3.8 avg
  1006 days
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My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Psychiatrist didn't give me anything for anxiety &, for some reason, raised my Luvox dose back to what we thought was making me dizzy. Who knows? Tardive Dyskinesia is bad. I went from a 1 on...
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Manda P LEGEND · 3h
...the scale to measure it the last time he checked to a 7 today. Not good. He is going to prescribe something if it's not better in the 3 weeks until I talk to him again. Daughter having a friend over tonight. She hasn't seen her friends in 4 months
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Manfred F · 2h
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 2h
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 2h
Luvox was a very unfun medicine for me. What are you taking that is causing TD of you don't mind me asking? That's pretty serious! Are there no alternatives that wouldn't cause it? Clozapine is one that does to mind.
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Manda P LEGEND · 2h
I've been on Clozapine for well over a year now. The TD started a long time ago. I've been on so many meds that it's hard for me to tell what started it. We had slowly lowered my Clozapine & now he thinks the higher dose was hiding the TD.
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Robert H GUARDIAN · 1h
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul 6
Today was an okay day. I have a new sleep medicine called Doral which is alright. Anxiety is relief up, but I have Serax. I'm finally gaining weight again, unfortunately. I knew the day would come.
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul
Oh I also started counseling through BetterHelp a few weeks ago and that's really helping too! Going to be staying DBT for borderline personality disorder, something I've never experienced before.
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul
Starting* not staying lol
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Manfred F · 04 Jul
*Hugs*
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Bipolar Bear . 1+ YEAR · 04 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 05 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 05 Jul
Good luck with it! I hope it helps!
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul 6
Feeling somewhat out of the hole I was in before. Started a brand new drug that came out just recently, Caplyta. It has been a miracle for me. The difference is night and day!
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nixiblu . HERO · 28 Jun
*Hugs*
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Manfred F · 28 Jun
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Shelley H HERO · 28 Jun
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 28 Jun
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 28 Jun
Good to see you, mik! Glad you are doing well!
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul
Thanks Manda!
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Shelley H HERO · 05 Jul
*Hugs*
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Shelley H HERO · 05 Jul
Very good my friend ❤ I'm happy for you. Keep up the good work
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Manda P LEGEND · 04 Jul 5
So dizzy & lightheaded. Took my reduced Luvox for the first time last night. Hope this helps SOON. Daughter started her period. I just happened to see she signed up for a period tracker when I...
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Manda P LEGEND · 03 Jul
...checked her email for a verification. I never look at her email & it just so happened she had started the day before. I asked her why she didn't tell me & she said she knew where the pads were. 😆
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Lenny + · 03 Jul
*Hugs*
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Lenny + · 03 Jul
Gosh she really sounds like she has her head on her shoulders.
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Lenny + · 03 Jul
I definitely wish that I had a mom to bond and tell me about my period though. So maybe there's probably much more room there.
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Samantha C · 03 Jul
*Hugs*
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Ann L · 03 Jul
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Ann J · 03 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manfred F · 03 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 03 Jul
Thanks, Lenny, & thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 04 Jul
Luvox was so trippy and hazy for me it was like I was in a constant state of doing shrooms. It was awful...
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Bipolar Bear . 1+ YEAR · 04 Jul
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . HERO · 04 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 04 Jul
Sorry to hear that, mik. It was definitely what was causing the dizziness & anxiety. I feel so much better after just a couple lowered dose days. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! 💚
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Alicia B LEGEND · 05 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B LEGEND · 05 Jul
💜💜💜 your daughter sounds so cool
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Manda P LEGEND · 05 Jul
Aw! Thanks, Alicia. That makes me happy. She actually is pretty damn cool!
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Michael W HERO · 08 Mar 3
Feeling like I'm going down again. Pleeease not again!! I can't stand this anymore...
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Tiffani E · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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Maria K 6+ MONTHS · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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me M 1+ YEAR · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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Esme G · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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corrado M · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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Split P LEGEND · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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Max T 1+ YEAR · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
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Max T 1+ YEAR · 07 Mar
Hang in there, Michael. We're all here with you and for you. You can get through this.
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Manda P LEGEND · 08 Mar
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 08 Mar
Thanks everyone
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Frustrated at political disagreements.
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Jen B HERO · 02 Mar
*Hugs*
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JVAN X GUARDIAN · 02 Mar
*Hugs*
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JVAN X GUARDIAN · 02 Mar
🍊🍊🍎🍎
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Michael W HERO · 03 Mar
Discussing politics is a guaranteed way to get p*ssed off. It always seems to escalate when two people find something they really disagree upon. It's sad. Happened with me and my best friend last night. We talked it out of course though.
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nixiblu . HERO · 03 Mar
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 16 Feb 7
Feeling oddly positive and energetic... Got a response from my psych. ECT is officially off the table with her. I am welcome to get a second opinion..... Continued in comment...
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Michael W HERO · 16 Feb
But I think the best thing for me is to stay the course of treatment, don't screw with my meds, and stick with her, because u can't imagine starting over new with someone unfamiliar especially in the acute condition I'm in now.
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Max T 1+ YEAR · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 17 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 16 Feb 5
Feeling semi normal this morning. Managed to fight off quite a lot of depression yesterday. I think Valium had to do with it.
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Michael W HERO · 16 Feb
I'm going to try to not take Valium today if I can help it because I want to see if this Fisher Whitacre Stimulator is actually working or not.
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corrado M · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Shania M · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Shania M · 16 Feb
Good for you
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Raisa C · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Jen D · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 16 Feb 0
No response from psychiatrist. No hope. I have some plans that are virtually failproof. If I can help it, I don't plan to be here much longer than it will take to get the supplies I need.
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Jake M · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Faith D NEW · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . HERO · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . HERO · 16 Feb
Hey Michael. When things are this low they can only get better. Hang in there please
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Michael W HERO · 16 Feb
This was a fleeting moment. I took some Valium and used my Fisher Wallace Stimulator and felt a little better. For the most part yesterday was much better than any day I've had in the past few weeks.
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Manda P LEGEND · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 15 Feb 6
Feeling somewhat chipper this morning but I know it's very short lived. In a matter of minutes to hours I will be back in my dark place again thinking about de@th.
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Albertine M LEGEND · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Albertine M LEGEND · 14 Feb
Hope you can keep chipper a bit longer
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Angel H NEW · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Sara B · 14 Feb
Same , this is being bipolar . I took medication and felt better . Still stuggelinb but less than before
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Sara B · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Mood P · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Aiden Paul J · 14 Feb
I understand how your feeling mate I felt the same as you today but thought it I wasn't around then I'll miss out on life and all the good things to come if there is such thing as a good life 😿
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corrado M · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 15 Feb
It's a daily cycle with me, and the happy time is getting shorter, and the depressed time getting longer and more intense day by day. I texted my psychiatrist begging for ECT or something equally as efficacious.
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Michael W HERO · 15 Feb
We'll see if she responds as she Is constantly up to her ears in patients. She is severely overworking herself. She has no time to take care of herself or take care of her patients adequately anymore.
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Michael W HERO · 15 Feb
But I've been seeing her for a long time and starting over new with another psychiatrist I don't think is the answer right now. It'd take months to get an appointment and months to years for them to properly assess me as being severe enough for ECT.
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Michael W HERO · 13 Feb 3
I stopped using my Fisher Wallace Stimulator and stopped feeling as deplorable (still feel pretty bad though). I think I'm going to send it back. All it did was give me headaches.
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Michael W HERO · 13 Feb
Have a therapist appointment in about 45 minutes, and it takes about that long to get there. If I leave now I'll make it, but I'm feeling too anxious to leave the house. And too down.
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Max T 1+ YEAR · 13 Feb
Hope you made your appointment, Michael. Stay strong.
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Manda P LEGEND · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 14 Feb
I didn't make my appointment but I did reschedule it for next week. I keto doing this... I used my Fisher Wallace device for the first time in several days this morning. Had to replace the sponges. Didn't even notice the flashing in my periphery.
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb 6
Scrubbed the shower today. That's always a huge accomplishment. Still slept a lot & ate too much. Where are the days when I had to force myself to eat? Glad it's the weekend. I'll eat less. Tired.
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Bipolar Bear . 1+ YEAR · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
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corrado M · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
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D C · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jen B HERO · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jeff M LEGEND · 01 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
Do you think it's your meds that are causing you to eat more and sleep more?
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb
I'm not sure, mik. I contacted my psychiatrist & he lowered my Trileptal to see if I wasn't so tired. It didn't help. I'm going to just wait till I see him on the 10th. I need him to raise my Vyvanse to see if it'll help the appetite problem.
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb 6
Slept till noon. Surprise surprise. Thought it was Sunday, glad it's only Saturday. BF going out of town to a casino during March Madness. Will be w/his school friends, possibly including my brother.
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Manda P LEGEND · 01 Feb
He told me that he told them that he wouldn't go to a strip club. I hadn't even thought of that. His mom gave him a $100 bill to take with him. Going to try & make plans to see my sister that day.
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Jen B HERO · 01 Feb
*Hugs*
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Jeff M LEGEND · 01 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Shelley H HERO · 02 Feb 7
Good night panda pals
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Robert H GUARDIAN · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Robert H GUARDIAN · 02 Feb
Good night Shelley.
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Jen B HERO · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
G'night!
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Elisabeth O · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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me M 1+ YEAR · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Shelley H HERO · 02 Feb
Hope you all rested well my friends
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb 6
Out of the hospital from a serious 5u1c1d3 attempt... Took 750 mg Librium. Activated charcoal is heretofore the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. Feeling better now.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
I'm lucky to have the mother and friend I have. They took turns staying with me, my friend at night and my mom during the day. The hospital psychiatrist said I may have borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar disorder.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
This new diagnosis is illuminating in both a good and a bad way. I'm to follow up with my psychiatrist, which I'm reluctant to do after my last experience with her dismissing me and the office staff scolding me for taking to long when I took 30 min.
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corrado M · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb
Oh, wow. Sorry to hear this. I'm glad you're ok though.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Jan 0
Well shit... There it is again. I'm seriously thinking about going inpatient... I can't handle this constant, rapid, sudden ups and downs. It's killing me.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
I'm so infuriated with my brain, my meds, everything. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of fighting. I'm just about done. But I know my mom would probably take her life too if I took mine. I don't want that. I wish I had simply never been born.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
My brothers keep telling me I wasn't planned. My mom says that's bs. I don't think I was meant to be. I truly believe my existance is an anomaly.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
I don't relate to hardly anyone, and those with whom I relate I barely relate I feel. Yet so many people who know me have such good things to say about me. I think they feel sorry for me.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
A guy I was interested in told me in a breakup email (we lived in different states) that I have 'kicked puppy syndrome' or something like that. Like I'm too fragile to be f*cked or taken seriously as a sexual partner. Too f*ucking fragile.
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Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
Maybe that's why people always compliment me or are nice to me (except the ones who aren't, and that's probably the way it should be with everyone interacting with me...)
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corrado M · 02 Jan
*Hugs*
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Ian D 6+ MONTHS · 02 Jan
*Hugs*
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Ian D 6+ MONTHS · 02 Jan
Hang in there. Have you got someone who you can talk to?
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corrado M · 02 Jan
talk to us
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Jan
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 02 Jan
Do you go to therapy? It would really help you out to talk about all this. No one is too fragile to be cared about.
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Michael W HERO · 08 Jan
I do go to therapy. I have an appointment on the 14th. My apologies for the angry post.
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Michael W HERO · 19 Dec 5
Not wanting to say that the veils have been lifted because I don't want to jinx myself, but I have felt more like myself for the past few days.
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Michael W HERO · 19 Dec
Thanks everyone for supporting me during this difficult time! 😁
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Jake M · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
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Penelope P LEGEND · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
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Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
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Caroline M · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 20 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 20 Dec
Glad to hear!
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Michael W HERO · 11 Dec 0
Feeling very disenchanted with the world. I'm such a burden by being born. I wish I never existed so it wouldn't hurt those who love me when I finally take my life.
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Michael W HERO · 11 Dec
If I make it to next year, okay... But if I make it to 2021, it'll be a damn miracle.
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nixiblu . HERO · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . HERO · 12 Dec
Michael. We are all here for you. 2019,2020,2021 and beyond
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Jacynta R · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Hannah G · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Sif M · 12 Dec
I feel love and care for you. Just because you were born.
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Robert H GUARDIAN · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B LEGEND · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 12 Dec
Thank all of you
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Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 13 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 13 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 13 Dec
We've got lots of love for you, mik! Remember it will always get better. Maybe not as quickly as you'd like, but you'll get there!
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Michael W HERO · 10 Dec 3
Feeling kinda like garbage this morning.
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Albertine M LEGEND · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Albertine M LEGEND · 09 Dec
Sorry to hear that, Michael - you certainly aren't, hope feeling passes quickly
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Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 10 Dec
Thanks
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Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 13 Dec
*Hugs*
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Michael W HERO · 04 Dec 0
My ex gave me a stern talking to about how I always look miserable and it's isolating me. I feel so despondent that I don't know what to do. I know he was trying to help me, but he was crass about it.
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Michael W HERO · 04 Dec
I feel like I'm done with life. I'm over. Michael's story has been finished. Now it's just time for me to kick the bucket and take a dirt nap, whenever that may be.
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Robert H GUARDIAN · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
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Lini V · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
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Thalia R · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
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Metron A SUPPORTER · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
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Metron A SUPPORTER · 04 Dec
I'm sorry to hear you are so down. Please don't do anything drastic. Pandas are here for you.
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nixiblu . HERO · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
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Manda P LEGEND · 04 Dec
Sorry to see you are feeling this way, mik. It only goes up from here.
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