January
MTWTFSS
    1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2(8) A real high of the holiday. Time with Judith and feeling on top of things.
(5) Hmmm. Pre work blues
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
4(5) Stable at the start of back to work day 1. Good nights sleep and know where I need to focus. Let's pray for a good run Of events.5(4) Well here we go. Back at work and back in the red. Not a disaster yet but feels like lots of bear traps waiting to go off. Lockdown just makes it worse. So much for 2021 being easier.6(3) Hmmm. Hump day Wednesday again. Looks a big hill to climb. ?7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(3) Should be a fab day - my wife's birthday. In truth work could ruin it. Lord, help me be outward facing and not stress over my internal work concerns.9(5) Stabilised for the weekend. Need more belief. I will get through this.10(4) Optimism waning. Just feel overwhelmed again. Failure seems closer today. In reality my logically brain says it will be fine. The emotional brain keeps winning though ?
11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14(5) Holding together.15(3) End of the week. Too much left over. Feeling the anxiety ?16(6) Saturday was a good17(4) Sunday not feeling so hot. Funny dream seems to have knocked my sleep from 4am. ?. Full of work woes.
18(4) Mood not brighter as we work through Blue Monday. Frustrated with myself. Lack get up and go19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20(4) A step forward. The issues are coming out. Decisions are made on year end. Now I have to back into them. 5-6 weeks of justifying my role. Hmmm. Going to be a bumpy road.21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(5) The weekend so moving up the scale. Work next week will be mad. To do list scares me. Got that fuzzy feeling. At least I have it Saturday so hopefully clear on Sunday.24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(2) Really feeling it today. A 45-50 minute task this morning has gone on for 2 1/2 has and still opt complete. Feeling thoroughly depressed at the state of my work. Need to get out of here.27(3) Hump day Wednesday. Marginally better than yesterday but not great. Can't keep wishing my life away ....28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(3) Still not great. Need to end the day well to be able to enjoy the weekend.30(6) It's the weekend. Making the positive choice to enjoy the prescious time with the family. Put work worries to Monday.31(4) Struggling today. Waiting for that point I the day when my brain finally gives in and let's me enjoy the rest of Sunday. It is hard work being In my head sometimes.
February
MTWTFSS
1(4) Monday. Feels like a long week ahead. ?2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(4) A telling off from the boss yesterday. Helps make up my mind I need to move on when the time is right for the family. Not worth the grief4(4) Not loooking forward to today. ?5(3) Starting working form home at 5:30 in the morning is not good for ones health. This can't go on.6(8) Saturday. A solid 8 hours sleep and getting o to drop Ben and see mum and dad after 6 months. Feels good. ?7(4) Well that high was Short lived. Sunday morning blues again. Work worries dominate. Fear of failure high. I need to choose to enjoy my day somehow.
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(3) Just not functioning fully. Stress ia a huge to productivity. Not good.10(3) No signs of an up swing yet. Work just too damn challenging.11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(4) Oh no. Made the weekend and the fear of next week is too great to even get to neutral on my mood. Worst fears looking like they will be realised. Failure looms. Need to look at how I keep my job.14(2) Sunday morning working. And struggling at that. Too kcunto be done and crisis looms next week. Need to hold my nerve and hope I hold onto my job! Panic
15(2) Here we go. Worst week of my career so far coming up. Started at 5:40 and don't think I will stop all day. Going to be knackered by the end of the week. Just need to get through it somehow.16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(5) So far the week has gone better than feared. The danger with hope is it can easily slip away with one turn in events. Praying for continued hope, preparing for the worst.18(3) Hmmm. Nearly reached the end of another week.19(3) Here we go into Friday. Not the normal end of week slight easing of pressure. Today and Monday could be tough. Just remember I am still here & I surprise myself with what I can achieve.Hold my faith
(2) How can I go down during the day from 3. Hate my job. Need to get out.
20(5) The weekend. Such a relief21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22(3) Monday morning of the week when things could come crashing down. Actually have a little bit of hope. Just need some luck and have faith in my team.
(4) Got through today. A ray of hope nearly.
23(4) Today could go either way. Need my team to deliver and get items off the to do list. Feeling nervous.24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(3) Not much off the todo list. Some stuff getting close but never seems to go. More incoming still. Feeling squeezed. Big meetings today don't help. Feel trapped.26(3) Rubbish day.27(5) Better nights sleep. Still overwhelmed and not myself. Trying to look at how I get proactive and get my worries out there then deal with the consequences.28(5)
March
MTWTFSS
1(3) Monday. Somehow we are in March. Where did jan and feb go? 4-5 intractable problems to solve. Don't feel confident I will deliver. Feel rubbish.2(4) Still down but maybe getting close to the end of one challenge. Lots more bumps in the road still.3(4) Day could go either way. Need to trust in the lord.4(3) Tough couple of days just gone. 2 more other ones to go. Praying for no surprises. Some good news. Just need to hold my faith and keep focused. Feeling tired today though.5(4) Closure on one major issue today hopefully. Still shed loads of issues to clear down. Not sure my brain will be able to rest just yet.6(3) After Lord Mayors show. So the audit is done hopefully. Now feel overwhelmed by the scale of what I have ignored for 3-4 weeks. There's a mess to sort and I need to find the energy to clear it.7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8(3) Monday blues. Lots to do.9(3) Just looking forward to a morning where I don't wake up with adrenaline rushing through me in a state of panic worrying about the failures that I see coming. ?10(4) As ever. A ending the day better than I started. How do i discover that elusive confidence. Some steps today.11(3) Realising today that I have been mugged by one of my colleagues. He gets my team member and I go short. I am screwed. Hmmm. Doesn't seem fair.12(6) Day off and actually chilling. A good run, doing some jobs and forgetting work. A good chat the boss yesterday. First shoots of a recovery in my mental state?13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14(4) Another Sunday morning ruined by work fears. This is getting tedious.
15(4) Holding at 4. I have time this week - certainly the early part. I need to use it!16(3) Day 2 of the week and that feeling of being overwhelmed returns. Help!17(4) Better day yesterday. I know I am wanted and I know I can ask for help. My problem now is what help do I want and need? Where do I want to go next? How do I find time to figure this out? Hmmmm.18(3) Sheer blind panic. How do I silence that voice in my head that scares me on all the things that could go wrong!19(5) Looking at opportunities rather than beating myself up. Need to get on the front foot and be more proactive. Should I say, I will be more proactive....20(5) I am going to have a good weekend. I am not letting work concerns dominate. I am choosing to be happy and enjoy myself.21(6) Going to be positive. Today is going to be a good day. I will have fun.
22(5) For a Monday doing ok. Bit stuck on getting work moving and need to set myself some goals for the week but feeling more positive than I have been. Let's keep it going this week.23(5) Trying hard to be positive. I know the challenge ahead. I have the competency to succeed. Now I need the will, drive and determination. Easy to write. Harder to deliver.24(6) Midweek and tipping into positive. First time for a while. Good night sleep and positive call with the boss. Challenges seem manageable today. At least in my head they do!25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(5) Holding it together - just. Felt a better week. Not much has changed other than my mindset has a bit more determination behind it. Looking forward to a 2 day week next week.A time to think and reflect27(6) Holding it together now. Determination. To succeed becoming greater than fear of failure.28(5) Been a good day despite my emotions trying to hijack the day from me. Need to refuse to be negative!
29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31(5) Stable
(6) Looking up. Taking a punt on being honest about my mental challenges and getting support from work. Good news.
April
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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May
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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June
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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