3.9 avg
  60 days
  375 hugs
  13 followers
January
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
February
MTWTFSS
    1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
March
MTWTFSS
    1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
April
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
May
MTWTFSS
  1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
June
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
July
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
August
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
September
MTWTFSS
      1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
9No Reasons10(10) 11No Reasons12No Reasons13No Reasons14No Reasons15No Reasons
16(2) 17(1)
(1) Got dumped again last night by someone who was perfect but afraid to commit.... She gave the same reasons my ex gave and now I can't feel a thing. I'm just numb
(1) Any suggestions on how to get through my day at work?
(3) Feeling better after being cared for by my loving colleagues and now I'm on my way to the doctors to do damage control
18(3) I went to the doctors, got my medication changed and given valium for when I'm spiralling. I'm going to invest in therapy too. These have all lifted my spirits just a bit but I'm still feeling low
(7) The drugs kicked in.... I feel nothing right when I need to feel nothing and it's just perfect.... I will have to deal with my emotions eventually.... But not today
19(2) I fucking hate mornings
(1) Mornings are shit
(3) I feel like I'm pretending to be happy for my colleagues but inside I am so broken
(5) My work friends are my life line atm.... They are managing to make me really laugh which is tough
20(3) I feel numb this morning.... I'm still in shock
(2) I'm so numb at this point with a million things running through my head. Why has this happened?
(3)
(2) I feel lied to and like I am going to breakdown in a big way the second I get home tonight.... I don't know how to get through the weekend without heavy drugs
21(2)
(4) I can't tell if the pills calmed me or I tired myself out.... Regardless I feel levelled, not happy but manageable
(5) Mummy's are the best
22(3) I can't tell if I'm building up false hope for myself
(2) I've had a knot in my stomach all day that I don't know how to shift
23(1) I don't want to get up, I want to stay in bed forever
(1)
(1) I need a break from life
(4) I can't tell if I'm hiding in work or if it's actually helping to be there.... Only when I'm not there all I do is cry
(5) I needed to really cry and be fed and I finally feel happier
24(3) Fuck mornings
(2) Just about holding my shit together this morning. If I can just keep it together till work is properly flowing then I can hold it together till this evening and have a good cry again. I need to cry
(5) I'm in a good place of acceptance today.... I'm aware it won't last but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts
25(1) It wasn't long lasting
(1) Dull ache of never being good enough. I know I am but I can't switch off the thoughts in my brain
(5) She text and I'm really trying not to have hope. I am trying to practice distance for myself so that I can protect myself. But its difficult not to hope when you fell in love with someone so quickly
(6) Feeling grateful for the mood panda community. You make me feel normal and less alone
26(4) I'm tired but I'm feeling OK. I know this mood shift is because she got in contact and I know that's not good but it's a relief to not feel so shit.
(6) Bit unnerving to say I'm happy.... I feel like I'm blindly on the edge of a cliff
(6) Health insurance has kicked in so I can start therapy really soon and finally go back to my therapist who I love
(5) I'm feeling uneasy. I can feel that my brain has gone to happy hideaway land and is pretending everything is fine. I feel a dip looming. I've taken a valium to ease it.
27(4)
(3)
(6) Work makes me so happy.... But I have a perminant dull ache in the pit of my stomach.... In the back of my mind there is bad days looming
(2)
(5) Whenever I feel down I notice that cats on the street tend to follow me around and come say hello.... Anyone else had this? It's so weird!!!!
28(3) Why did I dream about my ex from two and a half years ago last night?!
(2)
(1) It feels like my skin is crawling... I can't concentrate on anything
(5) Feeling better after meditation and knitting
29(4) Travelling home alone at night after a party knowing there is no one at home to cuddle up with is one of the hardest things
(3) Sundays
(3) I feel pretty dull today but I've got therapy finally booked in for Thursday so at least I know I can talk to someone who knows me soon. I'm nervous though... Avoiding is easier
(2) I feel so lonely
(6) 3 hour phone call with mum has made me feel a little less hollow and alone and a little more loved
(6) Does anyone else have a preference for when their mood lifts? I HATE daylight hours with a passion
30(2)
(5) Work always helps
(7) Feeling almost like myself this evening. Soup on, bath running, rain on the window... Perfect
October
MTWTFSS
 1(3)
(2)
(4) Long day at work in the rain
(2) Sometimes I really wonder if I'm in the right industry for my mental health. Been on set for 12 hours plus commuting hours means I'll have been up and working for 16 hours
2(2) Nightmares about work all night and now I've woken up with her on my mind. I just feel like it all meant less to her and that really eats me up inside
(1) Spent my commute to work with my nails dug into my hands. Not a good day. I can't switch my brain off. Why did she leave? Why hasn't she called
(4) Today felt like a rough day but I got through it and I can go home and look after myself now
(1) When will the tears stop?
3(1) I feel awful this morning. I don't want to go to work I just want to lie in bed and cry till therapy tonight. I'm so tired of feeling like this
(2) Struggling with music playing at work
(2) On my way to therapy and I'm feeling really anxious
(5) Thank god for therapy being back in my life. I've got a long road ahead but I feel calmer for starting it
4(4) Bit iffy this morning but substantially better than most
(6) I'm grateful for where I work and the people I get to spend my days with
5(5) I'm trying my best to not let my brain get to me today.... But I feel like I could dip massively
(4)
(3)
(6) Nice afternoon of walking, watching comfort TV and knitting with my best friend helped. But its only 4.30 and I know I'll cry later
6(2) I keep waking up from awful nightmares and every time I feel so aware that she's not here to cuddle and make me feel safe and I just miss her
(0)
(2) Grateful to have friends around me
(4) I don't really know how to find the energy to look after myself at the moment and I can't expect my friends to drop everything to help. I'm living in a pig sty and I need help
7(2)
(4) Brain numbed and feelings bottled up ready for work
(2) Not a good day... Definitely feeling a ginormous black cloud in my brain today despite how I might appear at work. I know it'll pass but I hate not knowing when I'll feel OK again. It's scary
(6) Granny sent me money because she knows I'm struggling and mum spent an hour on the phone to me. I may not have who I want but I have a good support system
8(2) Fuck mornings
(3) Ready to scream at someone at work
(2) In a weird space. I feel very low, but I also feel calm. Just kind of OK with sitting with my feelings tonight. I still feel like I've lost something though, I'm just trying to find acceptance in that
9(3)
(2)
(1) I don't want to go to work today, I just want to cry
(2) I don't feel well and my brain is mulling over the break up. I just want to go home and cry and wallow for once rather than soldiering through the work day
(6) I feel OK so I guess today is a good day. Although I am pretty certain it's because I have completely switched off my brain from life
(6) My bupa cover just came through!!!!! For 50 à month I can now get 14 weeks of therapy
10(2)
(1) Having constant seizures, can't do my job properly and feel like I can't take the day off to recover
(3) Gut punch hit at lunch
(4) Work was better today but I'm tired and not feeling well and I really wanted to cry this morning
11(1)
(4) Mixed emotions today. But I just got paid more money at work which was a nice surprise and tomorrow I'll see my parents who are helping me clean my flat so I can relax a little
12(3) Feeling really alone right now. I wish I had a partner
(5) Parents came up to help me clean the flat today and treated me to a visit from the cat too which made me smile. Still feel like crying though
(2) Hot tap in the kitchen broken and can't fix. Had to contact the landlord which fills me with anxiety that he won't fix it easily or try and blame me and I just don't have it in me to deal with it
(6) Got a phone call from my best friend right after my parents left and I was about to start really crying and I told her that I was glad she called and she said that she just had a feeling she should
13(7)
14(5)
(8) I feel like nothing can touch me emotionally today.... Kinda concerns me that my mood can flip so easily though. Wish someone would diagnose me
(9) ?
15(3) Woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack
(6) I am feeling really irritable with people at work, but suuuuper cheery with others. It's tiring ?
(3)
16(4) Mornings... Ughhh
(5) I can feel myself slowly slipping back into my happy place where I pretend I have no problems in life.... And I have no idea how I feel about this
17(5)
(3)
(2) Just want to cry today
(1) I'm tired and I feel a panic setting in. The saving grace is I have therapy tonight
(3) Up and down today.... Therapist is pushing me to see a psychotherapist for more answers and help
18(5) Numb and neutral today
(4) Definitely on the verge today
(8) Amazing evening having dinner with my colleagues
(4) Feeling that deflated lonely feeling post socialising
19(4) Eurghh weekends
(1) I feel like utter shite today
(3) Does anyone have any non triggering (relationship specific) series, films, podcasts or books? I need some safe escapism
(7) Nice evening celebrating my friends birthday and meeting nice new people
20(4) We started texting again. I don't know how I feel about it because truly I have no idea what it is for her and I'm too scared to ask
(3) I find explaining my choices of keeping in contact with her to my friends frustrating. They aren't part of it and I feel like they aren't trying to understand
(7) It feels like nothing ever happened. I still don't know how to feel but in truth this level of connection is all I can handle right now anyway so I guess I'll just wait and see
(8) It's like a million weights have been lifted. Is it the drug dose being raised? Or the reflexology? I don't think it was her texting because that made me want to throw up till the massage
21(5) Work is bringing me a lot of anxiety
(4) I've had underlying panic all day. I feel like if I let it I could have had a full blown panic attack
(2) She's getting back with her ex because he has appeared at the exact same time as he did last year when we had only been on a few dates. He is toxic and she knows it but they also have never properly..
22(2) Si vous much need to focus on me right now
(2) I very much want to cry today so I'm going to have to dig deep to get through... I think this may well be the case for a little while now
(1) Because of why I'm sad I feel I can't talk to anyone. So now I'm just crying in the toilets alone at work. I don't want to be at work but being at home won't help. I just want to not feel like this
(4) Feeling much better after allowing myself to cry and also called to book a doctors appointment to finally beg for actual help
(1) Started listening to reasons to stay alive by matt haig. I can only listen in the evenings because it makes me cry uncontrollably. I wish I had a partner to support me through all this
23(3) Life really fucking sucks sometimes
(5) Dull ache but trying to keep my rational brain on.... If for nothing else so I can be good for my best friends birthday tonight
(3) What I hate the most is when you are out at a social event and you feel it slipping and you have a quiet internal panic that you might not be able to control it
24(1)
(5) Started my day crying and have found myself calming a lot. I know I'll probably cry tonight, but at least I haven't wanted to all day, that's something
(4) I feel this low burning of panic and self destruction under the surface. Like inside I'm screaming and hitting my head and clawing at my skin... Outside I am calm. I hate this feeling
25(3) I just wish I didn't feel this way
(2) It's so fucking difficult to let go of people you wanted to be in a relationship with
(5) Cried on my way to work but feeling calm this afternoon
(3) Before it ended she was taking a test to get onto a teaching degree. I ordered her a book to say congratulations but it ended before the book arrived. It makes me feel sad and I want her to have it
26(3)
(6) This morning I have stayed in bed all morning and watched snl and ghosbusters and its cheered me up a lot. This moment right now is why I chose to work in film and TV and that also make me happy
(8) Brainstorming new writing ideas and feeling really excited. Could be a good one
(9) I'm getting ready to go out and celebrate my friends birthday by dancing my little heart out. I'm excited to be getting dressed up and I'm really happy with how I look. Plus I had a productive day
27(7) I had a great night out but near the end I started feeling a bit panicked that I'd pissed off my friend.... I think she was just drunk
(6) I feel like I'm walking à tightrope today and I'm not sure what side I'm going to fall on
(5) Stayed in bed till 4pm and am anxious because I need to write a letter to her saying goodbye
(2) That's it. Letter written and ready to be posted with the book. I'm crying a lot. I feel left behind again by another person who saw me as a good option but nothing more.
(7) I cried it out. Then I binge watched snl to cheer myself up. Then I managed to get some writing done which is impressive since I write comedy and I'd been crying an hour earlier
28(5) Trying hard to stay on top today
(9) In a good headspace today
(9) Kept a really good mood all day. Having a laugh, singing songs, dancing. Even if this is part of my mental health issues I'm glad to be here for a bit because it's been rough lately
(10) I feel like I fucking run the world right now! I could do whatever I dream of and achieve everything I ever wanted! Howling at the moon like a real strong woman
29(7) Mornings are never fun but I'm feeling positive
(6) I haaaaaate my boss.... She's so rude
(10) I'm really enjoying writing at the moment and I'm feeling frustrated at work because I'd rather be writing. But work gives me good material so I need to remember that
30(7) Feeling good this morning
(6) Meh
31(7) I want to just write forever and not have to go to work
November
MTWTFSS
    1(6)
(6) I nearly dipped after she text me today but I powered on through and still am. I have a lot of positive things to focus on
2(5) Feeling a bit on the verge this weekend
(6) Got a phone call from a family friend who's been writing to me and checking in on me recently and that really made me smile
3(4) I need to find a way of calming myself down and cheering myself up. I'm having seizures all day and all the things I've been avoiding are starting to spring to mind
(3)
4(4) My mind is slipping into the not happy place again which means I know I'll have to work hard to get it back to where it was last week. I guess it's always good while it lasts
(2) Today was a difficult one to get through. I'm just tired of caring about shit
5(4) My landlord stresses me out and I'd rather avoid getting things fixed than deal with him. I wish I didn't have to rent
(3) I feel physically sick.... I have a recent ex texting to ask if I want her to send my stuff back and a previous ex emailing back and forth and I feel like I shouldn't have either in my life but...
6(4) Can't get out of my head today7No Reasons8No Reasons9(4) No one warned me that joker was a film that needed a damn trigger warning10No Reasons
11(7) I've not been on here for ages. I think the upped dose of my pills has kicked in fully because I've felt so stable and that's why I haven't been on here12(6) I think my pills have kicked in again and I feel in control13No Reasons14No Reasons15No Reasons16No Reasons17(4) Just feeling a little low today
(4) My anxiety levels are really high atm
18No Reasons19No Reasons20No Reasons21No Reasons22(4) It's my birthday tomorrow. I've been pretty much OK recently but this evening I am feeling a low setting in. My friends will arrive soon so hopefully that helps23No Reasons24(3) I had a really nice day till my friend who always needs to be the centre of attention but also organised my birthday lunch starting hitting on my friend then they left together
25(5) I feel really anxious that my friends are angry with me26No Reasons27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons