April
MTWTFSS
   1(6) accepting the normal range of human emotions is rough when you usually front as manic only -L2(3) sooo ready to not be conscious
(8)
(3)
3(5) the slider should probably be at 1 or 0, but emotions blank out when fresh trauma hits
(8) the pain of an enemy is a beautiful thing -L
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5(5) reliving the past- even a canon past is... odd. What's this emotion? Not sure. -L
(3) ?
(2) -L
(4) My emotional range is still developing, but irritation has given way to faint sadness -J
6(4)
(3)
(6) TTTHE STRESS finally snapped into GRIT -L
7(6) R, Z, E8(7) sometimes my headmates ask how I know it's me when I wake up fronting, then I point to the dreams that were interrupted 'she was back country, but backhanded too' *aggressive banjo*
(8)
(9) hey- uh- so stimming for fun is FANTASTIC?? Why haven't we tried this before??? -V and L
9(3)
(1) the dissociation is really thick
10(3)
(2)
(7) -A
11(9) L and A
12(7) R&Z
(2) apparently depressed. Feeling like I'll lose people before I even get to know them. Don't want to bond with people- not when they'll just disappear -A
(7) I'm- .. glad someone dragged me out of my cave. People aren't so bad. -A
13(8) when you both find a good song and all productivity is lost in the wake of it -L&V14(3) I was hoping we'd never say it again, but.. mood swing. -L&V
(3) big sad. is making easy things. HARD. -V
(8)
15(4) 16(2) half a face of make-up on and trying to not break down -? Drake, Laddy, Vern? Who knows
(4)
17(7) all my mates are depressed, but I'm viiibin -C
(1) can anyone say fresh trauma?
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19(5) been better been worse been more alive been dead -C
(4) my system is in shambles. And I'm just having daydreams about my boyfriend. why am I this way... -C
20(7) 21(7) -V
(4) I'm- not very good at melancholy -L
22(4) being alive just kind of sucks, hm? -R
(6) -R
(8) -R
(2) -L
23(7) guess the moods still swing both ways! .. Cute boyfriend also helps tbh -R
(5) -L
(8) black and rust red mania dampened only by excessive jogging -L
(6) happy tired delirious vibes -L
24(1) bad entertainment choices + mood swing + recent trauma = 5 hours of slow burn panic and covert hysteria -C
(7)
(5) this life hasn' been mine in over a year, but now 'm finally gettin some time to myself -C
(2) Unstable Bastards! -L
25(2) wow, recent trauma keeps hitting again and again and A g a i n -C
26(7) small victories for systems and Christianity -Ch
(6)
27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(6) §‡
(5) my brain vibes like analytical cubism
(4) random fatigue and being pulled with emotional triggers. Could be worse, could be worse. -C
29(6)
(1) I can finally see delusions creeping in, but no matter how hard I try, I can't fight them -C
30(2) Casually having an emotional breakdown for no reason -C
(6) Ch&M
(4) what do you do when the people you love keep trying to hold onto a crumbling alter? -Ch&M
(7) V: back at it again- L: at crispy memes
May
MTWTFSS
     1(5) R2(7) hehehe, all powerful science woman brought to her knees by our adorable local scholar whomst is her crush. It's so adorable to waaatch -L
(3)
3(5) is it wrong to hate him? The man who neglected me when I needed him most? On a perfectly normal day, is it wrong for me to dodge his embrace and avoid conversation?
(3) worries worries worries and tears -R
(6) unexpected support- compliments even. When did I become a thing of potential? -R
4(5) the pull to integrate keeps mounting, but we're not ready -R
(4) thought about the wrong things too early in the morning, and the stress bleed- well I think I'm going to try and switch out, not sure to who though... -L
(3) V
(6) wouldn't you know it, support systems actually help. A lot. -C
(8) V
5(6) R
(5) high energy and caught between loss and creation -V
(2) V
6(7) Vern just. Planned an entire book series in two days. -R
(9) stim song, plus wild story, and a new vibing pair -R&V
7(8) been looping a song for two days and it's still getting us high without fail -V&Lm
(3) C
(7) calmly and comfortably happy for once -C
8(6) C
(9) you ever just. accidentally fall in love? -C
9(7) centrality has spiked -C
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(5) C
(7) bad is tasting good again -C
12(5)
(4) feeling bad about feeling nothing, woooo -C
13(4) nightmares are a wide variety of strange -L
(6) depression vs music/friends doing a jojo standoff -L
14(2) apparently I do in fact have real human emotions, and now those emotions are telling me to cry and I don't like it one bit
(6) weighed loses, we're doing better -L&V
(3)
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(9) my favorite person is still around and now in their most exciting form yet! -V
17(4) 18(6) R
(3) cofronts are clumsy, and get even clumsier with each addition -R,C,V
(7) weird front plus friends ? -C,V,R
19(2) not to self: rapidly pursuing harsh plainness results in rapid, harsh, and plain emotions -V
(5) N
20(2) Depression still hitting hard, emotional anchors not coming back... I'm honestly just doing everything I can to keep this system afloat -Nameless21(5) perception shifts keeping things uncertain, which- is a good thing at this point -V22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(7)
24(3) was buzzing real good, but then had to play pretty, obedient, Christian girl during a family council I did not want to be at -V
(7) C&V
(5) :/ why does the mood always just. die. -C
25(7) Got some stimulation! Thank Hank- turns out I'm just one of those sorry adhd folks who get really depressed without enough stimulation. Thoroughly noted -C
(4) derealization ? -C
(8) mn~ boyfriend- grounding. Boyfriend and grounding -C
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27(8) So most definitely probably autistic. Somehow managed to get the mask I didn't know I had off, and spent the whole afternoon soaking in my own happy, nonverbal existence -C
(3) waking up fronting is just. hard. -C
28(5) just- tired. Is is depression leaving everyone here so constantly tired? ... I miss not being tired all the time. -N29(3) I love how when someone gets depressed enough, the brain just goes, 'how about I give you a nice alter to help with that?'30(7) Antares and I have been giving depression a run for its money. I like dae already -L
31(3) today. Has been stressed out, energy drained garbage. But my friend is an absolute thrill to have around. Pantheon bless. -V
(3) you ever been so stressed that it literally, physically hurts? -L
(1)
June
MTWTFSS
 1(6) rage and sheer grit garner the productivity that ease all worries -L
(6)
2(5) fatigueeeeeee. But better than yesterday. -L3(7) settled in with good German music. A peaceful day -V4(4) -N5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(6) -C
7(4) Wondering why I moved from hollow to weird and panicky, almost like Cy- 'oh, I switched, duh.' -C
(3)
8(3) still losing sleep, still stuck in front, boyfriends still don't realize how seriously I'm spiraling, boy I sure hope the connections to schizophrenia are just me being paranoid. -C9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(6) D12(2) nothing like some radical change to irritate the depression. C from now on will be Cy, not Cyrus. -C13(8) Burning! Oh how the upswings Burn! Too hot too fast and all I can do is just try to ride it out -C
14(2) I forgot how terrible the cycle is. At least I have anger these days -C
(3) C
(5) C
15(8) feels good to be feeling good -V
(1) C
16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(3) 18(7) C19(6) jitters -C
(2) got thinking about final fusion again -C
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21(5) C22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(7) 24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(2) nothing strikes terror like a headbrother contemplating your death -L
(4) misunderstandings are rough. Misunderstandings between people in the very same brain are rougher -C
26(2)
(6) C
27(7) C
(6) L
(9) C
28(7) C
(1) V
(6) C
29(3) adoptive mom telling me I need friends ppfffhhhkk... alright, so maybe I do, but it's rather hard given the circumstances, and I don't like problems I don't know how to solve -V30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
July
MTWTFSS
   1(6) C,V,L2(4) C3(2) C4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(6) C
(1)
(2) nothing like watching your narcissistic father ruin everyone's day with a f-cking hissy fit.
7(6) R8(2) 9(6) anger is refreshing after misery -C10(5) 11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(7) Awol, hell yeah.. Not sure why I'm the least depressed, but I'm rollin with it.
(6) A
18(3) C&A
(1) C&A
19(5)
(4) C&A
(3) C
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(7)
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(7)
(4) so so so full of conflicted feelings all the time, because all my family has for me is conflicting messages -C
(2) C
25(3) c
(4)
(2) C
26(2) do not rage against your loved ones do not rage against your loved ones do not rage against your loved ones do not rage against your loved ones -C27(4) V28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
August
MTWTFSS
      1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(3) 12(4) 13(5) 14(8) vibin like I haven't in a long. Long time. -C15(3)
16(2) 17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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