3.5 avg
  256 days
  973 hugs
  25 followers
January
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(0) 12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(0) 18(0) 19(3) 20(4) Rough start to the day but turned it around.
21(3) Had to do something today that I have been dreading. Got through it though22(1) Couldn't sleep, constant bad thoughts. Going back to bed and will try life again later.
(1)
23(3) 24(5) Just tired.25(2) Just when things start looking positive something is always there to drag you back down.26(2) Low today, anniversary of losing my dad.27(5)
28(4) 29(2) 30(3) Sleeping pills not working tonight. Counselling today.... should be fun.
(3) Feeling really tense after counselling. Don't want to do anything else now, need to get motivated.
31(4) Tired and grumpy, guess i've been worse. Doctors again tomorrow.
February
MTWTFSS
    1(3) Hard day. Went in to work for the first time in almost 2 months. Near panic attack in the car park. Another hurdle passed though.2(6) 3(3)
4(4) Was going ok today. Anxious about going back to the doctor tomorrow, sure it will be ok though.5(5) Didn't sleep well but actual have energy today.
(2) Grrrrrr. Anger is back, thought I was getting better. Too much going on right now and can't do anything right.
6(4) Good counselling session today, nervous about mental health assessment and going in to work tomorrow.7(3) Appointment with mental health people went ok, apparently I'm doing really well. Then I talk to my wife about it and she just keeps talking and talking, when I say its majing me feel pressured she has8(4) Good to see a friend from work last night, but seeing how bad things are at work hasn't helped with returning to work plans. Struggling to get up today, loads of messed up dreams last night.
(6) Day has improved. Relaxed, went for a walk and relaxed some more. Fingers crossed for a good day tomorrow.
9(5) Meh10(5) Just feel ill today. Quite balanced mentally though.
11(4) Still feeling ill, could do without it at the moment.12(5) 13(4) Couldn't sleep last night so now I'm exhausted and still feeling ill. Cancelled counselling today, frustrating as I actually wanted to go this time.14(2) Wish I'd posted this morning, was a 7. Good breakfast, jokes and smiling. Now p***** off feeling s***.15(4) Productive at least today.
(1) Not felt this bad for a while. Feel like giving up again.
16(2) Marginally better than yesterday17(5) Doing ok today, got a tough week ahead but I'm going to go at it positively. Sure by tomorrow I'll be a nervous wreck but going to fight it this week.
18(3) So anxious about tomorrow, seeing an old friend and the conversation is going to be really hard.19(2) Struggling, can't understand why I'm feeling so low when I seam to be making progress on the work issue that started all this. Seeing my friend went better than expected, he was ver understanding.20(2) Been a hard day, didn't want to go to counselling today but forced myself. Good long walk this evening helped relax me but still feeling low, need a good day soon.21(5) Upping medication, fingers crossed for a bit of a boost.22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(7) Best day I've had for a while, daughter's birthday party tomorrow, should be fun. Another awesome cake made as well.
(5)
24(1) Back here again.
25(4) Barely slept, first day back at work.
(6) Work not as bad as expected and a nice walk in the sun after, things are looking up.
26(4) Work sucks. Need to have some serious discussions and get something done before it pushes me back to the dark place I've just come from.27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(5)
March
MTWTFSS
    1(3) Work has been ok, just struggling with home life now. Feel so much better at work, my wife can't seem to accept it though. I know I've put her through a lot but I need her to believe that I'm on top2(5) 3(5)
4(6) Ok day, work was better than expected. Now bouncing around the kitchen to the prodigy, rip keith.5(7) Very interesting day at work, bring on tomorrow's meeting.6(5) 7(7) Promising meeting today, finally looking up. Long weekend off now as well.8(7) 9(5) Not getting on too well with my wife today, she can't cope with me wanting to be quiet sometimes. Frustrating, we can't all just ramble on all day can we?10(5)
11(4) 12(7) Good day. Got some free time so got my bake on. Got another cake to make for a friend tomorrow after work, finding it very mindful...... and the extra cash is nice.13(7) Having a reasonable day at work. Feeling a strange sort of euphoria at the moment, must be increase in meds.14(6) Ok. Long weekend off work to look forward to.15(4) Been looking forward to a few days off work and straight away we're arguing again. Looking forward to work for a change. She just will not accept that I am on top of my mental health so keeps on at me16(4) 17(5) Up and down so 5 I guess.
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(1) 20(2) 21(2) Struggling.22(4) 23(5) 24(6)
25(3) 26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27(0) 28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31(3) Anxious more than anything now so could be worse. Need this week to go well. Mental health access team appointment tomorrow, hoping for something positive.
May
MTWTFSS
  1(3) 2(7) Having a good day at work, been a while.
(5) Good day apart from another puncture.
3(2) Can always rely on someone to bring me back down. Am I not allowed to have a good day? Sick of this, I want to run away and live in a cabin somewhere isolated.4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5(6)
6(2) 7(2) 8(0) 9(3) 10(5) Going in to today with an open mind.11(6) Pretty good today, looking forward to making an Avengers birthday cake for my friend's son.12(7)
13(7)
(2) Looks like I'm being pushed out at work.
14(4) Not a bad start to the day, still angry.15(6) Good day I think but feeling really anxious and don't know why.16(1) All s**t I've been through at work and I'm still happier there than at home.17(2) Having another crap day at home, poker night with the lads tonight though so something to look forward to.18(6) Tired after late night poker session but today looks ok at work.19(0) Gone deeper than ever. New low starting point maybe? Feel more like -1 not 0.
20(2) Better than yesterday.21(6) Job interview in the morning. Stressed as have my in-laws over for a few days though.22(4) Interview went ok. Apart from that I just feel isolated and confused.23(4) Sun is shining at least.24(4) Headache.25(6) Nice morning with the kids, good ride this afternoon but a bit anxious this evening.26(4) Flat
(1) Glorious evening with the wife, had enough. Can't go on like this but don't want to leave my kids. If I stay I'm putting my safety at risk. I need a big change, I need a new job away from here.
27(1) Should be a good day, Villa winning at Wembley but the usual s*** ruins it.28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(5) Good day yesterday as out all day on a course. Also a call about a job which looks amazing but pays rubbish. Back to normal slog today.30(3) Just feel rubbish today for no obvious reason.31(3) Apparently I'm moping around and being grumpy. I just don't want to see or talk to anyone, give me a break.
June
MTWTFSS
     1(5) 2(3)
3(4) Reasonable day but really anxious now. Having to interact with people that I really don't want to. Trying not to get my hopes up but it looks like some well deserved karma is on its way for them.4(3) 5(5) Unsettled mostly. May be some interesting developments on the job front, not sure if I'm in the right place mentally to make the most of it though.6(1) F**k today. Putting me track pants on and chillin in front of the t.v.7(0) Hate this life8(2)
(0)
9(2) Better than zero. That's about all I can say about today.
10(3) Being ignored at work because I'm speaking out, nice. At least it makes it easier to hide and play on my phone instead of doing any work.11(4) Almost an indifferent day.
(0) Again
12(1)
(0)
13(1) Been referred to a psychiatrist and coming off meds as I'm not 'making any progress'.
(0) Come home from work so I'm back at 0.
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15(5) Good night with some friends last night, could do with more sleep. Busy weekend, optimistic that it will be better than the week I've just had.
(3) So much going on at the moment, need a time out.
16(3)
17(4) Mmmm, plain rice for breakfast. Day 2 of #rationchallenge. Good cause, keep thinking that.
(3) Have been worse, feel like I'm not far away from it though. Nice time with my son this morning feeding the animals, shame I can't just do that all day.
18(3) What do want for breakfast today? Rice, again. #rationchallenge hard going, can't imagine doing this for more than a week, struggling already and its only day 3.19(5) Thank you John, if any of you other lovely, kind, beautiful, intelligent, caring, magnificent pandas would like to support me here is the link20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21(2) Too much going on22(5) Last day of the #rationchallenge so looking forward to tomorrow. Suppose it hasn't helped my mood this week. Realising how lucky I am as some people will be having rice for breakfast again tomorrow.
(2) Looks like I'm not sleeping again tonight
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(5) Hospital this morning, fingers crossed for some kind of miracle fix as it's get me down. Job interview tomorrow so prep this afternoon around my daughter's theatre show.26(5) Trying to stay positive, nervous about job interview and have the impending doom fee
(6) Interview went well, not getting hopes up though and not sure I'd take the job anyway. Counselling flew by, so much going on, think I got a few things straight though.
27(2) S**t day at work and home to more arguing and me feeling like I need to 'do as I'm told'.... again. Need to get out of both s**t situations as soon as possible.28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(6) Ok so far, getting a bit warm.30(4) Burnt out