3.8 avg
  1001 days
  5445 hugs
  88 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Michael W HERO · 08 Mar 3
Feeling like I'm going down again. Pleeease not again!! I can't stand this anymore...
10
 Hug ( 8 )
32x32
Tiffani E · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
Maria K 6+ MONTHS · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
me M 1+ YEAR · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
Esme G · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
corrado M · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
Split P LEGEND · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
Max T 1+ YEAR · 07 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
Max T 1+ YEAR · 07 Mar
Hang in there, Michael. We're all here with you and for you. You can get through this.
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 08 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 08 Mar
Thanks everyone
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Frustrated at political disagreements.
5
 Hug ( 3 )
32x32
Jen B HERO · 02 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
JVAN X GUARDIAN · 02 Mar
*Hugs*
32x32
JVAN X GUARDIAN · 02 Mar
🍊🍊🍎🍎
32x32
Michael W HERO · 03 Mar
Discussing politics is a guaranteed way to get p*ssed off. It always seems to escalate when two people find something they really disagree upon. It's sad. Happened with me and my best friend last night. We talked it out of course though.
32x32
nixiblu . HERO · 03 Mar
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 16 Feb 7
Feeling oddly positive and energetic... Got a response from my psych. ECT is officially off the table with her. I am welcome to get a second opinion..... Continued in comment...
3
 Hug ( 2 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 16 Feb
But I think the best thing for me is to stay the course of treatment, don't screw with my meds, and stick with her, because u can't imagine starting over new with someone unfamiliar especially in the acute condition I'm in now.
32x32
Max T 1+ YEAR · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 17 Feb
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 16 Feb 5
Feeling semi normal this morning. Managed to fight off quite a lot of depression yesterday. I think Valium had to do with it.
7
 Hug ( 5 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 16 Feb
I'm going to try to not take Valium today if I can help it because I want to see if this Fisher Whitacre Stimulator is actually working or not.
32x32
corrado M · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Shania M · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Shania M · 16 Feb
Good for you
32x32
Raisa C · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Jen D · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 16 Feb 0
No response from psychiatrist. No hope. I have some plans that are virtually failproof. If I can help it, I don't plan to be here much longer than it will take to get the supplies I need.
6
 Hug ( 4 )
32x32
Jake M · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Faith D NEW · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
nixiblu . HERO · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
nixiblu . HERO · 16 Feb
Hey Michael. When things are this low they can only get better. Hang in there please
32x32
Michael W HERO · 16 Feb
This was a fleeting moment. I took some Valium and used my Fisher Wallace Stimulator and felt a little better. For the most part yesterday was much better than any day I've had in the past few weeks.
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 16 Feb
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 15 Feb 6
Feeling somewhat chipper this morning but I know it's very short lived. In a matter of minutes to hours I will be back in my dark place again thinking about de@th.
12
 Hug ( 6 )
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 14 Feb
Hope you can keep chipper a bit longer
32x32
Angel H NEW · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Sara B · 14 Feb
Same , this is being bipolar . I took medication and felt better . Still stuggelinb but less than before
32x32
Sara B · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Mood P · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Aiden Paul J · 14 Feb
I understand how your feeling mate I felt the same as you today but thought it I wasn't around then I'll miss out on life and all the good things to come if there is such thing as a good life 😿
32x32
corrado M · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 15 Feb
It's a daily cycle with me, and the happy time is getting shorter, and the depressed time getting longer and more intense day by day. I texted my psychiatrist begging for ECT or something equally as efficacious.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 15 Feb
We'll see if she responds as she Is constantly up to her ears in patients. She is severely overworking herself. She has no time to take care of herself or take care of her patients adequately anymore.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 15 Feb
But I've been seeing her for a long time and starting over new with another psychiatrist I don't think is the answer right now. It'd take months to get an appointment and months to years for them to properly assess me as being severe enough for ECT.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 13 Feb 3
I stopped using my Fisher Wallace Stimulator and stopped feeling as deplorable (still feel pretty bad though). I think I'm going to send it back. All it did was give me headaches.
4
 Hug ( 1 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 13 Feb
Have a therapist appointment in about 45 minutes, and it takes about that long to get there. If I leave now I'll make it, but I'm feeling too anxious to leave the house. And too down.
32x32
Max T 1+ YEAR · 13 Feb
Hope you made your appointment, Michael. Stay strong.
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 14 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 14 Feb
I didn't make my appointment but I did reschedule it for next week. I keto doing this... I used my Fisher Wallace device for the first time in several days this morning. Had to replace the sponges. Didn't even notice the flashing in my periphery.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb 6
Scrubbed the shower today. That's always a huge accomplishment. Still slept a lot & ate too much. Where are the days when I had to force myself to eat? Glad it's the weekend. I'll eat less. Tired.
8
 Hug ( 6 )
32x32
Bipolar Bear . 1+ YEAR · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
corrado M · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
D C · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
Jen B HERO · 31 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
Jeff M LEGEND · 01 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
Do you think it's your meds that are causing you to eat more and sleep more?
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb
I'm not sure, mik. I contacted my psychiatrist & he lowered my Trileptal to see if I wasn't so tired. It didn't help. I'm going to just wait till I see him on the 10th. I need him to raise my Vyvanse to see if it'll help the appetite problem.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb 6
Slept till noon. Surprise surprise. Thought it was Sunday, glad it's only Saturday. BF going out of town to a casino during March Madness. Will be w/his school friends, possibly including my brother.
4
 Hug ( 3 )
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 01 Feb
He told me that he told them that he wouldn't go to a strip club. I hadn't even thought of that. His mom gave him a $100 bill to take with him. Going to try & make plans to see my sister that day.
32x32
Jen B HERO · 01 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Jeff M LEGEND · 01 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Shelley H HERO · 02 Feb 7
Good night panda pals
7
 Hug ( 4 )
32x32
Robert H GUARDIAN · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Robert H GUARDIAN · 02 Feb
Good night Shelley.
32x32
Jen B HERO · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
G'night!
32x32
Elisabeth O · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
me M 1+ YEAR · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Shelley H HERO · 02 Feb
Hope you all rested well my friends
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb 6
Out of the hospital from a serious 5u1c1d3 attempt... Took 750 mg Librium. Activated charcoal is heretofore the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. Feeling better now.
5
 Hug ( 2 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
I'm lucky to have the mother and friend I have. They took turns staying with me, my friend at night and my mom during the day. The hospital psychiatrist said I may have borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar disorder.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Feb
This new diagnosis is illuminating in both a good and a bad way. I'm to follow up with my psychiatrist, which I'm reluctant to do after my last experience with her dismissing me and the office staff scolding me for taking to long when I took 30 min.
32x32
corrado M · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Feb
Oh, wow. Sorry to hear this. I'm glad you're ok though.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 02 Jan 0
Well shit... There it is again. I'm seriously thinking about going inpatient... I can't handle this constant, rapid, sudden ups and downs. It's killing me.
12
 Hug ( 3 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
I'm so infuriated with my brain, my meds, everything. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of fighting. I'm just about done. But I know my mom would probably take her life too if I took mine. I don't want that. I wish I had simply never been born.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
My brothers keep telling me I wasn't planned. My mom says that's bs. I don't think I was meant to be. I truly believe my existance is an anomaly.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
I don't relate to hardly anyone, and those with whom I relate I barely relate I feel. Yet so many people who know me have such good things to say about me. I think they feel sorry for me.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
A guy I was interested in told me in a breakup email (we lived in different states) that I have 'kicked puppy syndrome' or something like that. Like I'm too fragile to be f*cked or taken seriously as a sexual partner. Too f*ucking fragile.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 02 Jan
Maybe that's why people always compliment me or are nice to me (except the ones who aren't, and that's probably the way it should be with everyone interacting with me...)
32x32
corrado M · 02 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
Ian D 6+ MONTHS · 02 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
Ian D 6+ MONTHS · 02 Jan
Hang in there. Have you got someone who you can talk to?
32x32
corrado M · 02 Jan
talk to us
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Jan
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 02 Jan
Do you go to therapy? It would really help you out to talk about all this. No one is too fragile to be cared about.
32x32
Michael W HERO · 08 Jan
I do go to therapy. I have an appointment on the 14th. My apologies for the angry post.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 19 Dec 5
Not wanting to say that the veils have been lifted because I don't want to jinx myself, but I have felt more like myself for the past few days.
7
 Hug ( 5 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 19 Dec
Thanks everyone for supporting me during this difficult time! 😁
32x32
Jake M · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Penelope P LEGEND · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Caroline M · 19 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 20 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 20 Dec
Glad to hear!
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 11 Dec 0
Feeling very disenchanted with the world. I'm such a burden by being born. I wish I never existed so it wouldn't hurt those who love me when I finally take my life.
12
 Hug ( 7 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 11 Dec
If I make it to next year, okay... But if I make it to 2021, it'll be a damn miracle.
32x32
nixiblu . HERO · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
nixiblu . HERO · 12 Dec
Michael. We are all here for you. 2019,2020,2021 and beyond
32x32
Jacynta R · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Hannah G · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Sif M · 12 Dec
I feel love and care for you. Just because you were born.
32x32
Robert H GUARDIAN · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Alicia B LEGEND · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 12 Dec
Thank all of you
32x32
Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 13 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 13 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 13 Dec
We've got lots of love for you, mik! Remember it will always get better. Maybe not as quickly as you'd like, but you'll get there!
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 10 Dec 3
Feeling kinda like garbage this morning.
6
 Hug ( 4 )
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 09 Dec
Sorry to hear that, Michael - you certainly aren't, hope feeling passes quickly
32x32
Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 10 Dec
Thanks
32x32
Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 13 Dec
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 04 Dec 0
My ex gave me a stern talking to about how I always look miserable and it's isolating me. I feel so despondent that I don't know what to do. I know he was trying to help me, but he was crass about it.
9
 Hug ( 6 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 04 Dec
I feel like I'm done with life. I'm over. Michael's story has been finished. Now it's just time for me to kick the bucket and take a dirt nap, whenever that may be.
32x32
Robert H GUARDIAN · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Lini V · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Thalia R · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Metron A SUPPORTER · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Metron A SUPPORTER · 04 Dec
I'm sorry to hear you are so down. Please don't do anything drastic. Pandas are here for you.
32x32
nixiblu . HERO · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 04 Dec
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 04 Dec
Sorry to see you are feeling this way, mik. It only goes up from here.
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 27 Nov 3
Still thinking about him... All the things I'll never get to experience with him. I'm going to miss being his boyfriend, but look forward to being his good friend.
4
 Hug ( 3 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 27 Nov
He's not going anywhere, and I'm very thankful for that.
32x32
Eve H · 27 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
M M · 28 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 29 Nov
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 21 Nov 6
Had a good weekend. The musical is finally over so that's a lot less stress, but the Peace on Earth concert is coming up which introduces a new onslaught of stress.
7
 Hug ( 5 )
32x32
Spacekitten V 1+ YEAR · 18 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Jen B HERO · 18 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 19 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 19 Nov
So nice to see you again, Michael, and great to see green!
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 19 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 21 Nov
Thanks everyone! It's good to be back! I'm glad they finally updated the app where I can use it on my phone (sort of... There are still some bugs here and there...)
32x32
Alicia B LEGEND · 21 Nov
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 12 Nov 5
Feeling somewhat normal for the first time after having a massive meltdown last week...
7
 Hug ( 4 )
32x32
Michael W HERO · 12 Nov
I'm super thankful for my support system... My family, friends, and my boyfriend have all been wonderful to me the past few days. I wish I could be a better person for them.
32x32
Melissa G NEW · 12 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Lenora H · 12 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Ian D 6+ MONTHS · 12 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 15 Nov
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 15 Nov
I'm sure they love you just the way you are! Glad to see ya back, mik!
32x32
Michael W HERO · 18 Nov
Thanks!
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Michael W HERO · 19 Aug 6
Suddenly feeling much better. I APPLIED FOR JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!
7
 Hug ( 3 )
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 17 Aug
*Hugs*
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 17 Aug
Woo-hoo! Good luck!
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 17 Aug
*Hugs*
32x32
Albertine M LEGEND · 17 Aug
Good luck!
32x32
Tasha S GUARDIAN · 17 Aug
*Hugs*
32x32
Michael W HERO · 19 Aug
Thanks! :D
32x32
Manda P LEGEND · 25 Oct
mik, you look GREAT! Very healthy & happy! That makes me so happy! Well done on getting things back on track. May your happiness continue! 😊
Once logged in you can be part of the community