Nick N - MoodPanda Mood Diary

3.1 avg

61 days

505 hugs

26 followers

My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users

Nick N SUPPORTER · 08 Apr 5

No idea on what to rate my mood. I'm no longer an informal patient I'm now detained under s5.4 of the Mental Health Act. So can't leave here for 72 hours. Being detained because i asked to go out but

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was honest and admitted I might not come back and that i was planning ***e. So doctor detained me. On tuesday a different doctor intends to discharge me from hospital. After which i will kill myself. Getting discharged because i have previously

Nick N SUPPORTER · 08 Apr

absconded intending to kill myself. Wish i could be around to hear what the coroner makes of this absurd decision.

John T LEGEND · 08 Apr

Tell both Doctors your plans, Nick. Forget the past, you've got a lot to give! You are a great Panda. I thought things were changing for you, even if not, they will eventually. I hope you find some hope!

Michael W HERO · 08 Apr

What you are planning to do is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please don't end your book with empty pages left in it. Things *will* get better. Everything is transitory, things *can't* suck forever.

Michael W HERO · 08 Apr

Please stay with us and continue getting treatment (whatever it takes, even if it's ECT) until you achieve remission. It could be that you need something in addition to the antidepressant, and you may need a faster titration onto the antidepressant.

Ivanova · 08 Apr

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Louise S · 08 Apr

Its always worth keeping fighting buddy, there are so many more years which will be filled with joy - we feel the ***tiest because we cannot see how good our future can be. Keep strong, everyone here at least is behind you x

Louise S · 08 Apr

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Michelle W HERO · 08 Apr

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Natalie C GUARDIAN · 08 Apr

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Metron A SUPPORTER · 09 Apr

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 14 Apr

He is no longer with us 😞

Michael W HERO · 16 Apr

Is this for real? Please say it isn't...

Binky B HERO · 17 Apr

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 01 Apr 5

Another of those stupid days when i just don't know where my heads at. Mood is ok but I've been so obsessed with methods of suicide. Started AD meds thursday, don't know if they messing with my head

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 01 Apr

Stayed in all day so kept safe

Tasha S GUARDIAN · 01 Apr

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 01 Apr

Glad you are safe, you can always talk to me if you need to x

K T 6+ MONTHS · 01 Apr

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 01 Apr

I had some negative side effects from AD medication before. Starting out, I had what I guess is the side effect described as depersonalization. I couldn't feel any emotions. I remember my sister had gotten me flowers and I was looking at them but I

K T 6+ MONTHS · 01 Apr

couldn't like them. It lasted a couple of days as far as I remember. Apart from that, I do remember having some unpleasant experiences when I had drank alcohol, especially if I had forgotten a dose or two accidentally.

K T 6+ MONTHS · 01 Apr

I would advise not to drink while on the meds. Alcohol is a depressant after all. . . Anyways, hope you feel better soon. Try to make sure you eat and sleep well. Get some exercise if you can.

K T 6+ MONTHS · 01 Apr

If your motivation is very low and you are finding it hard to enjoy activities, try to find SOMETHING that is at least distracting if not enjoyable. Talk to someone supportive of particularly low. Even a helpline if necessary. Best wishes X

Noel L SUPPORTER · 01 Apr

Some good advice. Most anti depressents will take 4 weeks to have positive effect. Hang in there Nick

Lydia R HERO · 01 Apr

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Margot L SUPPORTER · 01 Apr

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Lieteke G · 05 Apr

Nick, we haven't heard from you for some time, how are you coping?

Nick N SUPPORTER · 05 Apr

Very badly. Being discharged on tuesday which terrifies me. I'm certain I'll be dead within a week if i actually survive until discharge. My thinking is entirely dominated by ***e.

Lieteke G · 05 Apr

Oh Nick! The discharging must be so scary, but I hope you will have some help when out. You have proven you are strong, i hope you find some.

Lieteke G · 05 Apr

Strength within yourself to make it outside for just a few days, to see how it feels. That you will be able to take it 1 day at the time, lr even a few hours at the time. It is a lot to ask for, but I think you can do it. 💜

Michelle W HERO · 08 Apr

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 30 Mar 5

I think I need to start going to bed earlier

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Lydia R HERO · 30 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 30 Mar

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Albertine M LEGEND · 30 Mar

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Richard E SUPPORTER · 30 Mar

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Jeff M LEGEND · 30 Mar

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Love 1 LEGEND · 30 Mar

Makes a difference.

Natalie C GUARDIAN · 30 Mar

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DesBear D GUARDIAN · 30 Mar

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Reba H GUARDIAN · 30 Mar

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anon u · 31 Mar

Pocketing GO is dangerous you know. People died cause of it when they ran across the road

anon u · 31 Mar

Ops! I meant Pokemon

Richard E SUPPORTER · 31 Mar

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 01 Apr

That was random but thank you for the warning 🙈

anon u · 02 Apr

I just thought you meant Pikachu for Pokemon GO

anon u · 02 Apr

From Pokemon Go I mean

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 30 Mar 4

I'm actually feeling a little hope for the future today. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2022667797762751&id=100000586511979

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anon u · 29 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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Jen B HERO · 29 Mar

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Jeff M LEGEND · 29 Mar

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Jeff M LEGEND · 29 Mar

Even a little hope is a monumental achievement!

Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

It makes me happy to hear that.

John T LEGEND · 29 Mar

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John T LEGEND · 29 Mar

Good luck Nick

Albertine M LEGEND · 29 Mar

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Albertine M LEGEND · 29 Mar

Good luck dear Nickxx

Margot L SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Lieteke G · 30 Mar

That is good news. A lot of possitive can happen in 6 months. This law change is great.

Nick N SUPPORTER · 30 Mar

It's fair to say this one change is changing my view of living. I can actually see me getting through this. Thank you all for your lovely comments and hugs.

Love 1 LEGEND · 30 Mar

I appreciated the last paragraph best. Acknowledging the difficulties, but ends with notes of optimism, hope and courage. Courage being not the absence of fear, but the willingness to soldier on despite the fear.

John T LEGEND · 30 Mar

Well said, Love!

Scout S · 01 Apr

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Janine S 1+ YEAR · 29 Mar 4

Woke up with quite a lot of stuff on my mind.

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anon u · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

I have found this helpful before. It's a guided meditation. Might help if you get the chance to listen to it. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S92hR3YgblUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S92hR3YgblU

Jeff M LEGEND · 29 Mar

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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John T LEGEND · 29 Mar

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Penelope P LEGEND · 29 Mar 4

I'm going out in half an hour, bus, appointment, bus. I probably make it look easy but inside I've got snakes the whole time :(

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Penelope P LEGEND · 29 Mar

I did it, and it was fine as usual! 🙄

Sif M · 29 Mar

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Richard E SUPPORTER · 30 Mar

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DesBear D GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

But you are doing it and that is a huge achievement

Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

^^^^ I agree with Nick!!

K T 6+ MONTHS · 30 Mar

The more you do despite your anxiety, the less your brain will perceive it as anxiety-provoking! Your teaching yourself that it's a safe thing to do which is great Penelope! x

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Asheton F · 29 Mar 4

People are making me uncomfortable

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Beth M 1+ YEAR · 29 Mar 4

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar 3

#Insomnia. My fears came true today. A boy at my sons school started bullying him for his bi-sexuality. I knew it would happen but it hit me so hard. He's completely fine, I'm the mess.

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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Odie W · 29 Mar

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anon u NEW · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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Margot L SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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anon u NEW · 30 Mar

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Dave C · 30 Mar

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anon u · 31 Mar

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anon u · 31 Mar

It's weird people still do it in 2k18. Tell your son he's awesome and the rest doesn't matter x

Michelle W HERO · 31 Mar

Thank you 😊Kristina

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Odie W · 29 Mar 2

i cried last night and i pretended i didn't because it was the only way to make my mum feel better. i don't actually have a good reason for why i didn't tell her.

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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Sif M · 29 Mar

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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anon u NEW · 29 Mar

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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Margot L SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar 6

Came into university this morning. Proud I made it in time to get a lift in with my Mom. Though, admittedly, I have an appointment at 10am so that was part of the motivation. Hoping to get work done.

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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tEnT S 1+ YEAR · 29 Mar 6

Had a great first day back home!

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anon u NEW · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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Amelia P 6+ MONTHS · 04 Apr

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Jen B HERO · 29 Mar 3

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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Hanna H · 29 Mar 8

I did my test and idk it went okay, but I can go home today. YAY! And see my bf for over 3 weeks woo.

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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anon u · 29 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

congrats!

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar 5

Sleepy after staying up late last night, need to get up for Pikachu, I hope she is ok.

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Lydia R HERO · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

Is pikachu still trying to hide or willing to come out and see you now?

Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

Still hiding. She was hissing at me when I took her food and water out to change it.

Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

I thinks it's going to take a while for her to adjust.

Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

That's natural but as she hets used to you providing food she'll come round and make friends with you

Nick N SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

Also really good to talk very gently and calmly to her

K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

Is Pikachu your cat? Cute name. :)

Michelle W HERO · 29 Mar

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

Yeah hopefully, I want to be friends with her! I've been talking to her and singing to her. She makes me jump when she chirps though haha!

Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

No unfortunately I'm allergic to cats, she's a new cockatiel I rehomed :) thank you :)

K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

Alas, me too (allergic) but we have two at home! I only found out a few years after we got them! (Well they crept into the house when they were kittens. We asked the neighbours if they were theirs and if they wanted them and they suggested we keep

K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

them!!) I'm allergic to dust, 'grass mix', mold and isopropyl alcohol too though and my allergies didn't appear to drastically improve when I was away from home for a year so it's difficult to say which is the worst!

K T 6+ MONTHS · 29 Mar

A cockatiel though, interesting pet! :D

Albertine M LEGEND · 29 Mar

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Margot L SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

Yeah I'm allergic to lots of things too, yeah I know, birds singing makes me happy and I hope that when she is comfortable she will start singing too :)

DesBear D GUARDIAN · 29 Mar

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Richard E SUPPORTER · 30 Mar

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K T 6+ MONTHS · 30 Mar

ah yes, for sure! I love birdsong! 😊

anon u · 31 Mar

Hey is the Pikachu a Pokemon?

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Lydia R HERO · 28 Mar 3

Called in sick at work, and most likely won't go tomorrow either. I know I should push myself, but for what. Pointless.

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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John T LEGEND · 28 Mar

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Mark W GUARDIAN · 28 Mar

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Jeff M LEGEND · 28 Mar

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DesBear D GUARDIAN · 28 Mar

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Penelope P LEGEND · 29 Mar

I was the same tues and yest, but I've accepted that sometimes you just have to put your own needs first even when it comes to your job however much it goes against the grain.

Penelope P LEGEND · 29 Mar

*Hugs*

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Esther B LEGEND · 28 Mar 3

Now my only hope on a decent goodbye is gone thanks to justice. Just let ppl decide about their own life and death.

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Esther B LEGEND · 28 Mar

Well Lydia there's this cooperation that tried to arrange stuff for ppl and now they're being prosecuted. Nothing really changed just the OM got involved.

sonny S 1+ YEAR · 28 Mar

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Jeff M LEGEND · 28 Mar

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Richard E SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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DesBear D GUARDIAN · 28 Mar

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Tasha S GUARDIAN · 28 Mar

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Silke V HERO · 28 Mar

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Metron A SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 28 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 28 Mar

Has something changed?

Nick N SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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Scout S · 28 Mar

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D M 6+ MONTHS · 28 Mar 2

So unhappy. I wish I could have a relationship or a job

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Scout S · 28 Mar

I apologize if this question is unwelcome, but are you currently attending therapy, or able to pursue that? It looks like you may benefit from some professional help. Best of wishes.

Metron A SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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D M 6+ MONTHS · 28 Mar

Yes scout I actually went today. But as a single parent with no job or relationship how can I be positive? Nothing works out for me.

D M 6+ MONTHS · 28 Mar

I've applied to dozens of jobs and can't get one date on 4 dating apps

Nick N SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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Michelle W HERO · 30 Mar

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tEnT S 1+ YEAR · 02 Apr

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Pea P 1+ YEAR · 28 Mar 5

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Metron A SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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Nick N SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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Metron A SUPPORTER · 28 Mar 8

Filling out second stage interview questions for a company that I really vibe with. Feels good. Leave for retreat tomorrow. Nervous, but much like last time I think the thing I'll miss most is music.

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Lydia R HERO · 28 Mar

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Lydia R HERO · 28 Mar

how long is the retreat? And good luck for the interview, sounds really promising so far!

Nick N SUPPORTER · 28 Mar

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anon u · 29 Mar

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Margot L SUPPORTER · 29 Mar

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Love 1 LEGEND · 30 Mar

Sweet. What kind of retreat is it? How long will you be away? Just completed one. Looking forward to my next in Aug.

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