely, I mainly want to be in my own house and with someone who will realy love me
(5) I made an appointment To renew my passport. I don't want to go abroad anymore, I don't like coffee shops, areas with many people, shopping outside, or restaurants. so why go abroad?
(1) My prayers were not answered. This weekend is going to be very bad for me. But I'll try to be as much as possible in the bed and hope it will be over quickly.
15(4) My face was burnt again from the sun. I have 2 options. Stop the ointment that is forbidden to go out with her to the sun. Or stop going out to the sun. And that's a little problematic because I
(2) I canceled plans going with the family tomorrow. I feel lonely and prefer to be home alone because It's the least painful. To hear that everyone is moving forward. And buy things. And make money.
16(4) I don't know how to get H out of my life. I wish God would send me a good person who would make me forget him. I'm also so angry at him and want to tell him everything.
17(3) Can't fall asleep. H has a life. But since I've known him I'm stuck. I have a lot of work and busy days and it does not help.18(5) I have busy days. I'm afraid of the coming weekend. Where I would not be busy.
(4) H makes me feel sad.
19(1) H called and said he is depressed, Stress and pressure. And wants me to come to be with him. I had a busy week so I'd rather rest. I don't care anymore. I'm tired of everything. he brings me down
(4) H presses me to come to him. Because he is so miserable and wants me to come to help him. (This is one of his manipulation so I'll feel bad not coming to help.) Yesterday I made a talk to my
20(3) Tired. H wants to meet today. He's angry at me as if I've done something wrong. And he accuses me of not moving forward with him. I don't really want to see him. He does not treat me well
(3) He is the one who made contact. And he's the one who accuses me of not meeting him. He tells me he's patient. But gets mad, and tries to convince me to meet. Is this patience?
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22(2) I don't think it matters whether he's in touch or not. As long as I remind myself to move on, meet new people. That I owe him nothing. And take care of myself. Everything else will happen by itself.23(4) I'm less enthusiastic about things that excited me in the morning.
24(5) I'm very stressed, I don't know if I can withstand the pressure25(5) I did'nt sleep all night. I have a day off, baking. very tired. I'm a little worried about the date I set, because it's a bit far away for me and I want to change it and I'm so tired
(5) It's the Pms time, that's why I'm so stressed and because of everything else
26(4) Awake from three in the morning. And I have a long day ahead of me. annoying. Especially since it was a few nights of not sleeping well27(4) It's the middle of the night and I still don't fall asleep.I don't know if this is normal and how many days I will be able to pass without sleep.
(1) Not even one minute of sleep at night. Today is a hard day. Travel. Never go to a meeting when you're tired. I don't remember much of the meeting yesterday because of the fatigue.
(4) The guy was not what I expected. Though he's nice. But I was expecting something completely different. Something to fit me. A really smart person and not the kind that other people tell him
28(5) I slept Ok, Not bad but not very good.I don't know whether to go to the doctor today. I made an appointment.And I don't feel like going. And I have no energies. And meeting the guy made me feel bad29(5) I went to sleep late because of a family visit. I think a lot of thoughts (Always). I need to listen more to myself!. So I wouldn't have been through a difficult week.
(4)
(4) Just when I think I'm on a good path. In every way. H contacted me. He is jealous and obsessive and threatening that I would not meet anyone but him
30(1)
(3) I feel lonely and with a lot of fears. As long as H in my life It hurts. It's like an open wound trying to close. And can not. The wound does not heal.
July
MTWTFSS
1(1) I slept until 9 in the morning. I feel I have nothing to get out of bed for. I don't have strength. I want to cry.
(3) I don't have the strength to call work and set days for the month. I don:t have the strength to continue my project. But I hope things will get better. Although it has been
2(1) Bad sleep. Bad dreams. Everything is bad.3(2) I told H what I think of him. I wanted to get it all out. Of course he got mad and accused me of everything. I wrote him that I would never forgive him. I don't want to be afraid of anyone.
(1) Every time I manage to be happy he calls and destroys me. I wish myself to meet someone very good after what I went through
4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5(1) I honestly feel as if God has forgotten me.
(2) I hope to lift myself from his ignores. Since I wrote him that I will not forgive him, he is quiet. If only I knew it was the way to get rid of his situation. But really. When I feel better he'll come
(1)
6(2) I slept too much. And it makes me feel bad. Because I got up at six in the morning which is good. Because I slept at night. Then I fell asleep again until ten.
(3) I can't be angry with him because it only hurts me. And I want to forgive everyone. And not keep anger in the heart. So the way to it Is to focus on my life. And continue toward my goals.
(4) I feel better. (Mentally. physically, I have headaches and nausea.) I don't know whether to take paracetamol. Because I took too much this week and although it helps me it's not healthy.
(3) He's never been quiet and it's strange and frightening. It's hard to think that the person who claims to love me can see me hurt and remain indifferent and continue to hurt
(1) I don't want to hurt anyone. Not even him. And maybe I hurt him. When I told him I would never forgive him. I don't want to hurt. I don't know if I hurt. But if I did, I feel really bad about it.
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8(5)
(6) I slept very good. Travel Day.
(3) financial fears.
(1) In addition to everything Another sunburnt again. I'm leaving the job because I'm tired of traveling
9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(1) 11(5) Working day. I met a woman I knew in childhood, It was nice. I do not know whether to go to the doctor tomorrow or postpone the appointment, But I have to decide now
(3) I met a friend and it was nice. I just feel bad. Regardless of anything. Everything is bad. And does not change. And Bad. Bad.
12(5) I went to the doctor, I'm glad I went. There are positive things to look at. I will try to change attitude to see more positive.13(4) I don't know if I made a mistake. If I push H away from me. And maybe he could have been good for me. I know he really wanted me. He wanted to love me. He wanted to marry me and make me happy14(3) People offer me jobs that I don't want! Why is this happening to me? Why
15(4) Another day in this world. I exercised. I made a face mask. I slept at noon.Every time I open my project on the computer I feel pressure in my chest. And can't go on and turns off the computer16(1) No one understands me in this world. I hope to find the people who will understand me. And will support my decisions. And love me and encourage me to decide what I feel right17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18(2) I feel lonely, maybe it's a feeling I need to learn live with. I don't know what's going on with him.But I know that if I could go on vacation (I stopped with the ointment so I'm allowed a sun)
(1) I feel really bad. I feel pain all over my body. I have heavy in my chest. I need to make an appointment for a doctor. But the feeling is that it's because of emotional stress.
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20(2) I feel I'd rather be apathetic. Than to react with pain, I'm in pain. I'll be apathetic. I do my best and this not enough. Do I have to work in a school where I studied? To return to
(4) There is someone I know through a mutual friend. Who wanted me A few years ago. Now he tried again.And honestly It's my style. And I already know him. We Met Before.
(5) It's nice not owe anybody anything..and not have to go to work you don't love or don't want to.
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22(5) Up late (9am).I want to return to balance. But everything is fine. I will try today (and in general) to demand more of what I deserve. This week there is a meeting (should be on tuesday)
(1)
23(5) I postponed the meeting and got up in the morning to hear that the people I had to meet with could not come today anyway! That mean,If I had gone, I would have gone for nothing. It turns out
(1)
24(1) He wrote and called. I did not reply. So he started to go crazy and write that I had someone else. I managed not to answer him but I feel bad. This person hurt me very much.And I was really good
(2) I don't understand why God did this to me when I'm trying so hard. I really have no hope. For the future or anything. I think I'll have to answer him. But every time he makes a contact
25(4) I woke up in the morning and had a nice dream. About a friend we were together on a trip and we went to the pool. I didn't answer him. And I know I have to be strong now. Because I want to be
(3) I made a cake. But I have no appetite.
26(6) I feel nice. I know it can change but why not write it too. My appetite has returned, but it's nice that sometimes there's no appetite ?
(2) he wrote, I didn't answer. I have to go through a family days. And it does not make me happy.
27(2) After talking to my mum, I understood why they treated me so badly. Because the day before they talked about me because I didn't agree to get the job.And my sister told my dad not to give me anything.
(3) I just pray never to forget what they did to me, because I forget and they hurt me again.
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30(4) I miss him. I want to talk to him. And if I hear he has someone else, I wouldn't handle it. I know it's because the P.m.s is over. And it is only two weeks and it will pass31(4) Strong period pains. Paracetamol no longer helps. I took ibuprofen for the first time now.
(4) I think H seeing someone.I know I'm the one who left. I'm the one who didn't respond to his messages. That I was the one she didn't want. But I don't want to get hurt because of that.
August
MTWTFSS
   1(4) Blood Test today. I'll have to wait patiently for these two weeks to end. And believe that if he is mine then he will not find anyone else. and if not so I will find my place in the world, too.2(5) He wrote to me. I didn't reply. I actually started to get the idea that he see someone and So, I also have to look forward and meet new people.Or even give a chance to guys who have tried before3(4) My family mostly let me down. But he shows he's still here and actually surprises me for the better. That he's not annoyed that I'm not answering and he's not obsessed and jealous like before
(1)
4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5(5) I dreamed about the one that brought me a lot of fears. because of him I got fears and that's why I don't let anyone get close.6(5) I feel lonely. I think he sees someone, Although he wrote to me the other day (and I didn't answer him). I see that everyone is moving forward in life. People were getting married, than divorce7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(5) I want this person I can take pride in and say that he is the person who supported me. For which I am happy. I'm lucky to be in my life. Where's that person?9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(4) He wrote to me yesterday. After a week I thought he saw someone else. I know I can answer him another week from now and suddenly he'll tell me he has someone, within a week he could find someone.
(1) I didn't eat healthy today,I did't exercise. I didn't do anything.
(4) He wrote to me again. On the one hand, I feel lonely and I want to answer because I know he always knew how to be a friend and listen. On the other hand, Am I ready to get back in touch?
11(5) I feel ambivalent. On the one hand I don't want to go back and answer him because I had very difficult years with him. On the other hand, it is very bad feeling to write to someone who does not answer
12(4) I'm glad I didn't answer him. The man was trying to lower my self-confidence and ruin my life. I really don't have to answer him. And I owe him nothing.13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(5) I made a mistake and answered his message, But I can't go on like that. Ignored sms,But that's a mistake. I replied briefly and hope to explain to him that it will not be back to what it was. But
(5) I just realized that having a mental problem is a very problematic situation. Since he seemed normal to me at first, I didn't think it important. But something similar to narcissism and
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(1) Someone I knew and wanted to know me had tried for a long time.I always found excuses not to meet.I think he has already found someone. Which again shows me that everyone is moving forward in life
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(4) I had a conversation with someone I know (he is my neighbor) and he told me some things that really opened my eyes and I hope to take them to my attention.30(4) I feel sad, I don't know if he'll ever write again, I know it's because the piamas are over. And it's mostly hormones. But if that happens I will try to look forward and not back.
(5) H didn't write to me today as always, but would be fine. I have projects. I have a neighbor who told me yesterday that he has feelings for me?, but this is an opportunity to let go.
31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
September
MTWTFSS
      1(4) The neighbor called and told me if I wanted to meet. So I told him 'no'. I only see him as a friend and that's it. So he tried to convince me. But you know how much I want someone.
2(5) Feeling bad because of yesterday's call. I am so confident in myself and my decision.But feel that I was not assertive enough to convey it directly. And maybe I left the other side in doubt
(4) After a few days I felt good and positive. I feel really bad. And I remember all the negative thoughts. That I'm not progressing in my project and that I'm alone.
3(5) I had an argument with my dad. And I started to cry. But what he doesn't know is that I didn't cry because of him. I cried because nothing happening in my life. Everything is stuck. I also cried4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(5) I think he forgot about me (the last time he wrote me was six days ago and it was short and I didn't answer) but I remind myself that I actually felt bad with him most of the time.
(1)
(2) I guess it's 'good' for me that he writes to me. It gives me some confidence that if I don't find someone then he'll wait there. It's not good for me. And there are no guarantees in life. I need to
(4) I have just washed my face twice. Because I applied the ointment I once applied. And it was forbidden to go out in the sun. And I was burned out of the sun because of it.But how funny. I haven't been
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(3)
9(4) Less sleep. Pms on the way. Reminds myself to focus on the positive. And in my goals.
(3) I have been in full tension since the argument. I know now everything is fine. But that's really not. I am constantly hurt by them, and the problem it affects me. I feel exhausted,
10(5) I need to get some phone calls back. And I don't find the strength to do that.
(5) H wrote to me. He invited me to his private event. I didn't answer. But it seems to me that he will be angry with me for not answering and wishing him goodluck.
11(5) I made some phone calls that I needed to make.
(4) I miss him. He is the only one who understand me.
12(4) I move between complete hope and no hope at all.13(5) I feel there are things I can't ignore. This invitation is one of them. And that I have to answer. Sometimes a mistake is in the way of overcoming something.14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15(4) The sms with H does not go well. From a brief correspondence I realized how much he's not serious and was just playing with me and continuing to waste my time in false hope.
16No Reasons17No Reasons18No Reasons19(4) So many things break down and stop working at the house. I got a cold from someone and though I was very careful not to come close. I've been stuck in my life for a long time.20(2) Something's wrong with me since he came back to talk. I don't sleep well at night, I have no power to do anything. I have no appetite. I feel bad. Like I probably felt bad when I was in contact with
(5) I think he 'forgot' about me. He told me, we'll talk after the event. And he hasn't spoken to me since. And it's been almost a week, maybe he was mad that I didn't come. But what can be done.
21(1) 22No Reasons
23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons26(1) I have no calm since I answered him two weeks ago. I'm sick, I'm without energy. I feel insecure. Confused. I didn't achieve my goals.27(4) I feel a bit better. I woke up at five in the morning and didn't feel stress. I started to write down my goals. And what I have already achieved. Then I was able to go back to sleep.
(1) I Just found out I'm going to have to spend the long weekend with people I suffer with. I have to go to family. And I was even glad I was going somewhere else. And suddenly I hear that relatives
28(5) I have worked very hard over the last few months. I got up early, went back to exercise, studying. And self-work. But maybe I need a little release. Be lighter. Take life easy. I always took life29(5) I'm really trying. But I keep feeling this is not going to be a good day. I'm feeling lonely, also and most of all around more people
(5) Around people.I miss him.But now that I am in miss, he is not very nice to me. At least I know that the pms will come I'm not going to
30No Reasons
October
MTWTFSS
 1(4) I have to go home to get back to balance. The visit was ok, but I'm different from them. And I need my privacy. I still miss him. But hope thats what needs to happen will happen for the better.2(5) I was traveling with my sister. It's harder for me when I'm not home, I haven't returned home yet. I miss him but in a week the pms will come and it will pass. I know. So I have to wait
(1) I miss him. I want home. I don't want to be at my mom's house again. never. I can't sleep at her house at night. I can't write to himx because he is angry with me.
3(2) Feeling so tired. Waiting to come home today. I didn't contact H, which is an achievement in itself. My goal is to succeed in not contacting him until the Pms,after that I don't miss him at
(4) Back home. Feels a bit better,but it's strange to me that he doesn't write suddenly. I was stronger. I have to stay strong. Read the conversations from the past, remember why I didn't want him.
4(5) I feel a bit better. An old friend got in touch, and I have more energy. But I'm really waiting for Pms to arrive, so I coluld forget about him.
(2) I am so disappointed in him. I would expect more from a person who promised to do everything for me. I would expect more from someone who, for his event, I broke my silence and returned a message -
5(5) I just read old messages. I'm glad I didn't contact him. It's best not to be together. I need someone to be there for me 100 percent. Always. And it's not him. I know I will have to continue
(4) Realizing that all was not true, so painful. If he is not serious/or he has someone else so why he wrote to me all the time and bothered me. I have suggestions from good guys. And if he didn't wrote
6(4) I'm very suspicious when someone adds me on Facebook and Instagram. Even though it's people I know. I sometimes think it's someone who wants to follow me/stalker, like H maybe he's pretending
7(5) I don't sleep well at night. It's very hot here. very hot. Summer doesn't want to go.
(4) H spoke to me. He told me he is still interested. And that he doesn't see himself guilty of anything. He feels I'm guilty of everything. And he doesn't feel that he has to apologize.
8(4) H spoke to his ex, and told her he wanted to come back to me. Then she told him he had to be careful because I was undecided, and I can run away again. The whole story sounds not normal to me.9(5) My number one mistake was that I broke silence and answered the invitation to his event. And that created a snowball. And conversations. And everything is back to the beginning.10(4) I see no direction. No hope. At least when I wasn't in contact with him I had hope. He took that too from me.11(5) I had a good sleep. It hasn't happened in the last few weeks.
(5) apparently pms here. We'll see how the connection survives this.
12(5) I want to get him out of my life. I'll start by continuing my decision not to meet. And in a conversation of breaking the connection. After which I will not answer any more and block everywhere.
(5) He called and was nice.And I felt sorry for him. Maybe I gave him too much power. But it is night and I want to sleep well and anyway we don't meet so I'll have to do it at another time,maybe tomorrow
13(4) I put a picture on instagram and someone I knew wrote me. And asked if I wanted to meet. It puts me under pressure. And I don't know what to answer. Because he's a really nice person,
14No Reasons15No Reasons16(5) These feelings come and go. so fast. Sometimes they only come for a few minutes. But when they come, they seem to stay forever.17(1) I really can't anymore. He ruined me all day! At first I got up in the morning with a message and decided not to let it ruin my day. And now he called and invited me over for a weekend and when
(2) Why is this happening to me. Why do I feel obligated to someone I haven't met in over a year. That I haven't talked to in two months. And that he is blocked on all networks.
18(1) I made a goodbye call with H. I had an argument with my dad. And I'm basically alone in this world. I don't have one person I can trust.19No Reasons20(4) I woke up at five in the morning with a sad song in my head and a dog barking under my window.
21(5) I really need my place. I really need my routine. These long weekends are not good for me. I need to get back to balance.22(4) I don't want to start the day. I can't live a hard life.
(5) I did some shopping that I needed. Not good for my bank account. But good for my mood.
23(5) I feel o.k., but I need money. I get along with savings. But that's about to end. I try to think of jobs I love. But the distance from the city does not help.24No Reasons25(5) I feel ok. I signed up for a dating site. I'll probably erase it in two days.( I don't believe my one is there)26No Reasons27(1)
28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31(4) I feel bad. I've been trying to exercise all week. Sleep early. Eat healthy. The house is clean and tidy. And I feel really bad.
November
MTWTFSS
    1No Reasons2(4) I had a dream about someone who passed away a year ago. He was such a good person. His family is so lucky to have had him. And they know it.3(3) I have no appetite. I slept too much. I have no power that nothing changes in my life. Something must change. Even if I force it.
4(2) I feel sad. bad sleep. But try to say thank you for what is.
(4) Call from the old job. Ask if I want to work for a month and a half. I really want to find a permanent job. And not that the road is long. (Because of the distance I left).
5No Reasons6No Reasons7(5) I feel he knew someone else. It's just my feeling. But I have intuitions. And it's not easy. Because it has been easy until now. Because I distracted myself. Now that feeling is strong. And he's8(5) I feel ok. Although I don't like weekends. Because they make me hate them first. I am much more efficient during the week than at the weekend. And if I could get through an apartment
(5) He wrote to me. Just at the moment I let go.
(4) Still very hot here. Autumn is not coming. And I have to go to work and it is a long drive and there is sun on my face. I also worry about my mom's dog who must be very hot for her.
9(1) 10No Reasons
11(2) I have been very successful in the past. I achieved everything on my own. Without family help. But my family took pride in me. Now that I have no permanent job. And not money like before12No Reasons13(4) A good friend from the past (who I do love) called. But I had no power to answer him. I have no mood. Because the situation with the family.14(5) It's about +30 C, but starting tomorrow is expected to drop.& Everything is okay at the moment.
(4) I feel like I want to write to him. That he might be on a date with someone and maybe he doesn't careful. And I try not to write. Because of course we are not in touch.
15No Reasons16No Reasons17No Reasons
18(5) I realised . If once it was bad. This does not mean that I will add bad habits to myself now19(2) I have body aches today. I feel like I can't be strong all the time. Yesterday I felt strong and calm. Today I feel that life is breaking me. And I have no more power to fight.20(4) It's very cold and I don't feel well. My body aches.21(4) Just sitting in front of the phone. And wondering where he is or with whom. I hope to be with someone I love so I can stop thinking about where he is.22(4) I feel bad. I need the change in my life. It already affects my health. All those worries. This life. It's too much for me.23No Reasons24No Reasons
25No Reasons26No Reasons27No Reasons28(4) Someone I went to a couple of meetings with two years ago and then I ended the relationship because I didn't think it was a match called me today.29(3) I feel bad because H and because of the whole situation. I need money. I also know things about H That I just can't stop thinking about it. And I try not to contact.
(2) I feel like this guy who called really bothered me. I've been more bothered since he called. I feel like he's been following me on whatup and writing messages all the time. I feel sick. Really bad.
30(3) I really feel hurt and pain about the knowledge I have about H. I feel like I'm an honest and innocent person and that's why I can't find anyone.